laura Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Having a bad evening, got my 6 year olds school report, and it comes across as being really negative. It's very hard, I teach at the school, I know his teacher really well, I love her to bits and she was the perfect teacher for him. He finds the academic stuff so hard, I know all that, he is also incredibly sensitive, very emotional, cries easily and she's put lots about this in the personal section at the end. It's really upset me, I know all that, we've discussed it, he's come on so much in confidence over the last couple of months - tonight he even talked to the barber which he would never have done before! He is well behaved, polite, kind, popular, never in trouble, creative, loves science, i know he finds litracy and nuneracy difficult I don't know what to do, I feel I should say something, I didn't need it writing down but it's there in black and white for the rest of his life. Plus he did not do well in the stupid phonics test.... I hate to think of the pressure he's going to face as he goes through the school, it's not easy being a teacher mum, just want to cry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Oh bless you. Is there not a slip there to fill out to mention how you are feeling? Whilst its tricky I am sure teaching at the school, as a mum to teacher conversation maybe you need to say how you feel. Alternativey leave it and read it through again at a later point to see if it still seems as bad then. If it does do something about it. I try hard, very hard sometimes, to put only positives in the reports. Cheer up and try not to worry. If your son has come on and his confidence has increased this is the important thing to keep in your mind, not some comments on a report. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliewilk Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Great advice from scarlettangel. Sending you a big hug x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lashes2508 Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 oh dear , i understand how you feel as my son went through difficulties during his early years with emotional issues and for many years this was always reflected/commented on and I was a governor at the school but I did make my feelings known as a PARENT - which you must remember when it comes to your child that is what you are too first and foremost and you have every right to feel upset but as Skarlett angel has said reread it later and see if you still feel it is as bad but do say something or if easier ( and assuming ( maybe wrongly ) that you have a partner who could read it through and maybe do the saying or writing of the letter. Please don't hide how you feel , emotions are better out in the open for the benfit of all concerned, I too had a crap week so will share my tears with you and then when i finshed my large glass of pinot a few smiles too, hugs x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Oh laura - sending a huge virtual hug x I do think putting it to one side and reading again tomorrow is a good idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 I could never bear to see anything about my children which seemed negative, and it used to make me feel ill with concern, so I know just how you feel. These are our beloved children. Without seeing what is written it is hard to comment, but from what you say about his teacher she seems a caring and lovely person. Could you go through the report and see what the positive comments are, as we often pick up on the negative and not see the positive. He sounds a really lovely chap and if he is creative and loves science then he is an inquisitive and imaginative boy who has a lot going for him. I would go and talk with his teacher and have a frank discussion about him and how you feel. Has she perhaps not balanced his report with what he does well and what he needs to develop? He is only 6 and I don't think that this report is something that will affect him unduly as he has many years to go, and he will continue to progress in confidence as time goes by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForestFlo Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 It is soo hard being a teacher mum - I think one of the biggest problems is that we see through many comments, we also see the bigger picture and the way it can affect in the future. I remember writing reports and I always tried to be so positive and would phrase things in a certain way, even for my most challenging pupils, yet now when I see these comments written about my child and their friends I find myself decoding "teacher speak" iyswim! Want to also add that the phonics test is the biggest load of rubbish I have seen in a long time - Ive had so many discussions with so many people not one has been postive. Keep your chin up - it sounds like your son has made the most fantastic progress - if oly schools would focus on the importance of PSED as much as we do in the EYFS. Put the report away , reread it another day, then send your comment slip back underlining how proud you are of the progress your child has made this year. Take care Kx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Wise words already, sending a virtual hug.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 excellent advice given, big hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 It is for exactly reasons like this that we handed out the reports to the parents on parents eve, so everyone could talk about what had been written. Try to look at the positives Laura, as you say that there is not really anything that you do not know and remember that the teacher may actually have written this several weeks ago and the progress you yourself have noted in the past few weeks may not have been evident in the classroom at that time. I am sure that with the lovely caring mum that your son has, he will do well as you will give him the love and confidence to develop into a super young man. Hugs and hope things seem better in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 sorry you! how hard. yes i wonder if you are reading it with 'teacher speak' eyes, and reading between the lines? look again tomorrow or sunday. your son sounds lovely, and i would happily have him in my class! phonics screening test is passed by only 1/3 of children i was told.. how motivating for a little child..... she should have put about any improvements too, and i always try to thank parents for their support. if you still feel the same a calm chat is in order Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sn0wdr0p Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Bless you, I felt much the same on Wednesday after receiving my youngest sons report and my husband and I invited to a meeting with the head and his teacher today. I find it very hard as well when I have a professional relationship with them via work and also as a governor. However, after our meeting today I feel much more positive as finally they seem to have listened to my concerns about him and are refering him to the psychologist to assess if he is autistic (just like one of his brothers) and also they agree he may have Irlen syndrome and this is also being followed up. His class teacher who is new to the school appears to have a lot of insight and is really supportive and is going to take a much more individualised approach to engaging him. I am really glad I went in and talked it through with them rather than worry about it. One point that came up in conversation with the head was that the pass rate for the phonics test was a lot lower than they expected but it came across that she was unimpressed with children so young being tested. I was rather horrified a few weeks ago when one of the schools my out of school club collects from had an hours after school phonics teaching sessions for three nights!!! After a whole day at school!!!! And they are only five years old!!!! My advice would be to tell his teacher you are a little concerned about the content of his report -he sounds a lovely little boy and maybe what was in her mind came across a little differently on paper. Hopefully she will put your mind at rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura Posted July 7, 2012 Author Share Posted July 7, 2012 Thank you everyone for your lovely words. I do feel better this morning, she has written some lovely things about him too. I do worry about him, I've always worried he was somewhere on the autistic spectrum, athough it is the lower end, and I'm also worried he is dyslexic, but that is so expensive to get tested for, and the school won't do anything. Us teacher mums know too much I suppose... Thanks again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Laura, my son is dyslexic. When he was 10 he had a reading age of 6 and struggled in every subject because so much relies on literacy. Roll forward 12 years and he has just completed his third year at university studying architecture. He is in the top 2 in his year at his university and the top 250 in the country (he has been nominated for a very prestigious award for which there are only 250 entrants in the country). So don't think that dyslexia need be a hindrance in the future if it turns out that your son has this. :1b 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 I live in a family of dyslexics! (by the way do you know it is on the autistic spectrum?) as to the testing have you spoken to your doctor? in most areas there are other pathways to testing than through the two main bodies? (in our area there is a testing centre which is available through the referal system) you may also be able to get a private tutor to do the testing and that is a better price. I would also say do it NOW! most children with dyslexia can be diagnosed from 4 but are not noticed until year 3 in all that time their self esteem is going down and this takes time to recover (especially if you have a sensitive sole!)... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Dyslexia can be an associated problem for some people on the Autistic Spectrum, along with many other conditions, such as dyspraxia, ADHD, Downs Syndrome etc. but it is not an ASC in itself. ASC is a very specific problem with socialisation and communication. http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/related-conditions.aspx I agree with Finleysmaid that it might be an idea to go through your Dr if you are worried. The sooner any specific difficulties are tackled the better the outcome, especially for building up confidence. I do think that we sometimes expect too much of children too soon. I have seen so many times that children we were concerned about in KS1 have gone on to do really well later on, so perhaps they just weren't quite 'ready' when they were younger. I'll duck in case a Government minister is reading this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Oh Jacqui I couldn't agree more and hope a minister is listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Oops sorry Jacquie missed the "e" off your name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 No worries Fredbear. Actually you are able to edit a post for a short while after you have made one. The edit facility is at the bottom next to Multiquote. On the other hand I can just wave my Moderators wand and correct myself. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catma Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 YOur local dyslexia association may have useful contacts? http://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/membership/directories/lda-directory.html cx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura Posted July 7, 2012 Author Share Posted July 7, 2012 Thank you for the advice. I think I may go to the GP first and see what they say. My sister has been teaching Year 2 for the past 7 years and she says that its amazing the progress some of her boys make in the year, going from how my son is now to reading and writing really well. So much is expected of them at such an early age. He is is so bright verbally, can remember thing that happened when he was 2, he loves to construct, invent, create... this morning he has turned a box into a car that goes over his body, painted the body work, steering wheel,,, it just doesn't add up to his poor academic skills... he can see the word 'my' on every page of a book and still not remember it by the end.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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