Guest Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Hi all, new to the forum. The biting policy at my setting has recently been updated, it outlines the steps to be followed when a child is biting. In short, it says that in 'extreme circumstances' the child's parents will be asked to pay for 1:1 care or be asked to leave until the behaviour stops, if everything else has been tried and no improvement made. They have asked me to read and sign it but I don't agree with it...help! I was wondering what your settings policy is on this subject and do you agree? Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 (edited) We haven't got a specific biting policy, just an overall behaviour policy. Has this policy ever been enforced? I find it hard to see how this could be allowed, its a developmental issue surely? If you changed 'biting' to not being able to pedal a bike, catch a ball, feed self, you'd have a case for querying the policy. Edited to say 'hello and welcome to the forum Edited January 20, 2014 by Rea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Thanks for you reply Yes it has been enforced before but they changed their mind when I said it's not in our policy to ask the child to leave or pay for 1:1 which I think is why they changed it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upsy Daisy Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 If everything else had been tried and no improvement had been observed I would be looking at getting outside agencies in. At this point, to exclude the child or ask for additional payments from the parents could possibly mean that the setting falls foul of the Equality Act 2010.I really wouldn't want to be a party to that. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Here's a biting policy one of our members shared previously just for info/reference http://eyfs.info/forums/files/file/86-biting-policy/ Have to say yours does sound a bit harsh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 In short, it says that in 'extreme circumstances' the child's parents will be asked to pay for 1:1 care or be asked to leave until the behaviour stops, if everything else has been tried and no improvement made. They have asked me to read and sign it but I don't agree with it...help! Hi Lauz909 and a very warm welcome to the forum! :1b Goodness me - that's 'not good' - I don't think you should sign it either.........there could be all sorts of reasons why a child is 'biting' and lots of effective ways to help with this that wouldn't involve parents paying for 1:1....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Especially if those children are funded, you can't charge for a 121!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colly Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I am having a dilemma with biting too. One of our funded 2's bites staff and children, regularly hits and scratches staff and children, pulls chunks of other people's hair out and is essentially out of control. He is currently being assessed as his development does appear to be delayed, although I don't think it will be enough to warrant funding for 1:1 support. My staff are run ragged every afternoon with this child, every incident is logged and signed by his family but they are not doing anything to help him, they won't even cut his nails as they say he "won't let them". The family live in a chaotic environment with many adults and children in the same house but Social Services won't get involved. I am really worried about the impact he is having on the other children especially those he seems to target more than others. It is so unfair that those children are being hurt and although their parents are being patient and understanding for the moment that can only last so long. He never misses a day and I feel we are being used to give the family a couple of hours break from him every day. He does not take part in any activities offered and as far as I can see is not benefitting in any way from being at preschool Am I allowed to ask this child to leave? The assessment process is painfully slow and as I said I'm not convinced they will be able to offer us anything constructive to help. If anyone has been through this before I would appreciate your advice! Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hi, all 2 year olds receiving funding in our neck of the woods have to show progress being made by attending a setting. If you have a Childrens Centre near you, I would certainly give them a call or the child's Health Visitor. All children again receiving funding around here, should be registered with their local centre. Can I ask why you contacted Social Services, do you have other concerns. If you have safeguarding worries you can always contact your LSB. Although asking a child/family to leave might be an option, you would have to check your policies, this child sounds like he needs to be with you, however waring we all know it is. Have you tried giving him something to chew on. What is he doing if his not engaged in any activities, is he biting, kicking the whole time. How long has he been with you. Sorry for so many questions, but i am trying to build a picture to make some suggestions that might help. I think I would be asking for a meeting with their parents to move forward with this. Good luck. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colly Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Thank you for your reply. We have had another bad day today, 2 parents complaining and with more children being bitten and scratched despite our best efforts to try one to one care today. There are various professionals involved, HV, children's centre etc but no one seems to be making any headway. I have had separate concerns, which was why I made a referral. That got me a lot of verbal abuse from the family and no further action from SS/childrens services. He has been with us for almost a year now and just comes in, runs/wanders around, walks into things and other people frequently, no idea about toileting, and if we try to get him to join in anything he shouts, screams and tries to bite and scratch the staff. If he wants something he just hurts the other child and takes it but mostly just seems to enjoy lashing out (especially at faces/eyes) and walks away. We could try the chew toys although I suspect they will be just thrown to the floor as he doesn't tend to chew on things, just people!! Today I asked that his aunt or mum accompany him to every session from Monday. This is partly to have a set of eyes on him constantly and partly so they can see how we try to manage behaviour so they can try at home. I do feel that until they have some of the inconvenience of this behaviour, we will not see any effort on their part to make changes. The family life is chaotic, he seems to have various adults in charge of him but no one who will take charge, if you see what I mean! No one works, the home is, quite frankly, not fit for habitation and I just despair that nothing will improve. Sorry to be so negative but I am really upset for our other families and children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Gosh! I'd keep on at social services if I was you. Are there other children in the family? Do you have links with settings they go to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Hi Colly...it is very difficult when a child bites both for the victim and the biter! I'm not sure that getting his relatives in is going to help but i would take the opportunity to build relationships with them. Find out what he does at home, what his favourite activities are etc does he bite at home...who and when and why? When children behave like this there is usually a reason but then they gets lots of attention for it and it continues. How good are his communication skills? I'm afraid not being toilet trained at this age is not uncommon especially when there are lots of other children. What is he good at ...how does he behave outside. Somehow you need to find things to engage him and as soon as he is doing things you want him to there has to be an instant reward and praise. It's a case of trying to flip the coin swopping bad for good so that attention is for positive not negative. If he bites a member of staff ask them NOT to react, get them to walk away from him without fuss...it is really important he doesn't get a reaction! This is more difficult with the children because they will howl. So get one member of staff to deal with the victim preferably our of sight of the biter and then take him to a quiet place to calm down....talk to him calmly about what has happened. You also need to work out what he's doing it for (ABC chart) The question you must ask is WHY is he doing it ....he will be doing it for a reason ...if you can work this out then you can solve the problem! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colly Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Thank you all for your suggestions. Its good to know we're are not alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Thank you all for your suggestions. Its good to know we're are not alone! You are certainly not alone. We have this problem at the moment - and I can honestly say that today is the first day in over 20yrs when I have just felt like saying **** it and walking away from the job. It's fine when others are saying 'try this/try that' but when it gets to the point where you have actually tried EVERTHING in the book you just want to give up entirely --- and politely ask the family to leave. For us it is extreme attention seeking - and is a little more involved than I would like to say here. For our little one we are genuinely not the right setting for him. We have had him since 2.4. he is now 4+. At one point we had him very calm and settled - then his sibling started with us and things have gone rapidly downhill. We are in one big hall, with no outside area- and the poor little chap must be going stir-crazy the amount of time he has been with us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Oh Louby Loo and Colly I am sorry to hear you are both struggling at the moment. Virtual hugs Both these children appear to be crying out for attention, so great advice from Finleysmaid as always. I would certainly keep linking with the HV, Childrens centre and maybe a call to your area Senco team might help too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 We do have just about every outside agency involved with ours :( However the parent likes/trusts us - but cannot see what is best for her child, and sadly that is not us xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 louby loo can i ask do you have any access to the outside? only i used to 1-1 a little chap who had a fascination for throwing! (anything at anything!!) i used to take him out to a safe spot to have some time alone....i might do it a couple of times a session which gave him time to let off steam. So sorry you've had such a bad day. I had two biters last year ...i ended up having them in different sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 At the moment his attention seeking is at such a high level that he is at high risk to do a runner so 1-2-1 outside not viable at present. We do try and get him to the fenced in play-area when possible though and that helps. This is partly why we would like to see him settled in a setting with a purpose built outside area. I honestly believe once he starts school he will thrive in the correct environment though - he is actually a smashing kid with a very tuff start, I strongly feel we are failing him which makes me want to cry sometimes . 1-1..... I want to take him home with me he is that lovely!! ........... however turn your back for a nano second... chomp!!! At the moment it feels all the positive praise is having a negative effect on the other 25 children (and parents) though. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisydorageorge Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 Hi I have just stared a thread for help on a similar situation and have been directed to this thread. We have lots of support for our biting, hitting, kicking, wishing us dead child. Our inclusion officer has supported our application for 1-1 and we are waiting to hear. Mum says he is fine at home.....which I'm sorry I can't see. He bites, scratches etc to her in front of us. Even tipped the pushchair over with the baby in it. Paediatrician say no problem - just behaviour!!!! What does that mean? HV said there was no problem when she did a home visit so I insisted she came to us and that of course was a different case. He goes to school in September. When things are on his terms, he is lovely and you can get so much from him. He just can't cope with transition between situations, rules, boundaries. Mum says he has learnt the actions and words at Preschool. We make sure when he flips, everyone is moved away and carries on, he is in a safe place where there is nothing to trash and no one to hurt. He is best ignored at this point with an adult present, turning away. Invite him back into play or a story or sometimes he thinks it's more fun with the group and joins them calmly. Consistency is the is the way we are going. STOP, FINISHED, WE DONT DO THAT AT PRESCHOOL, CALM DOWN TIME. as suggested by Inclusion. All very well but he is so quick and inconsistent on when he will react. He wears us all out, someone is hurt daily. Yesterday the deputy got a cut lip from a head butt. Oh dear I agree let's take them home and give them the time and consistency they crave. All advice welcome! In ten years and experience as 1:1 with autistic child...............never had one like this. Bless him! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShellBell Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 We're going through the same thing. We have three little boys who are severely distrupting the sessions. Two are on child protection plans and the other is known to social services so we have other agencies involved too but to be honest, it's a struggle and when every day is a battle it can make you question why you do this job! All three have very loving sides and can be a joy to be around at times but then they just switch and we have the spitting, hair pulling, scratching, throwing of toys, throwing of chairs and just general chaos! We don't have enough staff to follow them round all morning offering 1:1 care. The other children are getting hurt and I feel they're missing out on some quality time with us as we seem to always be dealing with the issues our three little chaps create. Some days the staff leave the setting looking so drained and exhausted. When people say that all we do is play and paint pictures I want to scream.....that Is not the reality of pre school life!! Moan over! Sometimes you just need to offload. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Moan over! Sometimes you just need to offload. Consider it offloaded :1b :1b :1b :1b We've had a bad day too today. Actually I do not really have issues with dealing with the disrupted child as such- and, if I'm honest I like the challenge . However what is extremely draining in not having any 'outside' support that is actually helpful, or any financial support to enable an extra staff member- and it's the other children that seem to miss out all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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