SazzJ Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I love the job. Love the kids and parents but no longer feel the setting I am in is right now. I have spent the last two days doubting and questioning my own abilities. Despite being co manager my opinions and ideas count for nothing. Co manager is a strong character I am not but the setting has lost site of what I wanted to achieve because it's not what matters to her. It's with a heavy heart and endless tears I am saying good bye Give me my committee back any day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Ok ladies, I get the down bits.........and I really DO get the down bits. BUT what about the days when you have made a real difference to a child's life.........or to a parents?? Today, I had a dad come to collect his son. 'I want to thank you for spotting his eye problem; the optician said if it had gone undetected, it would have been untreatable in a couple of years time'.........well, I thought I was 'just' doing my job by mentioning it. What about the dad who said 'you have given me back my son'......his child has a diagnosis of ASD and i thought I was 'just' doing my job. And the grieving mother of a stillborn baby, who knew she could come to us for a shoulder to cry on at any time?...............yes, 'just' doing my job. Except it isn't, is it? 'just a job'? yes, you get the whingy parents ( email literally half an hour ago, from parent querying their November and December bills as they said I had overcharged! ..already paid, to be fair..........nice result for me though as I had in fact undercharged them, and it was nice to put Mr and Mrs Snootypants in their place.............'thank you so much for bringing this to my attention, I appreciate your honesty ). So, yes, lots of poor points, but goodness, ladies, when we get it right, we do it well...........and we knock it out of the bloomin' ball park. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonnie Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 With regards to the clothing, we have taken a large permanent pen and on our spare clothing and written the nursery name clearly and big across them, most of our parents bring there own clothing now as they do not wish to take there children home in our clothes. With regards to parents: I am 17 years in the industry and 14years as a Manager and they do seam ruder and more demanding then they ever have been BUT I do put this down to their stress levels and juggling work and home life, As my work load has increased (with out the pay) so has others is this an excuse no but it makes me feel better, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caffinefreak Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I LOVED my job until last May when Ofsted inflicted themselves on us, they broke my heart and destroyed my confidence, all because I couldn't get one (of 116) parents to engage with us re their child's SEN. We turned it around and got Good in October but since then, although I still work 12 hours a day for 8 hours pay (not to mention unpaid weekends) smile, keep the staff spirits up and still adore the children, it's not my passion anymore, anything which is so vulnerable that one persons opinion on one day of provision every 4 years can have such devastating consequences can not provide a stable happy working environment, its so sad as I believe 1000% that young children deserve the best start, I just wish that between mum moaning that we didn't spot that tiny bit of red paint on little ones jumper, to (gentle) conversations suggesting that only just starting to roll over at 13 months old after a traumatic birth/major surgery, may indicate a degree of development delay, Ofsted would just give is a break and let us do our jobs, no, hopeytg, you are not alone xxx 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Ofsted have a lot to answer for................................ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SazzJ Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I have to say the look of excitement on a 2 yr olds face when I pulled out the book on volcanoes was priceless. The excitement in his eyes as if to say 'wow, you get me. You understand what my interests are' To the little girl 'reading' Peace at last. That's the first time I have ever had more than a one word answer but it got us chatting and made me realise what this job is about. The mum with the autistic child who thanked us for the 2 years we spent with her son even if half of that was spent wet in the water tray 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SazzJ Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 The lovely thank you card from two siblings who recently left and the words in there that mean a lot x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Thanks Narnia and Sazz for trying to redress the balance a bit! It is a really hard job and we are often not appreciated by other agencies (having issues here!) but i would not give the job up .....where else could i spend the afternoon being handed playdough cakes with pasta candles in ...all afternoon ,,,,with a group of excited children counting loudly how many they've got ....then fishing outside for marshmallow fish and cooking them on the fire (sadly only pretend yesterday!) A parent on intensive family support is having a really tough time she wrote me a lovely card telling me i was her guardian Angel...how can you fail to continue this job when you have messages like that :wub: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melba Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Last year - I had a horrible member of staff who was constantly making everyone angry Today - she is gone and we are all laughing much more. Tomorrow - who knows but I'm still sitting on the roller coaster! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I love the idea of writing the setting across clothing in big letters :lol: We used to purposely put boys in pink/flowers etc and children in things that were clearly too big or too small which was fine when they were in the setting but some parents were horrified to think they had to take their child out looking like that :P Of course we just said 'Sorry we haven't got that much spare stuff and so it was either leave your child unclothed or call you' and sure enough spares were sent and some parents even donated things their child had grown out of I think parents just forget that you are looking after more than just their little darling and so you need them to cooperate in order for you to give their child the most fun time ever instead of dealing with all the rubbish that parents throw at you. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SazzJ Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Today my challenge given to me by a 3 year old was: How many minutes are in 95hrs? He then wanted to know how many seconds it was too. Sadly my calculator was not big enough lol to answer his question x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Today my challenge given to me by a 3 year old was: How many minutes are in 95hrs? He then wanted to know how many seconds it was too. Sadly my calculator was not big enough lol to answer his question x Gosh - I am mega impressed that he has an understanding of hours, minutes, seconds :1b 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKeyteach Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Sazzj this sounds so sad. Enjoy your maternity leave and maybe it is a new setting you need. Don't give up! I'm a happy manager, I have a great team who are working with me and even though some have struggled with the technology I have thrown at them, they are carrying on. I am not convinced by all this talk about good levels of development but if it means we can spend more time children to help them along I will find time for it. Parents are a tricky bunch but at the moment I have some really lovely ones and a couple of parents who need support and I like being able to help them out. So one very happy manager with no signs of leaving!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblejack Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I have no thoughts of giving up either. I have had some very tricky parents but I never let them get to me. I just smile sweetly and say " I will look into your complaint as soon as possible" I have found that parents who are always complaining sometimes have other complicated issues and they can't help feeling miserable. Everyday we try to think of at least 2 nice things that have happened during the day. I will stop running my group when I am ready not when a parent upsets me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeytg Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 wow I didn't expect so many responses, thank you for your messages of support and reminding me why I do do my job - the children x (just a shame they have to come with parents!) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trekker Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I LOVED my job until last May when Ofsted inflicted themselves on us, they broke my heart and destroyed my confidence, all because I couldn't get one (of 116) parents to engage with us re their child's SEN. We turned it around and got Good in October but since then, although I still work 12 hours a day for 8 hours pay (not to mention unpaid weekends) smile, keep the staff spirits up and still adore the children, it's not my passion anymore, anything which is so vulnerable that one persons opinion on one day of provision every 4 years can have such devastating consequences can not provide a stable happy working environment, its so sad as I believe 1000% that young children deserve the best start, I just wish that between mum moaning that we didn't spot that tiny bit of red paint on little ones jumper, to (gentle) conversations suggesting that only just starting to roll over at 13 months old after a traumatic birth/major surgery, may indicate a degree of development delay, Ofsted would just give is a break and let us do our jobs, no, hopeytg, you are not alone xxx I am in a similar situation - I didnt believe anything could change my feelings about the job i do but it did - I feel my passion and confidence has been stomped on and ripped to pieces. In my case its the uncertainty around committees - ive suffered under a couple who just criticise too much and believe they know best...they have all the power and all the support...none of the work I do is appreciated ... everything is questioned ... and yes there is definitely a massive feeling of vulnerability - their opinions of what I do and how I do it affect everything - sadly they seem to frown on it all right now and so gradually ive become aware of myself pulling back / away - I've got very little inclination to go above and beyond anymore :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildflowers Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 That, Trekker, is awful! It's challenging as it is with the pressures from parents and Ofsted. I assumed that the role of a committee is to support! I understand if you don't feel strong enough at the moment to share your feelings with them. Perhaps you could start by talking to one of them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SazzJ Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Sunnyday he's nearly 4 This is sadly what's made me decide to leave Not said child but because I refuse to mark him as ELG just yet and not moved him from secure 40-60 months where my co manager marked him in July. She insists they all move a band a term. Tried to explain that may not be the case. She is now arguing she can't mark him as gifted and talented because he's still in the 40-60 bracket and in her opinions still in his age band he should be. Will try and stake my case again that just because a child is in the age bracket doesn't mean there on target but doubt it will go down well and will result in being told my opinions count for nothing. Leaving with my head held high though x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trekker Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 That, Trekker, is awful! It's challenging as it is with the pressures from parents and Ofsted. I assumed that the role of a committee is to support! I understand if you don't feel strong enough at the moment to share your feelings with them. Perhaps you could start by talking to one of them? It should be but nope - definitely not supporting at all - actually they will be the downfall of the place at this rate. They know how I feel...but nothing changes. Its a ridiculous situation :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I feel like this ALOT at the moment. We have one particular parent who is constantly 'picking'. His most recent one was that we are 'lying' in the contact books about what his child eats as 'he would never eat that at home'. How I hold my patience with him I do not know..... However I took a day out of the office on Monday and worked all day in the room - I had such a great day it almost restored my faith in this job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 i would fim, or photograph his child eating (discretely)and put the evidence of little Sam 'enjoying the social aspects of lunch time' into his learning journey 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sn0wdr0p Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 That is exactly what I did Narnia. We had a reluctant eater and parents simply gave in and never tried to introduce new foods and just let him eat dry cereals and biscuits. I filmed him trying new foods on our ipad and put it on Tapestry. I filmed him trying fruit, freshly squeezed orange juice (by him) milk shake made with strawberries he had pureed and showed them the whole process we followed of allowing him to touch the food, then put it against his lips, then licking it to eventually trying a very small mouthful-it was a very long process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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