Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 My 14 year old daughter has been asked to bring a photo in to school. It will then be sent off to Germany, with a letter, to a pupil in a school there. She's supposed to introduce herself - family details, hobbies etc. As parents we haven't been given any information other than that, or asked for permission for her to take part. My initial reaction is to refuse to allow her to send a photo. It goes against everything I've ever been taught about Safeguarding Children and everything we've taught her. Once that image is sent to a stranger we have no control over where or what it is used for! Am I over-reacting? or should I follow my instincts? Advice please!!!!!!!!!! Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 definately not over reacting. i wouldn't allow my daughter to do so although when looking at facebook- images are sent all over the world so i really don't know if we have any control any more. I think you should go with your instincts and contact the school- definately Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thanks! I've always been very open about Safeguarding issues with my daughter and discussed all the "what if's ........." with her - she started this conversation with "I know you won't like it......" Looks like I'll be contacting school tomorrow - oh, how my child will LOVE that Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 It doesn't sound as if they've thought it through, does it. What's it for? an exchange visit? tell her to draw a picture! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 My very first thoughts were no..........but then I thought back and many many years at school we did that very thing- and I remained in contact with a penfriend for many years. I wouldn't rule it out completely especially if it's something your daughter is keen to do but get more details from the school - but the photo I'd choose would be a standard 'school' photo - head and shoulders - etc. Young people are fast losing the skill of letter writing - and if we're honest it's lovely to get a letter in the post. xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 It doesn't sound as if they've thought it through, does it. What's it for? an exchange visit? tell her to draw a picture! Oh Cait - if you knew how she feels about Art & her drawing ability (or lack of, in her opinion!) Don't really know what photo is for - no exchange planned. As you say, I don't think the teacher has thought it through - which worries me on another level as she teaches the BTEC Childcare Course in school and will be teaching the Diploma in Society, Health & Development from September!!!! Hope she books onto a Safeguarding course between now and then Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I have to say I would be v. concerned too. Can't understand why the school haven't contacted parents. Is a photo really necessary at this stage. To counter my own comments though - I do sometimes worry that we are all so well trained that we begin to think there is a 'pervert' behind every bush - or is that just me? Sunnyday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Maybe your response will make her take stock of her training needs! I think you should definitely say something - and all the children should be drawing pictures - much more informal and amusing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfer Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I doubt for one minute that the teacher who has asked them to do this has not already checked this out with the school they are writing to. I would imagine it's some kind of partnership project where schools are twinned in order to provide opportunities for correspondence. Quite often the school will send awhole batch together and the partner school will be replying. However if you are worried just ring and ask the question. I corresponded with a girl from germany for about 2 years who I got in touch with through my school doing a similar thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I think the school needs to explain to the parents what the 'penpal' scheme is about, to allay any fears. This is what they should have done first, as then you could ask questions and have any concerns addressed. It may be a perfectly good thing to be doing and a valuable experience for the young people involved, such as the skills of letter writing and communicating with someone from another country. I can't imagine that some sort of risk assessment hasn't been carried out at school. Neither will one teacher have got involved in something like that off her own bat. The mistake someone has made is not keeping parents fully informed. Years ago this kind of thing was quite common where children had penpals, or schools made links with other schools in this country or other European countries. School exchanges still take place and families are vetted before those exchanges take place. I know that on the Chernobyl scheme all members of receiving families are CRB checked. I think my response would be to ask the school to provide me with more information about it, and explain my concerns before drawing too many conclusions without all the facts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 sorry, i must be the only one who thinks it would be ok, i know about safeguarding ect....am i wrong to think it would be ok a nice tastful photo, whats wrong with that???? should i re think my morals? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 No jules01, not the only one.. I too think sometimes we go too far.. as said how many pictures available on places like Facebook to such a wide audience, and sometimes others put them there without your knowledge.. Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 i agree too - think we are made to look far too deeply into things these days - no bad thing as long as we keep perspective Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 My feeling is that it sends mixed messages to the pupils. In PSHE they're told to protect their identity & image and not give this information to "strangers" by internet, text or photos on mobile phones but then they're asked to do this..... is it different because it's pen & paper? Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 i would hope the difference here is that the school will know exactly where they are going and who will receive them, unlike the internet where you can never be sure of identity of person Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I think your daughter is old enough to decide herself, explain it all to her good and bad points maybe and let her choose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I remember sending my picture off to Germany when I was 11 or 12 (it was a very long tome ago good thing I have a good memory) and in return we received a photograph of our penfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Is she being asked to provide her surname and address or are they being advised to do it all through the school, hence it being slightly more anonymous? I do think it is a sad state of affairs if links between schools in this way are viewed with such suspicion. I had a penfriend through my junior school who I kept in touch with for a number of years. Her name was Penny Stamp(s?) and she sent me photo's of her and her brother playing on a beach during her summer holidays! I know as parents we all want to keep our children safe, but you also need to help them differentiate between real risks and imagined risks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I think its a wonderful opportunity for your daughter, or any child, to make new friends. My son met a lad on an internet game and has learnt loads about his home country of Norway. I understand we have to be careful but a penpal, through the school can only be a good thing cant it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thanks for all your opinions. I, too, had foreign penpals when at school and I'm sure we did exchange photos at some stage. It just "feels" wrong somehow to encourage this without knowing more. So I've spoken to someone who sits on our local Safeguarding Children Board and they're not comfortable with it either and will take it up with the school direct. There is a policy for photographic images and their use by schools. Risk assessments and parental permission should be part of this. Think I may have opened a can of worms.................. Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 There is a policy for photographic images and their use by schools. Risk assessments and parental permission should be part of this. Think I may have opened a can of worms.................. Well that's a good thing, nona - every system needs a thorough test every now and then! I think once you know exactly how this scheme is to be run by both schools you'll feel more able to make an informed decision. At fifteen I would think most children are able to express their opinion and understand some of the issues involved, but they are not really at an age where they can make this decision for themselves, and I would have thought parental permission would be necessary to send off photographs, no matter how well organised and controlled the exercise is going to be. I take everyone's points about how sad it is that the first thing we worry about is all the 'baddies' in the world, but on the other hand if a scheme like this is making a parent concerned for their child's safety or privacy then something has gone wrong with the planning somewhere and these concerns must be allayed before it can go ahead. Perhaps this is a decision this teacher has taken alone and has not sought advice or guidance, but I would have thought that schools are well used to this kind of scheme and would have all the detail worked out! Will be interested to hear how things proceed nona! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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