Can't do attitude!

[Melba]

Talk about encouraging children to have a "can do" attitude, I think it is their parents who need teaching.

I am getting a bit frazzled by the comments.

Can't put them to bed before 10pm.

Can't get them to eat.

Can't get them to get up! (Never heard that one about toddlers before!)

Can't get them to dress properly.

Strangely most of this doesn't seem to cause us any trouble at all. Maybe I should go round and sort out bedtime as well! Anyone up for starting a new business, We'llputthemtobed.com?!

[Cait]

How about - we'llgetthemtounderstandwhat'no'means.com!

[Guest]

I hate it when the parents say

I couldn't get them into the car, into what I wanted them to wear, to sit at the table etc etc etc.........

 

These children are small

They are THREE years old.

 

If parents can't get the children to do what they want them to now, at this tender age, what lies in their future??!!

 

Good grief!

Edited November 6, 2013 by Scarlettangel

[Guest]

how about

we'llcomeandtoilettrainthem/getthemtoeatfruitandmilk/learntoshare/learnthatadultsareforspeakingtoandtohelpyouratherthanjustsiton

facebookoripadallday.com

omg

[Rea]

I'll put my hand up...i couldn't get youngest to eat fruit or veg. He's nearly 21 and still won't mostly.

 

I couldn't get oldest into pushchair without using my knee! I won

 

But I agree though, I think its worse these days. Someone said to me 'whether you say you can or you can't, you'll be right!'

[finleysmaid]

agree that i am having to have the "who's the adult ?" converstion much more often!

[SueJ]

agree that i am having to have the "who's the adult ?" converstion much more often!

We've been having these conversations more and more frequently - generally each year as a staff team we all seem to comment how much more this is happening each year - we do question whether it's us but quite often come to the conclusion that parents now are so disempowered that bar giving birth to them we may as well run the "We bring them up.co.uk" company. Some of our parents almost use us as a "badge of honour" saying I'm sending him/her to you as I can't do anything with him/her - Arrg.

I'm not quite sure what miracles they feel we can perform when we see the children for 15 hours per week :huh:

[Melba]

Rea, we all struggled with things with our children, still do!

But I am thinking of the parents who don't struggle, just give up.

[Rea]

I don't think they give up, I think they just never start! Routines and boundaries are only something lots of think about when they finally realise how their own lives ate being impacted.

My friend said 'I had children to enhance my life, not rule it, bedtime is set, meals are eaten'

[Guest Spiral]

Its a bit 'brash', but the following article does ring true;

 

http://www.parentingideas.co.uk/Blog/August-2013/Set-boundaries-early,-not-late

 

Boundaries are required by children, they lose their personality if ythey don't have them and they seem to become named for behaviour, not for who they are.

My son needed a knee for the pushchair (a gentle one), but he needed to be in the chair to be safe as he frequently tried to run away.

He also had to understand that when he threw his supper on the floor it was gone, but he responded so well to me patting him on the back for every little achievement and reinforcing his better choices too.

 

He's a really lovely boy now (aged 13) and when he does have a mood I really know it, but what would those teenage tantrums be like if he hadn't had the boundaries and reinforcement????????

 

eeek,

spiral ;-)

[sunnyday]

I have to add my thoughts but I will struggle not to become too Miss Rantypants.......

Parenting takes time + effort + patience + determination........

This governments 'determination' to put children into full day care almost as soon as they are born and to get mums (or dads if they're main carer) straight back into work can only add to this 'problem'......this will 'back-fire bigtime' I'm sure of it - it might be good for the economy - but it's not good for family stability.....

Parents who see their children from 6pm and need to get meals cooked, house cleaned and all those other boring things are just too damn 'pushed' to stand firm and/or give time to their children........

So children picked up from Nursery or After School Club or wherever at 6pm - what is it - bed by 8pm - and then next day they start all over again - perhaps up at 7am - breakfast (if there's time ) and then rush them off to Nursery, Breakfast club or wherever......

Seems to me they (parents) are probably feeling as guilty as h*ll, certainly don't want and/or can't deal with any sort of 'kick-off'......

I understand that some parents actually 'have to' work - but I can also see that devoting at least the first five years of your child's life to them should be seen (as it once was) as the 'norm' and 'desirable'.......perhaps don't buy such an expensive car, house, holiday?

So there we are - my opinion on parenting today! :rolleyes:

[Beau]

Hi,

 

I've moved this topic into the lounge area. Whilst sometimes we may all feel we need to have a moan about parents please be aware that all other areas of the forum are open to anyone to read. I'm sure you'd agree that it doesn't appear very professional to air grievances so publicly :1b

[sunnyday]

Hi,

 

I've moved this topic into the lounge area. Whilst sometimes we may all feel we need to have a moan about parents please be aware that all other areas of the forum are open to anyone to read. I'm sure you'd agree that it doesn't appear very professional to air grievances so publicly :1b

Absolutely Beau - and I'm 'guilty' for not looking to see which area we were in before posting :blink:

[Guest]

Miss Rantypants goods points well made,

 

I just want to add though that also these parenting skills have also slid because we have little or no role models these days, HV for advice are not seen by most parents when advice re potty training, routines, weaning etc are needed.

 

Children are cared for by a variety of carers all with different ideas,

 

 

And a government that thinks that school is the best place !