Jas11 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Help... Im getting to the end of my tether!!! I have a child who is 3 years old and we have been 'toilet training' for 5 months now. I have him 3 days a week. Every single day he wets or soils himself. Mum brings 1 set of clean clothes a day so Im ok for clothing him but sometimes he wets/soils himself more than once an then Im struggling on the school run. My house smells like a public toilet I've even bought pet odour remover but this doesnt help when he has sat on the sofa and wee'd. it just soaks all the way through the sofa. I remind him every half hour or so that he hasn't got a nappy on and ask him if he wants the toilet. He sat at the dinner table and wee'd the other day and smiled at me and said 'wee'. Drip drip drip off the kitchen chair was what i could hear. Im starting to get a little cross with him and I know thats not the way to go. When mum picks up shes OK about his wet clothes but I get the distinct feeling that 'its my fault' because hes 'ever so good at home'. My family are commenting on the smell and also because they cant sit on the sofa (one part of it) because its wet after being cleaned (again). ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE (not saying toilet training is funny but you know what I mean) HELP!!! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondie Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 i wonder whether he really is that good at home - ask mum how she deals with his toileting -what she does/ uses. perhaps she feels pressured into toilet training because all her friends have / others saying oh hes three he should be toilet trained by now so she feels like she is failing where he isnt? would she mind him having pull ups on for a while? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GAB Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 I too would question whether he is as good at home. I had a similar situation last year and got frustrated with cleaning carpets, furniture etc. In the end I asked the parent to supply me with pull ups and we agreed that after the first accident however minor he would wear the pull ups for the rest of the day and start afresh the next day. I also introduced a star chart where he was rewarded with a star every time he used the toilet or potty, and sometimes even if he tried. This went well for the first few weeks but then he began to get lazy and didn't bother even trying so we are back to nappies & pull ups. This child will be 3 in June this year, so a bit younger than yours. I would suggest give him a break and go back to the nappies/pull ups until the better weather and maybe ask the parents to try again when they have time off work. You could then reassure them that you don't see 6yr olds in nappies so his time will come when he is ready. I shall be doing the same in the school summer holidays! Good luck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jas11 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 Thanks GAB and Blondie, isnt it it nice to know we're not alone! Just somewhere to 'vent' make its so much easier. I will ask Mum what happens at home and take the advice of 'back into a nappy/pull up'. THANK YOU :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 I would ask him to go to the toilet, rather than asking if he needs a wee. I have had several children now who when asked will say they don't need to go.........only to then pee a fountain if I say I would like them to try. They may have trouble understanding what that 'full' feeling is? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Completely agree with narnia - "it's time to go now" can be much more effective than "do you need" :1b Other than that - does he prefer a potty - could you go and buy one especially for him - possibly with him - let him choose it and take ownership.......or a special seat for the big toilet...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verona Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 I agree with GAB, suggest putting him back into pull up for a while. it doesn't sound as though he is ready. I also agree, I have used the same quote to parents who are worried that their child is behind in toilet training - you don't see 6 year olds in nappies, don't forget all children are different and just because their friends child was toilet trained at 2, doesn't mean that their child is going to be the same. At Pre-school we have a little girl who is just 3 and has just progressed to wearing knickers. She is OK with having a wee, she still needs reminding but goes by herself sometimes and other times she asks for a member of staff to go with her. Since she has started attending two afternoons a week, (has been 3 morning - no problems) she has soiled her knickers every time. I have spoken to mum and she says that weeing is OK at home but she soils in her knickers at home as well. Any suggestions - apart from mum has said that she has tried asking her to tell her when she wants to go and she will put a pull-up on but the child won't do that! I am seeing mum again tomorrow, so any suggestions that I can offer to mum as well as follow ourselves would be gratefully received. Thanks V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Since she has started attending two afternoons a week, (has been 3 morning - no problems) she has soiled her knickers every time. I have spoken to mum and she says that weeing is OK at home but she soils in her knickers at home as well. This completely normal - often happens that children can't quite bring themselves to 'poo on the loo' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynned55 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 I was told many years ago that quite often it can be scary for small children when the first start doing a 'poo on the loo' as it can feel like they are 'losing part of themselves' (usually boys as it is such a different sensation for them) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Toilet training has always been difficult but both my boys were dry day and night at 13 months. They wore terry nappies and I am sure this made a difference. I have worked in nurseries for over 40 years and toilet training is getting later and later. Not scientifically proven but I do think that the 'new' nappies and pull ups that keep a child dry do not help. Most child need to feel the difference between wet and dry as well as making the connection that when they wet it feels uncomfortable. This no longer happens as the design of the nappies/pullups is to make a child feel comfortable and dry all the time. At the nursery where I am now working we have found that putting the children in to pants seems to get them toilet aware far more quickly. We also take them to the toilet every 15 minutes initially. Lots of praise and reward charts. Parents were sceptical at first but it seems to be working in 99% of cases. The children in pull ups are taking longer and I think this is because the feeling is no different to a nappy. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 We had a small boy who used to soil in the afternoon, so I got him timed. I used to put him on the toilet half an hour after he had eaten and give him a book to look at. Worked every time, sit him on and take his mind off it. After a while he got used to going by himself, and it was great. It didn't work at home as mum used to forget to 'pot him' after lunch, but once he was confidently aware that he needed to go, he was like clockwork! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jas11 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Thanks again everyone :rolleyes: He already has a potty here and a toilet seat and step. He doesnt want to use the potty anymore, he likes using the toilet when he remembers! He seems to go to the toilet more times than enough and then even after going he still wee's/poo's himself some 10/15 mins afterwards. Yes, Im with him when he goes to the toilet and he does wee and sometimes even poo on the toilet, but then the 'accident' happens. I called him yesterday as he had gone into the playroom when we were all in the lounge and he shouted back 'leave me alone, Im not talking to you'. One of my other mindees said he had taken off his trousers, socks and pants. That only meant one thing to me, he was wet. I asked him why he hadnt used the toilet and he just told me to go away!!! Oh the joys of children (I've been a childminder for 8 years so not a newbie!!!) My poor carpet LOL :rolleyes: x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 ERIC (Education and Resources for Improving Childhood Continence) have some useful free downloadable leaflets (link below) and a helpline helpline@eric.org.uk and phone advice service 0845 370 8008 http://www.eric.org.uk/InformationZone/Leafletsandresources Have you tried having a bag of toys that he gets to play with when he's on the toilet, putting food colouring in the cistern and my personal favourite (for boys!) target stickers: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Toilet-Thingies-Stickers-Transparent-Material/dp/B00V3KELNS/ref=sr_1_5/276-6405910-7912406?ie=UTF8&qid=1430390663&sr=8-5&keywords=toilet+stickers+target Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jas11 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Target stickers.... what a great idea!!! Ill try that... THANK YOU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Ping pong ball in the toilet for them to aim at 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Ping pong ball in the toilet for them to aim at I used that at home when my boys were small - improved their aim no end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 If you put a toilet tablet that dissolves in cistern when they wee it changes the colour of the water! I do wonder if the little one actually is aware of when he wants to wee; especially when he is weeing so frequently after having been to the loo!! It doesn't matter what you do if he hasn't yet got the sensation of needing to go!! sometimes it's just too soon!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berryred Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 The only time I've had an issue like this, the child had constipation :-( was an awful time which I never saw the end result as they moved away. 3 years later, I now see them again (I live on RAF camp) he got lots of allergies ect, so was an underlaying cause. I take them to the toilet rather than ask, every 20-30 minutes if need be. How old is he? I know you said 3 but 36 months 3 or top end, that could make a huge difference! I would again approach mum on how he is at home. off record, my own son got bribed with chocolate to go for a poo on the loo haha! He was dry at 22 months, but was 42 months before he would just go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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