Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 (edited) Does anyone else think that parents are toilet training their children later and later. I know we shouldn't compare but my own children were all toilet trained by 2yrs - it seems 3plus is more the norm now - do you agree? I don't want to rush children who aren't ready into being trained but there does need to be some lead from the adult doesn't there? How do others support children with potty training in settings when parents haven't already made a start? Edited March 24, 2009 by Guest
Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Some of the children in my setting ask to sit on the potty even though they are still in nappies. We let them sit on the potty and then tell parent what happened. I think when younger children see older children using the toilet they are more interested to try it themselves. If the child shows no sign of wanting to sit on the toilet/potty then I leave it up to parent when to start potty training. I have quite a lot of 2 year olds at school and most are already potty trained(quite lucky, may not be so lucky next time). mrsW
Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I think nappies are just too comfortable now and some parents are just too lazy or 'busy'. also, gone are the days when you had to be out of nappies before you could start pre-school!
sunnyday Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I think nappies are just too comfortable now and some parents are just too lazy or 'busy'. also, gone are the days when you had to be out of nappies before you could start pre-school! When my own children were in nappies - it was terry towelling, safety pins, dreadful rubber pants - couldn't wait to be rid of them!!! sunnyday
Cait Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 You and me both Sunnyday! We have a little boy at Preschool who was with us all day every day from May last year and by July we had him dry all day and asking for a 'wee' when he needed one. He came back in September, still in nappies and we were amazed! But saddened too as he wasn't asking any more for the toilet and seemed to have totally lost interest. He still has a baby bottle - with tea in it which he arrives with in the morning. He only comes 3 days this year as mum's job changed. Last week he arrived in pants and mum seemed thrilled. He stayed dry all day the three days (Tue Wed & Thur) but today arrived in nappies again! He said he 'peed hisself' so obviously Mum decided he's not ready! Goodness!
louby loo Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I think nappies are just too comfortable now We have a little girl coming up to three - she told me last week 'I'm always going to wear a nappy - because I like them!' xxx
Cait Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 At least with the old terries there was an incentive to use the potty as they must have been uncomfortable when wet!
blondie Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 we also have children wearing nappies aged over three years and even one who will be going onto school in september - we have worked with the family and other services and at last she is now in pants!!! i think its all to easy for lots of parent sto carry on with nappies or (my bug bear) pull ups!
Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I couldn't agree more! Funnily enough, we were going down our register today looking at how many children we have in nappies as we need to buy new nappy baskets. We were shocked at some of the ages of the children we have still in nappies! The thing is, most of the children will sit on the potty/toilet when we change their nappies at nursery and often do a wee but their parent's say "he's not ready" IF his nappies are dry then he does a big wee on the loo then I'm sure he'd be fine in pants really! We had a little girl in pants today for the first day, she's 2yr 8months. When mum came, we said "She's done brilliantly, she's been asking to go and everything, really really good! Just 2 accidents when we didn't quite make it in time" Mum said "Oh...2 accidents, I really don't know what we're going to do- I really don't think this is going to happen you know, I can't cope with it, all the washing and looking after the baby as well. I think she might need to go back in nappies for a while" GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Honestly, 2 accidents- we were really proud of her for that! Sorry, rant over, this is just very topical for us at the moment!
dottyp Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Most of our two year olds start with nappies but usually by 2.5yrs we are encouraging 'mum' to start potty training if they haven't already taken the lead. We ask if they want to bring their 'own' potty to preschool which usually works quite well and make sure they pack plenty of spare clothes in a bag. Having said this, all of our two year olds out of nappies went straight onto the toilet (maybe something to do with the fact I didn't put the potty out for a few weeks)
Guest Mrs Tiggy Winkle Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Just been through this with the little boy I nanny for, who is 3 this month. He was very resistant initially as he doesn't like change no matter what it concerns. For the first few days it was all quite traumatic and would have been very easy to give it up as a bad job, but equally we probably would have met with the same resistance next time round! I got there on the second morning and mum said 'I haven't had time to do the battle with him over pants so he's still in his nappy at the moment.' Went upstairs with the expectation that he WOULD be wearing the pants, and gave him the choice between two pairs - no battle involved! Anyway about 3 weeks on and he is reliably dry all day and will now ask to go - we are getting there with 'poos' and all the trauma is now long forgotten.
Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Thanks for all the replies - thought maybe I was being a bit harsh but seems we're all in agreement that unless there is good cause most 3yr old should be out of nappies. The child I'm thinking of specifically is 3 in 2 weeks. I raised potty training at our last review and asked if mum was happy with me introducing the idea of the potty - stories, having it out, trying sitting on it to see "if anythings coming"at nappy change time etc she agreed but felt he wasn't really ready "we'll do it over the summer". He's more than capable of being dry - goes off quietly to do his poo and then waits for me to change him happily so I've started suggesting that he tries to do a poo on the potty now and not in his nappy but he'll probably just think I'm being mean unless it's supportd at home too
Cait Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Wouldn't this job be so much simpler without the parents! Does anyone else think this sometimes????/
Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Wouldn't this job be so much simpler without the parents! Does anyone else think this sometimes????/ HAHAAHAAAHA
Guest pamgreen Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 This is an interesting topic, but I guess we have to look at each child as an individual and that they are all going to get out of nappies eventually. My own nephew who is at my nursery was 3 last September and his mum only recently started toilet training him, but he has been fantastic he has gone from nappies to using the loo and we have had no accidents. It has shown to me that when a child's nervous system is developed enough that is the right time to get rid of the nappies.
Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 What a topical debate! My youngest son was 2 in Dec and I am trying to get him out of nappies, as my other 2 were out of them before they were 2. In his defence he was premature so I left him a little longer till he should have been born ( I am very generous this time round!!!). He attends nursery 4 days per week where some of the staff have been fantastic he is only having 2 accidents on average but there is one member who just keeps banging on about him not being ready, yet a little one almost 3 has a dozen accidents per day! Am I doing right or wrong I am questioning myself now??? Confused ( but it doesnt take much lol) Vicky
Guest Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 i think that as long as the child is showing signs that they are ready,Ie long periods of dry napppy and have the language to ask for the toilet it doesn't matter if the child is 18months or older. but if the child is not ready they you will feel relly down hearted and not want to try if they are having lots of accidents. It does help if you have the parents on side and they are doing the pottying at home when they are not in the setting otherwise you are fighting a losing battle.
dottyp Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Cait - give me a room full of under 5's anyday - far less hassle
Inge Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 free potty training charts a site which claims to be 'for all your potty training needs' Inge
Cait Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 thanks Inge - might be a useful link for the newsletter
Guest Agyness Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Having a 'play' potty in the room to sit on, not use as a loo can help as some time or another a child will find how enjoyable excretion is in a squatting position on it (albeit it in their nappy)! Also, when they are ready, pre-verbal even, they can point to the potty and indicate a need to 'go' to which adult response can be made as appropriate.
HappyMaz Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Wouldn't this job be so much simpler without the parents! Does anyone else think this sometimes????/ Oh dear. Seems as if the parent's place is generally in the wrong!
Inge Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Having a 'play' potty in the room to sit on, not use as a loo can help as some time or another a child will find how enjoyable excretion is in a squatting position on it (albeit it in their nappy)! Also, when they are ready, pre-verbal even, they can point to the potty and indicate a need to 'go' to which adult response can be made as appropriate. but this can also have consequences.... one of our children pooed in the play potty which was doll sized! while playing in the home corner... so fast no one could stop it! so if doing this be very very aware of the children... Inge
Guest Agyness Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 lol superb role play hey Inge? Did the child have to take off a nappy to do so? Was the child communicating a desire to use a potty and subsequently was enabled to do so in the appropriate place?
HappyMaz Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 lol superb role play hey Inge? Did the child have to take off a nappy to do so? If so I'm surprised they didn't ask for the gloves and apron too!
emmajess Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Am I one of the bad parents??? I started pottey training with my daughter when she was about 15 months and I remember it being pretty hideous and stressful! I was at home with my 3 month old at the time and the perod of not knowing whether or not she was going to wee on the floor today, once, twice or three times, seemed to last forever!! (I could be remembering it with sludge tinted glasses! now my son is 2 and a half and I am teaching reception full time and my mum looks after him in the mornings and my husband in the afternoons. I feel it's a lot to put on my mum and husband, so planned to leave it till the 6 weeks summer holiday when I'm at home full time - he won't be 3 till October and wont start nursery till he's 3. (I think some of this stems from guilt that I'm having to work at all, let alone full time, so want to do the 'big' parenting jobs myself.... ) Do you think I'm leaving it much too late? I kind of figured that if I left it that late and I was consistently there it wouldn't take too long?? Am I a very bad mummy???
HappyMaz Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Do you think I'm leaving it much too late? I kind of figured that if I left it that late and I was consistently there it wouldn't take too long??Am I a very bad mummy??? I think you know your son best of all and my gut feeling is that you're probably right: if you leave it until you think he's really ready it should be less traumatic than if you were to do it too early. Of course you're not a bad mummy - you're just doing what you think is right for your son. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing your best! Maz
emmajess Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I think you know your son best of all and my gut feeling is that you're probably right: if you leave it until you think he's really ready it should be less traumatic than if you were to do it too early. Of course you're not a bad mummy - you're just doing what you think is right for your son. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing your best! Maz Thanks Maz - it's always goodto have someone tell you you're not doing completely the wrong thing. Oh and oops - I meant 27 months rather than 15 months!! Just a year out, but hey!
Guest Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 I do not think you are a bad mummy in the slightest for making that decision. My only worry when leaving it until children are more aware is that for SOME children (and you know your child best), especially maybe those in daycare - not much privacy - they do not want to use a potty or toilet in front of others, they have become more aware of their bodies and see pooing and weeing slightly differently than a 3yr old. Your post reminded me how important it is to remember that as parents we all do things differently and most of us are finding our feet and feeling our way along. I think I was just feeling a bit fed up of some of the issues that arise from working with parents
Alison Posted April 4, 2009 Posted April 4, 2009 Ok I agree parents are leaving children later before potty training but I dont think thats a bad thing, in general the older child grasps the concept better and has few accidents once they are out of nappies, I left both my children, (who both wore terry nappies so I know it wasnt a comfort thing) one was 3 the other was 2 1/2 and once they started to use the toilet within days the nappies where off day and night and neither had any accidents I advocate not rushing potty training I feel that early potty training is more luck than readiness I find it frustrating when a parent brings a child in and says they are potty trained can I take the child to the loo in 10 minutes cause that when they are next due to go then if a member of staff is not available to do that or the child refuses to go because they are engrossed in their play ithen ts accident after accident because we have missed the time slot and the child gets upset at having acciednts
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