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Had enough!


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I'm really struggling :(

 

I don't think I want to do this job any more. There's just too much responsibility and too much to worry about. It irks me that in Mrs O's eyes, our little, village Preschool needs to do exactly the same amount of work as a full daycare setting. I don't even have an office.

 

I am a key person to a small (for now, ever-growing) group of children, including one with special needs, as well as recently having my own daughter diagnosed with ASD and all the stress and worry that goes with that and her just starting mainstream nursery at school.

 

I have always been one to take work home with me (and now have to, literally!) and worry about it when lying in bed at night and, to be honest, the stress of it all is taking its toll. I don't want to be the boss any more, but I've tried 'stepping down' in the past at another setting and it was really hard not having the same input! (Yes, I know, 'cake' and 'eat it' spring to mind!)

 

No need to reply, just need to get it off my chest.

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Sort of know what you mean. I went through something similar the first time I tried to "manage" my own setting. I did give up and took a break from management for three years but came back having completed degree and become more confident. This might not be the right time for you especially with the support your daughter needs. Or it could be that you need some support from your staff or LA or if you are a committee run from the committee.

Can you delegate to any of your team even while you get your breath back?

My thoughts are with you. Whatever you decide to do will be right but don't think for one minute that you can't do the job. You are doing it! And doing it well!

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I can sympathise with you, we are a packaway setting and also have no office. The main thing to remember is that YOUR child comes first. Also, you can only do so much in one day. Try not to get in the habit of taking too much home no matter how tempting it is. I know we all joke about our "to do" lists but if you write down the absolute essentials to keep you ticking over each day, it might help. Could the burden be shared with your staff? It helps if they can take on a job from the list. I feel your pain, I really do.

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I can sympathise with you, we are a packaway setting and also have no office. The main thing to remember is that YOUR child comes first. Also, you can only do so much in one day. Try not to get in the habit of taking too much home no matter how tempting it is. I know we all joke about our "to do" lists but if you write down the absolute essentials to keep you ticking over each day, it might help. Could the burden be shared with your staff? It helps if they can take on a job from the list. I feel your pain, I really do.

 

HiAPreschool - I could have written your post myself... :(

 

I have lost both my parents this year within 5 months of each other which hasn't helped my feelings. I have an owner that is not really interested in the setting, as long as we 'tick' over nicely. I have now cut back significantly of what I take home, and larnielass gives very good advice in her (his?!) post.

 

We are due an Ofsted, and I know without the extra freebie work I do we will not get a good result, however I'm no longer prepared to do this whilst the owner is not interested- they have been told my thoughts, which was met with general disinterest. :(:(:(

Some nights I lay in bed and feel physically sick at the thought of it all.

 

I think it is time for me to walk away. xDxD :lol:

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Again echoing above didn't want to read and run! I too have gotten to the same point, I've had to try really hard and say I can only do what I can! I'm stopping doing so much and that's that.... I know it may mean things are not as on point as I like nor things as organised as my OCD requires but I need sanity and rest!!! what's worse that could happen 'oh a bit of a crappy Ofsted' well so what I will live after that and my kids don't care if I come home and tell them I've got RI or outstanding!!!

 

Delegate where possible, make sure you only do what you can 'we are not machines' and rest mentally xxxxx

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I think we all know how you are feeling. It's difficult enough to keep everything together when it's all running good at home, so you must feel torn at the moment with your daughter but, as Larnie lass said, your daughter, and then your wellbeing must come first. You will never get this time back and the problem is parents, staff, committee probably won't really truly apprepriate sacrifices you make. Any chance you can take a week or two off, before numbers build up, to take stock and make decisions???

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HiAPreschool - I could have written your post myself... :(

 

I have lost both my parents this year within 5 months of each other which hasn't helped my feelings. I have an owner that is not really interested in the setting, as long as we 'tick' over nicely. I have now cut back significantly of what I take home, and larnielass gives very good advice in her (his?!) post.

 

We are due an Ofsted, and I know without the extra freebie work I do we will not get a good result, however I'm no longer prepared to do this whilst the owner is not interested- they have been told my thoughts, which was met with general disinterest. :(:(:(

Some nights I lay in bed and feel physically sick at the thought of it all.

 

I think it is time for me to walk away. xDxD :lol:

I'm so sorry about your parents. I can only begin to imagine how you must feel :(

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I think we all know how you are feeling. It's difficult enough to keep everything together when it's all running good at home, so you must feel torn at the moment with your daughter but, as Larnie lass said, your daughter, and then your wellbeing must come first. You will never get this time back and the problem is parents, staff, committee probably won't really truly apprepriate sacrifices you make. Any chance you can take a week or two off, before numbers build up, to take stock and make decisions???

 

I am taking an extra day off per week until half term (we are closed on Thursdays anyway, and overstaffed on a Tuesday, so I've taken that off and reasoned I'm saving them money! It also gives me chance to go to a support group, which will be a big help emotionally. No idea what will happen after half term though! I already feel as though my team are resentful of me taking the Tuesday.

 

You are so right that I will never get this time back - and that makes it even harder to make decisions about what's best! Ugh!

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All Early Years jobs are stressful but somehow committee run & packaway settings are even more so I feel.

I totally feel your pain and after our Ofsted earlier in the year I have definitiely stepped back a bit BUT then I get very anxious that we aren't doing everything that we should be doing.

I have missed so much of my own children's growing up because of preschool and I now resent it - it is my time to move on, but I just can't make the decision or make the big step - it's draining.

 

Is your Deputy supportive? Could she take on any of the load?

Can any of your jobs be delegated, I'm sure something could be (just hope your staff are supportive!)

I know when I was committee I was desperate to help (and eventually ended up managing the place :blink: ) and the then manager asked me if I would type up their amended policies, they altered the original passed them to me and I typed them up for them - it was easy for me because of my back ground but for the then manager she saw it as a huge battle! - you never know if you are committee run maybe one of them could help

 

Good Luck and rant away as you can see there's lots of us 'in the same boat' :P

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All Early Years jobs are stressful but somehow committee run & packaway settings are even more so I feel.

I totally feel your pain and after our Ofsted earlier in the year I have definitiely stepped back a bit BUT then I get very anxious that we aren't doing everything that we should be doing.

I have missed so much of my own children's growing up because of preschool and I now resent it - it is my time to move on, but I just can't make the decision or make the big step - it's draining.

 

Is your Deputy supportive? Could she take on any of the load?

Can any of your jobs be delegated, I'm sure something could be (just hope your staff are supportive!)

I know when I was committee I was desperate to help (and eventually ended up managing the place :blink: ) and the then manager asked me if I would type up their amended policies, they altered the original passed them to me and I typed them up for them - it was easy for me because of my back ground but for the then manager she saw it as a huge battle! - you never know if you are committee run maybe one of them could help

 

Good Luck and rant away as you can see there's lots of us 'in the same boat' :P

 

Committee help? xD They are supportive in some ways, but all too busy in their own lives to be truly useful :rolleyes: My deputies (I have 2!)... my four-dayer is new this term, and still finding her feet. She is also the SENCo and that is turning into quite a job. I feel she would be a good manager given time, but this is her first supervisory type role. My other deputy is two days and already runs two other businesses of her own, which take up all of her spare time and she moans about how much Tapestry time we have to do at home (there's no other way). So, yes...

 

It's not so much the workload at the moment, but just the general lack of confidence in my abilities to do a great job, to make sure all is how it should be. I find I am constantly thinking about FBVs and am I doing good supervisions, and as for bloody planning....! when really, there are bigger things to think about in my life right now :mellow:

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It's not so much the workload at the moment, but just the general lack of confidence in my abilities to do a great job, to make sure all is how it should be. I find I am constantly thinking about FBVs and am I doing good supervisions, and as for bloody planning....! when really, there are bigger things to think about in my life right now :mellow:

You are sounding just like me I have exactly the same worries, honest! but I don't have the same pressures as you at home and that MUST come first otherwise you WILL regret it.

Planning - mine is soooooo minimal at the moment it's untrue , Continuous provision plus role play & craft - my excuse is it's cause of all the newbies they're all soo unsettled still for anymore xD

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It's really sad that you are feeling like this - don't question your own ability, you must have it or you wouldn't be so concerned and committed. You're probably doing much better than you think but you clearly have high standards and don't want to let anything slip.

It's a real shame isn't it that so many people in this field are feeling under so much pressure when it should be such a lovely job.

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It's a real shame isn't it that so many people in this field are feeling under so much pressure when it should be such a lovely job.

I'll second that!

 

Some great advice already given HiA - but please be kind to yourself + a big virtual hug from me too x

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I think the question you have to ask of yourself is "is this worth it?". If no, feel no regret in leaving. The job can be tough, the pay is poor and frankly you have to weigh up whether you you are in the right role for you at this point in time. There are other options out there. Do not struggle on unless you truly feel that the job is worth it in the longer term. Might sound harsh, but actually I mean this with real compassion for you and your family...it is just a job....some things are more important.

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You all have such wonderful advice, thank you so much for the support :1b

 

I just don't know what to do! I have just had a review meeting with the team to see how it's going now we're a month in and I feel like I'm banging my head off a brick wall :rolleyes:

 

I doubt I could manage financially if I gave this up, and the hours are great, but I just don't know if I can do it. Then there's the little boy at work - I'm his 3rd key person in 12 months and I don't want to leave him high and dry either...

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I wish I could add something constructive but I think that like lots of others I am getting a little bit "battle weary".

 

This is the first term of the year and I feel a bit "jaded" - it seems to be a lot of the same old problems that we all seem to suffer

 

Ever changing paperwork

Ever increasing workload

Trying to keep staff motivated and on top of their game

Challenging families

Rubbish finances

 

and so on .....

 

Sometimes we try to take on the mantle of saints and put everyone else's needs above our own.

 

Sometimes something as simple as making a written list of pros and cons can help you work out whether keeping going is the right thing for you.

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(

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

) see this , it's one big enormous hug , 1 - see this - it's a number 1 , don't forget to look after it , 00 see these - a pair of glasses to help you look through and reflect on your true feelings and decide what's best for YOU , no one else just you , See this - you can't ? Well that's because you can't see the virtual support you have from everyone here , who have or will probably feel like you do at some time in their career.

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I've been to a network meeting today, specifically for pack away settings, it seems everyone is in the same boat.

 

We're underfunded and cant make our own income, unless its fundraising for resources, when what we really need is sustainability funding. (Although I have been able to give 2 members of staff a small pay rise today :D )

 

We have to answer to the LA, Ofsted, Charity Commission and adhere to our constitution while operating with parents who know nothing about EYFS and have less inclination to learn it during the small amount of time they're with us, before they're replaced by more who dont know and dont want to know!

 

I've felt for some time PVI settings are on their last legs, I hope I'm proved wrong but in April 2016 Birmingham Council wants us all to be paying the new version of the living wage £7.20 plus we have to put into the new pension scheme. I have absolutely no idea how we'll manage it!

 

I know we all want Outstanding or at the least Good, but dont let the aim of that rule your life, nobody gets thanked more or paid more for going above and beyond, dont wear yourself out.

 

It will all still be there tomorrow, next week, next month. :1b :1b

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After twelve years of being a totally dedicated practitioner, doing many many hours for nothing, I am seriously considering my life!! I feel like I have so many balls in the air that I am trying to juggle, sometimes I feel that is all I am doing is keeping them up in the air!! I feel that I am not able to give any part of my job 100%. I am manager, key worker and senco. I am trying to lead/train my two less experienced/younger members of staff and motivate a very lazy one. So much of everyday practice seems to fall on me even down to singing time, story time and circle time. I have also checked through key persons learning journeys today and am devastated that one child has had no obs made since May. I sat and cried when I found this out, but I am just keeping on top of my own group of learning journeys let alone anyone else's. I love the children and I love my job, but I cannot go on like this. Think it's going to be a chat with the committee to ask to be taken out of raftio some days. To add to this one of the key persons has just handed notice in to go to a day nursery full time. So we now have to try and get some one else and in our isolated rural village this is not easy.

Sorry to moanbut I just needed to vent.

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After twelve years of being a totally dedicated practitioner, doing many many hours for nothing, I am seriously considering my life!! I feel like I have so many balls in the air that I am trying to juggle, sometimes I feel that is all I am doing is keeping them up in the air!! I feel that I am not able to give any part of my job 100%. I am manager, key worker and senco. I am trying to lead/train my two less experienced/younger members of staff and motivate a very lazy one. So much of everyday practice seems to fall on me even down to singing time, story time and circle time. I have also checked through key persons learning journeys today and am devastated that one child has had no obs made since May. I sat and cried when I found this out, but I am just keeping on top of my own group of learning journeys let alone anyone else's. I love the children and I love my job, but I cannot go on like this. Think it's going to be a chat with the committee to ask to be taken out of raftio some days. To add to this one of the key persons has just handed notice in to go to a day nursery full time. So we now have to try and get some one else and in our isolated rural village this is not easy.

Sorry to moanbut I just needed to vent.

i feel so sorry for everyone that is struggling - i think we all struggle at times with the great expectations pushed on us.

we are all so undervalued by everyone - especially the government.

this is where this great forum helps - you can come on and moan and feel a bit better about it as you know others feel the same/are in the same boat as you.

i hope that all those who are feeling so disillusioned today and days to come will realise their worth - we make a very big difference to many children and that is what keeps us going.

hugs to you all (((((( )))))))

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Hi all - thought this was quite relevent -what do you think?

 

 

 

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

Remember to put the glass down.

(Courtesy of Jimmy Harmon

 

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Quote . To add to this one of the key persons has just handed notice in to go to a day nursery full time. So we now have to try and get some one else and in our isolated rural village this is not easy

 

Since returning in September I have had 3 resignations, which leaves me with 3 staff come half term. We are rural and are struggling to recruit!!

Edited by Joanne123
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Quote . To add to this one of the key persons has just handed notice in to go to a day nursery full time. So we now have to try and get some one else and in our isolated rural village this is not easy

 

Since returning in September I have had 3 resignations, which leaves me with 3 staff come half term. We are rural and are struggling to recruit!!

Goodness three resignations, one is more than enough for me to cope with!! Good luck recruiting replacements.

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Whereabouts are you, Joanne123? There may be somebody on here looking for a job?

In Norfolk, about 7 miles from Norwich. Interviewing this week, but quite frustrating at times!! But fingers crossed. Roll on half term, when hopefully it will all be sorted and can get on with the 101 other jobs which take me away from the children more and more!

Edited by Joanne123
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