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I have a lovely little girl in my group, aged 4, she is bright and capable across all areas of learning, she has a wide friendship group and as I said is lovely......except

She has started to tell lies - not just now and then - everyday

Some of her 'lies' are completely 'harmless' - that said we always challenge what she is saying - but sadly, some of her lies are really 'harmful' and have led to some very difficult situations

Parents are just coming on board now - they have finally realised that all of the completely outrageous things she is saying are completely untrue

When challenged she just smiles, nods and is just not 'bothered' at all

All tips and suggestions will be gratefully received 

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Didn't want to read and run, but not sure if I actually have any advice, but we have  had a little girl similar situation to yours. Luckily for us none of the 'lies' where harmful as such, but it did take a little convincing to the parents that they were untruths.  

With our little girl I feel it was more  a very creative imagination rather than actual lies though - and she did grow out of it when we started using her ideas in play, and also helping her to make story books etc.

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Thanks louby - I am afraid it is 'lies' as opposed to 'creative imagination'........

I forgot to say in my original post - she also 'lies' about family things and things that have supposedly happened at home - so not just in her preschool setting

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So firstly my youngest lied from a very early age! I remember catching her 'writing' on her bed....she still swears to this day she didn't do it! (she was the only one in the room!)  she never got to the 'dangerous' tales stage but i also never thought she was innocent!

 i find  Don't tell lies lucy (Usborne) quite useful as a starter (i don't usually use books to teach a subject but for lies it seems to work!)

Also the ok so if adam told me you broke his toy how would you feel conversation....you can also do this as role play with two members of staff which can be quite powerful !

 

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Thank you fm - yes have used 'Don't tell lies Lucy' and we have had a whole group 'chat' about telling lies and individual talks with her

Will definitely try the role play - good idea

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8 minutes ago, sunnyday said:

Thank you fm - yes have used 'Don't tell lies Lucy' and we have had a whole group 'chat' about telling lies and individual talks with her

Will definitely try the role play - good idea

i have a bit of a reputation for 'acting out'

The idea from Matilda (h Beloc) about a girl who tells lies and then no one believes her is quite useful too but the story is probably a bit gory for this age group!

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1 hour ago, finleysmaid said:

i have a bit of a reputation for 'acting out'

The idea from Matilda (h Beloc) about a girl who tells lies and then no one believes her is quite useful too but the story is probably a bit gory for this age group!

I've thought about that one before and thought the same thing.  I am known for doing very dramatic renditions of 'The boy who cried wolf'.  The last time I did it (on a Friday afternoon) a mum came to see me on the Monday to tell me it had worked because her daughter admitted that she'd lied to me and had worried about it all weekend.  Mum was fine - said it taught her a lesson but I was mortified!

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8 hours ago, Froglet said:

I've thought about that one before and thought the same thing.  I am known for doing very dramatic renditions of 'The boy who cried wolf'.  The last time I did it (on a Friday afternoon) a mum came to see me on the Monday to tell me it had worked because her daughter admitted that she'd lied to me and had worried about it all weekend.  Mum was fine - said it taught her a lesson but I was mortified!

I once read the very angry ladybird and had a parent tell me her child would never listen to a story again because i was so scary:ph34r:O.o

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Apparently telling lies at this age is linked to higher IQ later and actually better social skills in adolescence. 

I can't put my hand to where I've read this but definitely more than one source.  

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4 hours ago, mundia said:

Apparently telling lies at this age is linked to higher IQ later and actually better social skills in adolescence. 

I can't put my hand to where I've read this but definitely more than one source.  

Thank you mundia :)

I can well believe that she will be a 'high flier' - we just need to differentiate between 'just pretend' and 'lies' - we will 'get there' - what would life be without these little challenges along the way:)

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I've been having a little 'dig around' on Google and found this article from the Guardian. It was printed a few years ago and some of the links are now out of date, but it's still worth a read I think...

Children lie from the age of two, so here’s how to get them to tell the truth

One of the links in the article is to this neat little exercise 10 ways to Deal with Lying in Young Children. The title is a bit fierce, but the tips are helpful I think (albeit a bit geared towards the American market).

Hope some of that is helpful :)

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Thank you muchly Rebecca :)

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1 minute ago, sunnyday said:

Thank you muchly Rebecca :)

You're welcome :D

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We did have a little one some years back, they are probably 10/11 now, he was one of the smaller children for his age and an extremely popular lad within the group, so much so, when he had to wear glasses (which mortified his mumO.o:o  she said in front of him that he looked geeky in them) some of the other boys took to wearing sunglasses!

Anyway, mum would come in at least a couple of times a week complaining that he had told her a certain boy was bullying him or some other reason to be upset by at bedtime.  The second lad was a little "quirky" but idolized him and just wanted to be his best buddy, but could have personal space issues!

We did all the usual things and one day I tailed at a distance this child and said to mum if he says xyz happened today, he is telling tales because I know for a fact that nothing untoward had happened.       Not much came from this really - but what did transpire some way down the line, was the same accusations were made about another child in primary school he moved on to and mum moved her son to a different one, but we found out that mum and dad had divorced by that time.    My feeling now is that the little boy was watching and hearing his parent's marriage falling apart, and when he told his tales of bullying, he got attention from one or other or both.

 

 

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Thanks Panders......

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