flowlow Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Hi JellyJo there is so much good advice you have already had but for what its worth here is my experience: We have had numerous similar situations and you have lot of hugs and empathy from me at this really tough time hang in there stay strong, this is what I was told. In terms of investigation if there is any allegation (false or otherwise) that you have abused a child it must go straight to the LADO through the MARU unit and be investigated by them. Ofsted and local LEA need to be informed as soon as possible in writing but definitely within 14 days. You probably will be investigated again and I have to say in our case we were placed as satisfactory as they said due to an allegation being made (even though it wasn't something that happened in pre-school it was a personal matter for one of my staff and did not affect the pre-school at all) they couldn't say 100% children were safe even though our safeguarding practice and policies were tight and fine and they could find no fault with us. LAWCALL (PLA legal department) wont help you as an individual but you should be given time to build a defence and seek legal advice (they have to by law give you this time we had to make this very clear to my staff member) This means you do need to know what you are accused of (again I was told by LAWCALL that this is law) although they may be able to withhold names of accusers. You should also by law be given the right to take someone in to your suspension hearing or any meeting you have and this is someone of your choosing and can be anyone again LAWCALL told me this is law. You can only be suspended for a short time as well you cannot be suspended for a long period as this is seen as unfair treatment and grounds for tribunal. In fact I was told I was not allowed to say suspended I had to use the term on leave with full pay. All details need to be kept and LADO and Ofsted now expect a chronology, which is essentially dates, times and a brief note about the details so you would have for example 9.00 14/11/13 - complaint made by phone to LADO or something like that as well as copies of all complaints, letters, phone logs and emails in full. You could or should write down everything you can think of in your defence although I don't see how you can write an account if you don't know what you have been accused of, but I would keep all copies of emails, make a note of date, times and who you spoke to on the phone with regard to this situation. I hope some of this helps stay strong xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spiral Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Hi Jelly Jo, I just wanted to offer my support. The first issue is really the safety of the child and it does seem that your first post indicated that the twins may have other safeguarding concerns at home. I hope the case takes the twist it should and that the whole thing is seen as a diversion by the family..then they are investigated. Please be strong, its blooming hard in this job sometimes, but it sounds like your team believe in you and the rules just forbid them from disclosing anything/communicating with you. Best wishes, Spiral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JellyJo Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Thank you for all the words of support. It means a lot. I had my meeting this morning. The allegations are: use of inappropriate language (i supposedly called a child a 'silly-willy'!!!!!!) and physical abuse on two occassions. One in Jan 13 (!!!) and one last tuesday. I managed to challenge both of the allegations. I had a friend with me who works for LA but different area. He knows about safeguarding procedures and was able to shed some light on what is happening. He said afterwords that I have done well. I am waiting for the decision now. As for the procedure - the LADO and ofsted have been informed. LADO gave instructions of what to do. The committee is handling it all and the staff are not aware of what is going on (apart from the admin and safeguarding rep). As far as they know Im off sick. I am worried about Ofsted. But i'll cross that bridge when I come to it. The alleged victim as well as twins and the other cousin continue attending preschool as if nothing has happened... The committee suggested mediations between me and the family. I refused at this stage. I cant believe this is such a common thing! Committed, devoted, uderpaid practitioners who often work for a child's smile have to go through something like that. Is this job even worth it? I am bitter and emotional I know, but right now I question my whole professional future. My own kids have been in nurseries, with childminders while I was doing this job that I love - loved??- craving my time, putting up with me working at home or taking their toys to preschool... We could probably live of my husbands salary. I really only work beause I love it so much. And now, I feel I should probably take a break... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Good to hear you had appropriate support.. always helps if you can have someone not involved , sheds a different view on things . I hope they get on with it and don't leave it for too long before reporting back. Ofsted..I found them to be very fair and impartial , listened and non judgemental on any complaint made against us.. they investigated ours when it was a CP issue against a staff member.. and another about me as manager.. both proved unfounded... and it made us all be extremely vigilant in writing all conversations down as well as never being alone with the parents but going in pairs when dealing with issues.. In one case the parent kept the child at the setting.. we did not have any suspension of staff...the staff ensured the parent and I did not interact and kept us apart... as it turned out Ofsted said that went against the parent as if they were that concerned they would have removed the child... the other removed the child so not an issue. it does put a dent in confidence and ability and I too did not need the income.. but decided that I was not going to let the parents involved influence any decision I was going to make about what next.. and continued working.. the parent was the one who backed off as all was unfounded and they were sent a letter by Ofsted saying this... once all had returned to 'normal' that was when I made decisions... I reduced hands on hours and job shared with my deputy for a while...by my choice.. did return full time when needed.. I was the person who covered sickness, etc.. I found it better to take time to make decisions... for me it was about not letting any parent think they could upset me... as it turns out the other parents were very supportive.. we did tell them as at the time we had to tell parents about complaints against the setting and outcomes... Ofsted instructed us to do this. Hope all sorts itself out quickly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Lots of wise words and advice, and I don't feel able to add anything other than my heartfelt support for those of you falsely accused and having to suffer such anguish, when all you want to do is care for the children to the best of your ability. To be undervalued and attacked in this way is devastating but do hang on in there, there will be another day and there will be another child's smile to make it worthwhile.Lots of hugs coming your way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyfs1966 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 My goodness, I just wanted to add my best wishes to the other kind words of support already posted. What a dreadful situation to find yourself in. Stay strong, and hang in there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JellyJo Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 The allegations have been dismissed. I am to go back next week. Huge relief but somehow I don't think it is over... I wouldnt have been able to go through it without the support of this forum. Thank you 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 so glad it is sort of over it must be such a relief xx Hopefully it will be back to normal soon for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I am really relieved for you but understand that this will be an experience difficult to forget. Sending you lots more hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Is that how it ends? Are you given any kind of debriefing? Any reasons why it was dismissed? Does this mean the family withdrew their allegation? I do hope that you get the continued support from your colleagues. Take care and spoil yourself over the weekend :1b 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I have only just been catching up with the thread and relieved that it has been sorted out so quickly. I am sure there are still lots of issues to face, but at least the allegations have been proved to be unfounded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 The allegations have been dismissed. I am to go back next week. Huge relief but somehow I don't think it is over... I wouldnt have been able to go through it without the support of this forum. Thank you I have a little tear in my eye for you - what a relief........what happens now with the family involved? How do you feel about going back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 So glad they did not wait too long before sorting it out and telling you... If the parent keeps her children at the setting it will be hard , no doubt, but as a word of advice, cover yourself when dealing with her or her children.. the parent that complained about me did cause more issues, but I had a lovely staff who did it all and kept her away from me... It will all sort itself out... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zigzag Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Oh thank goodness for that. It really is so very scary that we are put in this vulnerable situation on a daily basis and quite alarming how quickly things can turn. I hope that really is it and it stops there. Try and relax now and remember why we do what we do. Have a good weekend. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I am so pleased for you that it was dealt with so swiftly, don't forget to continue to note everything, especially as you feel this is not the end of it. Have a lovely weekend.Fx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SazzJ Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I am sure once the allegations are found to be malicious lies that family will move there children. However this is where my concerns would lie because your concerns need to be raised so that someone else who has concerns will know what has happened previously! How are you feeling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JellyJo Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 I'm hugely relieved. I feel calmer but still have a little worry lingering in the pit of my stomach. Firstly I am full of biterness and doubts about my job. Hopefully this will pass soon. Secondly - the concerns about children that most likely lead to this mess are still there! I will have a meeting with my deputy next week to decide what we will do next. On the up side - once the suspension was lifted my email and phone just went off with messages of support from the committee and my colleagues. I was in tears. Giod thing is no one really knows what exactly happened apart from 4 people. Parents are also not aware. I have 2 days to recover (they also suggeted counselling!) and then back to normal. Whatever the 'normal' might be after being accused of child abuse... Im heartbroken, but Im also hopeful that I will come out of it as a stronger person. Big hugs to all of you. Im overwhelmed by your support. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 JellyJo I'm hugely relieved that this part of the whole stressful episode is over, but as you say the underlying problem is still there. I can only send you some virtual strength to help - the most difficult thing for you now will be picking yourself up and carrying on in the hope that some kind of normality will resume and you can carry on with the job in hand. The suggestion of counselling is a good one - it will offer you a safe haven where you can talk about your fears and feelings and figure out a way you can recover from this awful trauma. Good luck in getting the support these children need - whatever the parent decides to do about whether to keep her children in your setting or remove them, let's hope your fears are listened to and some action is taken. Take care of yourself and I hope you have a lovely, restful and restorative weekend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suebear Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Just wanted to wish you well, hope meeting went ok and if need be take a third party with you, if anything they'll help you remember exactly what was said afterwards. I'm shocked that you're lado wasn't supportive, I thought they were employed specifically for these situations? Hope weekend has helped and things get sorted quickly x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suebear Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Sorry for the late response just replied above then found another page of posts. Glad all sorted and lado helped your setting. Good luck for the week ahead x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyfs1966 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 wonderful news, but I can only image the deep scars that anything like this must leave...lets hope you somehow find a way to work on through this. Best wishes for your return. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JellyJo Posted November 18, 2013 Author Share Posted November 18, 2013 LADO is supposed to support everyone at the setting, espacially the safeguarding designated person. The person that the allegations were made against has NO support from anybody and anywhere. One of the overwhelming feelings that I had and still have is being abadoned by everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 How was your first day back at your setting.......thought about you this morning...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 LADO is supposed to support everyone at the setting, espacially the safeguarding designated person. The person that the allegations were made against has NO support from anybody and anywhere. One of the overwhelming feelings that I had and still have is being abadoned by everyone. I can totally understand how you are feeling. its appalling that there is no support for staff accused of things. I think this needs addressing somewhere to someone.......but no one wants to know ! I am so pleased for you that the allegations have been dismissed, but it will leave a bitter taste in your mouth for sometime to come, we are still struggling as the police questioning of "a suspect accused of malicious accusations " have been released without charge......we feel let down, betrayed and devastated at what has happened over the last 2 years with no sign of closure for us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Oh my lovemyjob, that sounds dreadful. So who is supporting you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spiral Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Money, money, money!! The support should be standard throughout early years settings as it is in schools, however the Local Authorities don't help in any way or form as we are seen as independent......when will it change? How many good staff and managers need to suffer without support and how many are leaving early years altogether as they are feeling the strain and finding that less pay with more support is beneficial (such as working in Sainsbury's!). I think if this happened to me I'd make an appointment to see my GP to ensure that the stress levels were documented and that I could get counselling through the NHS if I needed it at a later date, however this is not reflective of a supportive environment throughout early years. Personally I feel there is always very limited support and that the LA's/central gov't will have to recognise this if they are realistic about the future; 'you get what you pay for'! JellyJo, I do really empathise with you x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SazzJ Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 So glad things got sorted in one sense but rather frustrating and annoying that there is no support for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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