Help!

[MarshaD]

I got sent some picture messages from a parent tonight of marks on her child's arms. I can't see clearly but they look like either bruises or scratches. We have been monitoring this little lad lately because he has been exhibiting some rather challenging and aggressive behaviour.

 

Two events happened today that may have caused the marks depending on what they are - firstly there was a altercation with another child in the garden, but said child was laughing and did not appear upset. Secondly the child was throwing toys at an adult and then came and hit me with the hard end of a paintbrush. I led him to the edge of the garden for some thinking time and he flung himself on the ground. He then took of his shoe and threw it at me. I sat with him and he started to kick me all the while thrashing around on the ground. Unfortunately I didn't notice any marking at the time but I guess they may have surfaced afterwards. I didn't speak to her personally but she was made aware that he had a melt down in the garden.

 

It was late when I picked up the message and I thought it too late to phone so will be phoning her in the morning. What action should I take, would you do a retrospective accident form?

[Panders]

Yes personally, I would record everything that you remember happening with this child yesterday and get other members of staff to do the same. It may well be that because you have highlighted this child's behaviour to the parents, they feel they in turn can "pick you up" as well. It certainly sounds plausible that a child throwing and thrashing themselves about could cause injury to themselves - so be measured in your reply, explain that you are gathering everyone's thoughts at the present time and that you will discuss it with her when she brings the little one in next time. You need to see these marks.

 

I know this is an upsetting time for you MarshaD, but you can only do what you can do! I would have an Incident Record at hand for this child or run a daily blog. I do this for a couple of ours at the moment, not that anything has happened, but its something I spend a few minutes at the end of the session doing.

[MarshaD]

Thanks Panders, I feel terrible

[Inge]

I would write an incident report.. what happened when during the session he wasin..get other staff to write one for what they saw or witnessed. you cannot say it was an accident or how injury was sustained in the setting as you did not see any at the time ,but they were visible later. You do need to see before having a discussion with her.

 

If not already doing so , I would also keep a daily events log on this child , giving written account of any incidents like meltdown etc, factual and witnessed, along with a quick check for injury .. noting if none is seen at the time. This will also give a good picture of the behaviour and can be discussed with parent if needed.

 

 

I was always over the top with recording.. staff found it irritating until something like this happens and all the paperwork is already in place. it is so easy to deal with things day to day and not even think of it as an incident or in need of recording. better too much evidence than none at all was my thoughts.

 

It is always hard and distressing when these things occur, hard not to blame yourself but all you can do is deal with things as they arise.. not easy when it happens just before a weekend.

[finleysmaid]

great advice already BUT be careful these marks may not have been caused by the incident, but at home.....could this be the reason that this little chap is so angry????

[MarshaD]

Well I've spoken to mum. I said I'd have a look on Monday and that we'd fill out a report. I apologised for not noticing the marks and explained that I couldn't be certain but that it was possible he got them in the garden, she was aware that he'd had an episode so that part wasn't news. She seemed ok and she said he had not been upset.

 

I will keep a daily log of events and / or injury as advised.

 

Thanks guys.

[louby loo]

Well I've spoken to mum. I said I'd have a look on Monday and that we'd fill out a report. I apologised for not noticing the marks and explained that I couldn't be certain but that it was possible he got them in the garden, she was aware that he'd had an episode so that part wasn't news. She seemed ok and she said he had not been upset.

 

I will keep a daily log of events and / or injury as advised.

 

Thanks guys.

 

Right. So for the present it is sorted.

You must now put all those thoughts into a (imaginary) box - and put that box into your workbag ready to sort out Monday morning when back at work!!!

It is the weekend and now you can forget it and get on with your own personal life :1b :1b

[MarshaD]

great advice already BUT be careful these marks may not have been caused by the incident, but at home.....could this be the reason that this little chap is so angry????

We do have concerns which is part of the reason we're monitoring this child. I will be sure to state uncertainty of cause on the record.

[BroadOaks]

You should not feel awful, it is very challenging when children behave this way, what else can you do?! it is unacceptable for a child to throw things and hit out and these incidents should all be recorded no matter how little. There is a reason for every child's behaviour and finding out the cause can be tricky. When we find the cause we can truly help, rather than contain it or punish a child daily to stamp it out. This does the child no good. Communicate lot's with parents and find out every detail about family life.

 

The cause of behaviour like you mentioned are usually one of a few factors. Although personally I don't agree that ADHD is always a mental health condition the Spectrum is very wide, it can be difficult to ignore. The cause of this behaviour might be ADHD related. In my opinion if a child can be an angel one minute and then a devil the next I tent to pin it on something within the child's life either at home or within nursery.

 

Could parent's be doing more to help their child's behaviour? Do parent's even think their child's behaviour is an issue? Does this child show this behaviour at home? etc etc. . I hope things improve for you soon and good luck.

[sunnyday]

great advice already BUT be careful these marks may not have been caused by the incident, but at home.....could this be the reason that this little chap is so angry????

Have to say this was one of my first thoughts too........

 

Hope that things are looking 'brighter' today.

 

As others have said I tend to 'log' everything when caring for a child with 'issues' such as you describe.

[MarshaD]

Thanks all.

 

A log book is in place. He wasn't too bad today a few minor incidents of throwing but no major melt downs. I don't think that Mum has been overly concerned as she has not witnessed any of the behaviour that we see, but today she said that he'd had a meltdown with Dad in the Harvester, kicking, hitting, screaming and refusing to sit down, so much so that they had to leave. It was the first time Dad had witnessed it (Mum wasn't there).

 

He is a bright lad but his language is delayed. A lot of his behaviour appears to be attention seeking - ie he seems to be playing nicely and then suddenly provokes someone by knocking their hat off, or throws something. He will also grab adult legs or clothing. Any challenge then results in kicking and hitting. I swing between thinking it may be the gap between his language and his intellect that is causing him frustration and worrying that there is a safeguarding issue as some of the things he says / does are a bit odd. I had talked it through with my LEA adviser a little while ago who didn't feel there was a threshold concern, so she advised to monitor. The Area SENCo is coming out to see him in a couple of weeks. I'll keep you posted.