Funny Things Children Say

[Verona]

I had a day off from Pre-school and on my return one of the parents said "Did you enjoy your horse riding yesterday?"

Apparently, when asked by a child where I was, a member of staff said I was on a course.......

 

The child had told his mum, I was on a 'horse' - so she ASSUMED I was horse riding. I hate to admit to it but you would never get me close to a horse - I'm petrified of them!!

 

Sue J

[Inge]

Today at preschool while waiting with his dad

one little boy told us in a loud, clear voice

 

"Daddy has brought me today because he has a sore willy"

 

no answer to that really

 

dad blushed and hid, we had to answer the child but I really cannot remember what we said, and dad did not come back to collect him at the end of the session, mum did... wonder if we will see him again?

 

Inge

[Lucy P]

Fantastic Inge!!

 

It reminds me of something which happened a few years ago... i will apologise in advance if this is too much information for some of you

 

I was reading 'The Hairy Toe' to a group of pre-school children and a few parents had arrived to collect their children. They were all waiting at the side of the room until the story had finished.

 

I was reading the story in my best 'booming' voice, when one of the boys said "My Daddy's got a big hairy willy" (this daddy was standing in the room!) one of the other dad's started laughing smugly at him, at that point his own daughter said "mine hasn't" and every single parent in the room burst into hysterics, the smug dad was bright red.

 

It took me about a year to stop cringing with embarrasment about it

[Guest]

How funny!!!! My story isn't half as funny as that! I was reading a story yesterday about saying sorry where two children were best friends, fell out then made up and said sorry. I thought all the children had listened and understood the importance of saying sorry and I asked two children to role play breaking friends after the story. I then turned to the class and said "What should they do now?" (thinking someone would say "say sorry") To this one little girl stood up and chanted "fight, fight, fight, fight!!!" I give up

[Guest]

We've just had a fresh outbreak of the perennial problem .......... can you guess what? Suffice to say a little girl came rushing in and proudly announced 'I've got woodlice'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest]

A little girl came into my area this morning and began painting a pink picture. I asked her to tell me about her painting

 

"it's the sky, I saw the pink sky last night."

 

Was it pretty I asked "oh yes" she replied "I love it when the world goes up!!"

 

Sweet!!

[Guest]

I was talking to my keyworker group today about birthdays and asking them how old they were and how old they would be on their next birthday. One 3yr old girl insisted that she was sixty!!

Anita

[Guest]

Some of these are so funny! It made me think of a few week's ago when we were doing pets as a topic. One child brought in a story about a puppy who is about to have a birthday. He tells his dog parents that he wants a pet person. All the family find reasons to dissuade him. Grandma dog tells him that people are lovely when they are small but when they get big they develop embarrasing habits. I was just about to turn the page and find out what sort of habits were in question, when a young man near the front of the group piped up: 'My daddy's got embarrasing habits, he looks at pictures of naked ladies' After a few seconds silence the flood gates opened ....'My daddy snores'.... 'Sometimes they drink too much then they get drunk!' (digusted tone of voice). It was so hard to stop the mother's union meeting and get back to the story and discover, horror of horrors the bad behaviour in question was eating at the table!

 

Angela

[Rea]

We had a little boy ages ago who, on looking through a catalogue to cut pictues of clothing out of, turned to the ladies undergarmets page and declared 'My mom looks like that' Suspenders, basque, stockings, thong!

[Verona]

Having had time out for a minute a little boy went off to play 'nicely' he was going to share and be friendly towards the other children. After perhaps one minute. he rushed back to me, sat on a chair next to me, folded his arms , grinned widely and said "Well, I've been good, I'm really impressed with myself "

You can't help but love them......even the more challenging ones!! (By the way, yes, I was impressed as well)

 

Sue J

[Rea]

I took my new kitten into work this morning (quick visit while I waited for the vet to open) Twenty pairs of little hands petted it, but when I said I had to go to the vets one little girl asked 'Are you going to grow her?'

[Guest]

Reading these reminds me of our christmas howlers. I was teaching them "Little Donkey" and we were discussing why there was a donkey in the story. Answers ranged as follows:

A donkey looks like a reindeer and Santa has those

The donkey had a baby

The donkey visited Jesus

People came to see the donkey because they like donkeys.

When Jesus and the donkey grew up they became friends (Shrek 2 had just come out I think!)

 

So who knows what Bethlehem is?

"The man who looks after the donkey!"

 

I tried again at Easter.

What is the real reason we celebrate Easter?

"It's because a rabbit comes down the chimney when we're asleep and if we've been good he leaves easter eggs at the bottom of the bed!"

Don't you just love 'em?

And we are a church school! I've got my work cut out.

Heyjude

[Guest]

In RE we've been working on the church and worship. The other day we had a bit of unexpected free time and decided to use it to find out the children's thoughts about the church. We had lots of lovely pictures of brides, christenings and super comments to scribe about them. Then I got to a reluctant participant: "Would you like to draw me a picture about the church?" "No" "You have been to one though haven't you?" (We had a christmas celebration in the parish church where our children performed a nativity play, said character was a king) "yeah when I was a kid" "Do you remember when we went to the church all together to celebrate Christmas?" "Yeah" "Who did you dress up as?" "A king!" He decided to draw that. Then I said "what shall I write, it was all about a special story wasn't it?" His eyes lit up:"The three pigs!" our current topic Oh well!

 

When he'd finished his picture he said "My Mum showed our baby" I was a bit suprised as they don't have one. "No, he's dead" "Oh dear how sad for everybody" then as he was looking rather shifty "how did it happen?" "A robber came and shot mummy in the tummy" I wondered if it was a true or pretend story, more shifty looks and a gruff "pretend" followed!!

 

Angela

[Guest]

We have a church yard next to our hall which we walk through most days, the other day there was a large hole awaiting a funeral. Lots of questions about that, so we talked about our heart beat, how we need to breath etc. The next day the hole was filled and we admired the lovely flowers " To say we love and miss you".

One girl in particular was very struck about the topic of dying. To the point that when she visited her Nan at the weekend she said to her " Nan, don't stop breathing because if you do you will die and I love you too much".

 

Maybe not a "funny" story but she was so earnest when she told me about it and it's opened up a lot of talk, in a natural, curious way, about how we should look after ourselves, keep safe ( roads etc) and love each other every day we are together.

 

Peggy

[Magenta]

I had a shock when I first started at my school, after playtime a Reception class child ran up to me and said "Someone's died on the railway!!"

The railway runs alongside our field so I was rather worried!

I was then told by an older child that there was a funeral at the cemetry which is adjacent to the railway line!!

[Guest]

Whilst working with a group of children today a boy suddenly said "tart means silly."

"Oh" I said.

"My sister[8yrs & into make-up] wanted to dress up as a tart, but my mum said no, that was silly." !!!!

 

Anita

[Guest]

I love it when children take things literally,

 

Boy with leg in plaster ( he was knocked over in the street) " I'm dead"

 

Adult " No, I don't think so, your leg is broken"

 

Boy " No, I'm dead"

 

Adult " Really, can you feel your heart beat?"

 

Boy " Yes, but I'm dead, my mum said, If you run across the road you'll get dead."

 

(So, of course if mum says so, he must be)

 

Peggy

[Guest]

We had a long episode of role play today, involving 'Dr Who and the Garlics!'

[Guest]

My Daughter and her son ( age 4 yrs) scenario today;

 

Mum- " It's cold outside, do you want to stay with Nana indoors, or come to the shop with me"

 

He chooses to go to the shop.

 

then he said " but if you are cold Mummy, I'll go to the shop on my own, I can carry the shopping"

 

Mum starts to explain why he can't go on his own, he butts in and said

 

"Don't worry, if a stranger gets me I'll say ( putting hands up) Back Off, I don't need a home, I've got one"

 

Mum nearly wet herself with laughter

 

(He thinks strangers want to take him home because he is a lovely boy )

 

 

Peggy

[Rea]

Priceless Peggy

 

 

And a coincidence that this thread has been revived...A small girl was sitting on my lap yesterday and said to me 'I can smell you' I asked (with perfect confidence ) if it was a nice smell or a bad smell, her reply 'It's an Andrea smell' Small children scare me

[Inge]

Just to add another gem

 

Yeaterday in water tray we had a child playing with a variety of animals/creatures discussing them with an adult,

which ones live in water (sharks, fish and jellyfish )

which can come out of the water and live on the land (crabs ) and why?

 

Then the adult noticed a small toy dog at the bottom of the water and asked what happened to the dog when he was in the water........

 

reply ..... He gets clean!!!

 

No argument with that one!!

 

Inge

[Marion]

Priceless Peggy   

And a coincidence that this thread has been revived...A small girl was sitting on my lap yesterday and said to me  'I can smell you'    I asked (with perfect confidence  ) if it was a nice smell or a bad smell, her reply 'It's an Andrea smell'    Small children scare me 

49025[/snapback]

 

 

Well it's better than the comment I had from a child in my class last year.

She said you smell nice (I was quickly thinking which perfume I used that morning) when she added...........just like carrots

[bubblejack]

My 8 year old granddaughter came to pre-school with me because her school was closed. She has been brought up to live and breathe pre-school all of her life. She saw a space in the hall so she first organised some ring and hoop games.When children got fed up she went into the inner depths of the cupboard where no-one treads and bought out things that she did with the children. Yesterday she said " sorry I didn't do much learning with the children, counting and reading and things". She then proceeded to do a plan for when she comes next time ( I often open in the Easter holidays. She had drawn 2 columns one for the activity the other for resourses. She then said "would it be o.k to put in another column for PLAY and FUN"

[Guest]

Does anyone else have a Sweetie Room

 

Today a child who's fairly new in our setting asked his class teacher: "Are we going to the Sweetie Room?" She really couldn't think what he was talking about. Then she got the helpful interjection from an old hand "He means the ICT Sweet" Anyone fancy being Sweetie Coordinator in their school!

 

Angela

[Rea]

My mom was playing shops with my 4yr old neice Abi. The till broke and mom suggseted Abi phone for an engineer. Abi said 'we dont need an engineer, we need a builder' Mom argued that a builder was more suited to other work but that an engineer would know how to fix things like tills. Abi picked up the phone and said ' Ok what a shame, send the builder then' She put the phone down and said ' The engineer was dead so the builders coming'

[Inge]

Mum rang us today and told us her son had chicken pox....nothing unusual in that...

but then she told us that her son got really upset and aggitated as

"he didn't want to turn into a chicken...he wanted to be a duck!!"

 

 

Inge

[Steve]

A new parent was in Helen's nursery yesterday and I came in to do something or other. Helen introduced me, saying "This is my husband, Steve".

 

A little boy, Griffin, said "I didn't know Steve was your husband". I said to Griffin "Yes, and Helen is my wife".

 

A couple of minutes later, Helen walked down the driveway outside to lock the gates so the children could go out into the garden. Griffin saw her through the glass door, turned around to me and said excitedly: "Steve, your wife is escaping!".

[HappyMaz]

The children watched in awe today as a wedding party assembled outside the church, waiting for the bride to arrive. Later, after lunch was finished we realised it was nearly time for the bride and groom to emerge. One little girl set up her chair to stand on ready to see all the detail. She turned to me and said "when's the dress coming back out?".

 

Talk about getting your priorities right!

 

Maz

[Guest MaryEMac]

This afternoon we had our 'newbies' at playgroup. One little girl was in the graphics area and I was helping her to put her name on the picture for her mum. Then she said," my daddy is called Nigel and my mummy is called babe". All I could think of to say was "oh" and then I dived into the kitchen to have a little chuckle. .

 

Mary

[Marion]

We have a little girl in nursery who loves worms so most afternoons I am her "worm hunter". Today 2 of the boys joined our hunt and uncovered an assortment of minibeasts. They sat for a while discussing the merits of each. "I think the cementipede is best 'cos it has all those legs" said one "well I like the woodmouse best" said the other!