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Difficult Parent


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We had a child attending with behaviour issues needing a 1-1. I was seriously concerned about the safety of the other children so I was reluctant to offer extra or longer sessions. I explained that I could possibly get extra funding if parent agreed to linvolve area SENCO. I have heard through the grape vine that he is attending another playgroup but mum is going to report us to ofsted because she didn't like us using words SENCO.I am ignoring her threat but her attitude has really has really annoyed me.

I feel like phoning Ofsted and making them aware or shall i just push it to the back of my mind?

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Oh dear, big hugs---it is not like you to be so agitated. I don't really know what to advise but you have done what is right and that is all that you can do. Hope it sorts out without getting nasty.

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Oh dear bubblejack! First of all, I'd call your Local Authority for advice. I take your post to mean that she actually hasn't told you that she's going to report you, so as things stands there isn't a complaint at the moment. Your Local Authority will be able to advise if you might potentially run into difficulties over inclusion issues and it might be worth checking this angle out just in case the parent goes to Ofsted.

 

I hope it all blows over, and who knows? If the other group is telling her something similar, then maybe she'll give permission for you to seek the additional support her child needs? Sending a virtual hug!

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Hi - first of all another big hug.........

 

I don't think that you have done anything 'wrong' at all - but like Maz I would ring LA and just clarify things with them.......

 

Just last week I asked LA for advice - I had a parent threatening all sorts because I didn't have a place for her son in September - I won't bore you with the details - just suffice it to say this child does not live in my village and I had warned these parents from the start that it would be very unlikely that i could 'fit him in' - anyway enough waffle - LA were completely brilliant - very, very helpful and supportive......

 

Good luck with it all

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Don't parents make you mad sometimes though? You're just trying to be supportive and helpful. I know it must be difficult to hear that your child has additional needs, but it seems unnecessary to go about things like that. I hope you resolve it all and are able to carry on supporting the child.

Beehive

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Yes they do make me cross but unfortunately I am usually right and the poor child usually ends up not liking the first few years of their school life because there is nothing in place for them. I do write everything down though. All refusals to get outside help are logged. I am thinking of getting parents to sign something to say they have refused outside support. Maybe if they see it written down ????

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Sending a virtual hug too.:) Sometimes however you say it, or do it parents will become cross with your comments. As this issue is only hearsay at the moment I would contact your LA for advice if it is taken further. Let's hope the child gets the support they truly deserve.

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oh dear , its so difficult when you have an unhelpful parent , obviously it is difficult for any parent to think their child may need help but i wish they could see what it means for their child and view it as positive niot negative. we have a form for all parents to sign on registration giving permission to involve SENCO should we feel their child needs additional support. fortunately for us all parents have been happy to sign , stating they would want help for their child if needed.

Take the advice others have given re; contacting LA - forewarned is forearmed- good luck and hope parents bark is worse than their bite

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Hi

I totally sympathise. We have a child with challenging behaviour, needing 1-1 support but that's another story. I recently suggested to Mum that we reduce his hours from 15 to 12 because the number of sessions the child had may have been a factor in the behaviour, and we agreed to review in 6 weeks. We also changed his sessions to our quieter sessions. There was an instant change in the child's behaviour, still challenging but an improvement. We were also very concerned about the safety and wellbeing of the other children, who have as much right to feel safe and secure as the child does to attend our setting (we have bent over backwards to understand and meet his needs and continue to do and make progress). This would be the same with any child, adjusting sessions to meet the child's needs. Can you explain that you are trying to meet the child's individual needs? We really had hit rock bottom but things are improving slowly with help from portage.

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I have had a child this year with very similar sounding issues and we had to drop him back to 6 hours as these were the only times we could offer him 1:1. I checked with my local authority regarding the inclusion issue and they were fine. As long as I had strategies and an IEP in place and because I could justify that the 6 hours was quality care and that he would have a negative experience with us if increased to 15. I have got funding this term so have been able to increase his hours but it took some lengthy and delicate conversations to get mum on board with the whole SENCO thing and I played it from the 'we need her to be involved because we need help to do the best we can for your child' angle. Luckily our area SENCO is also our EYA so I did emphasise that side of her role. I hope everything works out for you

Edited by max321
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Hi bubblejack

 

We have had similar issues recently and it is just so hard. Hope it all gets sorted out for you, for what its worth can only echo what everyone else has said in that you haven't done anything wrong. I would get advice and you obviously have everything written down in case you need to justify anything.

 

If it does escalate you could phone Ofsted to preempt things but it doesn't sound like a complaint has been made yet.

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