Funny Things Children Say

[Guest MaryEMac]

Last week we had been watching a woodlouse make it's way across the paving slabs. The children were enthralled when we put small obstacles in it's way and they saw it using his antennae to find a way round it. A little girl came out of the playgroup and said "what are you looking at?" When we told her she just said oh and trod on the woodlouse. I was dumbfounded.

 

Mary

[Rea]

A little girl at nursery today showed me her handbag and purse. I asked if they were from home or nursery, she said 'from home'. 'Should they be in in your locker then?' I asked. 'No' she replied, 'they should be on my peg'

A bit later I was telling her and another child that I was really a princess, little girl said I couldnt be because I wasnt wearing a dress and then put me into timeout for telling lies.

 

I'm going to miss her

[HappyMaz]

This afternoon we had our 'newbies' at playgroup. One little girl was in the graphics area and I was helping her to put her name on the picture for her mum. Then she said," my daddy is called Nigel and my mummy is called babe". All I could think of to say was "oh" and then I dived into the kitchen to have a little chuckle. .

 

Mary

Apologies if I've said this before, but during a conversation about what daddies were called, one little boy was finding it difficult to understand - and kept saying 'daddy'. So I asked "what does mummy call daddy then?". Without a thought he said "muppet"...

 

Maz

[JacquieL]

Today when talking with the children I mentioned my 'Mummy' One little girl laughed and said' You don't have a Mummy'. I told her that I did and she was adamant that I didn't 'You're too big to have a Mummy.' I think she may have meant too old

 

( my 'Mummy' is 94)

[Guest]

"I don't see my daddy....he's a black sheep"

 

Today!!

 

My favourite was last year.2 boys playing with the duplo build a house set.The 'house' was made and they were placing figures in it.

Child 1

"this is mummy...and this can be daddy"

child 2 excitely snatching up a figure

"....and this can be the social worker!"

[HappyMaz]

In preparation for a visit from the farm yesterday, we were talking about our favourite farm animals. One little chaps said "giraffes". When I asked what giraffes did on the farm he said "they eat the slugs".

 

So now you know what to do if slugs are eating your cabbages - just hire a giraffe as pest control!

 

Maz

[Rea]

Heather was 4 today, we sang happy birthday and later Chloe (aged 3) asked me 'will Heather have a baby now?'

'ERM, why do ask that Chloe?' asked I.

'Well, Hollie had one and she's 4'

Hollies mom had recently given birth and the idea must have stuck.

Must remember to tell Chloes mom what to expect in a few months time

 

 

Arent kids amazing?

 

 

 

names have been changed to protect the innocent

[Guest MaryEMac]

We have been talking about healthy foods and how they were good for us. My assistant asked the children if they knew what milk was good for hoping for a reply about teeth and bones. Elle-Mae piped up,"tea and coffee". Bless her.

 

Mary

[beth1]

I went to my couins wedding evening reception. One of my other couins DD said she was a mermaid instead of a bridesmaid! Bless her little cotton socks she only 3 years old.

 

 

Beth

[Guest]

This is a great topic to revisit isn't it.

 

My daughter ( 4yrs) was telling us at dinner time all the things she had learnt at school today, including her new made up song, then my son ( 9 yrs) said "ooh, I learnt something new today" I asked did you, what did you learn?" he replied " I learnt hmm aar, hmm, I don't know, then went on to ask his sister , "What did I learn it was definately something?"

 

Peggy

[Guest]

It's not something that a child said, but something that he did today. I popped into a room as I had seen a 2 year old helping to clean the table after lunch, and I wanted to say well done. At that very second, before I had had chance to do this, they turned around, lifted up the lid of the gold fish tank, and dipped their cloth in, squeezed it out and carried on cleaning

[Guest MaryEMac]

The other afternoon we put out some coloured plastic stepping stones on the grass. One little girl jumped from one to another saying, "red,blue, green etc". Her friend who is not as athletic copied her and said, " Red, grass, blue, grass, green, grass etc".

 

Mary

[Guest]

This thread really made me smile and I thought I would add one I heard today.

Child 1 "Why don't you get your mum to make some soup like this when you get home?"

Child 2 " I CAN'T CONTROL MY MUMMY!!"

[Verona]

Not actually a funny thing a child said but........

Today my daughter went to a toddler group and was introduced to some of the mums there. She was introduced to a mum and her daughter Polly --------the daughters middle name as it so happens is Esther (after her Grandma) Well, when my daughter told me, I chuckled - I thought she was joking........you have to be careful what names you put together you know......sorry to anyone that has a daughter with the same name.

 

Sue J

[shazzam]

had a grandma bring in her granddaughter today, grandma said "we are not friends today" i ask why and she replied "i was getting dressed this morning and granddaughter said grandma you have to wear really big pants dont you"

[HappyMaz]

During a conversation about pets and animals in general, one little boy said "I would really love a chicken!". "Ahhh" says the grown up supportively "what - in your garden?".

 

"No" says the chap (with that "what planet are you on?" look on his face) - "with garlic bread!".

 

Maz

[Guest]

When i was training to be a nursery nurse, i was on placement in a early years setting and i was talking to the children about their families, one little boy told me his daddy was picking him up that day, i said "i dont think i've seen your daddy before" to which he replied "you will know who he is cos he's got lots of tattoos and a big willy"

 

Sarah

[Guest]

Have thouroughly enjoyed reading this thread. There is one funny story I would like to add.

One little girl at Nursery had had 'an accident' and had been given a change of underwear. She returned the next day and announced in a loud voice to the Nursery Nurse ' Jenny, my Dad has got your knickers in his pocket!' All the adults chuckled as Jenny tried to explain the situation!!! (At least they had been washed!!)

[Guest]

Had a giggle this week. We were playing an alliterative game with the children's names. I had come up with Eddie's entertaining elephant. The children seemed to like it, heard the initial phoneme, so I thought I'd ask if anyone could explain 'entertaining'. "yes, it means having lots of babies" interesting euphemism! or was she thinking of expecting!

 

AOB

[Guest]

Hi had to discreetly laugh!

A child was not joining in and so was trying to get this girl invoolved in something But today as on asking a child if they would like to have a snack and drink durig session she replied "No, I got food at home!"

[Guest]

Had introduced story of Noahs Ark and explained that Noah was a good man who had a wife and 3 sons.

 

Later a child had drawn a picture of Noah with 3 yellow sons in the sky!!!!!!

 

I tried my hardest (through the tears of laughter and belly-ache) to explain what a son was but ended up confusing her even more! We laughed for the rest of the afternoon and the children went home still believing Noah had 3 suns in his sky.

 

The picture was mounted in the staff room!

[Guest]

After a really bad week,

Friday had a small giggle in store for me:

 

A couple of our children have been playing weddings this week (spontaneously).

We had transformed the role play area to become a garage - no such luck, I peeped over the edge, to find the new groom with a pretend torch & pair of plastic plyers, tweeking the brides tummy button! They caught me peeping "we're having our baby now"!

lol x x

[Guest]

I've got a lovely one: When hearing one of my class read, my TA commented that the child has lovely long eyelashes. The child replied: 'yes it is a real problem, my mummy hasn't cut them for a whole year!'

[Guest]

My assistant was talking to the children about feelings and faces and they got onto the subject of being beautiful, she then went on to tell all the children they are all beautiful in their own way, my assistant then asked "am i beautiful?" and one of our rather out spoken little boys said quite proudly "my dad said you would be pretty in the dark"

 

Her face said it all, but we laughed all session and when dad came to pick his little boy up i was dying to ask if i'd be pretty in the dark too but thought better of it!

 

Sarah

[Guest]

I said something embrassing on Monday and I've blushing ever since.

 

On Monday morning which was horribly dark, foggy and very wet I was on the main door greeting parents and children.Because we have an automatic door that closes and needs a fob swipping it has to be manned by staff until the children have self registered and parents are ready to leave.

I was letting a nightshift working dad out when he said.

"Right that's that I'm off to bed now" without thinking and looking at the weather I replied

"I think I'll come with you" then realised what I'd said....*BLUSH*

 

His wife says he'll not let me forget it all year

[HappyMaz]

My assistant was talking to the children about feelings and faces and they got onto the subject of being beautiful, she then went on to tell all the children they are all beautiful in their own way, my assistant then asked "am i beautiful?" and one of our rather out spoken little boys said quite proudly "my dad said you would be pretty in the dark"

 

Her face said it all, but we laughed all session and when dad came to pick his little boy up i was dying to ask if i'd be pretty in the dark too but thought better of it!

 

Sarah

I remember one of our dads coming in with a bag of baby toys he had promised one of our staff because her friend had recently had a baby. He came in, laden down with stuff and said "I've brought these in for.... well I can't remember her name, but she's the good looking one!".

 

We all just stared at him until he realised what he had said, and then we didn't let him live it down for ages!

 

Maz

[Guest]

Last week we were giving out the parts for the Nativity play, talking about the parts as we went. We named the children who would be playing the shepherds and I said 'Now if we've got shepherds we are going to need some....?' 'TEATOWELS' shouted one of my reception boys!! The other 2 staff and myself were actually crying. I had been hoping for 'sheep'!! - but that was the boring answer

 

The following day the KS1 children came in to practise some songs and the cousin of the same little boy was singing absolutely beautifully so she stood up and sang on her own. After praising her I asked the class "Do you know what its called when you sing a song on your own?" The same little boy said "COMING OUT!" My expression was probably priceless. I had the image of him going home and saying "Our 'Suzy ' came out today". When we thought about it - we realised we ask the children if they would like to 'come out' (to the front) and sing on their own.

 

I love this - hearing of all the great things the kids say - ALWAYS puts a smile on my face.

 

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

[Guest]

A nativity story i heard recently from another teacher...

 

A little boy desperately wanted to be Joseph but the part was given to someone else. he was given the part of the Innkeeper.

 

During rehearsals Joseph knocks on the innkeepers door

 

'We're looking for a bed for the night, do you have anywhere we can stay?'

 

the innkeeper replies 'Yes, she can come in, but you can piss off!!!!!!!!!!!!'

[hali]

 

one of our little boys named joseph went home the other day, his mum asked him what he was going to be in the nativity...

 

he replied 'im just joseph'.. mum didnt get it ..

 

till i explained when she asked me why wasnt he being anything in the play :wacko:

[Guest MaryEMac]

This is not so much what a child said but what they did. Thursday was a very busy session with not one but two NVQ assessors in to assess 3 members of staff. I realised that one child was missing from the main room, so guessing correctly I found her in a locked toilet cubicle with one of the boys. He was sending me 'get me out of here vibes' and she was holding a bottle and jug from the home corner. The jug was full of water, so I said to her, 'please tell me that you filled that bottle from the tap'. She looked at me, shook her head and pointed to the toilet bowl . Luckily no-one had used the loo yet, so I made them wash their hands twice and I did the same after putting the articles in disinfectant. I found it funny at the end of session but at the time I was worried. Later found out that her mum lets her play in the bathroom at home, I'm hoping that they have a separate toilet.

 

Mary