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"Kind hands"


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A parent just asked if we use the term 'kind hands', as she has heard her child use it at home. She wrote that she has "some queries about it". I replied that I would be very interested in hearing which they are. Does anyone see anything that could cause any concern?

 

 

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Not my favourite phrase i'm afraid! A child has to understand what we mean by 'kind' in all of it's forms in order to understand this command.....it's like saying be nice...can mean many things to many people! I would rather be honest and say hitting's not allowed etc

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Hopefully she wants to know in what context it is made purely out of curiosity or. maybe something happened at home and her child used the phrase, surely there can be no negative meaning she could attach to such a phrase, unless she is concerned that her child has not had kind hands at school and she hasn't been informed

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That, Panders, didn't cross my mind! That could be the reason.

After reading Finleysmaid's reply I thought that a child who hit another may not have intended to be 'unkind'. In my experience, a child who hits is or pushes is either frustrated, and needs help, or is trying to make friends, and needs help.

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I have to say that we use it here and reinforce the short 'kind hands' with circle times on what that means and what it looks like! We often use soft toys (big frog and small frog are favourites) to tell a story or play out a scenario to make the 'teaching' concrete, but not personal to the child! They are often quick to spot what is not happening as it ought!!! It then makes it easier to remind them what the frogs got right/wrong in order to model acceptable bahaviour. On oocasions I have had to explain all this to parents as Nursery's positive attempt to encourage the behaviour we want without using the negative 'don't' messages.

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guess i must be one of those parents! or perhaps because i have worked with children with asd difficulties who do not often understand "abstract" information like this. I really don't understand why you would use the term kind hands when you could be more specific and direct :huh:

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We use kind hands and have done for ages the impact of it through the setting is evident, it does need teaching, embedding it can not just be used as a term on it's own without the constant ground work all staff also have visual card chains and it's on there too as it's feeds through from the use of it with our ASD children. Our children also use it in play with others. x

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We use kind hands and have done for ages the impact of it through the setting is evident, it does need teaching, embedding it can not just be used as a term on it's own without the constant ground work all staff also have visual card chains and it's on there too as it's feeds through from the use of it with our ASD children. Our children also use it in play with others. x

What symbol do you use for kind?

The problem is 'Kind' is a high level linguistic concept and visually is difficult to represent. A high percentage of my children with SEND and my EAL chlldren are working at a level one. Kind needs a higher level understanding and the ability to empathise

Why did you decide to use this phraseology instead of something more obvious.....like no pushing or hitting not allowed?

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What symbol do you use for kind?

The problem is 'Kind' is a high level linguistic concept and visually is difficult to represent. A high percentage of my children with SEND and my EAL chlldren are working at a level one. Kind needs a higher level understanding and the ability to empathise

Why did you decide to use this phraseology instead of something more obvious.....like no pushing or hitting not allowed?

We use red/green flash cards which we have on neck chains, in red it's 'no hitting' with no symbol through hands picture then we flip the card which uses green and just picture of hands so we reinforce the expectation. No hitting, kind hands. This is same for kicking etc, some ASD children do not react well to no ....... so todapending on child we may not say the no but but just say what expectations are so 'kind hands'.

This is a technique from autism training and also you will see the red/green cards in some additional needs catalogues.

It has to be used throughout and effectively though to work, our children with no or little language respond well too so it supports a lot of children throughout the setting, just wish I had a nicer neck chain it's boring grey lol I want fun x

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  • 5 months later...

Interesting discussion here. We use kind hands too or"hands are not for hitting" as an alternative to the negative commands of "don't hit".

 

Slightly off topic but When a child is upset, crying or angry do you use the phrase "use your words"? How effective is that?

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I don't use the 'words' bit in that essence, what we do is if I child screams loudly at another child for something, we support by saying along lines of 'billy doesn't know what you want, you need to tell him, you could say billy I was playing with that' pauses etc in between to see if child can help themselves regulate their emotions and then speak about it. This is if they are ready for this language, quite often we give hugs to help the child calm and become more relaxed so able to then to go forth, we don't want children to feel emotions of various states are not acceptable as all emotions are we just try to acknowledge the state they are currently in and support a way to overcome it helping them to become resilient.

So Kind of yes but no lol x

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