Melba Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I know this may seem really pathetic and self pitying but I need to say it someone and this is the safest place I really struggle at the end of each year because there is never any sort of thank to me by the staff or committee. I work myself into the ground 24/7 for the preschool, dealing with every issue, helping everyone, doing everything (or it feels that way!) and they do know that. Not that I really want some huge fuss or money spent (I buy all of them a gift every year though) I just wish someone would say something about how much I do. All the rest of the year I just get on with things really. I do get thank yous from some of the parents and they mean a great deal and I imagine if I left the staff might bother to do something. So at the end of July I am always looking for another job thinking I won't go back in September! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Oh Melba, what an ungrateful lot! Our parents are very generous in their thank yous by way of things they write in cards when the children leave, they also all contribute to a present for the pre-school. But I tell you what has been diminishing for a very long time - whilst we used to get all the aforesaid, we also used to get individual gifts from parents for members of staff from, I would say, 99 per cent of the families, and not just the children leaving - at the end of the year from all children. Strangely, maybe its because its free now with the 15 hours, or the newer generations of parents just don't see the need to thank in the same way any longer. I treat the staff, I treat the children and I have to take the "collective" sort of goodwill atmosphere as my thank you. Your committee really ought to do something for you - they are your employer - perhaps you should "threaten" a change of mood, test the water - to see how much they appreciate what you do. I can understand it is a matter of personal pride to do all the jobs you do, because that is the way you want things done - but if you are harboring feelings of resentment - then nobody benefits in the long run, this summer think of all the things you do - which you could stop doing - without prejudicing your service or standards. Give yourself a good break from the daily routine this summer - be kind to yourself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I know this may seem really pathetic and self pitying but I need to say it someone and this is the safest place I really struggle at the end of each year because there is never any sort of thank to me by the staff or committee. I work myself into the ground 24/7 for the preschool, dealing with every issue, helping everyone, doing everything (or it feels that way!) and they do know that. Not that I really want some huge fuss or money spent (I buy all of them a gift every year though) I just wish someone would say something about how much I do. All the rest of the year I just get on with things really. I do get thank yous from some of the parents and they mean a great deal and I imagine if I left the staff might bother to do something. So at the end of July I am always looking for another job thinking I won't go back in September! I know how you feel! Mine is not so much staff or parents - but the owner doesn't show the slightest of thanks for our hard work over the year. Nothing, zilch .... I buy a small gift for each of the staff - AND because I can't be mean and give out to just the staff - I even end up buying a small gift for owner!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lsp Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I know exactly how you feel Melba. I always say Thankyou and buy flowers for staff. Pre-school (me) arranges books for children leaving. We had some lovely Thankyou from parents. As Panders said the number of gifts is very low, except for our apprentice. Bless her, the children really like her and I feel really old and grumpy old womanish! !!! It's just expected that we will just do our jobs. They all conveniently forget all the extra unpaid hours, all the over and above things. Anyway, all finished. Have a lovely summer break (if you get one) and I would like to thank everyone for their hard work and caring. X 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melba Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 Thank you all! I knew you would all understand how I feel. I'm sure we all just want to feel that we actually help people and if nobody says thank you then you just feel you are wasting your time. Maybe at this time of year the forum should have some sort of back patting service so we all feel like someone cares! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaMum Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Gosh I have never been thanked by staff or committee. I think it is just looked as my 'job' and a sign of the times, sadly. Each year, I get disappointed and I say I am going to do less... which I have been true to my word this year, albeit very hard!! Parents expect so much and manners seem to have flown out the window. 10 years ago, my car was packed with flowers, wine, champagne, chocolates etc., at the end of the year. This year we did do better than a few previous years, but it's not the presents I want, it's a thank you. At Christmas each staff member gave the children individual Christmas cards with a chocolate and Santa gave them a book each at the Christmas party. We received a total of 4 Christmas cards - I was shocked. A homemade card costs nothing and it's worth it's weight in gold. This year, the school leavers didn't get a present, just a certificate and I had parents pay for the party outside of Pre-school hours so staff didn't have to stay behind and clear up all the mess like last year which equates to more paid hours! Neither did they get sport's day certificates this year, which would have been done in my free time again. The children received medals which the staff agreed was enough. Sad isn't it? It's my fault though, I have always gone the extra mile to make it lovely for the children and have made keepsakes for parents, but it has now become expected, which is why I am changing things around a bit. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melba Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 I also dislike the new thing of just giving a gift to a key person because, as a preschool and an out of school club, there are some staff who don't work as key people but contribute as much to the day to day running of the place and they would get nothing if I didn't buy them something. Maybe next year I will only buy them a gift. One of the few people who did say something nice to me just works in the kitchen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Ladies........................a thank you would be nice and it's the least we deserve...................BUT have a listen to yourselves!I don't do this for presents ( and bear in mind, some parents don't have two pennies to rub together.........do you want them to feel pressurised into giving gifts?? And to whom?? every member of staff??........) No, I want to count my achievements..................so, this year i managed to get E to control her temper tantrums. Mum tells me her manners have improved immeasurably.I helped to get M into the school after County said no. I helped get a small job for her mum. I have managed to get the school to do a total u turn on their admissions policy for children in nappies. I had a mum tell me that her son told her he needs more sun protection so vest tops aren't enough on very hot days.And hugs...........BIG hugs from the child who has been a pain in the backside for much of the year ( and a whispered 'I love you')................then the child who I'd been worried about suddenly starts talking and smiling.Those things are my 'thank you' so.........keep your chocolates. keep the prosecco, the wines, flowers etc. The children are why we do it...............why I do it. If it pains you to give other staff members a gift, then the answer is glaringly simple. DON'T give them a gift. If 'THANK YOU' is really enough, then say it. Buy a game for the children instead? Look back on a job done well and give yourself a pat on the back. Be proud that you are the constant, the person who might make the difference in a child's.........or a family's life. But please.................please,please, please don't moan about not getting gifts. It's not why we're here, is it?? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Ladies........................a thank you would be nice and it's the least we deserve...................BUT have a listen to yourselves!I don't do this for presents ( and bear in mind, some parents don't have two pennies to rub together.........do you want them to feel pressurised into giving gifts?? And to whom?? every member of staff??........) No, I want to count my achievements..................so, this year i managed to get E to control her temper tantrums. Mum tells me her manners have improved immeasurably.I helped to get M into the school after County said no. I helped get a small job for her mum. I have managed to get the school to do a total u turn on their admissions policy for children in nappies. I had a mum tell me that her son told her he needs more sun protection so vest tops aren't enough on very hot days.And hugs...........BIG hugs from the child who has been a pain in the backside for much of the year ( and a whispered 'I love you')................then the child who I'd been worried about suddenly starts talking and smiling.Those things are my 'thank you' so.........keep your chocolates. keep the prosecco, the wines, flowers etc. The children are why we do it...............why I do it. If it pains you to give other staff members a gift, then the answer is glaringly simple. DON'T give them a gift. If 'THANK YOU' is really enough, then say it. Buy a game for the children instead? Look back on a job done well and give yourself a pat on the back. Be proud that you are the constant, the person who might make the difference in a child's.........or a family's life. But please.................please,please, please don't moan about not getting gifts. It's not why we're here, is it?? I totally agree - but.... I bet as an owner you say thank-you to your staff. :1b 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 To be fair Narnia, I don't believe anyone is moaning about not receiving gifts, in essence it is about showing a level appreciation - I am as happy with a verbal thank you or a hug as I could ever be with something more tangible. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melba Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 I certainly am not upset about physical things, just the total lack of any feeling that any of them appreciated all the things I did for them all year. I do not feel that the parents owe me anything because I did do everything for the children. But the staff saw what it cost me, they know I hardly sleep at all, they know I work every day even when not at work and not being paid, they know that I cover for all their personal problems, they know the level of problems this job causes my family...and still they don't even say thank you. Is it really selfish to be upset about that? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I always say 'thank you' to my staff and i make sure parents know,because I tell them loud and clear, when staff have gone the extra mile for their children. I didn't say..................read my post....................nor did I infer, that anyone was selfish. But there were some comments in some posts that bothered me. I didn't set out to upset anyone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaMum Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) Ladies........................a thank you would be nice and it's the least we deserve...................BUT have a listen to yourselves!I don't do this for presents ( and bear in mind, some parents don't have two pennies to rub together.........do you want them to feel pressurised into giving gifts?? And to whom?? every member of staff??........) No, I want to count my achievements..................so, this year i managed to get E to control her temper tantrums. Mum tells me her manners have improved immeasurably.I helped to get M into the school after County said no. I helped get a small job for her mum. I have managed to get the school to do a total u turn on their admissions policy for children in nappies. I had a mum tell me that her son told her he needs more sun protection so vest tops aren't enough on very hot days.And hugs...........BIG hugs from the child who has been a pain in the backside for much of the year ( and a whispered 'I love you')................then the child who I'd been worried about suddenly starts talking and smiling.Those things are my 'thank you' so.........keep your chocolates. keep the prosecco, the wines, flowers etc. The children are why we do it...............why I do it. If it pains you to give other staff members a gift, then the answer is glaringly simple. DON'T give them a gift. If 'THANK YOU' is really enough, then say it. Buy a game for the children instead? Look back on a job done well and give yourself a pat on the back. Be proud that you are the constant, the person who might make the difference in a child's.........or a family's life. But please.................please,please, please don't moan about not getting gifts. It's not why we're here, is it?? Don't think any of us were moaning about not receiving gifts... I think many of us are feeling undervalued in many aspects! Edited July 22, 2016 by MegaMum 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lsp Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) I think what we were trying to say is a thankyou would be much appreciated. We definitely do not expect parents to spend their money on gifts. It's the end of another long year. Edited July 22, 2016 by lsp 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tish501 Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 I certainly am not upset about physical things, just the total lack of any feeling that any of them appreciated all the things I did for them all year. I do not feel that the parents owe me anything because I did do everything for the children. But the staff saw what it cost me, they know I hardly sleep at all, they know I work every day even when not at work and not being paid, they know that I cover for all their personal problems, they know the level of problems this job causes my family...and still they don't even say thank you. Is it really selfish to be upset about that? Just how I feel.....not sure why the sea-change...is it good manners disappearing....I now do not go to my nursery to work unless staff off,as it makes me so angry ..if I have told my 2 younger staff to say please and thank you to the children once I have said it a hundred times....and the dirty look I get ,,,no respect for me anymore....yet,always say thank you to all of them individually every day when they leave,bonuses,choc,christmas party/dinner....this may nown all stop since when I took 2 steps back....nothing was done since March,no Queens 90th,No sports day,No Euro 16,no carnival float, (small village...we will be missed :So...2 choices,go back to work,get stressed again... or SELL.....not my first choice but health comes first...offer from one agent means i could go round the world 10 times......suh an obscene amount...but more hassle ahead in Early Years...what to do... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Just how I feel.....not sure why the sea-change...is it good manners disappearing....I now do not go to my nursery to work unless staff off,as it makes me so angry ..if I have told my 2 younger staff to say please and thank you to the children once I have said it a hundred times....and the dirty look I get ,,,no respect for me anymore....yet,always say thank you to all of them individually every day when they leave,bonuses,choc,christmas party/dinner....this may nown all stop since when I took 2 steps back....nothing was done since March,no Queens 90th,No sports day,No Euro 16,no carnival float, (small village...we will be missed :So...2 choices,go back to work,get stressed again... or SELL.....not my first choice but health comes first...offer from one agent means i could go round the world 10 times......suh an obscene amount...but more hassle ahead in Early Years...what to do... Tish - I think you have answered your own question there... reading it shows that you are torn but feel it is time to go... A thank you goes a long way an costs nothing... no longer in a setting but I do help in a toy library and often thank the children when they return the toys.. makes parents smile..I always thank any helpers at end of the day as does the person who runs it , we are all volunteers and do it to keep it open In the setting I never expected anything but a quick thank you from anyone always made me feel I was appreciated.. Committees come and go - each one was so different some gave a thank you at meetings and end of the day.. others never really thought about it and as they employ you wonder how many employers regularly thank their staff.. That said I always thanked the staff on leaving for their input that day. No presents for staff from me or committee.. we had a meal out together or girls night in - if someone could not get a babysitter we went to their house and had a takeaway delivered.. worked well for us and everyone looked forward to it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 I know this may seem really pathetic and self pitying but I need to say it someone and this is the safest place I really struggle at the end of each year because there is never any sort of thank to me by the staff or committee. I work myself into the ground 24/7 for the preschool, dealing with every issue, helping everyone, doing everything (or it feels that way!) and they do know that. Not that I really want some huge fuss or money spent (I buy all of them a gift every year though) I just wish someone would say something about how much I do. All the rest of the year I just get on with things really. I do get thank yous from some of the parents and they mean a great deal and I imagine if I left the staff might bother to do something. So at the end of July I am always looking for another job thinking I won't go back in September! So sorry that you are feeling so 'under valued' - I have no experience of committee run settings but would hope that the Committee would at least thank you for your hard work Hope you have a really good summer - don't work too hard and return feeling refreshed and ready to face the new challenges and opportunities that the next academic might bring x 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondie Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 had this happen with us -the chair had a child in school and one with us - she bought the teacher and TAs flowers, chocolates, card and something else which was wrapped -for us not even a thank you and we have worked really hard with her child who is autistic. This would have been much appreciated by the staff but the worse bit was she came into the setting with a set of presents saying "oh dear, dont know what to do with this -i thought i needed 4 lots of pressies but only needed 3! like everyone else on here a " thankyou for all the hard work you have done with ..... ....this year -he has come so far with all your support and help" would have meant more than any pressie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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