No Mummy - Two Daddies

[Cait]

So the children enjoyed potting some violas for Mothering Sunday this week and proudly took them home. One little boy has no Mummy as she died in August so we didn't put any 'Happy Mother's Day' label on his, but he took one for Gran, who is 'Mummy' at the moment. (Mum's Mum).

 

However, we have a little boy who has been adopted by a gay couple and has two Daddies. He did one as well, of course and gave it to one of the Daddies when they collected him.

 

But now I'm starting to wonder, when it's Father's Day does this little boy make two of whatever we do? Do we then let all the children make 2 if they want to so as to avoid the questions 'why's he got two?' etc? That's going to make whatever we choose to do a lot more toned down than usual as we can't allow for twice as many photo frames or whatever,

 

Anyone got any great ideas of what we could do that wouldn't be hard to resource for potentially 86???

[Rea]

I'd do one. You did one for mothers day so having two for fathers day might seem like you're saying they are only dad's and not able to have a mom role.

Have you asked the dad's? They might be only too glad to have some positive interaction.

But I am guessing :rolleyes:

[sunnyday]

Yes, I agree with Rea - I would make just one.......

[Cait]

Hmm, yes I agree with that. Daddy (we don't see Dad) seems almost embarrassed that other parents won't chat to him as freely if they 'knew'. So just doing one would perhaps not draw attention. When he took the plant he said 'that's nice, well I guess we could give it to Auntie P' and I said 'well why not keep it yourself, and just plant it in the garden' So I don't know whether he sees himself as having a 'mothering' role.

[catma]

Each person doesn't need a single card, he could write it to multiple people?

Cx

[Cait]

We don't tend to do cards, although it's an option. Cardstock and bits and bobs are available all the time and children are forever making them

[JacquieL]

One card for two people seems fine to me and will be much appreciated. As far as Mother's Day is concerned its original name is Mothering Sunday and anyone can do the 'mothering' can't they in all these alternative families?

[Cait]

Well that's what I said to Daddy. I think initially it was something to do with the Mother Church - or have I got that wrong?

[Gezabel]

No I think you are right Cait.

 

Many moons ago children at quite a young age went off to work 'in service' and instead of attending their 'mother church' they attended the church nearest where they worked known as their 'daughter church'. It was generally agreed that these children should return to their 'mother church' on the fourth Sunday in Lent. I think over time the reason for celebration has changed along the way, in bygone years the children did go home to see their mothers. Maybe the religious and 'church' connection isn't quite so prominent now just a day for celebrating mothers! There was also some link to the Virgin Mary being a mother but not sure about that!

[Inge]

and those in service were allowed to make a Simnel cake to take home to their mothers on this day..

 

Mothering Sunday is also known as Refreshment Sunday as the fasting rules were relaxed for the day.

[JacquieL]

I think Woodlands summarise Mothering Sunday really well

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/easter/mothers.htm

[SueJ]

We usually have the children make one of whatever but sometimes the children genuinely have two daddies (the natural one and the one currently living with mummy) and or two mummies or two daddies (we have had several children who are from families where the adults are civil partners) so they get to do two if it is appropriate. If needs be we will have a "conversation" with the mummies/daddies to make sure that we get it right. I have given up writing Happy Mothering Sunday/Fathers Day if we do cards and the children do a card just saying love XXX as we also have families who for cultural/religious reasons find these "celebrations" offence but the children still want to do what the others are doing so we tweak things around a bit to make sure that it can still be done without causing offence. This also gives the adult supporting the children a chance to talk to them on a 1:1 basis about what they are doing - who they are doing it for etc without necessarily referencing mothering sunday/fathers day etc e.g., for mothering sunday where it wasn't an "appropriate" celebration the children discussed with the adult how it is lovely to show appreciation for your mummy

[Lyanne]

We ask the parent we see most often what they'd prefer and find most appropriate. I asked a friend who is in a civil partnership and they said they'd prefer to be asked rather than have assumptions made about what they'd prefer...