Funny Things Children Say

[Running Bunny]

I go to Funky Monkeys music group with Eva and we have lots of monkeys, animals and puppets to use during the songs.

 

One of the puppets is the old woman who swallowed a fly and all the animals that go with it. The old woman is just that... old... grey hair, wrinkled face, wart on her nose etc We have only had her for about a month but every time the group leader gets her out one little boy shouts 'Mummy!' without fail.

 

Needless to say, Mummy is young, pretty, brown hair and absolutely mortified... but we all fall about laughing every time.

[MrsWeasley]

a little boy at nursery has taken to pointing to my chin and saying 'Beard! Beard!' I happened to mention it to mum and she was relieved, he'd been saying it to her too and she was beginning to get a complex! lol

 

We've had shaving foam in the builders tray today and I was quite happily sitting doing some writing with a child. Next thing, one boy comes over and says, "Put it on your beard then.."

[Guest]

i had one little boy who was in the toilet and when he had finished going to the loo {sorry} he had a long pice of tissue hanging out of his bottom,and said"look im a dog" and waged his bum.

[Guest]

a few years back one boy age 3 looked intently at me and said" are you really a man with a tuppence cos youve got a tash!!!! then an hour later i was helping a child and bending down ans he said "ooh your hairs gone blonde!" (im dark brown) went sraight home to do my grey roots ans slap on some immac!!!

a fwe weeks ago we had a power cut and one child said" i must start eating my carrots!! i thought my eyes had gone shut! i think the best one is i asked a child to wash his hands in the toilets and he did literally!! found him with his hands down the loo!!!!

[MrsWeasley]

I'm not sure how exactly this conversation came about, but I had this conversation with one of the boys:

 

Him - Iggle Piggle is on my telly.

Me - He's on my telly too!

Him - Where is your telly?

Me - In my house

Him - Is it in your lobby?

Me - No. Mine's in my living room.

Him - Does your house have a lobby?

Me - No, does yours?

Him - It has two.

Me - Wow.

Him - Why doesn't your house have a lobby?

 

And then later he was talking to me about a swimming pool and I said to him, "In your house?" and he replies.. "No, in the garden silly!"

 

[purplewednesday1]

When I was teaching a Year 4 PE lesson (before I saw the Early Years light!!!) we were 'playing' badminton when one of my lovlies came up to me and said " 'ere miss, you got one of them cuttlefish?". Took me a while to realise he meant shuttlcock!

 

Or then there were the identical twins of whom only one had a speech and language difficulty ... only one of them came to school one day and I said "Hello X where's Y?" (they did have real names ... but to protect the innocent!!....) X then cheerily replied "Not here Miss, he's gone beech ferpy" (speech therapy) - I never was sure whether the right twin was being helped!!

[Lyanne]

This afternoon I put a sheet of yellow stickers (which had different silly facial expressions on) on the mark making table just to see what they would use them for- was thinking they would perhaps pretend they were giving out stickers. When they came in from outside lo and behold went straight to stickers and began distributing them to each other.

One little boy decided to put them all over his arm- 'oh you look like you've got chicken pox' I smiled so of course everyone immediately began sticking them all over their jumpers and faces but bless, one little girl comes up to me smiling with stickers all over her face: 'I've got chicken pops! I've got chicken pops!' she laughs

so funny cuz then all the others (bar a few older ones) were going round with 'chicken pops' hehe

 

One of our little girls goes to another setting in the mornings. She came in the other day with felt tips spots all over her arms, so I said 'Oh hername, look at all your spots, have you got chicken pox?'

'No, I'm a ladybird, look,' showing me the red paint on her shirt, 'Cos they're all red here and here.'

[Beatrice]

The following conversation was recorded at Playgroup one afternoon. Names changed etc.

 

 

Oliver was in the Wendy house. Callum came up on his bike. Oliver opened the door and said, "Yes? Can I help you?"

Callum: I want some nails and a screwdriver.

Oliver: (glancing behind him) Sorry, I don't have nails or a screwdriver.

Callum: Oh. ... Can I have some beer and some chocolate?

Oliver: Sorry. I don't have any beer or chocolate.

Callum. Oh, well what do you have?

Oliver: Um, let me see (he went into the 'shop' then came back to the door and said helpfully) "I've got a cucumber!

Callum: Oh, OK. I'll have a cucumber then please.

Having got his 'cucumber', Callum rode off smiling and Oliver went back into his shop.

 

Where else but in the imagination of a four-year-old can you make a trail from nails to cucumbers. It's gems like that, that can make your day!

[Cait]

The other week my two oldest girls were playing in the home corner and 'suzie' started sulking for no particular reason, and 'gemma' came across to me where I was sitting making some notes. She leaned her elbow on my shoulder, inclined her head towards 'suzie' and said 'She's not gonna sulk until she's FIVE is she?' (they both just had their 4th birthdays)

[Guest]

one of our our holiday club children has just said to a new member of staff (who is on the v. large side) can i have a cuddle, ohhh your just like a big squishy pillow!!!! she took it as a compliment though, bless her!

[blackcat]

putting the children on the school mini-bus I banged my head with the roof being rather low. Ryan shouted out "Miss you need to go on a diet and then you wouldn't of banged your head."

[Guest MaryEMac]

Yesterday I wasn't on the rota to work but I went in anyway to sort out some paperwork, mad or what? I didn't wear my uniform but wore jeans and sweatshirt. One little girl came into the office to see what I was doing and then said. " Why aren't you wearing your school clothes,and why are you wearing your play clothes?" Bless

 

Mary

[Guest]

The other day a few of the boys in my Reception class decided to use the fishing rods from a magnetic fish game to see if they would stick to different objects around the room. Seeing that they were doing this I started to ask them why they stuck to some objects and not others, trying to get them to think about what they were made from. One of the boys then tried to stick the end of the rod onto a sticklebrick, when I asked him why it didn't stick he wasn't sure so I asked him what it was made from, his reply was "stickle", it did make me chuckle, of course why didn't I know sticklebricks are made from stickle!!!

[Cait]

Yeah - did you know that 'B.I.N.G.O. spells Don't touch!'

[Guest]

We was doing mothers days cards most recenlty , a little girl had done her hand print on her card , i asked her what words she would like to put in it to say thankyou for all the kind things mummy did for her , explaining the kind words mummy would like to read , she then pipe up and said can you ask mummy why .....?... as moved in ,mmmmmmmm could you picture her mummy face if i had done that ,like to had she chose for picking up all our toys.

[Gezabel]

I came out of the kitchen at preschool yesterday and a little chap who had his back to me turned around and looked suprised to see me and said..

 

Ohh ... hello gorgeous (made my day!!!)

[Guest]

My 6 year old son asked me a while ago could 2 men get married. Being open minded and wanting to raise my son to be open to all cultures, creeds and life styles I told him that yes 2 men can get married.

 

My son and his daddy were discussing marriage the other evening and his dad asked him was he going to get married. James reply was "No I dont think I will, although mummy was telling me that 2 boys can get married so I think I will try that!!"

 

Hubby's face was a picture!!

 

He was out today playing with his cousin and her friends and one of them told James that she was gonna marry him when they grew up! He can into the house to tell me what she had said and then said "I really don't agree with her, I tried telling her but she wouldnt listen. How can you marry someone like that??"

 

Heaven help the woman (or man) that gets him!! :wacko:

[blondie]

one of my keychildren returned last week after having had chicken pox - he told me

"charlie (his brother) has cheeky spots now " awwwwwwwww

[Andreamay]

we had jam sandwiches for snack today. I explained to the children that when I was little I called a jam sandwich a jam butty!!! Well none of them had heard of it and we discussed the fact it was a 'funny word' butty!!! We pondered over it this funny word for awhile and then a little lad turned to me and said I know Andrea .... is it spanish? !!!!!! bless !!

[Guest MaryEMac]

Today one of our little boys stayed for lunch as his mum had gone into Peterborough and she intended to pick him up at 12.15. Unfortunately she rang me at 12.20 to say that there had been an accident and the road was closed and she would be late. Told her not too worry and that her son was fine. I told him that mummy was going to be a bit late because the road was closed. His response........How did that happen then? I told him that there might have been a car accident or a lorry could have broken down. He just looked at me and said" that's pants " and went back to the cars.

 

Mary

[Guest]

we was playing outside today I ask one of the boys if he would like to come and play Farmer Farmer may we cross your feild, his reply was no thankyou I dont want chicken spots agian, I said you dont get chicken pox through playing farmer farmer, he said well the last time I played it I got chicken spot and i dont like being spotty.

 

Rosie

[Upsy Daisy]

When my younger daughter was three we would sometimes have toasted waffles with golden syrup for breakfast as a treat. One morning I asked her what she would like for breakfast and she replied

 

"Wolves with golden soup, please."

 

Well thats it, the image stuck and we now have wolves with chocolate spread or golden soup on special occasions.

[Cait]

So today we had a brief look at 'Frenchness'. We had croissants for snack and when they'd eaten them I asked the children on my table if they'd liked them, to which they replied they had. So I said, "In French you'd say 'c'est bon'" So they said 'Bong' so I said again, "C'est bon" and they replied 'Bong' again. Realising what was going on (C'est sounds like 'say') I said well you'd say "yes, it's nice" "Oui, c'est bon" and Abigail said, "yes, Mrs Faulkner, we (oiu) say (c'est) bong, we said it"

 

Back to the drawing board

[Guest]

A little chap asked me to read what the name said on his jacket today.

I looked at the name and told him, 'it says Ben, can you please put your shoes by your tray so that no one will trip over them'

His reply?

No I don't think so, but I think you need to put your glasses on Mrs B

 

Made me smile all day,

 

jackie.

[HappyMaz]

A little girl in my group has a birthday at the weekend. We were discussing when to do our celebrations and mum turned to the child and said "when are you four, little Jenny?"

 

Little Jenny looked up at mum adoringly and said "on my birthday!".

 

Can't fault that logic can you?

 

Maz

Edited June 12, 2009 by HappyMaz

[Guest]

Whilst explaining why we wash our hands for snacks (to get the germs off), a little girl replied matter-of-factly, " Cillit Bang gets the germs out". It was as though she was an official spokesperson for the company!

[Guest]

A child wrote 'You are my Super Dud' on his fathers day card. I carefully placed a top on the u later

[Guest]

Yesterday little girl ask if she could be the hairdresser do my hair , after brushing it for while pretending to wash it . starts looking through it she pipes up your ok julie you have no nits, that did make me laugh and brighten my day . At the present moment we have out break of headlice so guess her mummy's been checking her hair ., she then asked if i would like her to cut it at that stage i clearly gave her no thankyou leave that to the hairdresser this afternoon lol.

[Guest MaryEMac]

Listening in yesterday as 3 children chatted in a corner. Girl 1 "I kissed him". Boy " whatever did you go and do that for?". Girl 1 " cos I love him". Girl 2 "yes, she does". I do wish I'd caught the preceding comments though. The boys face was a picture of disgust. I will miss this lot in September.

 

Mary

[Guest]

I was at a wedding, and the pastor was preaching about "the good book". He went on and on about how "there's this special book" which teaches us about life, how to be happy, be successful, etc.

 

The child next to me leans over and goes "So good this book...We have to steal it from him!"

 

 

 

Regards

Mark

http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com/