thumperrabbit Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Or is it just me? We have a really hard bunch of children this year, very young development wise (not age!) they are struggling with even sitting up unaided (at 2.5yrs) don't understand 'no' or just go into complete melt down every time they are asked to do something Parents not supporting fundraising, or even just day to day things Committee not doing their roles, lovely people but don't just seem to 'get it' Full on numbers but waiting list people really getting nasty because their child can't start (our schools all do 1 entry in Sept) so they will all probably go somewhere else. So low on money we've had to cut staff not sure how much longer we can stay afloat No help from Early Years dept any more as we got 'goods and outstandings' we are deemed as not needing support. Courses are no longer free, so unless we pay for them ourselves then it's a No, and even then if you're not in work then you don't get paid, so we are on a double loser Basically I've de-stressed over Christmas, but in 2 days it's all come back and I'm beginning to feel like it's just not worth it. Sorry to off load, but sometimes you just need to Is anyone else finding it really hard at the moment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynned55 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I agree with you on some of it More & more EAL's each year, which brings it's own set of problems - esp when so many of hteir mothers are struggling with the language as , well. Children (behaviour wise) do seem to be getting harder each year. Most of them I swear have never even heard the word no before they come to us and yes we have a large amount of sulkers this year. Like you our committee is lovely, but the seem to think that they are there to just attend a meeting every six weeks or hold a coffee morning that no other parents attend. It's not that I want them to 'interfere' as such but for example over the next couple of months we (as in ME) will have to work out a budget for next year and the staff wages for the year. Now quite when this job transferred to me instead of the Chair and Treasurer I really dont know. Most of our parents are lovely and supportive financially but forget any social or fundraising events- everything has to be done via the children as in Mufti Days - things like that Our sessions are full & waiting lists are still fairly healthy but not as healthy as they used to be- I think times are changing and we (as in committee run, secessional groups) are going to have to look to changing with them. Although quite how when our hands are tied so much with petty rules & regs governing funding and charging I'm not sure. Peoples needs change, with so many working parents now and families unable to afford to pay fees I fear for the long term future of groups like ours. I do wish parents wouldn't have a go at us because of the knock on effect of schools only having one intake! Sorry, I have just read back through this and realised what a whinge it sounds like!! Good start to the term Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I can empathise with so much of all of that. I've seen it from the position of playleader and now as chair, neither position is much fun without the support we are supposed to have. But, we continue to plod on, knowing things can only get better, the alternative doesnt bare thinking about. I agree there is too much red tape and too many rules that prevent us from swopping simply and easily from sessional committee run settings to a workable alternative. If I ever find a way I'll be sure to let you know, until then, keep smiling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No, it isn't just you. Some days I feel it really just isn't worth it, however, thankfully the children are so inspiring and the job is rewarding on the whole. We seem to have a young cohort this year too, and we've had to overcome some very challenging behaviour (which we are beginning to see results from but boy there were days when we almost were at our wits end), all on the minimum staff, with no parent fundraising committee at the moment though they have been very active, just trustees who are happy that everything is going so well and they've had the best year in a long time. Hello!!! You carry on offloading! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Im ok on the whole, we do have waiting list of moaners but hey i cant do anything about that, i have tried to get children centres to advice parents if they want a choice then to place childrens names on list when babies! we are still paying for training, i do a lot of networking with a few settings in my area and we help support each other, i also chair a forum for early years and we get to network with reception teachers and this has been great for understanding the problems we each have parents need to parent they just dont seem to these days i get more angrier when i am in my other job in a supermarket as a team leader on checkouts in the evening. Parents roll in late at night with children in tow, they should be in bed having had tea, bath, story and bed!!!!!!! well thats me done........... happy new year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynned55 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 PARENTS NEED TO PARENT Sue, You have hit the nail on the head, I think that is the major problem with so many of our children. As for children being up late well, I have lost count of the amount of parent who say' they wont go to bed' Sometimes I just want to shake them and say 'For goodness sake who is the adult here' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Parents roll in late at night with children in tow, they should be in bed having had tea, bath, story and bed!!!!!!! After 8.30pm I have no problem with using the parking bays for parents with children for just that reason, they should be in bed or well into the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 PARENTS NEED TO PARENT Sue, You have hit the nail on the head, I think that is the major problem with so many of our children. As for children being up late well, I have lost count of the amount of parent who say' they wont go to bed' Sometimes I just want to shake them and say 'For goodness sake who is the adult here' Absolutely! After 8.30pm I have no problem with using the parking bays for parents with children for just that reason, they should be in bed or well into the process. Oh I've never thought of that but yes that's quite right! thumperrabbit - sorry that you are having such a hard time....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 PARENTS NEED TO PARENT Sue, You have hit the nail on the head, I think that is the major problem with so many of our children. As for children being up late well, I have lost count of the amount of parent who say' they wont go to bed' Sometimes I just want to shake them and say 'For goodness sake who is the adult here' Hear Hear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 parents need to parent they just dont seem to these days EXACTLY!!!! Can we have that as the FSF motto for 2012, please??? Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Classic example today, in conversation with a parent who was concerned because her child was not eating his packed lunch she revealed that at home, wait for it, - he ate his food on the top of the wardrobe!! she proudly told me he 'very cleverly' uses the shelves as steps. Lost for words Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I think we are now seeing the result of the trend to allow children 'freedom' and the way their parents raised them... No matter what we say we do learn our parenting skills form our own parents, be it the ones we follow and those we say we would never do.. until we hear ourselves years late using the same phrases with our children that our parents did with us.. along with an age where they don't want to upset them or let them cry... so do anything to appease and get the child to 'like' them.. not realising that comes anyway and when they are older benefit so much from having a structure and role model to follow.. not just think ahead in 15-20 years and these children could be parents.. cannot imagine how they are going to parent their families.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 EXACTLY!!!! Can we have that as the FSF motto for 2012, please??? Nona Good idea nona! Classic example today, in conversation with a parent who was concerned because her child was not eating his packed lunch she revealed that at home, wait for it, - he ate his food on the top of the wardrobe!! she proudly told me he 'very cleverly' uses the shelves as steps. Lost for words I am holding my head in my hands.... not just think ahead in 15-20 years and these children could be parents.. cannot imagine how they are going to parent their families.. Doesn't bear thinking about really....... :wacko: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouseketeer Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 also agree with much of the above......some days now seem like an endless battle of 'coaxing/bartering' with very strong minded children, but when you see some of them out with parents you know why....they run rings around their parents ! I even question if we (due to the powers that be) give them too much choice now......as adults we can't always do what we want when we want yet we're teaching 2/3 yr olds that they can come in/go out as they want, pretty much draw where they want (and call it mark making) get pretty much anything and everything they want out........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I even question if we (due to the powers that be) give them too much choice now......as adults we can't always do what we want when we want yet we're teaching 2/3 yr olds that they can come in/go out as they want, pretty much draw where they want (and call it mark making)get pretty much anything and everything they want out........... I've wondered the same thing mouse63. I understand about choice and taking responsibility for those choices but I do sometimes wonder if too much choice is making a generation of children who will expect their own way in everything. Its about finding a balance I suppose but with so many different views on how it should be done its very difficult. I used to give my children a choice of two things, this or that, here or there. They'v grown up pretty well I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyPancakes Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Concurring with much of what has been written here, but wonder if the 'bed-time' issue might be a cultural one given the other reference to EAL? I have a family where the three and four year olds still have long sleeps in the afternoon so that they can be with the family during the evenings. I think there are many cultures where this is normal. Honey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Thank the lord that it's not only me who thinks we are, perhaps, giving little ones too much choice! We too have families from different cultures who are quite happy for their children to be up late (mind you we have just as many from our culture who don't put them to bed at reasonable times "they just wont go to bed" - again just who is the adult here!! As for eating, I had one parent say to me "how do you get her to eat at nursery, all she'll eat at home is crisps and cake", "do you offer her different kinds of food" says I? "oh yes says mum, but she wont eat it", "so what do you do then", yes you've guessed it the reply from mum was "we give her cake and crisps"; I think I walked away shaking my head!!! I rest my case!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 In our setting the children who seem to have few boundaries are in the minority. Most of them are well on the way to becoming well mannered little people. I think that children need a balance of love, choice and boundaries. I think the problem is when society ricochets from one extreme to the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Good points, Deb and HoneyPancakes! Whilst I can empathise with what you are all saying, having worked for many years in a pre-school and the last 9 in a DN, I would just ask you all to consider this. I agree, there do seem to be instances of 'leaving it to someone else', but at the end of the day, we are doing this job by choice. Many of us have invested a lot of blood, sweat and tears to reach the standards we have. I feel that we should be more professional and proactive, thinking of ways to build bridges, instead of barriers - I know this is on an Early Years Forum and not on a street corner, but we all need to be careful to police ourselves. After all, it's all about 'joined up' care and partnership working these days, isn't it? I know I wasn't a 'perfect parent' in my day, and we need to be careful not to be seen as judgmental of others - some of whom may be struggling with a role they may feel ill-prepared for. And as for the struggles to obtain support and having to pay for training - I believe we are ALL affected by this - we are in difficult times, after all, with cut backs that are savage. I know that in my area a lot of highly respected and liked advisers have been made redundant. Think about it - I'd like this debate to continue as it affects us all, but needs to be carefully thought through. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Hi all, We have had the issue of parents maybe letting their children getting away with too much.. as in we have a parent whose child frequently doesn't go to bed, so they stay up watching tv until the child falls asleep on the sofa. Another parent approached me on the first day back saying their child had been getting up at night and going into them, when I asked if this was just over Christmas thay said 'no it's been going on for a year'. However these things aren't going to change overnight are they? so we do try and offer all the support we can such as sticker charts, giving out help and advice on sleeping and just generally being a support. (the second parent actually told her child 'if you stay in your bed all night, i'll tell Rachel and she will be really proud") She did and I was Rachel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Its a good point with ref to the cultural differences and im sure for all those others we are supportive to the parents that ask for help and keep our opinions to ourselves at other times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynned55 Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Think about it - I'd like this debate to continue as it affects us all, but needs to be carefully thought through Sorry Sue, I'm a bit puzzled about what you mean here? I cant see that anyone has said anything that can be construed as offensive? I'm not trying to be difficult but genuinely cant work out what you mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I think as early years practitioners we need to consider the influences on children and families. Society continues to change. Families are much more mobile and spread about, not all parents have grandparents close by who can support and pass on parenting skills, like in the past. So parents have to do the best they can, without an instruction manual, perhaps without good models to call upon, so they turn to experienced early years practitioners for support and guidance. I for one wish I knew what I know now when my children were young . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 Think about it - I'd like this debate to continue as it affects us all, but needs to be carefully thought through Sorry Sue, I'm a bit puzzled about what you mean here? I cant see that anyone has said anything that can be construed as offensive? I'm not trying to be difficult but genuinely cant work out what you mean Perhaps just be aware that this part of the forum is open to anyone to read, even if not reply? Any number of parents surfing the net looking for advice on how to manage their children's behaviour may stumble upon this. How might it then look to see a bunch of childcare professionals having a moan about current parenting in a very generalised way - it may look very judgmental to a casual reader who may not also know how much each of you care passionately about your jobs and the children in your care. Its okay to sometimes vent, in fact it can be very therapeutic! That is exactly what the Lounge area of the forum is for - a place to kick back, relax and perhaps take off your professional hat for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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