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Negative Behaviour Log


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Hi,

I am asking the question, do RCM have such a log for the children in their care?

 

I ask this as my grandson who is two and a half, and having been with the childminder for only two days, came home with one yesterday.

 

Although I teach, I would never consider putting any child on a document with such a title.

 

Thank you in advance for your replies.

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Thanks for your prompt reply, and glad it is also how I feel. I was thinking I was just being biased becasue he is my grandson.

 

He was having a tussle with his youinger brother and supposedly 'kicked' the childminder, however I nor our extended family ahve ever seen him kick.

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:o I'm not a childminder either but I know I wouldn't be happy about this. I'd want a discussion with the Childminder as to why she was doing this and how she intended to use it, and I would be making it clear that I didn't think it was at all suitable for any child, let alone such a very young child.
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Thanks for your prompt reply, and glad it is also how I feel. I was thinking I was just being biased becasue he is my grandson.

 

He was having a tussle with his youinger brother and supposedly 'kicked' the childminder, however I nor our extended family ahve ever seen him kick.

 

An interpretation of him 'kicking' is that during the tussle his leg made contact with the childminder and in my book that does not amount to kicking! How was it dealt with other than the poor little fellow being added to a 'log'?

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Even if he did 'kick' the childminder it isn't the way to deal with it. I am just wondering that if he has only been with her for two days he may be feeling insecure and will not have built up a relationship with her? Has he been with one before, and is he perhaps having difficulty settling down at the moment? Whatever the reason it is something to discuss rather than produce such a negative way of dealing with him.

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That's the kind of thing I was thinking about the 'kick', and I kind of thought maybe a cuddle, distraction tehnique, but No the naughty step.

 

By the way my daughter had been up with the boys for several getting to know you sessions, so the child minder knew them both.

 

Also she sent home a sticker chart, downloaded from SB..... :o

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Do you know, this is making me want to cry, because I helped put them in the situation with this 'uneducated person' and subjected them to waht I feel in my heart is cruelty. xx

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Oh lordy lordy, how long have your grandchildren been going to the childminder, it seems incredibly harsh, but maybe someone has told her to log every incident going, and not use her discretion. My word my lovely little cherubs are always bashing me with trikes, toys, treading on my toes, obviously all unintentionally or clumsily, i could fill a book quite easily all on my little own. Perhaps a little word in her ear to ascertain the whole event might be a good idea. :o

Edited by bridger
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I am a childminder and I agree that this seems a very inappropriate way of dealing with behaviour, I certainly wouldn't send one home after two days in a setting unless it was extremely significant - for eg. biting another child.

I keep a "significant incident log" and use this to record and share with parents, I would only use this if behaviour was extreme and I see it as a way of being transparent with parents about how i deal with any incidents, this would then be discussed to make sure we were in agreement about the beahviour was dealt with.

I dislike with an intensity the "naughty step" - she's obviously been watching too much supernanny!! :o

 

going back to your main query though regarding keeping logs - as lone workers we do have to protect ourselves and sometimes this may mean writing more down than may be neccessary, but I do agree this instance seems over the top

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Sometimes the only way to respond is with humour isn't it! I was just gobsmacked that this poor little chap and his family suddenly get lumbered with this damning indictment after two days. I do think childminders have a right to protect themselves etc but I would have thought that any kind of log/ written analysis would maybe follow on from some dialogue between c/m and parent or would be after negative behaviour had been observed over a particular period of time. I think most of us would agree that you cannot judge a child's behaviour from his first few days (or even weeks) in a new setting and all that the childminders approach has done is to cause anxiety and concern for the parents at a time which is probably quite stressful for the child and parents at the best of times. x

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Do you know if she has been childminding long?? If she is knew we are told to document everything, and especially if it is behaviour related, with experience you learn what should be documented and how, but this does come with experience, i know you said it was his brother but if it had been another child although not the absolute explanation it can and has been used to protect us is safeguarding issues with us working on our own :o

 

I have used a chart before but after i had a child for a few months and it was just to try and find a pattern on what sparked his unwanted behaviour mainly biting and hair pulling, this was advised my ncma, but i called a meeting with the parents who were also having beahiour issues at home with their lo so they were more than happy to work and try and resolve our problems

 

Ask your daughter to meet up with the childminder and find out exactly why she is implementing this as for 1 kick it seems very OTT

 

Good luck

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Good grief!!!! in 2 days she hasn't even given him the time to settle in. Even if he has been for visits this he is now on his own. Can't imagine any situation that I would write down an incident after 2 days. We generally wait a good few months before i would even chat to a mum about "bad behaviour" has she said why she didn't give him a cuddle!!! if he's just settling in. Very harsh response. If it was my grandson I would not be happy. I have my 2 grand-daughters at pre-school with me and it can be difficult not to give favoritism especially by my staff because they know them well but that is just over the top re-action.

Maybe go with you daughter and just be in the background when she questions the lady.

Good luck

Steph

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If the children are old enough to tell in any detail about their day, make your own behaviour book about the childminder :o

 

I'm surprised and a bit uncomfortable she has a naughty step! With my own children, definitly, rope would have been useful too!! But never other peoples children! Negative behaviour sounds a bit too 'prissy' for me, behaviour book where star and stickers etc could be stuck or a sad face maybe but drop the 'negative' bit.

Hopefully she IS new to this and has just been overzealous after listening to advisors.

 

Hope your grandchildren are ok about it, if I was their mom I wouldnt mention it to them at home unless it involved stabbing brother with fork or kicking CM wih hob nail boots on. By the time they get home the incident is too old for them to have to try to relive it and remember everything so you'll only get CM side of the story.

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Hi all.

Thank you so much for funny, thoughtful and genuinely concerned responses. I made other arrangements for my daughter today to get the boys looked after, to help her get on with Uni stress free.

 

However tonight we have discussed it as a family and they are NOT going back. We are going to struggle for a few weeks whilst we find someone who will care for them as one should.

 

The CM was relieved to say the least, odd don't you think? And yes by the way this was her first position as a CM, but had been a TA in a primary school before retraining.

 

I shall be taking this matter further as I don't want anyone to feel like this.

 

Thanks xxx

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She was relieved? That's odd. What did she say about their behaviour generally? Perhaps you should get some details from her about the rest of the time they were with her. I'm not saying the naughty step and negative behaviour book were the way to go, but it is just possible your grandsons were 'acting up' for her in a major way, particularly if she wasn't very good at being firm from the outset and then got herself into a bit of a 'tizz' so to speak when she realised she should have been.

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However tonight we have discussed it as a family and they are NOT going back. We are going to struggle for a few weeks whilst we find someone who will care for them as one should.

 

The CM was relieved to say the least, odd don't you think? And yes by the way this was her first position as a CM, but had been a TA in a primary school before retraining.

 

I shall be taking this matter further as I don't want anyone to feel like this.

 

Thanks xxx

 

I am a childminder and I've never in my 13+ years registered completed (or even heard of!) a negative behaviour book - it goes against everything I believe and/or have have learned about behaviour management :o

 

Both as a childminder and a parent I'm THRILLED that your grandsons aren't going back and I wholeheartedly encourage you to contact your LA childminder support team and Ofsted with your concerns - far too often children are withdrawn from settings after issues have arisen and are never resolved.

 

Even as a newly registered childminder she should, from previous experience, have better behaviour management policies than this! And as for "the CM being relieved"..... perhaps she's just realised there's more to childminding and it's not quite as easy as she thought xD

 

Please let us know how you get on.

 

Nona

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Thanks again all had a very sleepless night, and feel the CM needs to learn so will contact my LA, hopefully for her professional development and to stop it happening again.

 

I will let you know how we get on over the next few weeks.

 

Thank you all,

Xx

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Hi Juliesusan i am also relieved that your family have made alternative arrangements for your grandchildren.

I do think that the CM needs to revaluate her practice, or have further training to see if this is the most appropriate career path for her.

Good luck :o

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Hi all,

 

I phoned the LEA today and explained, they said they would be in touch with her to arrange further training with her mentor.

 

Still searching for a CM though.

 

Thansk again.

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Hi all,

 

I phoned the LEA today and explained, they said they would be in touch with her to arrange further training with her mentor.

 

Still searching for a CM though.

 

Thansk again.

If you go to the OFSTED site and follow the links you should be able to select 'childminder' and then put in your postcode and choose the mileage radius you want and it will give a list of reports. The childminders are not personally identified but the reports give a nice bit of background etc etc

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I work in pre-school although I did childmind many years ago. She's probably realising that what she thought was a "cushy number" is actually a difficult job requiring many skills. As a TA she has not been the person with overall responsibility. It is very different working as part of a team, particularly where you have people working in a higher level to yourself who can set the ground rules and who are able to advise you - to working by yourself and having to make your own decisions. Maybe her behaviour has come of a result of underestimating how difficult her new role would be and she has been over zealous in wanting to appear 'professional' when what she maybe feels is 'overwhelmed'. Anyway - I would hope this is the case and that she's not just a nutter!!

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Hi all,

 

I phoned the LEA today and explained, they said they would be in touch with her to arrange further training with her mentor.

 

Still searching for a CM though.

 

Thansk again.

 

That's a step in the right direction!

 

As for a new CM try either the local Family Information Service or Children's Centre - they may have links with local childminders. Good Luck!

 

Nona

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  • 2 weeks later...

HI, here is an update, my two grandsons have been to a new CM today and had a brilliant day.

 

The eldest who is nearly 3 said to mummy as he got in the car, "I am a good boy now no more naughty step for me"

That made me sad to think he had been worried about this from the previous strange and odd CM.

 

The CM today said yes they had been brothers who likea rough and tumble, but were certainly not unkind or unnatural.

So a happy daughter for me too.

 

Thanks for all your advice and support. Lets hope they stay happy and daughter gets her degree. :oxD:(

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Wow! Sad to hear what happened to their previous CM and glad they have a better one! What a horrible name to use on that 'log'! First of all, they were there only for 2 days and, if something of real concern was to be spoken out, then she should have done so with you or your daughter... not in a 'log'. Goodness sake!

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