In Need Of Support

[Guest]

Hello lovely people. You got me through my troubles last year but alas it has happened again and I am in need of your kindness.

 

Committee are meeting with me tonight to let me know the results of a questionnaire they issued to staff, and me. Most of the questions were about me and how I run the preschool. This was issued without me knowing and then I got the same one some days after everyone else. Committee have then told the staff that they are meeting with me tonight but not to tell me that they know! This was said in front of parents.

 

All I did was ask committee to let me manage the staff and lead staff meetings without committee present- not such a daft demand! I've really not done anything wrong.

 

There has been a communication breakdown between staff recently (not on a personal level) but I don't think it helps a committee member being present at staff meetings as no one speaks! I asked the committee to let me talk to the staff and discuss ways to help each other and work through the issues. But committee ignored that and went ahead and issued this questionnaire.

 

I only have the support of my deputy and she tells me I do a great job, which is nice to hear, but I don't want to drag her into this.

 

I can't stop crying and I'm making myself ill - unfortunately I can't handle my brain when I get worn down. I enjoy my job and the preschool is successful and it's my name that the children call constantly during the sessions. It's me that the children tell me they love me. But that isn't enough to get me through the sessions knowing that the committee are wearing me down.

 

Sadly there is no one I can take to the meeting tonight - just a packet of tissues and the teeny bit of confidence I have left.

 

A woeful ppp

[Guest]

Gosh that's awful. I'm so sorry to hear your story.

 

They need to be very careful, it sounds to me like they are putting you in a position to claim constructive dismissal. Point them towards the ACAS helpline, as your employer they have a duty of care. If they are not happy with your performance there are procedures they should follow and definitely not these ones!

 

I'm not sure what else to say but best of luck.

[Guest]

Chin up. You know (and pointed out in your post) that you are doing a good job.

I'd say that the committee or some individual on it was out of order, going behind your back like that. Thankfully, not being committee run, I'm not sure where the boundaries lie as to who does what but that doesn't sound right to me. Still there must be some of them about to retire as their children move on. Hope it's the awkward ones.

[hali]

i am so sorry ppp - thats partly why i left just couldnt cope with parent commitee who make all the decisions - and dont know what they are talking about!` - (no disrespect to those who do - you know who you are ) its very ard, very upsetting and makes you ill - will keep fingers crossed for you tonight - keep strong!!!!!

[Inge]

On reading that all I wanted to do was give you a big hug and go with you for support...they should not really ask you to go without someone to support you in this..

 

 

 

Good advice from Suzie - if they are not happy this is not the way to go about it at all...

 

 

see how it goes this evening and if needed remember to ask for their policy/procedure on disciplinary issues... you should have a copy anyway and see if they are following or in breach of it.

 

not saying you will need it but if they are asking parents alarm bells are ringing.. any questionnaire about the pre-school should be generalised and not refer to any person or their performance it is not the place to ask.

 

I cannot see why they want a committee member at all meetings... a written report should be adequate... we never had one.. I had to report to both about meetings on each side... (got confusing sometimes), and you did request or ask if it was possible... ( afraid I would have arranged the meeting anyway without them.. but I can be a bit rebellious if I felt it was the best way to go for the setting)

 

Time to try to relax, take stock and think they will not be there forever.. ( or will they!) With the constant changes it was sometimes a relief to lose a committee and gain a new one...

 

Hard to do but you really need to be composed and take it in.. ask for it all in writing if need be after the meeting so you can read and take in what they are actually saying.. personally when I get anxious I don't really hear what is being said or make much sense of it. hopefully it will not be as bad as you obviously feel it will be.. fear of the unknown is a lot worse than the reality...well I always find it is..

 

 

Good luck

 

Inge

[louby loo]

What a horrible situation to be in - and for such high pay!

 

Not sure what to say other than to echo suzieC8 and get Acas involved if need be.

 

I'll be thinking of you, and remember we're all here if you need support later xxxxxxxxxx

 

Stand tall - and try not to let them walk over you- you know the children love you, so keep that in the back of your head - also think of them as ofsted rather than a committee 'and talk the talk' - you know your stuff!!

 

xx

[Rea]

Your committee should give you 5 days notice of a disciplinary meeting and I presume thats what this is to them at least. You must take someone with you tonight, a friend or someone who can take notes for you or just be a silent support, its your right. The disciplinary panel must consist of the Chair and 2 nominated committee collegueq who should maintain confidentiality at all times, something they havent done with their questionaire.

Your committee shouldnt be doing this, if they have a problem with you they should address it properly through appraisals and staff discipline procedures. They should not go behind your back and question the staff. They have a problem with you so they should sort it with you.

Please take someone with you tonight, its your right. Or phone the chair informing her of your rights and asking her to rearange the meeting in 5 days so you can have time to prepare.

Try not to stress over this, they'll be gone in a year or so and you are doing agreat job, the children know it.

[sunnyday]

Oh PPP - how awful for you........as Inge said, I just want to give you a big hug.

 

I have absolutely no experience of committee run groups - so I'm not really in a position to give advice - reading through the other posts they seem to be full of really useful ideas and information........

 

I will be thinking of you this evening..........sending all good wishes, lots of positive vibes and a huge hug..........

[Panders]

P3, I am gobsmacked at what is happening to you. They are so wrong in their dealings regardless of what their grievances may be to treat any member of staff like this is just shocking, let alone the Supervisor. To undermine you in this way is bullying.

 

As others have said if you go ahead with this meeting this evening take someone with you, or tell them that you would like to record the meeting on tape or voice recorder.

 

I feel you have every right to ask to have a staff meeting of just staff members - what are the committee so worried about? Why didn't your work colleagues tell the committee to stuff their questionaire?

 

Please come back on this evening and let us know how things have gone so we can all help you to put everything into some kind of perspective.

 

Sending lots of hugs and good vibes for this evening.

 

Panders

[Guest]

Enormous hobbit-y hugs. If you can't take someone with you tongiht - make sure someone is there for you afterwards with tea, chocolate and tissues. Try not to be intimidated, as it seems that's exactly how they want you to feel, and know that everyone here is routing for you

[Guest]

Thank you everyone. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to take with me and I don't think I can cope if it is prolonged any more.

I don't know what I have done wrong

[Tink69]

Didn't want to read and run. How awful for you, sending lots of hugs and hopefully it will be ok

 

Tink69

[louby loo]

Unfortunately I don't have anyone to take with me and I don't think I can cope if it is prolonged any more.

 

Then take a tape recorder..... explain your rights about having someone present with you and ask if they mind have the meeting recorded.

[Rea]

You need to delay it PPP, you are feeling bullied and anxious, a delay will allow you time to gather your thoughts and information.

Phone or text the chair, tell her they are required by law to give you 5 days notice and that everything they have to say or are thinking should remain confidential. They should also have written to you, telling you what it is they want to discuss.

Let them know that you will attend the meeting but you will be taking your deputy or if you're part of the PLA, ask your DW to attend. They dont have any say over meetings but they can advise both parties of the legalities surrounding them and she will be fair, she will also know the role of committees and will tell them if they are working outside of them if she thinks they are.

If you do go tonight, write down everything thats said, asking them to stop while you get everything on paper, ask them to sign it afterwards as a true representation of what was said.

If you are part of the PLA, tell the chair she is entitled to phone Lawcall for expert advice on employment law, if she tells them what her grievence is I'm sure they will be able to put her straight.

Let us know how you get on.

[Inge]

Ok.. take stock... not good to go alone but you need to get this sorted

 

 

Take a list of questions you 'may' want answered.. depending on what happens you may not need them but better to have something to refer to than forget and say I wish I had xxxx

 

 

things like

 

why was correct procedure not followed...

 

confidentiality.. do you feel this has been breached - if so raise the issue.. after all for parents to beasked question about a person in particular was not appropriate and should not have been done.

 

why do they object to you having staff meetings if it is to benefit the group

 

 

I am sure you get the gist... but do have something to refer to as it is easy to forget at the time...

 

and yes take notes and get them to sign at end as a true record...

 

Inge

Edited July 1, 2010 by Inge

[Guest]

will be thinking of you, postive thoughts coming your way.

 

i know exactly how you are feeling having worked in committee run pre-schools for years......i have had numerous problems over the years............................i'm just not sure if parent committees work anymore they were great years ago when pre-schools first began but today with all the new legislation they just dont understand!!!!!!!!

 

big hugs coming your way, good luck for tonight

[Rea]

I should have said... alll the stuff I've been banging on about is from the folder entitled 'Pre-schools as employers', its from the PLAs Business management series. As the Chair, I've gotten to reading it! I can also give you a quite good list of the role of the committee which details the roles and responsibilities of the chair, treasurer and secretary and it doesnt include sitting in on staff meetings!

People like that give people like me a bad name and I dont like it!!

Edited July 1, 2010 by Rea

[Gezabel]

Hope I am not too late to send a HUGE HUGE hug and an enormous refill of confidence

 

Easy for me to sit here and say don't let them get to you but go with your held head high ( we are all supporting you here) try if possible to hold the tears until it is all over,

You ARE a consumate professional and the evidence is there every day in the form of happy children.

 

Sending out questionnaires behind your back is underhand tactics and as for telling staff not to tell you well that is playground behaviour.

 

Listen to what they say make notes if you can and say you need time to digest whatever you discover tonight and you need time to collect your thoughts, take things on board before replying.

 

In an (highly understandable) emotional state you cannot be expected to respond appropriately today

 

Deep breaths, face the music and we are waiting here with tissues, tlc, chocolate and a stiff drink of your liking when you get back - together we will help/support you in any way we can to deal with the issues raised and move on.

 

Hang on in there it will get sorted - just think of all those 'I love you' children and try and stay strong for the meeting

[Fredbear]

Hi honey firstly how much notice have you had for the meeting tonight.

Secondly as a pre-school supervisor and ex chair myself many moons ago i know that sometimes things get very emotive because of a breakdown in communication.

If the answer to the first comment is in the last few days, or a week i would suggest you say that you are unable to attend this meeting and that you would like them to reconvene another meeting where you will also have representation, this is your right to attend or not. Your DW can support you on committee run issues and your chairperson should beable to deal with this without the humiliation of all the committee being present. Who does and how do your appraisals take place and in which area of the country do you work.

Also does your committee have early years experience and the qualifications necessary to make judgements ? Big hugs xx

[Guest]

Thanks guys, wish I could take you with me! I will go, I will take notes and I will be polite yet thoroughly knowledgeable! They don't have management experience or early years experience - which is why it's so infuriating. I will write down what is said and get them to sign.

 

I shall report back and I shall be thinking of you all stood behind me with grrrr faces.

 

thanks

 

ppp

[Rea]

Thanks guys, wish I could take you with me!

ppp

 

I wish I could come! Good luck and keep smiling, its how I got through the days, hours and minutes when I was playleader

[HappyMaz]

Thank you everyone. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to take with me and I don't think I can cope if it is prolonged any more.

I don't know what I have done wrong

Gosh - if I could I'd drive up or down to you and go with you myself!

 

Have you actually been told that this is a disciplinary meeting, P³? If not then they don't need to give you any notice, so if it was me (and I was feeling brave/composed enough) I'd ask at the outset if this is a disciplinary hearing. If they say yes, then I'd respectfully say that they might want to postpone the meeting to enable due process to be followed. If they say no, then I would make notes about what they have to say and then ask for time to formulate my response, especially if it was likely that I was going to get upset. If as you think they are going to criticise your performance then I think you have a right to ask for extra time to consider what their complaints are and to think about how you should proceed from here.

 

Union membership looks more and more appealing when I read of episodes like this.

 

Take care P³. You deserve so much better than this shabby treatment.

 

Maz

[eyfs1966]

Oh PPP, this is just so sad and I really really feel for you. I do hope that you can just grin and bear it for tonight. Try to stay calm, stick to your guns, and ring your LEA advisor and ACAS first thing in the morning. Tell your LEA that they NEED to support you.

 

Please, please let us know what is said, and how you are going to proceed from here. This just smacks of workplace bullying to me....hope I'm wrong. Just remember we are all there in spirit with you. Wish I could do more.

[Guest mukerjee1]

Thinking of you ppp - this just sounds so totally wrong! Best wishes for this pm.

[caro]

Sorry i didn't read this earlier but we are in the same county and I suspect you may be a PATA member rather that PLA, if that is so give them a ring for advice but remember to try BBIC (or whatever they are called now). Also worth talking to your early years advisor. Hope you are Ok.

Caro

[HappyMaz]

I suspect you may be a PATA member rather that PLA,

I'd forgotten you're in Gloucestershire, P³. You should've called Daddy Day Care and asked him to go with you.

 

Am thinking of you and wondering if your meeting is still going on.

 

Maz

[Gezabel]

Popping back to see if you are back - sending more positive vibes and will look again later - soooooooo hope you are OK that's the main thing

[Panders]

Me too, just popping in to see if there is any news.

[Guest]

Only just got home after several meetings but wanted to send you a big hug and to say feel free to use all of us as support, sounding off or whatever you need. We know that you are doing a great job even without being there to see it, just by the way you answer and respond to things on here. Hope tonight was less awful than anticipated but better to meet tonight than to be thinking about it all weekend.

 

Take care and keep in touch

Love and hugs

Nicky Sussex

[Fredbear]

Hi p3 hope your ok after last night and were able to sort out the issues, please let us know as you can see lots of people are rooting for you on here.

xx