Rea Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 We had a meeting today. Staff and committee talked about changing from committee run to something else. PLA said if I speak to Law Call, they'll be able to help, which is fine, I can do that. But some people make every decision so bl**dy difficult its all I can do to stop myself resigning right here and now. One staff member text me afterwards describing the others as "a nest of vipers, if it wasnt their decision they didnt like it". She's right, I feel so damn deflated. I've never done this for praise or recognition of any kind, I just love the playgroup and dont want it to close just because there isnt a committee, but I also dont need people complaining about the time of the meeting, criticising planning ideas for the future (without an alternative), throwing obstacles in front of everything I suggest, querying the words I use (committee is scary) I actually feel like crying Every damn thing was thrown out or queried to within an inch of its life. I almost went our facebook page to resign in public. I'm going to Edinburgh on the train tomorrow, back on Sunday and boy am I going to drink some gin!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Rea - have you been very polite and not told anyone how this makes you feel when they question everything? If you can bare it I think they should know - at the next meeting have your notes written down and tell them all what's what. What you are fed up with considering you are only doing the best you can etc., and their negativity is not what is called for - if your group is to remain open you must all work together and if there is one of them which cant or wont then they must leave. BTW not too much tonic in the gin. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Really feel for you Rea as i said in our 'other' chat earlier - it is not good enough.....the group are so lucky to have you - they need to pull together if they want the setting to remain open...... I do think Panders has made a very good point and notes written in advance of the next meeting sounds like a great idea. But for now put it behind you - make no further contact - enjoy Edinburgh and all it has to offer Gin is great medicine 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 I am always too polite Panders which is where this forum has been such a god send over the years. I'll write the minutes up and send them out with a little memo from me, thanks :1b I'll follow your suggestion on the tonic too 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyfs1966 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 nooooooo, please please don't go..... Perhaps you need to politely remind all committee members that they are jointly and severally responsible for the preschool, and remind them of their duties as defined by the charities commission? Its "work together" or bust....what do they want? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 If it was the committee being negative it'd be one thing, but its the staff. Manager secretly tells me deputy is bossing too much and taking over, ex manager isnt supporting as she could so I offer ideas that will help the manager set her ideas down and make changes by the deputy more difficult, I wanted her to be able to put her own stamp on things, start afresh, lay the law down, but instead all 3 are being negative about everything. I think its bust! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Oh honey I feel your pain. I was once that chairperson both at the pre-school that I have worked at now for over twenty years and the local schools PTA for my sins. You do or your damned. Nobody wants to put the effort in like you so freely do, but their quick to block or make negative comments at every turn. Go and enjoy your time in that wonderful Scottish city, forget all about pre-school whilst your there, and start afresh next week. I also think Panders has a good point, letting them all know how you feel, and the working together is key for the benefit of everybody. Sending a hug. Fx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Am I right... the staff are the negative ones against the current manager .. unfortunately this is down to the manager to be more assertive... maybe she needs to take charge a bit more and say what is going to happen rather than consult.. the others have worked together under same system for a while then they will find it easy to back each other up and find 'why nots' - Manager needs to step up a bit I am sorry to say nothing other than that will really help.. she needs to tackle things as they arise.. and be in a position of being able to also include committee back up to say if they really don't like the changes they can always move on.. As for any changes in the way it is run.. that is a committee decision.. does not really need their backing..but lay it on the line.. being that you say it will close at the end of this year as you will be illegally operating.. gather all the info.. get committee to sort out what they want and then get staff on board . Some people though can be nothing but negative.. ( my SIL is like this - sends me batty, what ever it is she can find a reason it will not work or not to do it because of xyz - never anything positive, brings us down sometimes- when we are the kind to find a way around anything to make it work and not give in for trying!) Nothing you can do about it . as you say the alternative is to leave and / or close .. Have a good break, and tackle it again with a fresh look next week.. Have fun.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thumperrabbit Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Am I right... the staff are the negative ones against the current manager .. unfortunately this is down to the manager to be more assertive... maybe she needs to take charge a bit more and say what is going to happen rather than consult.. the others have worked together under same system for a while then they will find it easy to back each other up and find 'why nots' - Manager needs to step up a bit I am sorry to say nothing other than that will really help.. she needs to tackle things as they arise.. and be in a position of being able to also include committee back up to say if they really don't like the changes they can always move on.. Panders is so right :1b The manager needs to do it - A couple of years ago I was posting on here about how unsupportive some of the team were of me, I'd gone from 'normal staff' to 'manager' and this didn't go down with 2 members of staff even though everyone had been offered the chance to apply for the job as recruitment failed 3 times. I wasn't (and still aren't really) a leader/manager I just don't understand why grown ups can't see a job that needs doing and work together to complete it. Anyway there was 1 particular ring leader that made my life hell, nearly made me ill but because I didn't like to rock the boat I didn't stand up for myself and so pre-school couldn't move forward. Until one day after having a chat with my Chair & Sec about it and who both told me to stand up for myself and they would back whatever I said. So I did (felt physically sick) but my goodness it shut them up and for a few weeks the atmosphere was awful but I stood my ground and the main troublemaker realised she wasn't going to win ... it took about 6 months of awful atmosphere BUT me being the BOSS (for once!) solved it and she left and now as a team we are strong. After all of that, if you stand united with the Manager (if she is right!) and maybe the others will see they can't rule the roost! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Thumper thats almost our setting to a tee. I've written my resignation and shown the manager, she understands and knows I'm still there for her, I'm going to her house during the holidays to help her draw up a long term plan to focus the staff on. It really is easier to work exclusively with the children!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
himum Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I am a manager and had a cr*p day, I don't get support I need, I feel alone and like the enemy. I am trying really hard to adapt the way I approach the team to support their needs and get us all pulling in the same direction so we get a good when ofsted come, very soon. However, one member of our team is the daughter of the other manager. There is no getting around that she makes me frustrated as she does not pull her weight but mum can't see it. Today, I just want to look for another job. Basically, can anyone recommend any good sites to look at that advertise jobs for somebody with EYTS. I am really fed up with the situation and so frustrated I wanted to cry but snapped at family instead. I cannot keep making allowances for work not being done because then it is more for me to do. I come home most nights working til 9 on the computer then stop to watch 1 hour of tele before going in to open up at 7. I am chasing my tail. I cannot see the other manager ever really listening to me when it is her family who I struggle with. She will say, many reasons why this person needs help and gets others to say Ahhh I want to say ARGH!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 Its all so complicated isnt it? I think we've all worked with that one person. Myabe they should open their own setting? 'I'm not a team player.com'! I've decided with the help of our manager that my note showed me to be just a tad too pi**ed off and have amended it :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thumperrabbit Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Its all so complicated isnt it? I think we've all worked with that one person. Myabe they should open their own setting? 'I'm not a team player.com'! I've decided with the help of our manager that my note showed me to be just a tad too pi**ed off and have amended it :rolleyes: It's very complicated and can cause real stress and anxiety but your Manager will need you by her side so that the staff see it's a 'united front' and this is how it is going to be - like it and get on with it or leave. When do some leadership training a few years ago we were all current managers and were talking through problems that were affecting us at that time. Everyone who came from a committee run pre-school had problems with staff - day nurseries didn't! Pre-school staff were all sympathetic and couldn't see a way out - when the day nursery managers gave their opinions on how they would deal with the situation the common reply was 'get rid, they aren't doing their job'! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Have to agree with Thumper.. manager needs the full committee backing for it to work, only way forward is a united front.. and staff need to know this.. think this is where the committee run ones have an issue, usually with no one person being able to stand up and make the decision, or undermining manager .. sometimes being too understanding does not help at all... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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