Child starting school

[Guest1]

Hi guys I'm new here and my first post is about a worry I have regarding my son and a development delay

He is 5 and starting school after the summer but he cannot tie his own shoelaces or zip up his jacket so I'm just wondering if the school will help with that as I'm slightly worried. I'm not so worried about the shoelaces because I trust that the school will tie his shoelaces for him as they won't want him to become a trip hazard when outside due to untied shoelaces. 

Its the jacket I'm more worried about so can you guys reassure me regarding the fact that they'll zip his jacket for him when necessary :).

 

After school is less of a worry because I can zip the jacket myself when he comes out of school and then put up the hood if it's raining etc.

[BenTapestrySupport]

Hi and welcome to the forum. 

One thing I would suggest is to just mention to the teacher that you know that he hasn't yet mastered the skills mentioned, so that they're aware. I would very much doubt that he will be the only child who can't do these things though in the class, and all the adults there will be on hand to support them all. 

For the coat there is a way to help children to put on their coats. Before teaching in early years, I'd never heard of this method, but then I saw lots of children in my class doing it, and I was so impressed! This video is a good demonstration of it: https://youtu.be/LoSGaJCWhOw

Appreciate that this may not be suitable for all children, but I thought I would share in case it helps. 

 

Hope the transition to school goes well for him and that he enjoys his new class. 

[Froglet]

Hi,

Welcome!

I would second that he definitely won't be the only child who can't do these things! The video Ben shared is great and several children in my class use that technique. I would suggest that if you do that as part of it you get your son to check behind him.  Cloakroom spaces are often small and it's very easy for a child to 'swipe' another with their coat as they turn it over their head.

The adults in school absolutely will support with these things but building independence is a key part of being at school and you can help a huge amount with that at home in lots of ways. Just saying 'have a go yourself first' to your child is a great start. Then 'I'll start the zip off and you can finish it'. Also giving specific pointers and praise for them so rather than just praising the zipping up maybe praise 'You held your coat at the bottom, that makes it much easier, well done.' Making your thinking out loud can also help - there are so many times as adults we just do things and don't realise the many steps/thoughts we have to help us achieve those things. For example talking through your own choices e.g. "It's raining so I'm definitely going to need to do my coat up, let me put the things in my hands down first so I can hold the zip properly. It's fiddly because it's small so I might need to try more than once." 

 

[Guest1]

Thanks both :).

He's a very outdoorsy child, we go on nature walks lots and I'm even considering getting him started with beavers or something similar so he can go on camping trips away etc; golf or football is another thing I'd like him to start too as he likes both of these sports and tbh these activities would help him become more independent.

I actually considered putting him to a forest school too but decided in the end not to as I wouldn't be sure how he'd cope in freezing winter etc but I feel guilty because, as I said above, he loves the outdoors.

 

I think I'm going to enjoy posting on this forum because you seem pleasant and very helpful :D.

 

[Mouseketeer]

Hi 👋 

Not to many of our school leavers could join their zips before we finished, we have a box of zippers, button cuffs, buckles to practice during the summer term as we find when they really need to be practicing those self help skills they’ve stopped wearing coats and heavy outdoor shoes, as above little steps and lots of praise and it will suddenly just click.

As for laced shoes, if it isn’t school policy they wear lace up shoes go for Velcro shoes, it will help him be independent and feel he can do it himself 😊 

[Cait]

Yes, I just came on here to suggest the Velcro.  I think it’s madness that children’s shoes are still made with laces, to be honest.   Obviously the designers have never been put in a room of 32 children getting dressed after PE! 🤭

Another thing to reassure you is that there’s still plenty of time to practice the coat.  It’s amazing what a tube of smarties can do for perseverance as well.  (Do that bit and I’ll give you a smartie) by the end of the tube he should have mastered it completely and the reward is what’s left in the tube, or a complete tube.    
 

Edited August 5, 2023 by Cait

[Mouseketeer]

Exactly Cait! and who on earth thought those little ankle boots with the zip on the inside were a good idea 🤷‍♀️
 

I ask parents to consider independence when buying new shoes.

[sunnyday]

I have one word - dungarees - oh my life no, just no 🤦‍♀️

[louby loo]

'Pop up' vest's on a toilet training child! 😭

[Guest1]

On 05/08/2023 at 10:12, Cait said:

Yes, I just came on here to suggest the Velcro.  I think it’s madness that children’s shoes are still made with laces, to be honest.   Obviously the designers have never been put in a room of 32 children getting dressed after PE! 🤭

Another thing to reassure you is that there’s still plenty of time to practice the coat.  It’s amazing what a tube of smarties can do for perseverance as well.  (Do that bit and I’ll give you a smartie) by the end of the tube he should have mastered it completely and the reward is what’s left in the tube, or a complete tube.    
 

Oh there's a thought, I actually don't know what the school policy is but I will probably get shoes with velcro as that will be a lot easier, as you say :).

I will go shopping for "back to school" or in our case "getting prepared for first day of primary school" so shoes and jacket is one of many things on the shopping list so feel free to post recommendations (be it brands etc) of shoes and jackets worth considering :).

[Froglet]

I don’t know but I get the impression from friends that it’s pretty hard to find school shoes that aren’t Velcro for this age! 
 

Coat wise I can’t recommend any specific brands but I would avoid those double layer ones with a fleece inner and waterproof outer. They’re marketed as being good for more seasons but they are a nightmare - the inner sleeves get detached, the zips attaching the layers come undone and suddenly it feels like you’re trying to put on a very confusing octopus (and that’s just from the teacher’s point of view)!

When it comes to shorts/trousers try to avoid the ones which have a metal hook and bar fastening and just get elasticated ones. Don’t worry if you can’t children seem to get to grips with them quickly and many just ignore them and pull trousers up/down without undoing them!

I don’t know what your school’s policy on jumpers/tops with logos on is but I would make use of any second hand uniform sales school have ~ uniform is meant to be practical and comfy and children grow quickly! If it’s remotely possible try to keep one ‘best’ jumper until school photo day (there is bound to be one in the autumn term), send him in the best one for that and then just have it in his normal cycle of things.

Lastly… name everything and I mean everything (and check that it’s still visible regularly). Even if the children don’t change for PE yet you wouldn’t believe the things they take off and then how far they can spread them around a school! I’ve lost track of the number of times people have asked me to find a lost, unnamed item of clothing and been told (by child and adults) that it’s age 5-6! If they have a non-uniform day do your best to name what he wears then too even if it’s just initials written on a label. There will be more than one Spider-Man and they will take parts off during the day!

Apologies if this has got a bit ‘ranty’ as Cait says I’m pretty sure children’s clothing designers have never had to manage a crowd of them in a classroom!

[sunnyday]

Youngest grandson has just finished his Reception year - they often call by on their way home from school - in the early days I would say "oh you had PE today then darling" - everything, but everything was on back to front and inside out! 🤦‍♀️🤣

More of a worry is that I can usually hazard a guess about what my 8 year old granddaughter has had for lunch - she wears most of it if it involved any sort of sauce! 🤣

[Guest1]

On 08/08/2023 at 09:32, Froglet said:

I don’t know but I get the impression from friends that it’s pretty hard to find school shoes that aren’t Velcro for this age! 
 

Coat wise I can’t recommend any specific brands but I would avoid those double layer ones with a fleece inner and waterproof outer. They’re marketed as being good for more seasons but they are a nightmare - the inner sleeves get detached, the zips attaching the layers come undone and suddenly it feels like you’re trying to put on a very confusing octopus (and that’s just from the teacher’s point of view)!

When it comes to shorts/trousers try to avoid the ones which have a metal hook and bar fastening and just get elasticated ones. Don’t worry if you can’t children seem to get to grips with them quickly and many just ignore them and pull trousers up/down without undoing them!

I don’t know what your school’s policy on jumpers/tops with logos on is but I would make use of any second hand uniform sales school have ~ uniform is meant to be practical and comfy and children grow quickly! If it’s remotely possible try to keep one ‘best’ jumper until school photo day (there is bound to be one in the autumn term), send him in the best one for that and then just have it in his normal cycle of things.

Lastly… name everything and I mean everything (and check that it’s still visible regularly). Even if the children don’t change for PE yet you wouldn’t believe the things they take off and then how far they can spread them around a school! I’ve lost track of the number of times people have asked me to find a lost, unnamed item of clothing and been told (by child and adults) that it’s age 5-6! If they have a non-uniform day do your best to name what he wears then too even if it’s just initials written on a label. There will be more than one Spider-Man and they will take parts off during the day!

Apologies if this has got a bit ‘ranty’ as Cait says I’m pretty sure children’s clothing designers have never had to manage a crowd of them in a classroom!

All very good suggestions and one worth considering :).

I will have a look online to see what Velcro shoes I can get and if not then I will get the school to help with the laces or just tie them in a double knot and let him put them on and off without untying them.

In terms of jackets, I always get a one layered waterproof warm jacket, usually from Go outdoors as, like you say, I'm not keen on anymore than one layer, tbh he will be warm enough with one layer when it's fastened up plus it is easier for him to move about freely if it's just the one layer and tbh these jackets are good quality and probably last a while.

I will also take on board what you say about jumpers and trousers etc so a huge thank you once again :D.

[Guest1]

I did manage to get a pair of shoes but they ate laced so it looks like his teachers will be kept busy at break/lunchtimes as they will need to tie the laces for him.

We also managed to get a one layered waterproof jacket from GO outdoors and we have been working with him teaching him how to zip but he is finding it hard to connect the zip and gets frustrated so I think he may ask his teacher to zip it up for him too because that's what he's been doing whilst we're teaching him, he'll attempt 3 times then come over to me and say "I can't do this so you zip it please".

[finleysmaid]

Hi Guest1 sorry haven't been around for a while so welcome. In general what are your sons fine motor skills like? if he isn't very dextrous then doing a zip may be tricky. you might be able to sew a couple of bits of velcro to his jacket so that he can do it himself . Laces are a bit of a nightmare and im afraid i don't allow them in my setting (younger age group!) if he's going to have laces i would definitely spend time teaching him that skill it's not really fair to expect a teacher to do up 30 pairs of shoe laces they just don't have the time! Remember he is going to school...it's quite different from nursery/pre-school the ratios are often 1-15 or even 1-30 at times 

As for tips on zipping firstly make sure he always finishes the job so you do the connection then let him pull it up. taking off he should be able to do himself i suspect. 

we talk about the train and the train track ...so making the tunnel first (Putting the 2 ends of the zip together, usually left side ) then sliding the train in to the tunnel (metal end) and pulling the train up the train track (zipper) . Finger placement is the most difficult job as they tend to put their finger on the 'track' so then the zip won't go up. (probably doesn't make sense!!)

[Guest1]

On 14/08/2023 at 11:16, finleysmaid said:

Hi Guest1 sorry haven't been around for a while so welcome. In general what are your sons fine motor skills like? if he isn't very dextrous then doing a zip may be tricky. you might be able to sew a couple of bits of velcro to his jacket so that he can do it himself . Laces are a bit of a nightmare and im afraid i don't allow them in my setting (younger age group!) if he's going to have laces i would definitely spend time teaching him that skill it's not really fair to expect a teacher to do up 30 pairs of shoe laces they just don't have the time! Remember he is going to school...it's quite different from nursery/pre-school the ratios are often 1-15 or even 1-30 at times 

As for tips on zipping firstly make sure he always finishes the job so you do the connection then let him pull it up. taking off he should be able to do himself i suspect. 

we talk about the train and the train track ...so making the tunnel first (Putting the 2 ends of the zip together, usually left side ) then sliding the train in to the tunnel (metal end) and pulling the train up the train track (zipper) . Finger placement is the most difficult job as they tend to put their finger on the 'track' so then the zip won't go up. (probably doesn't make sense!!)

First things first, yes that makes sense :).

I would say his other fine motor skills are OK, I'd say he's just taking longer to master both of these things than most kids mainly due to lack of concentration and giving up so easily which kids do I suppose lol.

 

[Guest1]

Seeing as I've not posted in a few months here is a quick update on this :).

First of all, he's finally masteredmastered zipping his jacket but he needs prompted as to when it needs zipped by either me or the playground assistant but he's lazy amd likes it done for him, is that normal lol?  In terms of shoelaces,  that's still a work in progress but the school allow velcro shoes which is handy because that's easier for him to tie up :).

One thing I will say is that jackets don't last long as he either loses or misplaces them but we now need to think of warmer winter jackets for him so if you guys have any recommendations then feel free to put them down here :).