sunnyday Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 So.......today we have welcomed several new children to pre-school - all went extremely well apart from our 'twins' ....... Parents were fantastic and worked very well with us to get them settled and waited 'down stairs' for a while and then came back to collect them when they were all happy and contented as per my request - so that's 'all good'...... However, dad of the twins gave my deputy and I a big hug each as he left :blink: - I am a very 'touchy,feely' person myself - my deputy less so........but goodness this all felt very 'weird' to both of us and it is not something that we have ever experienced before......I have often had hugs from mums which feels fine, well lovely really, but not from any dads - they have been known to 'stroke' us or 'pat' us on the arm which again, feels fine...... I'm really not comfortable with this 'hugging' from a complete 'stranger' - really hope that he doesn't intend to keep this up I'm sure that this was all done with the best of intentions - but - no, we don't like it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 I remember one of 'my dads' giving me a huge hug and kissing me on the cheek at nursery once. We had been working very closely to support their child's inclusion which had involved some contact outside of the setting, but I was aghast! I think he was greeting me as if he would one of their friends - he was a bit confused! Never did it again, mind. I think maybe your dad was just feeling very grateful that everything had gone well! Only time will tell! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 oh my! The only way out sounds quite rude doesn't it? I'll leave it to others to comment on! Good luck 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stargrower Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 We often have hugs from mums, especially when there have been tears, tissues and long chats. I have occasionally been hugged by dads but only when they had been at the setting a long time. It didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable at all. However, it is a bit different with someone you don't know. He probably was feeling grateful and relieved that his children had been looked after well and maybe this is just how he expresses himself. I'd wait and see... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flowlow Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 well Sunnyday I am not sure what to say to that except you either have it or you don't 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Well I've had hugs from mums, dads, nannies and grandads in the past. I almost see it as a testament to the family orientated setting that we strive to be. Haven't had one from an almost stranger though, new one on me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Personal space is a funny thing and as said very personal....what feels right to one of us doesn't to another. You will have to wait and see if it becomes a regular thing and then just say something like 'not very professional all this hugging business' I am a hugger and will hug all sorts of people :wub: When I worked in the setting we had one or 2 gorgeous dads for whom I am sure we would have formed a queue if they had started giving out hugs :lol: :lol: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted September 9, 2013 Author Share Posted September 9, 2013 When I worked in the setting we had one or 2 gorgeous dads for whom I am sure we would have formed a queue if they had started giving out hugs :lol: :lol: Ah - perhaps that's our problem - he is not particularly gorgeous at all 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pimms o'clock? Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Ah - perhaps that's our problem - he is not particularly gorgeous at all All I can say is I "LOLed" ::1a 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted September 9, 2013 Author Share Posted September 9, 2013 ..........we do have a dad who is fireman :rolleyes: what is it about firemen .........sorry just daydreaming there :wub: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froglet Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Sometimes I think it's definitely a specific person thing. We have a dad at school who is lovely in many respects but definitely more 'touchy feely' than I feel comfortable with (no hugs though!) but among the staff there is one person who makes me squirm if she ever gets too close to me yet other members of staff can sit that close and it doesn't bother me at all! I did once work with a colleague who (jokingly) used to try to work out class splits based on good looking parents you might get to meet at parents evening! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 I am not a hugger. But I'm learning to be! There's a relative of a friend of mine who I have met three times in my life yet the last two times she has met me she's hugged me as if I was her long lost sister. I find this hard to understand! As for this kind of thing happening in a professional capacity, I think I'd be tempted to make a jolly comment something to the effect of 'oh I don't think we know each other well enough for hugs!' until he gets the message. It is tricky though - although it is a professional relationship, the work we do is so personal. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Let us hope it was a surge of relief that the twins had started and not done too badly at all. Our new twins were great up til 11 mum popped back for them as this was the plan and went again as they were contented but then we tidied up and it was quiet before we washed hands etc before snack and the boy flipped. The girl was fine his tears didn't bother her at all. We called mum back again thankfully she is 5 minutes away. Our other set of twins returning had grown up so much, Especially the sensitive one we had a great time today. Granddaughter starts with us tomorrow don't know who's more excited! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sox Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Oh sunnyday you have just reminded of one of our dads! He decided I needed a christmas hug and kiss! It was a will I, wont I moment! Slow motion special. Huggers every since Will have to get over the fascination, they'll of to New Zealand after christmas 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 We had a hugger once who used to make us all squirm, thought he was 'God's gift' if you know what I mean, but absolutely wasn't! Luckily we only saw him very infrequently and we all managed to fill our arms with children or ringbinders or whatever, the minute he walked in!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 Perhaps you need to have a tray of paint at the ready to dip your hands into should you see him approaching. Either that or start sniffing and sneezing, then tell him to stand well back in case he catches something from you...... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spiral Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 Its hard isn't it. I hugged someone who really went to town on me and was apologising to me for being so nasty - I think I felt pity on them as they have alot of problems, however I suprised myself by hugging someone who had in effect ruined my life for some time! However, I also hugged a man I didn't know when I backed into his car and he said 'don't worry it's nothing'! Maybe there is just no hope for me. I just seem to react as a way of saying thankyou, but I'd be mortified if I knew I'd offended them. Good luck, maybe make sure you have armfulls of toys or things so that he can't hug you Sunnyday? Spiral :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted September 10, 2013 Author Share Posted September 10, 2013 I have loved reading all of your responses - thank you very much.........he will be back tomorrow - he won't 'get' me again!!! Much more 'useful' new dad today - he brought us a huge bag full of 'Discovery' apples - he joked that in his day you always took an apple for the teacher! :1b 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 I have only had one male hug, although lots of pleasant experiences. My 'one' was one that felt right so no problem! My colleague and I had worked long, hard and (at times) painfully with him and his wife and their youngest child (also a twin!) who had some horrendous behaviour issues !!!! On the day I left, he came with mum (having purposely left work early) to say goodbye and totally surprised me with a big hug and friendly kiss - his gratitude was obvious, as was the 'friendly' nature so, as I say, all was good. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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