Crying (adults not children)

[sunnyday]

Do we all cry 'more easily'?

 

Not that I have a problem with this at all - but I don't think that we have got through a whole week this year without me having to comfort a parent who is in tears - I hasten to add here that none of the tears have been in anyway related to pre-school.......

 

Some of the recent events have been - a marriage break up - builders doing a lousy job - family illness.......all completely valid reasons for a weep........

 

Anyone else finding that they have to provide a shoulder to cry on far more often these days?

[Cait]

Oh most certainly! I had one today, just a nana who popped in to pay her grandson's fees as Mum had forgotten. Burst into floods of tears when I casually said, 'lovely to see you, not seen you for ages' . Got such a tale of woe.

 

Edit to add that it took up half an hour of my lunch hour and my deputy 'stepped up to the plate' with the children when she could see I was otherwise engaged! What a star she s!

Edited November 14, 2012 by Cait

[Guest]

As a child minder Ive come across this a lot. It becomes very waring at times. Ive had marraige break ups, work problems, illness etc. The best one though was a parent who got caught over claiming tax credits and expected me to lie for her!

 

In a way its great that they feel they can trust you enough to to tell you there problems but sometimes it can really get you down.

[Rea]

In a way its great that they feel they can trust you enough to to tell you there problems but sometimes it can really get you down.

 

Or it can make you see how wonderful your own life is, even with its ups and downs

[Panders]

Think it goes to show what stressful times we have at the moment - so many people are living with troubles of one sort or another - a kind word and then it just all bubbles up. Had tears from an Ex member of staff I bumped into in town today, she is only 25, left summer just gone to start new life with a partner she had known for best part of 5 years who lives in a totally different part of the country, he text her, TEXTED, to say he didn't want to do it any more, that was it! She had given up her job, travelled up and down the country for 5 years to see him every other weekend been planning the move for ages but that was it.

 

I knew she was very upset obviously when it happened in September, but she is still so close to tears when she speaks of it. She dreads coming into work to see us all because she knows we will go all mumsy on her and cuddle her etc. the sympathy will just be too much for her.

[sunnyday]

Think it goes to show what stressful times we have at the moment - so many people are living with troubles of one sort or another - a kind word and then it just all bubbles up. Had tears from an Ex member of staff I bumped into in town today, she is only 25, left summer just gone to start new life with a partner she had known for best part of 5 years who lives in a totally different part of the country, he text her, TEXTED, to say he didn't want to do it any more, that was it! She had given up her job, travelled up and down the country for 5 years to see him every other weekend been planning the move for ages but that was it.

 

I knew she was very upset obviously when it happened in September, but she is still so close to tears when she speaks of it. She dreads coming into work to see us all because she knows we will go all mumsy on her and cuddle her etc. the sympathy will just be too much for her.

 

Oh the poor girl - she is obviously far better off without someone who could treat her like that........but, bless her that will not stop the hurt for now.......

[Rea]

There are some very unkind people out there. How sad for her

[SueJ]

It is becoming more and more part of the service I find - have lots of crying parents, grandparents etc. sadly I think this reflects how stressful life is for many at the moment.

 

However today both myself and my deputy were in floods when a small child decided that she wanted to to come and tell us that (her words here and not mine) "Gay Jamie" had come to tea yesterday - it was just so out of the right of field and delivered so matter of fact that it just tickled us both to the extent that we were hysterical and the tears flowed - soooooooooo very unprofessional - quite an insight however into how her primary carer's friends and acquaintances are "categorised" - roll on tomorrow I can't wait to see who has come for tea today

[Stargrower]

Oh I'm really depressed now! Poor girl and everyone else with their troubles and difficulties. We do live in difficult times but there are always those little beacons of light in our days...the children! Even when things are hard for me, there is always some little person who is guaranteed to put a smile on my face. Where would we be without them?

[apple]

Well folks today I was the one crying... one of the worse days of my 12 year teaching career! Only just managed to hold it together in front of the children...

[Rea]

Oh dear Care to elaborate or is ok just to be able to tell people that much?

[Panders]

Ahh Apple, hope whatever it is, it gets worked out and you soon return to happier times

[sunnyday]

Well folks today I was the one crying... one of the worse days of my 12 year teaching career! Only just managed to hold it together in front of the children...

 

Oh no - can we help?

[apple]

Thank you for you kind words and offers of support you are all so lovely... all I can say it has just been an extra difficult day amidst a very challenging term so far.

I have been a forum member for a long time now and never felt the need (luckily) to make a post like that but seeing the tag Crying (adults not children) I though it was quite ironic that it was me that came home in tears!

Thank you once again forum friends... The Forum should be on prescription to all working in child care :1b

[Melba]

I'm with you, apple. Reading this I was just thinking it is usually me in tears, not the staff or the parents!

[Beau]

Actually, I think it's a good thing. Gone are the days of the stiff upper lip where everyone felt that they needed to keep a brave face on things and bottle up their worries and stresses inside. Now it's acceptable to share, wail, vent and eventually come out of the other side knowing that you don't have to face it on your own.

[SueFinanceManager]

I having just turned 45 am actually in a very happy place in my life at the moment, love my other half, teenage children 18 & 15 really quite settled and relatively easy to deal with, close family all well and ticking along presently and I consider myself a very lucky individual (touch wood and all that).......but I cry at the most bizarre things....things on the TV.....blubbed through most of the Olympics especially the medal ceremonies....music sets me off in the car.....you name it and I cry at it......lovely hubby and teenage children take the mickey unmercifully and when they see something they think will start me off they often pass me the box of tissues before I even start just in case

 

However, although we do show our feelings more than we used to I do wonder sometimes if it is a good thing. I watched a lot of things around remembrance day and wondered how these brave people did all they did whilst maintaining their stiff upper lip.

 

Some people find it really hard to deal with a 'weepie'....my lot are fine when I am crying over the olympics etc but if I am properly upset then my son especially runs for the hills unless he is the only person there for me to cling to thus preventing his escape.

 

I had mums in the setting weeping and we were lucky to have a kitchen with sofa separate from the main nursery so we could snuggle them up with tissues, coffee and hugs where necessary and as the years went on the occurrences did get more frequent. I think it is testament to the trust that parents put in nursery staff that they feel able to cry with you, they know you are carers and will support them best you can but as Cait highlighted it can mess up your ratios big style.

[Rea]

Outside of funerals I very, very rarely cry.

I cried all the way through reading Lovely Bones.

Some films have made me cry but then I make sure I dont watch them again!

I get a lump in my throat at the rugby when they play the national anthem, embarrassing because I cant actually sing it then! Doesnt affect me any other time.

I tend to cry at other peoples tears more than for my own reasons, but even then I swallow them down.

[sunnyday]

Actually, I think it's a good thing. Gone are the days of the stiff upper lip where everyone felt that they needed to keep a brave face on things and bottle up their worries and stresses inside. Now it's acceptable to share, wail, vent and eventually come out of the other side knowing that you don't have to face it on your own.

 

Agree with you Carol and i promise i wasn't have a 'whinge' just very interested to find out if this was peculiar to my setting or 'widespread' and possibly a sign of the raised stress levels amongst young parents these days :1b

[sunnyday]

 

 

However, although we do show our feelings more than we used to I do wonder sometimes if it is a good thing. I watched a lot of things around remembrance day and wondered how these brave people did all they did whilst maintaining their stiff upper lip.

 

 

 

 

Sue it's my belief that living through the war years made our real 'oldies' extremely 'brave' and 'tough' - my dear old mum is 91 now and copes brilliantly with all that life throws at her (touch wood).....the loss of my dad 17 years ago, the loss of all of her close friends and her own decline in mobility........

 

She was eighteen at the start of the war and just embarking on her nursing career - she witnessed some truly awful events including the death of her closest friend when the hospital in which they both worked was bombed - it was only by chance that she chose to go to the children's ward and get the children safely to the shelter that she survived this.......

 

She only talks about the war when one of us brings it up and I have oft said "mum, I don't know how any of you coped with it" - she just says "well there was no choice love, you just had to get on with it"...........

 

Just in case you can't tell - I'm so very, very proud of her :1b

[Guest babyjane31]

ahh sunnday that is so lovely your mum sounds truely amazing no wonder you are proud!

 

(typed with tears in my eyes)

[sunnyday]

ahh sunnday that is so lovely your mum sounds truely amazing no wonder you are proud!

 

(typed with tears in my eyes)

 

Thank you so much for these kind words and sorry that i made you cry........

[Cait]

Since my own wonderful Daddy died, I can't watch 'The Railway Children' for the bit when Bobby goes onto the platform at the end, and amidst all the steam (filling up just typing this) says "Daddy, my Daddy!".

 

With apologies if that set anyone else off too

[Guest]

I've been supporting parents in tears all day today and one situation is very tricky because its very hard not to let personal feelings come into it . My personal life is very stressful as well at the moment but I had to tell you about last weekends tears to put thing in pospective for us.

 

I went to the main town centre rememberance parade as my daughter who is an explorer was in it. My work collegue of 25 years was there with her young son 7. She'd promised him his lunch in Wetherspoons as a reward for being good and we were going to have a coffee. We bumped into her nephew outside with his girlfriend and 18 month old baby in a buggy when she thought he was elsewhere. He told her he was trying to organise his 21st party at a local curry buffet and would she and her 2 children like to come?

 

This all seems a very innocent story until I tell you that this young man of 20 was in a wheelchair. He lost both legs defusing a device in Afganistan last September. He had mulitple injuries and has recently had a further operation on his stumps to make them more suitable for artifical legs. They are infected and his Auntie thought he had returned to Birmingham for further treatment. He was as white as a sheet and with everything he has been through it is the first time he's told his auntie that 'it hurts Auntie Ann'. I remember him being born and Ann's excitement, we didn't know that planning his 21st would under these circumstances.

 

He wasn't wearing his uniform just sweats and when asked why his reply was 'I'm one of the lucky ones'. I didn't stay for that coffee but came home with a hidden tear and I'm trying to look at my life a llittle differently

[sunnyday]

Oh Biccy - I don't know what to say........

[Rea]

Since my own wonderful Daddy died, I can't watch 'The Railway Children' for the bit when Bobby goes onto the platform at the end, and amidst all the steam (filling up just typing this) says "Daddy, my Daddy!".

 

With apologies if that set anyone else off too

 

One of the absolute positive times I will cry, even before the train arrives because I know whats coming

[Panders]

Since my own wonderful Daddy died, I can't watch 'The Railway Children' for the bit when Bobby goes onto the platform at the end, and amidst all the steam (filling up just typing this) says "Daddy, my Daddy!".

 

With apologies if that set anyone else off too

g

 

Yes me too Cait, that line has always had that affect upon me, - don't have to watch any of the preceeding film either!

Edited November 15, 2012 by Panders

[Rea]

I've been supporting parents in tears all day today and one situation is very tricky because its very hard not to let personal feelings come into it . My personal life is very stressful as well at the moment but I had to tell you about last weekends tears to put thing in pospective for us.

 

I went to the main town centre rememberance parade as my daughter who is an explorer was in it. My work collegue of 25 years was there with her young son 7. She'd promised him his lunch in Wetherspoons as a reward for being good and we were going to have a coffee. We bumped into her nephew outside with his girlfriend and 18 month old baby in a buggy when she thought he was elsewhere. He told her he was trying to organise his 21st party at a local curry buffet and would she and her 2 children like to come?

 

This all seems a very innocent story until I tell you that this young man of 20 was in a wheelchair. He lost both legs defusing a device in Afganistan last September. He had mulitple injuries and has recently had a further operation on his stumps to make them more suitable for artifical legs. They are infected and his Auntie thought he had returned to Birmingham for further treatment. He was as white as a sheet and with everything he has been through it is the first time he's told his auntie that 'it hurts Auntie Ann'. I remember him being born and Ann's excitement, we didn't know that planning his 21st would under these circumstances.

 

He wasn't wearing his uniform just sweats and when asked why his reply was 'I'm one of the lucky ones'. I didn't stay for that coffee but came home with a hidden tear and I'm trying to look at my life a llittle differently

 

When I was volunteering at Selly Oak, I used to see loads of these young men outside having a smoke or the helicopters arriving with more of the poor souls.

All in wheel chairs or with crutches and nearly all with at least one limb missing. All of them so young and so beautiful and all around my lads ages. It broke my heart to see them.

But now and then you'd see someone walking purposefully down the corridor and only when he got close did you notice he had metal leg or legs. The way these guys are looked after and their determination is astounding and very humbling.

I hope if you see your friends nephew again you can report back that he's looking better. :1b

Edited November 15, 2012 by Rea

[Panders]

Oh Biccy, how life changes in an instant. I do so hope this young man receives all the help he so richly deserves in the coming years.

[Rea]

This is a fairly new charity I found quite by accident. I'd heard about people with injuries not being able to access the same kind of care if they were invalided out of the army and this is for them.

 

http://www.woundcare4heroes.org.uk/home