Interesting smacking responses.

[HoneyPancakes]

I've been surprised by the responses I received yesterday from a facebook 'share' I made. This is what I shared:-

 

'Pinched from Marc Armitage via Marc Armitage at Skitzy PlayNEWS: JUSTICE MINISTER DEFENDS SMACKING CHILDREN

 

“The Conservative minister, who has two grown-up children [said] smacking young children sometimes "sends a message".”

 

Well he’s right there. Form a queue everyone.'

 

Now, I thought that was quite a light-hearted, humorous way of getting a serious point across. I don't usually share his posts, just like them because I am interested in what he has to say. These are the responses I got:-

 

'I think that a smack on the bum for really bad behaviour sometimes is needed, if only as a threat. My children are well behaved on the whole, but obviously kids are kids and can sometimes test my patience! I also believe in rewarding good behaviour.... Some call it a bribe... I call it a reward!

If some people gave their kids a smack now and again (controlled and with reason) maybe we wouldnt need asbo's, curfews and panic alarms. We may instead have respect for others.

I dont support smacking for little naughties..... Naughty step works a treat! In fact most of Jo Frosts techniques work (super nanny). Anybody other adult smacks my child however, then I will smack them!!'

 

and

 

I agree with (above)....the main time I've used smacking was across the fingers when they were doing something dangerous at a very young age...fingers and power points, heaters ,spiders etc are not good combinations and as young toddlers don't have a very big vocabulary it seems to work effectively. My biggest discipline method is saying no if I mean it...and not wavering despite the nagging. If I'm unsure and could change my mind I say "I'll think about it". How to doom yourself for ever in your behaviour management...say no and give in later because you can't stand the whining, crying etc.

 

Not knowing how to respond, I just said, 'interesting', and now can't stop thinking about it. One of these people is a teacher, the other is the chair of my children's school's PTA (I really didn't expect them to have different views, but was surprised at just how forthright they were in putting them forward.

 

I feel like I should put up an argument together with supporting research etc, but pretty sure it would just end in a dog fight. What might you do?

 

Honey

[Upsy Daisy]

Please tell me that the teacher isn't the Supernanny fan!

 

I don't think you'll gain anything by entering into a debate with them but that doesn't mean you couldn't state your view. If it turns into a bunfight you can always delete the whole thing.

[Guest]

It might get messy...followed a thread once on a well known parents forum and you would be surprised how many parents do it because they think it works. I mean there is a large proprtion out there! Do you think parents feel smacking has just had a bad press and think its all propaganda and governemnt trying to control families........? hmmmm.

[finleysmaid]

i think my response to this would be somthing like ...interesting response, of course as a setting we can never condone physical punishment and we take every effort to ensure parent are equipped with the tools to effectively manage their children's behaviour. If you would like more help or advice on this can i suggest that you contact ....(ppp/hv/cc's etc whatever you have in your area!!)

[Guest]

Im not afraid of saying I have smacked my own children as a very last resort. As these instances are very few and far between they have know that they have gone too far.

 

Children have too many rights these days which have resulted in the country being in the mess it is. When I was a child, I was scared of being sent to the headmaster so behaved. children dont care anymore as 'what can the head do?'. There is no respect for Police, adults, teachers or anyone for that matter.

 

Dont get me wrong, Im dont believe in smacking children all the time but feel that as a last resort is acceptable. Too many parents are too soft with their children. Saying 'dont do that again' in a whiney voice obviously doesnt work!

[Rea]

I have to agree with joannelouise, I've smacked mine when 'no' or 'stop' just didn't work, funnily enough the naughty one was rarely smacked but smacking his toy rabbit worked a treat. These days I'm not sure if I would smack, I rather like to think not.

One story about youths attacking an adult and we all stopped challenging their behaviour. We backed off and allowed them to disrespect us, I don't think it was just being soft on them, it was the whole community turning away from them. I used to be scared of any adult if I knew I was doing something wrong, these days no-one worries.

Its a subject I wouldn't want to debate without a lot of thought. People have very definite thoughts on it, which while not always right, are strong. Its only really one generation since smacking began to be frowned upon and like smoking or drink driving, its not something that will stop overnight.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Rea

[HoneyPancakes]

Thanks All for such thoughtful responses. Just goes to show that there can be a range of views even amongst the great and the good.

 

UpsyDaisyThe teacher was not the Super Nanny follower (although I have learned a thing or two from Ms Frost).

 

I think it's more than one generation since smacking was seen as poor form - I'm heading for fifty and it was a real no-no in our family (although the strap was brought out as a prop when we almost burned our shop down playing with fire). I remember the head teacher's name being mud in our house because he asked school council (governors) for permission to use corporal punishment on an eight year old who's mother and sister had just been killed in the car accident that he sustained head injuries in and who's family was living in poverty with their alcoholic father who had been the drunken driver. (sorry, that wasn't entirely relevant but I can't get that off my chest anywhere else).

 

This was a purely personal facebook page - I have a place to share policies and help for parents where I might just share that site thanks Finleysmaid.

 

Pretty sure that'll be the end of it. If it isn't I'll delete it.

 

Cheers,

 

Honey

[Rea]

More than a generation? Hubby's 50 this year and I know he had the cane more than once at our secondary school. Girls were given the slipper, My mom used to flick us (me) with the tea towel, chuck the dish cloth at us and once even threatened us with a garden cane! I also remember a few slaps, but I absolutely know why, I wasnt always golden you know :rolleyes:

 

 

And that was the stuff she found out about

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

When I did typewriting class at school - yes it was the days before computers- the teacher used to hit our hands with his ruler if we let our wrists droop onto the space bar. No one ever complained it was accepted.

 

P.S. I am a very good touch typist now which in the days of computers is proving very handy.

[Panders]

When I did typewriting class at school - yes it was the days before computers- the teacher used to hit our hands with his ruler if we let our wrists droop onto the space bar. No one ever complained it was accepted.

 

P.S. I am a very good touch typist now which in the days of computers is proving very handy.

 

Mine never did this! We had metal covers we had to attach over the keys so that we couldn't see them. My mother, (87 this year) had a piano teacher who did this, and I was not offered piano lessons as a child because of it I believe!

[SueFinanceManager]

Funny what you just accepted as a child that you may not find acceptable as a parent.....we had a maths teacher who was a dab hand at chucking a board rubber.....his aim was spot on and he would land it on the desk in front of you but when he meant for it to hit you it jolly well did! Would I as a parent be happy for my child to be hit with a blackboard rubber.....hmmmm.....probably if they were behaving in the way I used to

[Rea]

I agree Sue, I accepted punishments when I was little because I knew I deserved them. I dont remember ever feeling the punishment was wrong, defiant maybe and went to bed whispering into the dark how much I hated my mom, but I knew she was right really. School punishments were accepted too. If you're going to break things, mess about, wag lessons or get caught smoking in the loo's you have to accept the punishment. (Or wag it again so you miss it :rolleyes: )

I used to tell my lads 'You know whats right and wrong, do the wrong thing and if you get caught you have to face the consequences so dont come running home crying about it'.

[HappyMaz]

When I did typewriting class at school - yes it was the days before computers- the teacher used to hit our hands with his ruler if we let our wrists droop onto the space bar. No one ever complained it was accepted.

Ooh this brought back memories. Did you have to type in time to The Merry Merry Months of May, too?

 

Also, our teacher would poke our bottoms with said ruler if we weren't sitting far back enough in our seats - posture is important for the modern touch typist!

[Rea]

I wasnt allowed to do typing class, despite my mom kicking up a stink about it. Apparently at my school and I quote the head of upper school " Typing classes are for the children who need help with their English, Andrea is doing O Level so she wont be able to do it". So, no O level English typists from my school then! :huh:

[Guest]

my other half is early forties and clearly remembers the deputy head who had the cane and was happy to administer it

 

His memories were a little too clear so I'm hazarding a winning guess that he was on the receiving end of it - but he says just once as it hurt!

I'm thirties and I remember the cane being in my primary school - I was terrified of having it so behaved!

 

My dad tells me of the village 'bobby' who clipped him round the ear when he found him up to mischief, escorted him home and then he got another clip round the ear from his dad!!

 

I think it also depends on the child, as mentioned above - for some it would be water off a ducks back and being 'grounded' is more of a punishment

 

I do agree that children pick up on their 'rights' and milk them - even in the preschool years they seem to know and there is a declining lack of respect as time goes on - worrying really!

[Guest]

Andrea is doing O Level so she wont be able to do it". So, no O level English typists from my school then! :huh:

 

ooh I didn't click that your name may be shortened! You live and learn

[Rea]

ooh I didn't click that your name may be shortened! You live and learn

 

Shortened by my friend who suggested my cooking skills were like Ria from Butterflies, but if you're in your 30s you might not know the programme. Pronouced the same as Ria not Ray!

[Guest sn0wdr0p]

Oh gosh Happy Maz I am too old to remember. Rea, I have an 0'level English Lit and O'Level English Language so obviously same rule didn't apply at my school. No maths though - still a sticking point for EYFS qualifications and the new EYT qualifications - I may get over my fear of it one day but at 48 can I really be bothered with yet more training.

[HoneyPancakes]

Shortened by my friend who suggested my cooking skills were like Ria from Butterflies, but if you're in your 30s you might not know the programme. Pronouced the same as Ria not Ray!

 

Rea, I always assumed you were American because you refer to 'Mom'. But you did O Levels which put you firmly here. Am confused now. Not asking you to reveal though.

 

H

[Rea]

I've got so many secrets I havent got room to keep that secret!!

Birmingham (UK) born and bred, grandparents from Birmingham, wales and lancashire.

I seem to be a good example of internet safety today?

[lynned55]

Well I'm early 50's and well remember the blackboard rubber being thrown at people and worst of all a ruler across the back of your knuckles!! Oh my goodness that one hurt so much, never would have thought of going hoe and telling my Mum though as she would have just said well you must have done something to deserve it!! I think that is one reason for the lack of respect, my parents thought teachers were little gods, their word was law. I happen to think differently- although i would never side with my children against a school/teacher (however unfair I thought it was) i would object strongly to a ruler across the back of the knuckles (however deserved!!) But I would object behind their backs and hope they didn't find out.

My husband went to a Catholic grammar school in the late 60's/70's - he said they lived in fear of some of the priests. they were caned for the slightest misdemeanour's. I wonder when was physical punishment made illegal in schools?

My Mum, could smack with the best of them and frequently did, gosh I well remember the slap round the face for being rude ( I said shut up under my breath) but I only did it once- just made sure my back was turned next time!!

[Rea]

My husband left school in 1980 and was being caned to the last so I presume it was banned some time afterwards. I left the following year and as far as memory serves it was still a punishment but after hubbys year left I dont think there was so much call for it to be honest!

Whispering under your breath reminded me of my oldest son when he was about 8, he mumbled 'shut up old bag, old witch' to my mom!!! She smacked him, the one and only time she's got cross with my children and she was so apologetic and upset afterwards she almost cried.

I dont recall her being so contrite when I was at the other end of the hand/dishcloth/tea towel