Parents Drive Me Crazy!

[Guest]

what a day it's been today, we have had a new little boy join us and had his 2nd session today mum insisted on staying all but 1/2 an hour of the session for what ever reason she said he suffers from seperation anxiety but it not him it's her!! fortunately when she did eventually leave on her return she looked through the window and saw him playing very happily and very settled!! so we carry on untill she is ready to let go and i'm all for keeping everybody happy especially a fretful parent!! then at end of session mum and dad of another boy were very angry towards me as we are now full untill september and they wanted another session for their child as funding for him can begin after easter, and for some reason they thought if they were aggressive and used bully boy tactics on me i would crumble and find them an extra place for their child even though we don't have any. i stayed very calm and just said how pleased we were that our pre school was so popular that we could be full and that as they clearly wanted to use all of their free funding they were more than welcome to find other child care source for their child! why oh why do some parents use a pre school for their convienence and not for the good of the child's development? and why can some people be so nasty to end the day i had to have a chat to a mum who's child is very aggressive and we have had loads of problems with (long story) anyway she broke down totally and said she can't cope anymore she doesn't know what to do. (quite frankly i feel she has been let down by health visitor, and doctor etc) she needs help and i have now called sure start to see what help is out there if any one has any dealings with sure start for helping families i'd be very keen to find out more! this job is so rewarding but sometimes so trying! well i'm off to walk the dog it's a great tension breaker nearlly as good as sharing with you wonderful people i love my husband but he isn't very interested and gets upset that people can be mean to me so thank you for your support!!

[Panders]

Sorry you have had such a **** day! Let's hope for better tomorrow, I think one of my parents used Homestart - they have volunteers who befriend parents and give support and practical help I believe, but this was before the little boy started with us, so may be only for quite young children. Suppose the child's behaviour may well be the tip of the iceberg for her and many other things may be wrong in her life.

 

You can only do what you can do - my husband much the same - can't see how I get so involved in the pre-school life - even though it's my pre-school and I've been doing it for a number of years - he still hopes I'll get ' a proper job one day'

[Guest]

I can't really offer any help - but just to offer my sympathy - and say how much easier our lives would be if we didn't have parents to deal with!!

Hoping tomorrow is a better day,

 

Emily

[Guest]

I SO understand what you mean!!!!

Also very much about husbands, mine is probably going to cite the word "playgroup" in divorce papers one day.

Wish I had a dog!

Jane

[louby loo]

I SO understand what you mean!!!!

Also very much about husbands, mine is probably going to cite the word "playgroup" in divorce papers one day.

Wish I had a dog!

Jane

 

 

My hubby always wants to 'sort out' agressive parents for me! He is very protective about his family and although not a normally agressive man, the minute someone upsets one of his 'girls' he turns caveman!

 

debatwrittle,

I hope you have a better day tomorrow. I know how you feel about the extra session issues- I have one parent that asks at the beginning and end of each session in the hope I can 'magic up' spaces! I'm sure she thinks she can grind me down to saying yes!!

[Rea]

I know what you mean exactly. One of our parents, who was going to remove her child a couple of weeks ago and send her to a nursery on our doorstep, due to the behaviour of another child (which has been and is miles better), has now pulled a face because we cant give her the sessions she wants.

So leave then, you saw the competition 2 weeks ago and stayed with us.

Oh they do make us mad dont they.

[Cait]

They really do. No matter HOW often i put on the newsletter at the start of each your "If you think you may want to increase your child's sessions over the course of the year, please let me know so that I can book those sessions out for your child" they come to me at this time of year and say, "Oh, can she be full time after Easter so she gets used to full days?" GRRRRRR (How about NO!) I always say, 'If you can take sessions at the last minute I can let you know if a child is absent, but they won't be regular' and it's surprising how inconvenient some of them find that!

[diesel10]

I think we forget at this time of year about settling children and their parents! I am sure that they will both be settled soon. Although I think its the best possible start if they see the child playing happily.

 

All my parents have been asking for extra days. Although to me it is a fault with the free entitlement system that the autumn children who receive the entitlement first 'bag' all the places. The spring children now want extra after easter and the poor summer born are still paying. I actually increased our registration with OFTSED to help one child and am busy trying to fit the rest in.

 

Could your Area SENCo help with the child with behaviour problems. They may be able to point you in the right direction.

 

Here's for a better day tomorrow.

[mundia]

Hi debatwittle

Do you have a children centre nearby or family support services you can access to support your distressed mum. It may be that a CAF can be considered if there is an unmet need.

[Susan]

Sorry guys but this topic actually makes me feel very uncomfortable. Please dont forget that parents are only human and we all make mistakes, also for many of them they may not actually realise the implications of what you are asking and they like us have busy lives I am sure. Also without them we wouldnt have any clients, would we?

[Rea]

You're quite right Susan, I'm sure we've all been the situation of wanting to shout at someone, and who better than who ever is standing in front of you?

Instead of moaning I'm going to put out a short news letter explaining how I fill places.

[Upsy Daisy]

I think we all need somewhere to let off steam sometimes.

 

I am a parent who is regularly a thorn in the side of my children's teachers for various reasons and I'm sure there have been times, especially recently, when certain members of staff have had a good moan about me.

 

However that didn't make me feel any better this evening when I told a parent that I will have to take a break from childminding her one-year-old for a few weeks following a anl operation on my hand. She responded as if I was asking for an extended holiday. Asking me what I was going to do to find alternative childcare on her behalf because there's no way she can be expected to take time off work. She made it clear that she considered my actions to be extremely inconsiderate. Then she started threatening to send him to the local nursery instead. I took the wind out of her sails by saying what good nursery it is and she must do what she feels is best for her family.

 

There. I feel better now and I hope it helps others to know that they're not the only ones who feel frustrated by parents' attitudes at times.

[abimat43]

Hi, it is good to talk and let off steam.. your doing a grand and difficult job.

 

I am a family support outreach worker and this is just the sort of support we provide, either you or the mum can make a referal and we will arrange a home visit.

 

Have you thought of contacting your childrens centre and ask if you can meet the outreach worker, I visit our pre schools in the area on a regular basis to build up relationships and to get to know the families and children in the local area.

[louby loo]

I think that's a good thing about this site - sometimes we just need to let of steam with like minded friends.

 

We all have days when we wear our 'working hat' and take whatever comes in our direction and still act in a professional manner. We fully understand every issue had two sides.............but sometime it just helps to have a moan with people who understand - this also gives our other half a rest too.

 

We know that tomorrow morning we'll be back on the front line, ready to take whatever challenges the day brings feeling all the better for knowing we are not alone.

 

XXX

[Guest]

Parents! You have to love them - without them we'd all be unemployed!!

 

I'm with Upsy Daisy - I know I've driven school staff mad in the past "but hey, that's what they get paid for!!"

 

I think we all have to admit to wanting what we feel is best for our child and acting on it without thinking of the person we're asking to sort it. That's why having this chance to let off steam is SO important.

 

Upsy Daisy - hope you're not going to be out of action for too long? Will you still be able to post on here ???

 

I've had 4 operations on my hands in the last 15 years - oh the frustration of looking after a 2 year old, literally single-handed! I couldn't drive or push her buggy and when I decided to go for a walk instead I had to carry her to the retired couple next door but one because I couldn't fasten the buckles on her shoes You have my greatest sympathy!

 

Nona

[KIKPOP99]

Hi

 

Can somebody please advise me on a small issue.

 

We are a private full day-care nursery. A parent who is contemplating sending their child to us has requested I send a log of all complaints and accidents to them. I have no problem with them coming to the nursery to view our complaints and accidents, but I don't wish to go through the laborious task of photocopying everythig for her. Any advice?

 

thx

kik

[Cait]

That seems a bit extreme to me, why would they ask for that? I've never been asked anything like that

[KIKPOP99]

Hi Cait,

 

I've been open 8 years and it's a first for me too! What would you do?

[Panders]

One can only assume they have had a problem with previous daycare!

 

I had a family visit a few months ago - I had gone out of my way to track them down to offer the place, but that's by the by. She asked what I would do if....... had an accident and she went on to tell me that his previous full daycare nursery had kept him at the nursery until pick up time when he had been hurt early in the day and she was very upset with them that they hadn't called her to come and collect him. She worked an hour away from the nursery.

 

Anyway while looking around ours, low and behold one of the children threw something up in the air and it hit a and broke a flourescent light, needless to say, that was the last we saw of them!!!

 

Personally I would not send those records, but invite her to come and see them instead.

[wellerkaren]

Sorry did not want to read and run I just want to give you a big virtual hug (((((HUG))))

[KIKPOP99]

Thanks Panders. That's exactly what I was thinking of doing. But you know when a parent can make that kind of request her next question is simply going to be "Why can't you send them?" To which I reply......?

[Rea]

You cant send copies can you? Confidentiality would mean you going through each one deleting anything that gave a hint of who.

Invite her in to look though them with a cup of tea.

[KIKPOP99]

Brilliant Rea - Thanks a mill! That's exactly it. What's that phrase they always use on the phone about confidentiallity?

[louby loo]

Don't qoute me - I may have dreamt it - but I'm pretty sure I've read something similar to this in the last few weeks....I actually think that OFsted may have a special form to do this. If someone asks you have a duty to supply.

If it is true is this something that may become the norn?

[Panders]

Confidentiality is a big worry on that type of thing, so that's the reason I would give. We use a separate page for each accident form, so any parent signing cannot see any other accidents, same in our incident book and fortunately, we don't have any complaints to show, but we would do the same with that. We tend to use initials for the children's names, so anyone checking it like your parent wouldn't be able to know who was who.

 

If the parent comes in to view them, you could at least engage her in a chat about her concerns just to find out if there is anything in the past that has happened to make her worry so much.

[KIKPOP99]

Thanks Guys for your help. I think I'll contact ofsted tomorrow and get their take on it.

[louby loo]

I must point out my earlier post was in reference to complaints - not accidents. xx

[Upsy Daisy]

Upsy Daisy - hope you're not going to be out of action for too long? Will you still be able to post on here ???

 

Just try and stop me! I'll need FSF to keep me sane

[HappyMaz]

Parents or perspective parents have a right to look at your complaints log, but not to see the accident book. These are confidential records which shouldn't be shown to anyone else without permission of the family concerned. So I'd firmly tell her that she can come and look at your complaints records, but that your accident book is confidential and not available for general inspection.

 

Really all you can do is show her your health and safety policy and explain how accidents are handled, how first aid or medicine is administered etc - if your answers don't satisfy the parent then really there won't be the basic level of trust between you and she should find somewhere else to send her child.

 

It sounds as if there are underlying issues here that you'll need to get to the bottom of so that you can understand the parent's fears and worries because these will have a huge impact on how she sees your provision and possibly how she interacts with staff on a daily basis.

 

Good luck - sometimes parents make what we think are unreasonable demands but when you understand where the behaviour is coming from you can offer the reassurance they need in other ways and build a good relationship. And if you can't, then it is best to find this out and go your separate ways!

 

Maz

[sunnyday]

Brilliant Rea - Thanks a mill! That's exactly it. What's that phrase they always use on the phone about confidentiallity?

 

Data Protection!!!

 

Upsy Alison Daisy hope all goes well with your op.......

 

My parents are not in my good books today.........had a 'stay and chat' session - told them that any donations recieved for tea/coffee/biscuits would be sent to Sport Relief........they managed to use half a jar of coffee........eat 2 packs of biscuits - all supplied free and gratis by yours truly........so how much do you think was in the 'donation bowl'.........£1.00.........can you believe it?