Give me strength!

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

First baby (after 15 years of trying) two weeks old- lost weight HV said "keep at it with the breast feeding". Me "he still won't feed properly" same conversation continues until he is eight weeks old and seriously underweight. My mum died a long time ago so no one to get advice from and getting in a right old tizz. Mother in law gets cross (she's a retired midwife) and says STOP ! Bottle feeding starts and my beautiful baby starts to thrive.

That was 13 years ago.

Last year real problems with my great niece not feeding, in obvious pain and HV presses my niece to continue with the breastfeeding. (Note: niece is a neonatal intensive care nurse) at six months we support her to stop breastfeeding and some months later we discover after tests that baby has a severe dairy allergy and can only be fed neocate now. My niece is really angry with herself now that she allowed herself to be pressurised as her gut instinct told her there was something wrong and continually taking her to the doctors. My great niece now smiles and plays neither of which we saw untl recently.

 

How can these health visitors have so much power over us. I remember how insecure I felt as a new mother and thought she must be right and my instinct must be wrong.

[narnia]

I had a 4 year old today who demanded to use the potty when his mum arrived. I said ( admittedly before brain was fully in gear), you've been using the toilet all day, do you really need the potty? His mum snarled at me..........'if he wants the potty, he can have the potty'........so i quietly said, yes, of course he can, but there won't be a potty at school you know. Her response..................ok, so they can choose...........get him a potty or let him p**s his pants; their choice, they have to let him have what he wants. MY response? Good luck with that one! But honestly, why do some parents get like that? She knows perfectly well that he can use the toilet really well, but sometimes when she appears, he wants the pot.....she either then walks off and leaves it full, or allows him to empty it into the loo and his aim is not great, so, pee all over the loo and then the floor. I have invited her to clean it up, but I usually get, 'sorry, I'm in a hurry.....got to go !...............so, today, I have declared us a pot-free zone. I have chucked the pot into the recycling plastics bin. We have a 'family toilet seat' on the loos anyway, so those who are ready to train can cut out the middle man and use the loo!

[Rea]

I hate potties, a step and a small loo seat is far more than I had, I can remember always sitting sideways so I could cling hold of the basin

[Fredbear]

I feel yor pain Narnia.

Had the same parent(s) late twice this week. Up to now I have resisted the implementation of a late fee, but enough is enough.

[Rea]

First baby (after 15 years of trying)

So glad things worked out for you, that can only have been such an emotionally draining time for you.

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

Thanks Rea, my sister is a practice nurse at our GPs and she did the test along with the head pharmacist. I think they both cried more than me. She came to see me and said "my sister's having a baby" it was a wonderful day and I'm even crying now as I type this and it was almost 14 years ago. Poor bloke plastering our lounge walls was rather taken aback when I dashed home to tell my husband - he did get champagne though which my sister brought round.

We spent £12,000 the year before on IVF and were saving for the next go. I was a medical librarian at the time and read some research done in America, discussed it with my mother in law and took the (over the counter) drugs mentioned in a safe dose for 6 weeks and got pregnant. No precautions after the first one and three years later did the same again and 6 weeks later was pregnant again.

 

I lost a lot of friends over that time as I couldn't bring myself to even talk to them. Fantastic (2nd)husband helped me through. First one left me for his secretary day before first ever treatment began. Always said he was "going to take the best years of my life and leave me at 30" and flippin unbelievable -he did! I can laugh about it now. Good riddance.

2nd husband was a single parent to a four year old son whom I adopted. I am very very blessed with my three wonderful boys.

[Rea]

The Ups and downs of life Sn0wdr0p. Very glad you can laugh

[zigzag]

sn0wdr0p So glad you got your happy ending and I bet you are the most amazing Mum. Just looking at the time of your post, are you an insomniac?? :blink:

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

Been off work since February and going back on Monday so my brain is working overtime - I have got so many ideas and changes I want to implement so sleep was impossible last night AND I gave in last week to years of nagging from the boys and we bought them a Leopard Gecko for Easter. At 2am when I considered going to bed it finally appeared and even though I am not an animal lover I was rather fascinated so stayed up even longer. Why do I always give in? My theory is that I will not have any animals that can run faster than me - I bought a giant african landsnail for the nursery at the same time. What's even worse is that it eats live crickets !They are nagging for a tarantula and that will NEVER happen.

[Rea]

Every child should have a pet, its usually their first experience of death

[finleysmaid]

Every child should have a pet, its usually their first experience of death

oh what a happy post rea!

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

Oh Rea you do make me laugh.

[Inge]

Every child should have a pet, its usually their first experience of death

That is exactly what my mum used to say... so she bought my son 2 guinea pigs knowing they had a short lifespan.. must say it did really help him understand..

[Rea]

That is exactly what my mum used to say... so she bought my son 2 guinea pigs knowing they had a short lifespan.. must say it did really help him understand..

Yeah, see, so there

[Rea]

Oh Rea you do make me laugh.

I dont mean to, honestly but I kind of see a pattern

[Panders]

Every child should have a pet, its usually their first experience of death

I agree Rea, that's what I said when we got the cat. Bless her she is 16 now! Should have got hamsters or mice I think!

[Rea]

Our cats were there way before the lads so we got them fish (I killed them) a hamster (I was glad that died) then over time nan, the cats. great grandma, great aunt & great uncle died to be replaced by other cats and the ferrets.

Now, the lads are grown the animals are for me, substitute grand children to love and spoil but I also get to lock them away! :rolleyes:

[Sharky]

And I take my guinea pigs to pre-school with me so the children learn empathy for living creatures, what they need to flourish and eventually what happens when they die. Good excuse for an elderly lady having guinea pigs!

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

I had a staff member who took three days off last year because her dog died and she was too upset to come into work!!

 

I bought Guinea Pigs for the nursery a couple of years ago and they had a fight and one was bitten on the ear which apparently is quite vascular. Staff phoned me at home to come in immediately as there was 'blood spurting all over'. Not at all happy about their exageration I drove to work. Good heavens it was a blood bath, all over the walls, the floor, the cage, table ...., A CHILD. (Fortunately he was an older out of school child who was rather amused). After a visit to the vets the guinea pigs came to live in my garden. I couldn't have children face that again. One died last month and as my boys' first 'death' I expected tears but they were unconcerned. They want to dig it up now to see how it has decomposed. Boys eh.

We've had a giant snail at nursery before but it died after one of the children dropped it!

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

I have replaced goldfish before as well-many times- and never been caught out.

[finleysmaid]

I had a staff member who took three days off last year because her dog died and she was too upset to come into work!!

 

 

If anything happened to Finley that would be me

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

Ah Finleysmaid I now see where your name comes from.

[sunnyday]

If anything happened to Finley that would be me

I must admit I read that and thought back to when my beautiful dog passed away - it wasn't work time it was a New Years Eve - we were hosting a huge family get together the next day - Mr S said "do you want me to let everyone know that it's off (such was my level of grief ) I told him no but contact them and tell them I can't talk about it - they all behaved beautifully until oldest son, as he finished eating, stood up with plate in hand and said "shall I give this to Em.......", he was mortified but it was OK, I knew she had been part of our family from 7 weeks old and we all had to adjust to her not being with us any longer......

I have throughout the years lost 5 cats - I am very much a cat person - but didn't have anywhere near the same effect on me as losing my dog.......

If you have never had a dog this probably all sounds completely nuts :blink: :1b

[Rea]

Not nuts at all, they're family.

I was distraught when we lost our cats and sobbed all day when the first ferret had to be put to sleep, so surprised that I could love such a tiny creature so much. If anything happens to my Obi (or any of the other pets), I will need serious help

[sunnyday]

Just thought - my beautiful grandson was only four at the time - he had obviously been warned "don't say anything to nana about Emily" - every now and again throughout that day he just stroked me - how sweet, kind and loving.......dear little boy :1b

Right I need to get my mind off deceased dogs - I'm feeling a bit sad now

Back to my garden - that will do it! :1b

[Panders]

What's that saying dogs have owners, but cats have staff, or dogs look up to us and cats look down!

 

Totally get the dog thing they become members of the family because they are so involved with it. I know when our cat went missing for a. Couple of days a few years ago the impact it had on us all surprised me a bit. But when we lost the dog my dad was inconsolable and I remember that perhaps more than anything else.

[sunnyday]

Speaking of our feline friends - my cat is now positively geriatric - 17 - have just come in to make a cuppa - scheduled tea break :1b stood on something soft just outside door - jumped backed thinking it must be her tail but no - it's the the most horrible, vile dead mouse when is she ever going to get too old to catch

back out with the coal tongs to move it - couldn't touch it - yuck!

[Rea]

A gift sunnyday, how lovely. :rolleyes:

Our cats are pretty useless, but Minnie catches mice and eats half of it, she leaves the tail, part of the body and the back legs and in the summer, the entrails bake onto the path.

I tried giving fresh kill to the ferrets but they turned their noses up at it, not lovingly skinned, boned and diced like their usual meat.

[Froglet]

If you have never had a dog this probably all sounds completely nuts :blink: :1b

Not nuts exactly but I confess to having been a little perplexed before and in a way envious. Nuts is probably naming the spider that scuttles across your living room floor and then having a chat with it - along the lines of "Well, there you are, I haven't seen you for ages!" when it's probably not the same spider. Unless 'Bill' is a spider of particular longevity!

[hali]

my mum in law bought me a frog catcher once - for those that the cats bought In - in the middle of the night screaming!!!!!!(hubby wouldn't go near so I had to get rid - poor things)

also they bought in a baby bunny in one night (on good Friday morning ) kids were amazed when I said the Easter Bunny had been - I wasn't lying

 

it is sad when our beloved pets die but think it does help children realise what has to happen in the world before they have to deal with family members or those close to them