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Funny Things Children Say


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wanted to share funny conversation we had today:

first we went to a well dressing, the whole village is there, the primary school, the church you know a big occasion. One of our little boys who is delightful but a handful looked at the woman from the church who was all done up in her black robes and went ' oh no look XXXXX she's a vampire' at the top of his voice. He then proceeded to have a loud conversation about how she was a vampire and would make children disappear and if she wasn't a vampire why did she have a magic robe on. My staff member was stuck between giggling and trying to get him to use a quiet voice (which is impossible he doesn't have one) he then proceeded to enlighten her on all the children she was making disappear (he has a good imagination) and started to sing to protect himself, and 'but why dont you like my song XXXXX its better than hers listen again...' in the end she sneaked him round the corner to look at the spiders web in a tree. He looked at the electric lines and started again 'look electricisity lines (phonetic spelling) look its a bird oh no why isn't it electrimificated?' They have special feet oh wow how cool lol and so on it was rather funny in the middle of this rather more austere moment.

 

second: at the lunch table one child telling me how special her mum is how special her dad is that pepper pig is in her room on her pants etc... then out of the blue 'my mummy is a cheeky monkey she has an itchy popeye (then made to scratch between her legs) it soo itchy but mine isn't how funny is my mummy?' then followed it up with 'daddy doesn't he has a different popeye his is long' and made motion of something long down to her knees ' its soo funny and boings about what a funny popeye

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  • 2 weeks later...

Looking after my niece (3) and nephew (7) this morning - we were playing ninjas. We'd stopped for a strategy meeting ;) and my niece said "We are the goodies and you can be the baddy." fine by me so I replied "OK, I'll be the best baddy ever!" at which I got a 'look' and "No, you can be a caterpillar!" Always good to know your place I feel!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Before reading this it probably helps to know that I work in a church school so there is often mention of Biblical things. Anyway, today we were just setting off for Collective Worship in the church when one of my little ones asks "Are we going to have a story from Jesus's reading book?" He meant the Bible but I think I like his version better!

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had to giggle today....we have a little chap with communication difficulties who has recently started to use Makaton. We were putting up a new frame for the plastic greenhouse and he was trying to swing from the bars....I asked him to come out ...he looked up at me and signed " more" "in" with a big grin on his face! ........Cheeky monkey!!!!!

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One of our girls was worried who would be in charge in my absence whilst I was on holiday , on my return I asked if the said member of staff did a good job ' no ' she replied ' oh really why not ? ' I asked , ' well she said she let us all escape ! ' I put on my oh no , shock horror expression and she said ' only joking ! '

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One of our girls was worried who would be in charge in my absence whilst I was on holiday , on my return I asked if the said member of staff did a good job ' no ' she replied ' oh really why not ? ' I asked , ' well she said she let us all escape ! ' I put on my oh no , shock horror expression and she said ' only joking ! '

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Ok - this is not a child BUT ....

 

On Monday our duck eggs arrived for a two week hatching experience for the children and our first duckling hatched out.

 

We "share" this experience with the children's parents by having a grown up to school week to coincide with this.

 

Today parents were in and two more ducklings hatched.

 

All very lovely :1b

 

One mum queried the whereabouts of the ducklings' mother so my deputy tells her that she is being the ducklings' mother whilst they are with us (the ducklings are very cute and everyone wants to be their mother).

 

The mum looks at my deputy and says "What about the milk" :wacko: :wacko: :wacko:

My deputy looked at her not quite sure whether she was serious or not and "gently" explained that ducklings don't suckle !!!!

We are now on the hunt for a mother duck with udders xDxDxDxDxDxD

Bless her heart the mum concerned did laugh with us at her faux pas :D

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DOH!

 

I had one from a mum a good few years back when we used to 'do colours'. So we had a colour of the week, encouraging parents to hell their child to bring things in from home to make a display. Diwali fell in the middle of this theme, so on the display board it had the colours of the rainbow listed with the appropriate dates, and between yellow and green we set aside a week for Diwali activities. One mum asked my deputy 'what colour is Diwali?'

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Oh she's not the worst we've had - many years ago the children made grass hedgehogs - you know the thing bits of tights stuffed with grass seed etc. So as they could be easily transported home we gave them out telling parents that they would need a to be popped on a saucer of water when they got home to get them started so one parent asked what should she water them with :blink:

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Today one of my children asked if I could open the corridor door so he could put his picture in his chicken box, he meant pigeon hole!!!

Think I prefer his version.

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  • 1 month later...

Have just read my nine year old granddaughter's school report (it's very good - one proud nana here).........so there is a section for 'the child's view' - all good....

 

Under 'What I would like to become' - she has written........'a comedian' xDxDxD

 

Reckon she's well on her way then!

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Have just read my nine year old granddaughter's school report (it's very good - one proud nana here).........so there is a section for 'the child's view' - all good....

 

Under 'What I would like to become' - she has written........'a comedian' xDxDxD

Reckon she's well on her way then!

Gets it from her Nana I suppose. My grand daughter wants to be a tooth fairy :wacko:

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  • 4 weeks later...
Me and my friend were chatting while her girls were playing. She said "you need to be next to have a baby" so I replied "yes I would need ivf to have a baby". Anyway, we carried on chatting about different things and then went out for lunch.


When we arrived we bumped in to some other friends and my friends 4 year old said "hey listen, Karla needs to get ppi so she can have a baby then, isn't that great!"


We all burst out laughing and so I had to explain the conversation we had when we thought that little ears were not listening :D

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My granddaughter aged three told me (little nanny) that's her great grandma over from Cyprus where she lives is cold, I explained it's probably because she has come from a very hot country to which the reply was " no it's because she is old".

Out of the mouth of babes.:):):)

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My niece and nephew are staying with granny and grandpa at the moment. Yesterday my mum brushed my niece's hair (thick, brown and wavy). Afterward she pulled the loose hair out the brush to put in the bin. My niece (3) took it to give to grandpa as a present... "Because he hasn't got any!"

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Telling my class the story of the Three Little Pigs (out of my head rather than a book) today. I had just reached the point where the wolf had gobbled the second little pig with "one snap of his jaw" when one wide-eyed little boy said "What would mummy bear think?!"

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Telling my class the story of the Three Little Pigs (out of my head rather than a book) today. I had just reached the point where the wolf had gobbled the second little pig with "one snap of his jaw" when one wide-eyed little boy said "What would mummy bear think?!"

I meant mummy pig!! It was still very sweet to see his look of horror though! The same little boy told me today that he would find the tree we were looking for as "you know I have scanning eyes!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

We have been practising songs for our harvest service tomorrow. One of them has the lines:

 

Praise to the one who made our bodies

Praise to the one who gives us life.

 

Except according to some of my class the second line is

 

Praise to the one who gives us lice!

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My 4 year old Grandson made me smile, I was walking him to school for his first full day. He said "Nanny I don't want to do PE", I asked him why, he-replied " because my clothes don't listen to me, so they go on wrong". Bless him. My reply was if you keep doing it they will soon learn, just like your learning to do things in big school.

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Discussing stranger danger with my 8/9 year old Before School Club

 

Me: What would you do if a stranger approached you and tried to get you in their car

Little girl: Stop, drop and roll

Me: once I regained the ability to speak after laughing - no dear, that's if you're on fire

 

More stranger danger talks needed at their school I think, haha!

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  • 1 month later...

'tis the season...

We had our first RE lesson about the nativity today. Afterwards my Y1s were sequencing pictures to tell the story and then writing sentences/drawing faces to explain how different characters were feeling. In response to a picture of Mary and Joseph with the donkey on the way to Bethlehem, he said "I think Mary is feeling sad because she doesn't think she'll make it in time."

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