Advice From Narnia

[Guest]

I feel a bit cheeky but I would like your advice on how you managed your work life balance when you had cancer. I was diagnosed last week and will soon be having a hysterectomy possibly other treatment depending on my MRI scan and so will be off work for quite a while. we are due an Ofsted at the beginning of Sept. just when everything changes Before my news I planned slowly implimenting new changes so that I and staff would be up to speed when they came. I will inform Ofsted of staff changes I have already re arranged rotas with the help of staff.

What are the practicalities? I will work up until I go in I need to prioritise but dont really know where to start.

I would really appreciate any advice.

sue

[dreamgirl]

Oh dear. Poor you. I know I'm not narnia and can't give the good advice that she can. I' m sure she'll come along soon. On a personal level, I would concentrate on you. Don't worry about work. You are much more important. Xxxx

[hali]

Oh Sue i am so sorry and will keep everything crossed for you. Am sure narnia will be along with some excellent advise shortly. Just make sure you put yourself first - take care xxxxxxx

[Guest]

thank you I will think of myself and family first but really need to be busy and my pre-school/after school are part of my family life

I set up my setting 17yrs ago and just need it to run smoothly in my absence so need to get a move on so to speak. i also realise how little I delegate so would like to support my staff in some of their new roles

sue

[sunnyday]

Hi Sue.......I couldn't just read and run.........sending a virtual hug x

[Froglet]

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice but wanted to send my best wishes to you.

[Rea]

Oh good grief, really sorry to hear your news Sue.

Do what you can, when you can and oversee the rest.

Good luck with your operation and treatment :1b :1b

[Panders]

Do hope that your op and treatment go well for you Sue. I suspect as many of us on here do, you neglect yourself a little so that you can plough on and look after everyone else and the job - share out as much as you can - and while you can, let them do it now, so that you are on hand to help if needed, in this way I think you may be comforted that they will be able to do it when you are not able to be there.

[suebear]

Thinking of you, stay strong x

 

I'd guess you delegate asap and be there as a listening ear, support background role, and let others know you believe they can do your job and have faith in them, but that you're there for questions and guidance. Also just a thought have you kept your early years advisor in the loop so they can support staff too?

 

Hugs

[Fredbear]

Hi honey, well as others have already said make your priority you, i'm sure others can step up when needed, sending hugs your way, stay strong. X

[HappyMaz]

Just wanted to send you a big hug and lots of love. I can well understand your concern for your setting in amidst your fears about your own health. Sometimes it is hard to know where the dividing line is in that work/life balance. Take care. xx

[Scarlettangel]

Sending my own big hug and love to you suewhit

 

I didn't know that I had cancer when I went in to have my tumor removed but because I knew I was going in to have the operation it did allow for some planning and thinking time.

 

I have only been off for 6 weeks but I did try and delegate so none of the paperwork got really behind. I also planned to have staff in extra so my usual staff had time to do my learning journeys as well as their own!

 

The thing is no matter how indispensable we think we are, work goes on despite us not being there so I think you will be able to plan for many outcomes and those you can't plan for I am sure your staff will manage.

 

I also told my staff they could call me rather than worry, just not on the day I had the operation!!

 

I hope all goes smoothly for you.

It's hard to do and easy to say, but don't worry about work. It will still be there when you go back!

 

Much love x x x x

[narnia]

ok, wrote you a LONG answer, which I then realised was turning into a dissertation, so have cut back to basics!

First of all, I am truly sorry to hear your Cancer diagnosis, it must have been a huge shock, even if you suspected it, to be told yes, that's what you're dealing with . But you will deal with it, because you have to, there is nothing else you can do. ALL of it is do-able and you will get through xx

So:

Tell your staff and then parents ( nowt worse than rumours, it will finish off the business faster than anything), so tell them all the truth, that you have Cancer, that you are having an op to deal with it and that you will be back to work as quickly as your health allows, but in the meantime the children are in good, safe hands and you are at the end of a telephone if needs be.

Tell Ofsted, your CDO and I also phoned the FE team to tell them who would be dealing with the claim forms in my absence and that it was ok to speak to them if necessary.Put all of this in writing so they can't say you didn't inform them.

Make sure your staff KNOW ( NOT think!) where all paperwork can be found; that all policies and procedures are up to date; that they know exactly how long children need to be away in event of things such as tummy bugs etc..................and that they know to apply the policies consistently across the board.

Make sure they have a list of useful/important phone numbers and who to speak to at the end of those phone numbers! This might seem obvious, but when you have been holding the reins for so long, a number that just says 'Angela' next to it, means nothing to your assistant, unless she also knows that Angela is a Health visitor, etc.

List of who to contact in the event of emergencies..........................plumber/electrician etc? ( Oh! and where the stop cock is...................I didn't know where it was in my setting and when the pipes burst it took us ages to find it!)

Do staff know where to find everything.............all the necessary paperwork etc.........make a list of where they can find things

Make sure that all bills are sent out on time and late payers are chased up, designate one member of staff to be responsible for this and they know how long you would allow a bill to go unpaid.

Make sure all of YOUR bills are paid (payroll etc) and make a consumables order if necessary ( consortium or whoever you use) stock up on loo rolls/hand towels etc

If you have fruit etc delivered for snack time/ lunches etc, ensure someone is reponsible for this.......or ensure enough petty cash is to hand with your deputy being responsible for recording how it is spent and receipts are kept)

TRUST your staff......................you employed them so you must be happy with their work?? Ok, so let them stand up to the job in your absence. They will feel better for the extra trust you have placed in them too.YOUR new role is to get well again, be rested so that when you come back to work, you are at your optimum health again and able to tackle the world!

 

Now: remember, that all things will pass...........the operation, any follow-up treatment and pain. They will all be behind you eventually. It seems forever when you are dealing with it, and everyone is different in how they face this thing. I would say: I am not a cancer 'victim', I was and am a cancer patient..............I am not on a journey,I am not a survivor...........i simply had cancer, an illness and all being well, I am recovering from that. I took on board what the doctors told me and i dealt with any treatments step by step a day at a time, with the support and love of lots of amazing people. It DID make me realise how much I am loved, which is incredibly humbling.

So, get through the operation............any appointments, take someone with you, to remind you of any questions you were going to ask ( I ALWAYS for get t ask things, usally the most important ones!). Ask for copies of all letters between your care team. Check out the Macmillan website http://www.macmillan.org.uk. There is always someone to speak to. Has your hospital assigned to you a specialist nurse?? If so, then don't be afraid to ask questions as they occur to you, they will never mind you calling; they are there to help. So am I if I can...............no question is too small. too silly or too embarrassing. Here I am x

[Guest]

^{thanks all for your kind wishes I am confident with my prognosis so far and just want to get on with it. Still waiting for an MRI scan to see if it has spread to my pelvis this is making me a bit nervous but otherwise coping well.}

^{many thanks for all your advice narnia and scarlettangal practical help is just what I need . Will be contacting ofsted and the LA hadnt thought of lists had thought about bills already put some of this in motion just needed to ensure I had not forgot anything. It is very good to hear from people who have dealt with this first hand. All advice will be welcomed with open arms}

^sue

[Susan]

Good luck, Sue and take care of yourself however that manifests itself. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

[Guest]

Sending positive thoughts and hugs

 

Nona x

[Stargrower]

Lots of people will be thinking of you and your family, Sue. Best of luck with everything.

Beehive xx

[lashes2508]

dear Sue, sending hugs and smiles for the days you dont have any. Follow the fantastic advice from all that have offered it , be strong when you can and cry when you need to , remember those who want to help you and kick ass to the big C ! take care xx

[louby loo]

Nothing more to add, but want to send postive thoughts and hugs....xx

 

Also don't forget we're always here for support - even at some odd hours of the night xx

[Scarlettangel]

Having just caught up with the thread again I wanted to say that waiting for my scan and it's subsequent results was an ordeal and at times very scary.

 

However my specialist nurse told me it was more to rule it (cancer) and it's spread out than to rule it in.

 

It's so easy to say remain positive and try not to worry until you know what if anything it is you have to worry about but I wsh I could have taken my own advice and done just that.

I perhaps could have saved myself some grey hairs and wrinkles!

 

Sending a hug. All crossed for good news regarding the scan x

[SueFinanceManager]

Sending love and best wishes to you Sue.....we will all be rooting for you and ready to offer all the virtual help we can x

[Thingy]

Great advice already given but just wanted send you the very best of wishes x

[klc106]

Thinking of you xx

[Guest]

heading for a colposcopy today joy stirrups again ! already had 2 hysteroscopys one of those blissfuly unawares in theatre still await appointment for MRI and follow up with consultant to see if I need more than just an op. Hope I dont get the giggles again I just look like one of the old seaside post cards of the fat lady in those hospital gowns and my fluffy dressing gown sat in a queue with several other ladies dressed the same.

will cheer myself up afterwards by doing a bit of shopping for sand and new sand toys for our lovely new sand tray.

I cant help looking at things with a laugh because when I went for my initial smear I was laid there with the nurse poised for action when the light broke and fell on her head it could only happen to me.

sue

[SueFinanceManager]

I cant help looking at things with a laugh because when I went for my initial smear I was laid there with the nurse poised for action when the light broke and fell on her head it could only happen to me.

sue

 

Hmm smears....gotta love em NOT....I remember a particularly interesting one in the days when equipment was sterilised not just used once....nice freshly sterilised speculum....fresh out of the machine and piping hot....as the doctor was trying to insert it I was moving further up the bed thinking now I know how cattle feel when they are branded :blink:

 

Do try and keep smiling and we are all thinking of you x

[purplewednesday1]

There was a story once (may even have been here) about a lady who went for a smear but hadn't had time to go home for a wash so had a quick 'freshen up' with a tissue from her bag. Unfortunately the tissue had previously been used to clean her toddlers glittery hands after a cutting and sticking session. When she 'assumed the position' the comment " nice to see you've made an effort!" was made. makes me giggle every time i think about it!

 

 

pw x

[Guest]

Just wanted to add that I've been on both sides of this. I was diagnosed with cancer nearly 8 years ago and had half a term off. In september last year my manager was rushed into hospital for emergency surgery and ended up having the whole term off, and another member of staff had collapsed on the first day of term and subsequently handed her notice in. (we only have four members of staff!) On top of that OFSTED walked in and I'm Deputy and had to deal with recruiting staff and everything else. But we got a good OFSTED, didn't lose any children and were still standing when the manager finally returned.

 

What I'm trying to say is that people will step up when they have to, so give them all the info and trust them, don't worry.

 

As for your treatment, mine wiped me out, no two ways about it, (but I had chemo, radiotherapy and surgery) just deal with it one day at a time and know you're going in the right direction. One day you'll look back and it'll all seem very distant and everyone will have come out the other side and you'll all be getting on with your lives again.

 

Good luck. xx

[Guest]

wow you and your team had a bit of a time its very reasuring to here from people that have been there and wore the tshirt so to speak and beat it thank you .

well had a great time in the stirrups yesterday they sent off 3 samples for biopsy. This was not what I wanted to here as earlier they said they thought it was just confined to my womb and not on my cervex. However she did say they did not have to wait for this to come back as when they do the hysterectomy they would also tackle this . She said they would know more about other treatment after I have my scan (still awaiting this appointment)

So my mood is still upbeat with a little wobble around the edges.

the amusing factor was that I had to go to a different hospital it was so bizarre anti-natel , STDs and gynie probs all together with little privacy. We could hear some very pregnant lady being told she needed to be put on a monitor as there was something wrong.

the room I went into had no blinds at the windows with a row of houses looking in, the ominus chair had a curtain around but you had to walk in front of the windows in the gown with no back and my bum sticking out !!!!!!!