Name calling

[sunnyday]

Hi So if we set up a choo choo train on a train track with some baa lambs, gee gees and doggies for the kids to play with alongside a TA of course - would I be right in thinking we would be in a bit of a pickle

[HappyMaz]

Ta for that, Sunnyday!

 

We seem to have moved away from the main thrust of your original question, Toots but I hope we've given you lots of food for thought. I hope it has helped.

[Guest]

Ah - now I'm seriously worried about this now - you told us to be honest and we have been - but you haven't 'been back' to comment and I'm concerned that you are hurt or offended - really hope not

 

So thought I would offer up a word that I detest - I know I'm barking mad - so no problem there :blink: my least favourite word is.........wait for it.........can I bring myself to even type it..........it is 'yoyo' - what a horrible word - don't why I dislike it so much - I just do!

 

Since Toots has been 'offline' since 11.53 a.m. yesterday she will be unaware of the interest she has 'stirred'! But let's hope that she will comment as soon as she is 'back'! :1b

[Stargrower]

In addition to DevonMaid's child development lesson, there are reasons behind words like 'doggy'. Apparently, the 'y' ending helps a young child to sound the whole word, otherwise many would say 'doh' and not sound the 'g'. In any case, its for little ones who are just learning to talk.

I'm with you on 'ta' and another one that irritates me is when staff say they are changing a child's bottom (or even worse, 'let's go and change your bum'!!). I thought they were changing their nappies not their bottoms!

[Toots]

Wow, thank you all for your comments.

I need to clarify a couple of things. All those years ago I remember thinking' just tell me what's she's done wrong', so when I said acceptable swear word what I meant was, it sounded to me like she'd called her a little sod, or bu**er. I can also distinctly remember that the auntie wasn't happy. It was by no means affectionate. All that said, I have heard it said affectionately along with all the others phrases some of you have mentioned and after thinking long and hard, I now agree that as long as staff feel they know parents well enough that its probably ok.

Back when I did my SEN code of practice training the area senco questioned a practitioner on her use of the term. She was extremely unhappy about it and thought it was unacceptable, saying it was just name calling and practitioners should be more specific. I remember sitting there silently agreeing with her.

To answer Rea, my way of telling parents about their child's off day would be to tell them what the problem had been. 'He hasn't had his listening ears on today', 'she hasn't been using her kind hands'.

 

On Monday morning I will part U turn and tell the staff who think I'm bonkers this.

'I think the key is to get to know your parents before you use any phrases that describe negative behaviour, after all, how do you know if you've offended anybody unless they tell you.' I never told that auntie all those years ago.

 

Thank you all for your honesty

[Mouseketeer]

Hi Toots, I'm in the 'pickle' is fine camp, 'kids' really is not., find myself wanting to scream CHILDREN when people use kids.....but am soooooooo guilty of using 'guys' ....to be honest I don't like it but it just comes out, yet I wouldn't walk in and say "hi gals" to the whole group....must try and rein that in

[Toots]

Sorry, I only just noticed the last page and have been laughing hard at all your pet hates.

I'd like to throw in, biccy and fishey.

[Mouseketeer]

Haha on a little dishy

 

And it's not always what but how, one of our staff goes really high pitched/ squeaky like talking to a puppy dog .....and no offence meant to puppy dog owners

[flowlow]

Hi Toots, I'm in the 'pickle' is fine camp, 'kids' really is not., find myself wanting to scream CHILDREN when people use kids.....but am soooooooo guilty of using 'guys' ....to be honest I don't like it but it just comes out, yet I wouldn't walk in and say "hi gals" to the whole group....must try and rein that in

lol chuckling mouse63 because I say guys and then think after oh no bad bad bad!!!!

 

I did once have a member of staff who would insist on not pronouncing her 't's' so water had no 't' and neither did butter (I can't even think how to spell what she said) lol she left before she changed.

[lashes2508]

like everything there are likes and dislikes - often words we don't want to use come out depending on who we are with or around - subconsciously- we pick up sayings and pronunciations. As a child I disliked being referred to as a kid but it was the tone in which it was used . some words are ok but depends on age , understanding etc .

I love accents and often use words that my step father uses that are local to his native Scotland - something may be a bit 'fusty' ( stale) and he says fork and knife- i say knife and fork ! he says 'stop going out and in' as he rightly pointed out - you have to go out before you come back in .

I spent a lot of my teenage years with a friend who grew up in Yorkshire and still to this day I often say 'summat'instead of something.

If a word offends us then I think we should rightly express our feelings but I prersonally think many words, quotes only enrich ours and our children's language and vocabulary.

 

My pet hate - 'din dins ' when you are of an age to know its dinner ! saying that I worry more about overhearing parents in supermarkets calling their children stupid!!!!! :angry:

[Mouseketeer]

But you have to be in before you can go out

[Greenfinch]

I've really enjoyed this thread!

I have already 'liked' several words you have mentioned. On a similar note, my REAL pet hate is 'them':

"Them books", "pass me them toys please" etc

"Look at how nicely them children are sitting". Ugh!,,,

[lashes2508]

But you have to be in before you can go out

agree but you can't keep going in before you have been out

[Hoolahoney]

From Essex and must say "pickle" "pickleplum" and "picklemouse" are often used!! It is affectionate, just another way of saying cheeky/mischievious, not in any way meant to be name calling. I personally don't like cheeky monkeys as a term but that is just personal taste so can understand where you are coming from.

 

As for baby words, tooty blanket, dum dum and yum yums all get on my nerves!

[enuffsenuf]

Bear with me, I'm inclined to ramble!

14 years ago, I collected my daughter from nursery and was greeted with 'she's been a pickle today'. New to the county of Essex I'd never heard this expression used with my older children. I distinctly remember asking the 'auntie' what she meant. I was quite offended and after a conversation with auntie discovered that she hadn't behaved as well as she should have that day. I went away with the feeling that 'pickle' was an acceptable swear word. Since then I have had this abhorrence to the word and any others that I've heard practitioners use about or to a child. As a setting deputy I have explained to my staff why it's unacceptable. At least I thought I had until I overheard one of them telling mum ( who's also a member of staff) that her daughter had been a pickle. And so began a huge discussion because the mum who'd been on maternity leave when I started at the setting thought it was ok. I now have two members of staff that are looking at me as if I'm bonkers, they just don't see anything wrong with it, probably because they've said it for so may years.

 

So.... please tell me your thoughts on this, point me to any articles online (I can't find any), by all means tell me I'm being over sensitive.

I know that I can stop from them from saying it but I need them to understand why.

 

Looking forward to all your views, please be as honest as possible!

 

 

Gosh I use the word "pickle" all the time! I use it to mean that there has been some boundary pushing but not in a malicious or difficult way. Its a word my grandma always used in the same way and believe you me my grandmother would never EVER use anything considered a swear word. In some parts of the country (relatives in west country) I have been greeted with "Hello pickle" as a term of endearment. :blink:

Edited July 1, 2013 by enuffsenuf

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

I hate the term kids and even more so when it is written as Kidz. I hate it when people ask "can I lend that" rather than borrow. My nearest city is Hull and it is often called Ull by many locals (shudder), also dunno (don't know). Many Yorkshire folk also say "a" rather than "I" when refering to oneself. If I couldn't understand you I could say "A dunno wot yor on about" There was a great book published a few years ago called Yorkshire Yammer which we bought for my Scottish brother in law so he could understand us. Still can't understand him though.

 

I am very sorry but I say train track. Am I expelled?

 

Oh and I am dead chuffed that Graham Stuart is coming on the forum. (Is that local or do you all understand it)

Edited July 2, 2013 by sn0wdr0p

[mps09]

Wow - what an interesting thread! I think it is very much down to interpretation and I can fully understand that while the term 'pickle' has been generally taken in good humour, I agree that it is really important to say what you mean...... While my mum used to call us 'pickles' when we were a bit lively - if I was told that about my child I would be thinking "what you really want to say is that he's been a little b****r".

 

So actually would it be better to say, s/he's been challenging today...... we have had fun today because they tipped a load of sand down the toilet.... (not loo you note!).Say what you mean and then there is no room for offence or misunderstanding.

 

However, I think there is always a sense of interpretation and individual judgement. I don't like staff using loo or bum because I feel that might be offensive whereas toilet or bottom are not (but maybe that is just my opinion because It's what I'm used to!).

I also get really irritated by 'let's see what your mum writ in your book'.

 

I so like the comment about knowing your parents - we had one family who were extrememly offended that we asked the children to sit on the carpet - a complete no-no in their culture - made worse because the carpet was so dirty!

 

Interesting one.....