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Funny Things Children Say


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Posted (edited)

Ok. One more.

Year 3 class discussing shortened words and acronyms. We'd had things like 'TA' (Teaching Assistant not Territorial Army!)) and 'CD' and talked about that, then I asked them if they knew what an LP was. Boy piped up - "Is it like an MP only more important?"

 

 

...Just had a thought...I bet half of you lot are too young to know what an LP is as well!!!!

Edited by JJA
  • Like 3
Posted

I've already started "collecting" ideas in the diary for that time later in the year! Do you get your dad to do the you know what at school Froglet?

 

No, but he has been in to help out occasionally - just told them that it was Santa on holiday! ;)

  • Like 2
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

Not exactly funny but very sweet and I wanted to share. My (now 8!) nephew said to his mum today:

 

"Being shy is like having a secret, special person inside that no one else knows about."

 

He is shy and tends to lack much self-esteem but I think this is such an insightful thing to say.

  • Like 4
Posted

a slightly less poignant one for this morning

Child....oh look at that bird

Me ....oh yes it's a kite

Child looking puzzled ...NO it's not it's a bird!

 

(inevitable answer really)

  • Like 4
Posted

Family gathering yesterday - my grandaughter now aged 10 was really looking forward to seeing some of her distant cousins - she asked

 

"will Goliath be there"?

 

Lots of head scratching - finally we realised that she meant a little girl named 'Blythe'

 

:lol: she will always be Goliath to me now!

Posted

Family gathering yesterday - my grandaughter now aged 10 was really looking forward to seeing some of her distant cousins - she asked

 

"will Goliath be there"?

 

Lots of head scratching - finally we realised that she meant a little girl named 'Blythe'

 

:lol: she will always be Goliath to me now!

 

By happy chance is there a David in the family so that you can announce nonchalantly that 'David and Goliath are coming for tea this weekend.'?!

  • Like 1
Posted

A 4 year old shouted at me today that I was a Horrible Girl, for daring to tell him we don't smack our friends!

 

Horrible girl.

Horrible girl.

Horrible girl was heard for ages around the hall

  • 1 month later...
Posted

My niece and nephew are staying with me at the moment and she's just helped herself to an apple. After a couple of nibbles she asked if I could cut it up for her. "Make sure you get the nits out Aunty Helen!"

  • Like 5
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Last week I was asked "Why are you not a dolphin?"

 

I've also had "How do you kiss a turtle?"

 

During a discussion about colour mixing: "What do you get if you mix blue and conkers?"

 

And the child who couldn't pronounce "Thank you". Every time you gave him something he would reply "F%@k you"

Posted

We had one this week:

2 year old boy in the toilet getting changed with a member of staff whilst a 2 year old girl is sat on the toilet.

Boy 'I got a willy'

Girl ' I got a willy too'

Boy 'no you no got willy'

Girl in a very patronizing tone 'yes I do they're on my feet' gestures at welly boots.

Queue member of staff in fits of giggles!

  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...
Posted

Some of the boys were pretending to drink beer at the party today and I just happened to say that I could only have a half glass of wine last night because I had to collect my son from rugby in the car. One of the children asked but why and before I could speak another child piped up, "because it might spill!" Out of the mouths of babes eh!

P.s. Alcohol is not a usual topic of conversation around our snack table, but it is Christmas!!

  • Like 3
  • 1 month later...
Posted

Looking through Learning Journey folders with children this morning - one of four year olds, a very bright little girl said

 

"I remember everything because my brain stores pictures"

  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Just had to share this with you.......

 

This morning we have been making 'Gloop' - later in the session I asked the children if they could remember what we had used

 

H: cornflour

 

E: water

 

M: food drawing!

 

Love it :lol:

  • Like 3
Posted

Looking through Learning Journey folders with children this morning - one of four year olds, a very bright little girl said

 

"I remember everything because my brain stores pictures"

Oddly enough, one of my own children has always done this. She flew through exams too, because she could actually visualise the lesson where she had learnt the fact.........................weird child........she didn't get it from me!! :)

Posted

At the weekend my niece (age 4) tells me that when I am dressed I need to go into her room and she will "make me pretty".

 

I duly go to her room and sit on the bed, she stands behind me and starts to brush my hair...

 

A: Aunty Froglet, you've got grey in your hair.

Me: I know - it was there last time you brushed it.

A: But there's big lumps now!

 

She then gets out a magnifying glass...

Me: What are you doing?

A: Looking for nits.

Me: Did you find any?

A: Yes, a really big one! Now, Aunty Froglet I need to put some stinging nettle spray on it to kill the nit. It will sting but don't worry, I am here but it will sting!!

 

She does also announce though that she's going to give me a 'big squish' when she flings her arms round me and hugs as hard as she can, squeezing tighter and tighter - I can easily forgive nits and grey hair (one of those is true ;) !)

  • Like 2
Posted

Family gathering yesterday - my grandaughter now aged 10 was really looking forward to seeing some of her distant cousins - she asked

 

"will Goliath be there"?

 

Lots of head scratching - finally we realised that she meant a little girl named 'Blythe'

 

:lol: she will always be Goliath to me now!

This reminded me of my own 3/4yr old (eons ago) coming home from playgroup telling me he "played with tractor" ...cringing at the poor grammar I asked did you play with "a tractor" or "some tractors" His reply "one tractor, he's a new boy"....turned out his name was Diggory ...easy mistake to make :-/

  • Like 3
  • 1 month later...
Posted

Asking a child today why she loved her Mummy so it could be written in the Mother's Day card, she replied; "because she is having a baby brother" (Mum due any day now) ahh, I thought, how sweet. Child then went on to say "but I love my Daddy best". Awkward!!!

  • Like 1
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

My niece and nephew are having a sleepover with Granny and Grandpa at the moment. Granny and grandpa have a new house with a field at the bottom of the garden which some pregnant cows have just been moved into. My niece....

 

"Look granny, I think the cows are going over there to lay their babies."

 

She has got granny and grandpa well and truly organised - she was telling them that she had a "really good idea!" "We could go and get some little eggs and hide them in the garden and have a practice egg hunt!"

 

She was a little sad when her mummy went home after dropping them off but her big brother took her hand to walk down the garden and said "It's ok, I'm here." It was so lovely.

  • Like 6
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Apologies for mentioning my niece and nephew again but I do love them very much (and they are generally sweet/hilarious!). It was my niece's birthday party this weekend and afterwards her big brother was a little down for all sorts of reasons. When we got home he took himself off for some quiet time. My niece nodded and said,

 

"I think he is a little bit nervous because I got lots of presents. I was nervous on his birthday".

 

Later that even she decided we were going on a trek the next day so she got ready. A small back pack got packed with some paper and colouring pencils, some tissues, a box with sandwiches, a bottle filled with water and a hastily drawn map showing the route from home to the pub! Then she started to get her clothes ready - lying them all out near the backpack....

 

"I need warm trousers, a warm top, a warm jumper, warm socks and some cosy knickers!"

Edited by Froglet
  • Like 6

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