Cait Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I've just been on facebook and noticed that one of the preschool parents has posted a picture of their son, aged just 3, sitting holding his Dad's gun, looking along the sight and aiming, fingers on the trigger, with the words underneath 'I love my Dad's new gun'. (a big rifle with sight on top) Feel very uncomfortable about it - am I over-reacting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Definately not over-reacting! How horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 bit tricky this one as I live in an area with military families and members of the hunt so many of my children are used to, and unfazed by guns so I guess it depends on the context. Children of these families are usually very knowledgeable about the dangers of guns and accept that they are dangerous and not toys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Well if you're 'over-reacting' please let me over-react alongside you........would certainly make me feel very uncomfortable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I'm with Max, you have to accept that some people have guns in their lives. the best way to ensure safety is through understanding and that just might be from an early age. Do you know the family well enough to chat to them informally about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catma Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) It crosses a line between the private family life and our professional responses I suppose. If it is part of their lifestyle then is it wrong? I'm not sure. It's a statement about the family's leisure choices and a photo of their child joined together. Is it in poor taste - I would personally say yes to that. If you are FB friends then this is a different relationship to provider/parent I suppose and so you may see into family life in a different way. They are sharing a family moment with their "friends", but it does illustrate how people forget the wideness of the world wide web when they post something unless they have a very locked down FB page. If the FB site is the settings managed page then maybe you would have the right to say this is not an image you would want to promote but otherwise it's their business I would guess. Cx Edited February 3, 2012 by catma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 Not really, no. They are both very early 20's and he goes out 'lamping' regularly so we know he has guns in the house. He has a licence, so I assume they are kept locked away. It just made me feel very uncomfortable, and just had a text from Deputy who says she feels physically sick after seeing it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gezabel Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 On first reading I was going to reply saying 'how awful' and definitely not over reacting but I waited awhile and have had a bit of a think. Whilst I certainly don't like the sound of what you describe I think sometimes we have to accept that families have lifestyles/hobbies that don't fit with what we personally feel is 'right' or 'acceptable'. Having said that this family seem to have guns as part of their lives with as you say, Dad going out lamping, maybe it is his parental decision to introduce his young son to this 'sport' and whilst I personally don't agree with it I don't know that it is our place to criticise their choice. I guess Dad has a new gun, his pride and joy and he is sharing it with his son? I think the whole 'gun issue' is an emotive and sensitive subject and I totally understand your reaction. If this picture is on a facebook page of parents you are friends with I don't know there is much you can do /say but if it is on your setting page then that is a different matter altogether. Sorry probably not much help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 I agree with you - no, it's on my general page, not the Preschool one. It's certainly an emotive subject, as you say, and it's obviously part of their lives. It's just a very shocking image I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mundia Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I agree with Gezabel, whilst we may personally find our parents' family values and practices a bit odd or 'not to our taste' sometimes, it is not really our place to criticise them either. Unless we have reason to believe that a child is at any risk from harm, then we should respect others' way of life as we would hope they would respect ours. In many ways this gun will probably lead to this child understanding what guns do and how to handle them safely in the future, as opposed to a teenager coming across a gun having only ever seen one on TV. Yes we can feel uncomfortable, that's because of our own upbringing and family culture and values, and its good to acknowledge that we have these feelings about certain things. Its what makes us human, in my view anyway. Its also what makes this forum the place it is, a place where we can share our feelings and 'wobbles' about things, knowing that what will often result is a good debate with a mixture of views. As a result of that, it may result in other members reflecting on how they feel about such a photo. What you and your deputy might like to think about over the weekend is how you respond to this child if he comes into pre school on Monday wanting to tell you all about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I would certainly find that a distressing image, but as others have said guns are part of some people's lives. Hopefully this family are teaching their son about the uses and dangers of guns, and that they should be treated with respect. I think you must find this image particularly distressing because of the terrible events in Cumbria in 2010, and the worries that everyone has that guns can be so easily accessible to people who are not mentally stable. So no your feelings are not an overreaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 i agree with all the other comments peronally i dont agree but if its part of thier lives.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spiral Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I don't think there's a right or a wrong answer. My nephew has a licence and goes hunting here and abroad. His children know what he does and have learned to respect the power of a gun. They also learned to understand the pomp of daddy going off to join in the shoot as well as the benefit when he brought home a pheasant. As with anything, there are different schools of thought and the rule should be sensibility - which is what whoever took the photo in the first place seemed to be lacking! Spiral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melba Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Personally I think that there are plenty of things that are acceptable for adults that I would find disturbing when shown with a young child, such as smoking or drinking and a gun is definitely in that league. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upsy Daisy Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 My gut feeling is that in the context of pest control it is acceptable for children to grow up being allowed to handle guns. It is a way of life for some people and, although it is distasteful to others, it is seen as just another outdoor pursuit amongst many I know. One family I knew used to strap their toddler into the Landrover in a car seat and take him lamping with them. To them it was no different from him seeing newborn lambs die or cows going off to slaughter. His role play activities at nursery were interesting at one point! Of course I wouldn't feel comfortable if a family were encouraging irresponsible behaviour around guns but maybe taking away the mystery and excitement by teaching children to respect them from being very young is a good way to keep them safe. If they are going to grow up around them then learning how to handle them safely is probably a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 My gut feeling is that in the context of pest control it is acceptable for children to grow up being allowed to handle guns. It is a way of life for some people and, although it is distasteful to others, it is seen as just another outdoor pursuit amongst many I know. One family I knew used to strap their toddler into the Landrover in a car seat and take him lamping with them. To them it was no different from him seeing newborn lambs die or cows going off to slaughter. His role play activities at nursery were interesting at one point! Of course I wouldn't feel comfortable if a family were encouraging irresponsible behaviour around guns but maybe taking away the mystery and excitement by teaching children to respect them from being very young is a good way to keep them safe. If they are going to grow up around them then learning how to handle them safely is probably a good thing. Your reply reminded me of a child we used to have whose father was a vet at Longleat Safari Park and who very graphically re enacted the autopsy of a baby tiger, even i learnt something that day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanne Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 My sons and I are vegetarians and my younger son goes to a village primary school. 1 of the boys he's been through preschool with (they're now in Yr 4) has a dad who is a gamekeeper, so for the other boy going shooting with dad & getting rabbits etc for dinner is as normal to him as going to preschool in the holidays & helping me make playdough & going to the health food shop in town to get vegetarian sausages is to my sons. Must admit, I was listening to the other boy read to me when they were in Yr 1 & he saw a rabbit in the book & told me his dad had killed a rabbit & I said 'Oh dear' before putting my professional hat on & asking what then happened to the rabbit (rabbit pie for dinner). Having said that, I guess the parents have chosen to add you & deputy as friends - or did the request come from you? - I think you can say to them in person next week 'I saw the photo of Jack with daddy's new gun on Facebook', and wait for the response just as you would if the photo had been 'I love dad's new dog' or 'I love dad's new car'. That way, you're opening the conversation for them to say 'Yes, we let him hold it for the photo but he knows not to touch it without daddy letting him & checking it's safe first, it's locked in the gun cupboard now'. Or, yes, they may say 'Oh, wasn't that great! He's got really good at loading it, we got up and came downstairs yesterday morning & Jack had the gun all ready loaded for us to go out', which would dictate a rather different response. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 I think that if it is considered in the light of the idea that the boy might be proud of his dad's new "thing" just as it might have been a car, say, if dad was really into them, then it might be a nice expression of parents spending time with their child. But if it is not something you are comfortable with, even if you are used to local people owning and using guns, it makes it difficult to know how to react. I have similar reactions when parents tell me that their 3 year old has a boy/girl friend, and talk about it so incessantly that eventually the 3 year old (who just though s/he had a friend before) starts to repeat it. My children never had boy/girl friends of this nature at that age and I don't expect them to have one now (early teens - ok maybe I'm deluding myself now!). Obviously if you feel the child could be in danger due to your knowledge of the family that's a different matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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