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How many of you have had 'That moment'


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Mollieben I am in the same position - re feeling alone with the vision and the brick wall!!!

Ive been at that wall for several years trying to chip away!

Im trying to hang in there but yes it does feel like its too much....now I have a committee blocking me and criticising decisions at every move....don't feel I can do anything right lately !! :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

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Oh dear! I'm just starting out. Having it's challenges but beats being in school hands down.

 

Staff yes being a boss is definitely interesting. I had one who found some odd blocks in the construction and actually handed them to me. The worst part is that I went and put them away instead of telling her to. I suspect it's because they're not paid enough.

 

Parents. Goodness I've had one change her sessions three times because she can't get her child into a routine. I phoned her up on Thursday to see where she was (13.00 sessions starts at 12.30). I woke her up the child had kept her up until 04.00. This is a regular occurrence. The parent sends the child in with a sandwich every day despite us telling her not to because the child 'expects' it. The child came with a strop on a Weds because she didn't like her clothes and gave Mum a right hard time. She got wet during the session so we changed her. When Mum picked up she thought we'd changed her because she didn't like her clothes! Talk about an imbalance of power!

 

Chin up everyone like Sue says you are amazing and doing one of the most important jobs there is.

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Phew my moan is parents and Landlord making huge demands. I have spent 3 days this week trying to sort out an insurance issue which my Landlord has instigated and no underwriter will touch.

A child and their parents who we have supported for nearly two years has now decided that the report I wrote in support of a request for "statementing" was not "strong" enough because he is still at my setting! This was not the opinion of the EP or my IA. Child has been diagnosed with ASD, this morning whilst waiting for opening up he was playing chasing with two other children, making eye contact AND calling them by their name. Parent tells him to tell the other children that he does not want to play!

:wacko:

Just be aware that autism is a spectrum and diagnosed children can present in many different ways. My daughter is asd but she certainly has never had an issue with eye contact and enjoyed playing with friends. I'm not sure what your comment about him calling them by their name was referring to. The diagnosis process is usually fairly stringent and thankfully it sounds like the professionals involved haven't relied on stereotyped criteria to reach their conclusion.

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Doesn't sound like much in the scheme of things but all week I've been saying "we need to get the christmas things out" ...all took it to mean I meant the royal 'we' , so like a mug I've done it today....I know, I know I should have just said you and you get the Christmas things out of the cupboard, but would it really hurt someone to say shall I hang on a few mins and help get them out ? I try to accommodate them when they need to go a bit early or arrive a bit late.....a little would go such a long way to helping how we all feel :(

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I'm actually ok - although drowning in paperwork, trying to recruit staff, managing occupancy - the usual. In fact I was saying on Friday that I couldn't imaging doing anything else!

Just wish the goverment and parents would realise what we actually do! We just had SEN support out today from LEA - more work anyone???

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Wild flowers - you must repost that in the 'happy times' thread :D ::1a :D

We need to tip the balance and have more happy times :1b

I'm happily ignoring the fact I was the only one that saw there glaring leak in the kitchen today....... and I'm sad to say- 'I' decided to 'not see it' either, and simply passed the problem over to someone else.

NOTE- it is not a health and safety issue. :D

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Doesn't sound like much in the scheme of things but all week I've been saying "we need to get the christmas things out" ...all took it to mean I meant the royal 'we' , so like a mug I've done it today....I know, I know I should have just said you and you get the Christmas things out of the cupboard, but would it really hurt someone to say shall I hang on a few mins and help get them out ? I try to accommodate them when they need to go a bit early or arrive a bit late.....a little would go such a long way to helping how we all feel :(

Same here Mousekeeper.(wasnt you was it encouraged a mouse in my house on sunday to nibble at our dog treats ? ? Lol

Anyway.much the same here ,as Owner I stayed 2 hrs later till 8pm getting all the Christmas bits down from upstairs,and putting tree up....I work on the assumption after 10 years if I dont do it it wont get done,like you staff have children to dash home for,dates to keep.....but as i I approach retirement I fear for the future....who will do all that I do ???

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest sn0wdr0p

I had that moment back in November and yesterday my wonderful nursery which I had spent seven years setting up opened without me as neither the owner or manager.

It had been a bad year healthwise and I worried so much about work before going in for my hysterectomy that my blood pressure was so high they considered not operating. Then I stupidly rushed back to work three weeks later that I set myself back weeks. A malicious complaint just before the op triggered a brought forward inspection - we did get a good though. But it really shook my confidence.

It has been a real struggle and I put every penny back into building up the business and in October we finally turned the corner and started to make a good profit and I was convinced that it would finally feel worth the worry and stress but nothing changed. A 2 day trip away to do Christmas shopping in Leeds at the start of November finally resulted in 'that moment'. There was a problem with a staff member who had 'decided' to take some holiday without my permission and I spent a fair bit of time in my hotel room trying to sort it out. Later that night I said to my husband that I had had enough! Now I have said this a number of times but this time he realised I was serious and we decided to try selling the nursery to a local nursery chain. They wanted it and on 30th December the sale went through.

So no more worries that the opinion of one person (Ofsted inspector) is more important than the opinion of the 600 children and their parents who I have cared for, no more shopping for the nursery on a weekend, no more paperwork covering the dining table, no more worries and hassle about getting parents to pay outstanding fees, no more dashing to work a 7am in a morning when a staff member calls in sick so no more trying to get my own children set off to school without me, no more waiting for the knock on the door.

It hasn't all been bad - I loved my job at first but worries about Ofsted, paperwork, the political impact of where nursery care may be heading had gradually changed how I feel. I can still remember our first inspection when we got a Good grading with outstanding elements gosh it felt good and we have had two further inspections where we have again been graded as good but I still constantly worry that a small slip up could put us down to an inadequate - for no good reason.

I really don't know what I am going to do now and everyone who knows me is of the opinion that I am going to be bored pretty soon. I may go into assessing or back to lecturing but never never will I work in a nursery again. At then moment I am just going to cherish my wonderful family who have lived through the highs and lows with me. The best bit of this whole process was telling my 11 year old son that I was selling my nursery and he jumped up and down whooping and punching the air then hugged me really hard and said that he couldn't wait until I was at home when he came in from school and if it was raining I would have a hot chocolate and a towel warmed in the tumble dryer for him (something I have done on the few occasions when I have managed to get home before him).That has made it all worth It - I still cry thinking about it. My older sons are also very pleased but more for me than them.

A pile of jam jars was mysteriously appearing on my kitchen windowsill just before Christmas and I started to pop them in a bag to take to recycling at which point my husband stopped me and told me he was saving them for me so I could make jams and chutneys in all this spare time I will have. I scoffed and said no way but to be honest I rather like the idea. Domestic Goddess here I come.

So it's goodbye to early years (for now?). I will still pop in to the forum to say hello and help if I can but I send to those of you still battling away my best wishes and best of luck for the future.

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Another 'wow'. I wish you great things :D:D

To be honest I am quite envious of your new situation. I ended the year not 100% sure we would have jobs to go back to- and again being honest part of me hoped not!

At the moment we are ok, but not sure for how long - however the new year has seen that I will be doing no more 'out of hours worrying' (manager not owner). All paperwork will be done in paid time, no more weekend shopping for the group.... and staff cover -not my worry (although to be fair never really had any problems with that other than true emergencies)

xxxx

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Guest sn0wdr0p

It really hit me when I handed the keys over and the new owner said she would have to go shopping to get all the food in for next week and I realised that was not how I was going to spend my Sunday mornings any more.

 

A great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

 

Whilst typing this message I have had to angle my laptop away from my husband so he could not see that I was 'on the forum pages again' - I will have to wean myself off the habit of logging on numerous times a day. Thank you for your kind thoughts though.

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sn0wdr0p I just wanted to wish you all the best for the future. So much of your posts could have been written by me and for the first time in twenty years I am not sure that I want to continue in early years. Will see how this year continues and what happens.

Hope you will be happy making your jam and chutneys!!

Let us know how you get on. Xx

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Whilst typing this message I have had to angle my laptop away from my husband so he could not see that I was 'on the forum pages again' - I will have to wean myself off the habit of logging on numerous times a day. Thank you for your kind thoughts though.

This doesn't count as 'work' though... on here we are all just chatting as friends.. :1b :1b

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It really hit me when I handed the keys over and the new owner said she would have to go shopping to get all the food in for next week and I realised that was not how I was going to spend my Sunday mornings any more.

 

A great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

 

Whilst typing this message I have had to angle my laptop away from my husband so he could not see that I was 'on the forum pages again' - I will have to wean myself off the habit of logging on numerous times a day. Thank you for your kind thoughts though.

Your life as it was echoes how mine is now.....made me shudder how much nursery ownership takes over our livres.So pleased that you have stepped away,sold,and hopefully seen some financial gain for all your 7 years of ownership.My nursery has been trading successfully for 10 yrs now,but was 3 years in the conversion etc before then.....not an easy time for both of us,but we made it through ...but as we reach retirement,do i also step back,regain my dining room table (wierd the simliarities) and sell....or transfer to my manager daughter who nags me when I ask for outstanding fees (not a good sign ).....might have to think long and hard this year,......lets see how it goes ...I wish you well snOwdrOp....perhaps sell you jams and chutneys as a sideline ??? Good luck in all you do xx

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I wish you well sn0wdr0p, even though your post was sad to read I am just a little bit envious after just going through a 'safeguard audit' that should be submitted by mid Jan, and having done my Food Hygiene renewal online on NY day as i know with staffing problems there's no way it will happen AT work :(, but the thing that really rattled me was an email from our EY advisor on christmas eve, (not only to me other settings to) to remind us that all staff now have to renew inclusion training every 3 yrs and i need to book staff on it HAPPY CHRISTMAS gggggrrrrrrr

Best Wishes :)

Edited by Mouseketeer
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Wishing you well Snowdrop!!

Am completely envious of your courage to make the decision to do it (but remind myself sometimes the decision making is the hardest part and everything gets easier from then! I'm another step closer to doing it in my mind) Your rewards are reaping in already from your little boys response; how sweet of him to react the way he did - we forget how much our families adapt around our commitments to our work and how much work sees in to our home lives

Early years really won't be the same without us all...but sadly it's what the sector changes and demands has led to us all feeling and sadly it's not ever the children at the centre of our reasons but it will be them that miss out

 

Would anyone recommend childminding as a means to get back to the heart of it and actually get to spend productive time with little ones without having to keep sorting staffing issues out!

 

I too wanted to suggest how lovely it would be if we all could get together and run a setting as a fantastically highly committed and supportive team; what a lovely thought; the retirement home sounds fun though! We could play havoc when Ofsted came out and blame our age!

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Well done sn0wdr0p - you may well find a queue for the hot chocolate! Don't forget to show off your makes on the 'our own makes' thread! (Seville oranges are about to come into season to make proper marmalade)

I hope you enjoy January as an opportunity to rest and recover from a difficult decision, then have a look around in February. I know at my school we would welcome such a talented person as a volunteer for a few hours a week, so I am sure someone nearer to you would love to have you on board - and that's still the best way to become a Teaching Assistant here should you feel like taking that route.

Whatever you do - good luck.

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Would anyone recommend childminding as a means to get back to the heart of it and actually get to spend productive time with little ones without having to keep sorting staffing issues out!

 

 

Funnily enough - this is something my husband and I are actually seriously considering doing!

He has been given the possible opportunity for early retirement, and we have the room. :D

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Guest sn0wdr0p

It was a very very hard decision which I had struggled with for some time. I didn't come out with much money - only about a years salary but the money is not important as we had decided if we could not sellwe would just close. I know I am very lucky to be in the position of not having to find work. I did childmind before opening my nursery but do not really want to go back to that although it would give me the opportunity of going back to what I love doing without the worry of staff. I will miss rash checking - at least once a week I was asked to check a rash on a child and felt rather smug when I correctly diagnosed chicken pox, molluscums, contact rashes etc. It gets easier as you get older.

 

I would love to promote playwork in some way as I feel so few practitioners now come out of college with an understanding of real play and the play cycle, play frame etc. My first qualification was a level 3 in playwork and I was inspired by a wonderful lecturer at East Riding College called Chris Millington.

 

My family were rather surprised at lunch today when I presented home made soup, home made bread and butter curls instead of the usual tin of Heinz and Warburtons loaf and margarine. House hunting out inthe countryside today as I no longer need to be close to work in case of problems and early starts. It was lovely to see deer running in the fields, sat and watched a Heron with the boys who were fascinated - hope we can buy a home in that area.

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House hunting out inthe countryside today as I no longer need to be close to work in case of problems and early starts. It was lovely to see deer running in the fields, sat and watched a Heron with the boys who were fascinated - hope we can buy a home in that area.

A real 'Escape to the Country' :1b lovely!

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