Furious!

[finleysmaid]

I have just come home to find a complaint from ofsted on my desk! A parent has suggested that i sent his child outside when there were ants....that we sent her home when she wasn't unwell (she was!) and that we sent her home with sunstroke (which we did not!)

AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH for 16 years my complaints log has been empty and this BEEEEPPPPP has blemished my record over some inaccurate and made up story....how can people live with themselves!

[Fredbear]

Oh my goodness Finleysmaid that is dreadful.

This has got to stop as it makes a farce of the genuine cases.

Sending you hugs:)x

[Cait]

Oh my goodness! How awful.

 

I suppose you start by writing down all these incidents from your perspective, and tomorrow look at where you logged the send home and anything else you might have.

 

Keep calm, and don't stress about it, you haven't done anything wrong so you have truth on your side.

 

I imagine that this child is no longer with you, if the parent has continued bringing their child in since the date of the first 'issue' then they haven't a leg to stand on in my book!

Edited July 9, 2014 by Cait

[Panders]

Oh Finleysmaid, I feel your pain. I have a parent at the moment whom I fear will make an unfounded complaint at some point. EverydaY there appears to be something else she stops me to tell me about and I am getting very weary with it all. Some people just can't help themselves in living out some drama or other.

 

Your superb record and setting will beat this complaint without doubt, but what a shame to have to go through it all to prove it. I do hope it is resolved quickly.

[SueJ]

Sorry to read your post Finleysmaid - hope it all gets cleared up and quickly - truly there must be a better system than this - like Cait has said presumably the child is no longer with you - if the child is then the validity of the parent complaint must surely be viewed by Ofsted as somewhat scurrilous

[finleysmaid]

Thanks all just had to offload...I have written about this parent before with his previous child (yes and he chose to send his second one to us!) he is impossible. He upset his other daughters keyworker so much i had to remove her from key caring for her.

(he is now giving the local school as much hassle)

His daughter is still attending our setting Cait...it was her birthday today and he brought in treats for the children! (hope they weren't poisoned!)

Seriously thinking that i might suggest that if he is that concerned that he removes her now and doesn't return

[hopeytg]

It is so difficult, we have had 2 unfounded complaints in the last 2 yrs and children were still in the setting. I did suggest to one parent that 'our setting was obviously not meeting her needs so she should perhaps consider withdrawing her child' - she went mad! But I think I made my point.

Chin up and stay strong x

[eyfs1966]

thank goodness I have never been in this position, but I have to wonder has the world gone mad? Why do parents now seem to feel "obliged" to involve Ofsted rather than follow a standard complaints procedure? I KNOW they have the RIGHT to go to ofsted, but they are not REQUIRED to. Surely a face to face discussion between parent and provider has to be the better way in the first instance?

[HappyMaz]

Oh dear finleysmaid. What an absolute pain in the rear. Let me know if there's anything I can do (even just to provide a listening ear who isn't connected to your setting).

Take care. :wub:

Mx

[finleysmaid]

thank goodness I have never been in this position, but I have to wonder has the world gone mad? Why do parents now seem to feel "obliged" to involve Ofsted rather than follow a standard complaints procedure? I KNOW they have the RIGHT to go to ofsted, but they are not REQUIRED to. Surely a face to face discussion between parent and provider has to be the better way in the first instance?

I have spent many hours with this family! I have dealt with all of the above issue as they have arisen....he has been happy with my answers and i felt they were resolved. We have a full written complaints procedure which sits on the front desk permanently..he has chosen not to follow any of the procedure but go straight from me to ofsted. I will have to face him again today and i only hope i can keep my cool. There are lots of problems in the family and i have been empathetic to all of them but feel i am now being used as a scapegoat for him to offload

warning to all.... practise what you preach....i should have recorded much more of the evidence on the way round and ensured that i had a witness at EVERY meeting. I WILL LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES! (got to try and get something positive out of this )

[finleysmaid]

Oh dear finleysmaid. What an absolute pain in the rear. Let me know if there's anything I can do (even just to provide a listening ear who isn't connected to your setting).

Take care. :wub:

Mx

Thanks Maz i'll pm later!

[sunnyday]

Oh Fm - unbelievable - so very sorry to read your post - chin up - don't let the ******** grind you down...........oooh furious on your behalf!!!

[HappyMaz]

warning to all.... practise what you preach....i should have recorded much more of the evidence on the way round and ensured that i had a witness at EVERY meeting. I WILL LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES! (got to try and get something positive out of this )

I learned this lesson the hard way - even though the complaint against me was not upheld, I would have been much better had I documented everything in minute detail. So now I would cross every t and dot every i. Well done for thinking positively (of course I haven't read down to any post you might have made after seeing the parent today!

[hali]

ohh I am so sorry - but as you say lessons will be learned from it - plod on hun xxxxxxxxxx :rolleyes:

[finleysmaid]

update...asked parent to speak to me ...he refused as he was apparently parked on a double yellow line! daughter still in!

[sunnyday]

update...asked parent to speak to me ...he refused as he was apparently parked on a double yellow line! daughter still in!

:angry: grrrrrrrrrrr

[zigzag]

Oh poor you, what a nightmare. It's all just a complete joke isn't it!! Keep your chin up and hope it all gets resolved quickly. Thanks for the advice about documenting everything, I have already planned to buy a big daily diary for September and EVERYTHING is going in it!! Let us know how everything is going.

[finleysmaid]

Whilst having a bath tonight have decided i need to aim for conflict resolution...ie what does he want out of this situation?

[dreamgirl]

I am in a school nursery. I think if this happened to me and I knew he was lying, I would call in the big guns....head teacher, chair of governors, union rep and have a meeting with him, asking him to document all his concerns, evidence, dates, times, to back up his allegation. Then when it was clear to all it was unfounded I would get my head to say if you would like to pursue it, let's go to court!!!!!! Or words to that effect!!!! Sue him for defamation of character, libel, slander ....going a bit OTT now, aren't I!

[dreamgirl]

If there are lots of issues in the family, maybe you could suggest he needs some support...........from social services. Perhaps he would like you to contact SS to get a social worker involved......to help him. Bet that would frighten him off.

[finleysmaid]

If there are lots of issues in the family, maybe you could suggest he needs some support...........from social services. Perhaps he would like you to contact SS to get a social worker involved......to help him. Bet that would frighten him off.

It's sad really i'd like to help but he just won't let me past the attitude stage! Have to face him again today. I asked him to email me confirmation that he was going to come in today...he has not. I now have meetings all day. He has to control everything....very difficult

[Cait]

It must be tempting to send an email to the effect of 'I assume that following your allegations to Ofsted recently that you are removing Simon as of the end of the school year. Could you please confirm this without delay to enable me to collect together the necessary transfer paperwork. Could you please also inform me as to where he is transferring, so that I can ensure that the necessary paperwork is with them as soon as possible. I remain, yours respectfully .....'

[Inge]

sorry to hear this, does give you a shake up and make you question everything you do.. did me..

I cannot remember how often the staff said to me must I write this down, it is only a chat about xxxx, or why 2 of us around, one was always in hearing if not fully present when chatting to parents.. and anything that sounded like a complaint we asked if they would like to fill in a complaints form .. if they said no then we would record that... worked in our favour more than once..

We also found that the fact the parent keeps the child with you goes against them.. one thing Ofsted always asked was is the child still with us.. with the comment if it was so bad they would remove the child before complaining to them.

he is probably avoiding you , any who complained with us spent a lot of effort not to have a meeting and eye contact was nil! took ages to get that meeting sorted for some.. yes happened more than once to us.. it never got any easier, but we had the drill down and knew exactly what was needed and all was always recorded and witnessed. .

as cait has said it must be tempting to have that conversation about if we are not right for your child time for them to leave..

not long now til end of term..

[bubblejack]

That is brilliant Cait can I keep your wise words for future reference please

[finleysmaid]

well guess what he didn't ring or email and didn't turn up with his child so i went to my meeting...he then turned up at 1.50! was actually apologetic to my deputy! So now meeting on monday!

Good idea cait but the child is moving on to school (where im sure i will continue to see them!!) i am however considering adding a bit on to my policies to say that if a complaint has been made about the service then it may not be appropriate for all parties to continue that relationship (or something to that effect!)

[Cait]

Have you got a notice up that tells parents how to complain, or a pile of 'compliments and complaints' forms?

[finleysmaid]

Have you got a notice up that tells parents how to complain, or a pile of 'compliments and complaints' forms?

The policy folder is available all the time (in the middle of the table in reception) parents are told about it and have the info in their handbooks etc two stars and a wish form available on a regular basis (dont leave them out all the time or the children use them for scribbling paper !) but things like this should always make you rethink...so will have a chat with the team on monday and see what they think...i suspect in this case there would be nothing that i could have done to stop this situation

[lashes2508]

How awful FM , it saddens me that the parents you give so much support to , fail to acknowledge it and be decent enough to take their complaint directly to you. It seems that this parent is a bit of an attention seeker and may have called Ofsted to give himself control over a situation he has embroidered rather than deal with the true facts which he would have had from you.

Keep your chin up and your armour shining , xxx

[Upsy Daisy]

i am however considering adding a bit on to my policies to say that if a complaint has been made about the service then it may not be appropriate for all parties to continue that relationship (or something to that effect!)

Tempting though that might be, I think that suggesting that making a complaint might result in you being asked to remove your child from the setting could be seen in quite a negative light.

As practitioners I think we need to demonstrate that we're prepared to reflect on genuine complaints and making changes as a result.

I am trying to imagine what goes through an Ofsted inspector's head when reading a complaint about a setting taking a child where there are ants! I think, alongside the fact that the child is with you, it's a pretty good indicator that the complaint is a load of old cobblers.

 

My guess about what the parent wants would be that he wants to be able to lay down to law and you and the school will comply for fear of further complaints. I don't think he's going to get what he wants from this process even if you try to compromise.