Fredbear Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 Here's one that a liitle boy told his mummy. When Auntie Lynn gets smaller, i can go to her house to play and she can come to mine, oh bless him, if only i could shrink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upsy Daisy Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 A child in my care has just had a bout of scarlet fever which was mis-diagnosed at first as a reaction to strawberries. He's just come to me in the kitchen with a very serious face and said; "Upsy Daisy, I'm not allergic to strawberries and more. They didn't give me my itches. I'm allergic to garlic fever. That's what gave me my itches so can you make sure you don't give me any garlic fever." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MaryEMac Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 My grandaughter aged 5 was looking at some flash cards with her dad. He held up the card with scissors on it. She sounded out the letters and then said, "stegasaurus, daddy ?" Bless her. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gezabel Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Still smiling by a comment made yesterday but it's a little bit of one of those 'you had to be there' but anyway here goes: In our play house we have a cooker with 'working' hotplates. One makes a sizzling noise and is operated by pressure of a saucepan. We are used to hearing this sizzling noise but it is usually quite shorlived, children put a pan on and soon take it off again. Yesterday the noise was going on and on and on.... and then I realised there were no children in the playhouse! I went over and moved the pan as there weren't any children even near the house. Almost immediately from the other side of the room came a voice "Oi! that's my cooking!" Thinking fast I replied "I'm sorry I thought it was cooked" NO! came the reply "it's not ready yet" then one sheepish me well and truly put in my place and I returned the pan to the hotplate for some more sizzling! By the way guess what was in the pan? .... a bunch of grapes, some peas and a fried egg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Haha - funny you should resurrect this thread - I have one to add from today. Lucy was painting a picture of her Dad and I was sitting alongside chatting about what she was doing, along the lines of "What colour jumper is he going to have?" So she's painting away and decides she's going to give him some blue trousers, and adds two sticks coming out of the bottom of his jumper. I agree with her that it looks good and when she asks if I think it needs anything else I suggest that she could do a bit of body showing under the jumper so his legs joined on to something. (If you know what I mean) She looked round and said "He's got a willy too!" A bit taken aback I just said "Yes, I know, but we don't need to paint it really" and she said "How do you know he's got one - have you seen it?" er.... no..... (Quick word with Mum when she picked her up!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gezabel Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Brilliant! Reminds me of the story when a little boy saw daddy naked in the bathroom and 'complimented' him on the size of his willy. Dad took the opportunity to explain that like other body parts a willy got bigger as you got older and the little boy (after thinking) said 'mmm, well Grandad must be VERY old! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jenpercy Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 8 year old being read a story by 80 year old Christian Granny. comes to a word "fart" which Granny can't bring herself to say. "Let's just call it the F-word2 clear as a bell comes the responce "Mummy, Granny doesn't know that the f-word isn't fart, it's ..........." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Continuing the 'willy' theme........ Years ago one of my little girls on spotting a little boy using the toilet said "oh my daddy's got a big orange one of those"! I could never look at her dad without thinking about that! Orange? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueJ Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Our foundation stage xfer documents have a page for the children to do a picture and a bit of "writing" about themselves. We are only allowed to annotate what they want us to say. One little girl drew a picture of herself with a pencil and a swirly bit in the middle of her tummy. She then proudly announced that this was her "fa ***ny". Her keyperson said she would rather resign than annotate THAT particular comment. I thought we could get mum and dad (both great sports) to take out a second mortgage for us to keep schtum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanne Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 One of our new little boys was pushing trucks along the floor, happily chatting to himself. Another teacher said to me, 'Did he say f..k?!' I listened, and said 'Boy'sname, is that your fire truck?' He happily agreed and showed me a 'chuck' and a 'f..k' - a truck and a fire truck! (We didn't see it as a fire engine, but he did.) Will have to suggest to mummy she might want to refer to fire engines instead! I had the same thing with younger son when my American father-in-law gave him a fire engine... let's just say it didn't come to church with us... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 had to giggle today - little girl who's just started speaks urdu and english - we were looking at the nursery rhyme poster and she was asking me what things were, i turned the tables on her and started asking her questions whats this?....birdie she said, whats this? butterfly...whats this pointing to a picture of a rather large humpty dumpty - Daddy! she replied proudly ......i haven't met dad yet but if he looks round and bald i may find myself going to hide in the corner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 My nephew has just started at my preschool and is learning the routines etc. Tonight he came round to my house and when he was asked why he hadn't taken his coat off he said "I can't find my peg to hang it up". I'm thinking of making him a coat peg label for home now and putting it by the door handle where his coat always gets put! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 i know there will be lots like this over the next few weeks but i thought i'd start the ball rolling Imagine the scene......... On his way home today from pre-school with a friend and her daughter who has been cast as Mary in their Nativity. Helena (the Mother) "what are you going to be in the Nativity Sammy?" "A shepherd" "Are you sure Sam?" (the older kids are generally cast in more prominent roles!) "Yes" says Sam. "Who is going to be Joseph then?" Sam: "I don't know. That's Gods problem". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickylear Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 We have been practicing our Nativity play. After singing 'skipping along to Bethlehem to see the baby Jesus". One little girl said..... can I go with Bethany Hem to see the baby Jesus? Arrrr Bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 Just spotted this thread and sort of in the same vein...... I was sent to barnsley, where I think you have to be born to understand the dialect and accent, for a days supply teaching and the class in question were writing a couple of sentences about themselves. One lad put his hand up and asked, "How do spell thur?". "Sorry, could you ask me again?" " How do spell thur?" . Obviously a different approach was called for so, "What are you trying to write in your sentence?" "I've got two brothers and thur names are ........" "Oh, that thur......." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 reading the Christmas story with my reception class 'Mary and Joseph were going to Bethlehem to pay their taxes. What does 'taxes' mean do you think'? Star pupil thought long and hard - 'you need one sometimes to get back from town when you miss the bus'! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froglet Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 One of my children told me today that he didn't come to school yesterday "because of the lizard". Creates a lovely mental picture doesn't it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanne Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Aah, bless! Reading a book about Carrying with a little girl yesterday and saw a picture of a baby/toddler being carried, so I said mummy and daddy carry baby Clare (her baby sister). She says, 'When I was baby Clare, mummy and daddy carried me.' 'When you were a baby like baby Clare, mummy and daddy carried you?' I say. 'No,' she says, 'when I was baby Clare they carried me.' Cue attempt at convincing her that she was baby Bella and yes she had been a baby like baby Clare, but had always been baby Bella! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) Yesterday we were looking at an illustrated globe to see where the polar bears live (at the top where the little picture of a polar bear is) Conversation later in the afternoon as R had studied the globe on his own: R "Mrs Lee, Mrs Lee " in a loud excited voice "its God" points at globe Me: "Good thnking R but I believe thats the statue of Liberty!" Well it made me smile God must be female! Edited January 11, 2011 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Today I was trying to convince a little girl to say "Please" rather than "Pea" that she generally says. "Please" "Pea" "Please" "Pea" "Please" "Pea" "Please" "Pea" "Please" "Pea" it went on, until eventually she handed me her yoghurt and said "You just open it, I can't say please" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verona Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 The other day I was playing Kims game with a group of children and one of them hadn't played it before. I explained the game and we talked about the things on the tray - I covered the items with a tea towel and when he looked away I took a wooden cow off the tray. When I asked him what was missing he said "the tea towel!!!!!!!" He wasn't wrong was he? Today when two boys were arguing about who was going to be the clown, I said they could both be clowns but one little chap said "no, there can only be one and that's me" I said, "perhaps you can take it in turns then". Whereupon, with meaning, the first little boy said to his friend "no, I'll be the clown and you can be the drama queen" The other little boy said "OK" - I don't know whether he knew exactly what or who he was but he was happy!! Sue J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klc106 Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 yesterday, we were talking to our 4-5 year olds about why we celebrate pancake day and then lent afterwards. Later on, we asked the children what happens after pancake day? one child said: "We get a week off school" We thought his idea was much better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verona Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I had just bent over to pick something up and i heard a little voice behind me say "Mrs J, you look really big". Trying not to be upset at the comment, i turned round to see who was saying such a thing about my rear end, and there was a little boy peering at me through a magnifying glass!!! I felt a little better seeing him with that particular piece of equipment!!! Sue J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I was setting up my toy to go home each night so that the children take turns in taking responsibility and writ a little bit about what they do with her in the diary, so was trying to clarify what a diary is. The rather embarressed contribution from a child (aged 4) 'It's when my poo melts'. We do have a lot of tummy upsets just now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Last autumn I was was helping a child settle into nursery. She came up to me with a lump of playdough on a plate and said excitedly: 'Look Andy I've made a birthday cake!' 'Great ! ' I replied and trying to extend the play said'It looks delicious, can I have a slice?' 'Don't be silly Andy, it's only playdough' came the response. Mum who was watching the encounter collapsed in hysterics. This only bettered by my step-daughter many years ago in response to a relative enthusing over her new shoes: 'They look great, what size are they?' 'The size that fits me of course!' Nothing like small children for making you feel small yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 The other day at story time I was reading Handa's surprise. I asked the children what fruits were in the basket and they were taking turns naming them. I pointed at the picture and asked what is it? D said 'a narna', E sang 'What's my name?' Yesterday we had bananas for snack, guess what song we were singing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mps09 Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 The other day I was playing Kims game with a group of children and one of them hadn't played it before. I explained the game and we talked about the things on the tray - I covered the items with a tea towel and when he looked away I took a wooden cow off the tray. When I asked him what was missing he said "the tea towel!!!!!!!" He wasn't wrong was he? It's not just children you know....... A few years ago, I worked with - now let's just say Sarah, Jane* not real names and a girl called Kim. One day I suggested that it would be nice to play Kim's game with the children. 20 minutes later Sarah and Jane were still having a discussion trying to remember what game it was that Kim plays! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Many years ago a little girl informed me that she had a baby in her tummy. "Really?! ... Have you told Mummy?" I asked. "Yes, she's going to take me to the dentist." ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I have a few...I forgot so many of the funny things but these really stick in my head. Lining up for lunch one child says: Im a vegetarian. Another replies: REALLY!!! IM A SAGGITARIUS! A few of my current girls regularly tell me they went to 'first fade' at lunch time. A little boy tells me that babies come out of mummy's bottoms. Today we are talking about animals being extinct. A little boy says 'stinkt?' 'stinkt' - did someone make them smell? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spiral Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 We had a lovely little boy who was fixated on Ben 10. He told me that Ben 10 was amazing and had super power just like the washing machine. I must admit it took me a moment to connect super power with super powder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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