kristina Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Hi Everyone Myself and my Hubby are due to go the Simply Red farewell concert tomorrow evening (depending on weather!), our babysitters have let us down (due to weather in Essex!!). My predicament being both my girls are saying that they are old enough (and sensible enough!!) to be left without babysitters!! They are 13 & 14 (just!) and when they have inset days etc I do leave them at home (the days when they wanted to play at pre school are long gone!!), but I have never left them in the evening!! Am I being over protective? We do have a friend who lives 5 minutes away and a dog (boxer who looks the part if nothing else!!). So the question is at what age?? Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 My kids are at that in between age too - Girl 14 and boy 12. We have just recently started leaving them for a couple of hours in the evening. We have our mobiles on and a friend who lives two mins away. They have loved it! I can't say whether you should leave them as only you know if they are sensible enough, it's not so much an age thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 if you feel they are sensible enough and have help at hand if they need it -- i would say it should be ok (but you know your kiddies the best ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Kristina; I'm meant to be going to that concert too, though I'm not holding out much hope of getting there! Only you know your children best, however, my concern would be what happens if you can't get back due to the weather? I'll wave if I see you lol!!! Good luck!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblejack Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 You would just know yourself if its ok to leave them. Not a lot of help really but as janny says you could be delayed in getting back. Would you really enjoy it knowing this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 My answer would be if your asking the question then you know what you want the answer to be. I would have said no if it was mine for all the reasons that at night if you are delayed or something goes wrong they can't just run down the road for help. Also I don't think you will enjoy your evening if you are worrying about should you have left them. Can you find an older cousin or a teenager to look after them or could they stay at a friends house for the evening? Hope you get to the concert good luck!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 What a dilemma for you, and as previous posts have already said what if? is there no friendly neighbour or relation that they could go to so as not to spoil your special evening. Hoping you get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I used to leave my boys at around the same age. They were fixated on the computer and games consoles anyway so didnt know if we were in the hous or not. They had our number if they needed anything and strict rules not to open the door to anyone. They loved it when they noticed we were gone. Its a very individual decision to make though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I can only reiterate what others have said - only you know whether or not your children are ready to be left alone in the evening. On a personal note, I did on occasion leave my two sons alone in the house when they were of a similar age. I used to let our next door neighbour know we were going out though, just so she could keep an ear open just in case. My sons knew that if they needed help quickly, they could phone our neighbour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I think the legal requirement is 15 if that helps. I'm not sure you'd enjoy the concert, though, if you were worrying about them? Good luck getting there, whatever you decide. We are (hoping) to fly out of Heathrow early tomorrow morning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I think the legal requirement is 15 if that helps. I'm not sure you'd enjoy the concert, though, if you were worrying about them? Good luck getting there, whatever you decide. We are (hoping) to fly out of Heathrow early tomorrow morning I'm not sure that there is 'a legal requirement' at all - think that this was discussed on recent 'safeguarding' training..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I'm not sure that there is 'a legal requirement' at all - think that this was discussed on recent 'safeguarding' training..... There's no legal requirment, you're allowed to leave your children when you see fit as far as I know. I was left in the house by myself for a week when I was only just 16 whilst my parents went away on holiday. I'd have no qualms about leaving a sensible 13 and 14 year old for an evening and I wouldn't even worry about being away overnight. Yes things can go wrong, but do you seriously expect them to set the house on fire/drown themselves in the bath/throw a wild party? If the answer is no then go off and enjoy yourselves, it's not even as if they'd be alone since there is two of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I left my son alone when he was about 13 but I built up to it (going out just to a local pub for an hour while he was home with a friend etc.). You know yourself whether they are sensible enough. I found that a threat, that if any tiny thing went wrong when I was gone he would have to go back to staying his Grandma's, worked rather well! He's 15 now and there's never been any problems with him staying in on his own but like Rea said, he barely even notices I'm gone because he's on his xbox! If you decide to go, tell them not to answer the door to anyone and if they answer the phone to tell whoever it is that you're in the bath rather then saying they're home alone (You could give them a list of people who they are allowed to tell the truth to but if they're anything like my gormless teenager a blanket rule works best!!) Leave them microwave meals so that they have no need to use the oven or grill if they get hungry. Make sure all phones are fully charged before you leave and they have phone numbers of several people they can phone for help/ advise if they can't get hold of you. Obviously make sure they know to phone 999 in an emergency! Leave a spare key with the nearby friend and if possible, ask them to call in on them at some point. Also tell the kids that this is going to happen so they won't get up to anything they wouldn't want to be caught doing! Ask your friend to text you to let you know everything's ok so you can relax and enjoy the concert. That's all I can think of for now but I'm sure other people will have some ideas of how to make the night go without a hitch. I hope you manage to get to the concert, whether you leave the kids or find another babysitter. Have fun xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristina Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 Hi Everyone Well we did go and had a great time! Both the girls were fine, we left them with a list of numbers and a couple of checking up calls from myself and grandparents! They had a great time without us, we came home to find both of them in our bed watching TV including the dog (he's not normally let in the bedrooms!!). They want to know when we are going out again!! Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Glad that it worked out well for you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Glad you took the plunge and managed to have a great time. You wont be able to get out of leaving them in the future now. 'But you left us last time and nothing bad happened' was always the comment from my 2. I always think if you treat them like adults and give them responsibility they'll rise to the challenge. Its as they get older and have a larger group of friends and drink that the problems start! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alison Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Glad you took the plunge and managed to have a great time........I always think if you treat them like adults and give them responsibility they'll rise to the challenge. wise words children are capable of alot more responcibility than they are often given, I cringe when I look back at the time I was growing up, my eldest brother was frequently left as the baby sitter while my mum went out to work, he was just 12 looking after me and my other brother (aged 7 and 10 at the time) Im not advocating leaving children that age home alone these days but no-one batted an eye lid in those days in just over 30 years how society has changed!?!?! we are alot more protective of our children than ever before and recent studies have shown that because children are not being allowed to take risks, when they are given freedom in their teenage years they dont know how to handle the responcbility Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I am so glad you were able to go and everything was fine, well come on then how great was it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 So glad you managed to get there and that everything was fine at home. Unfortunately I didn't get to the concert; absolutely gutted and I spent the night crying; how sad lol!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Oh dear Maybe you'll have another chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Oh dear Maybe you'll have another chance. err it was a farewell concert.. last one.. only chance unfortunately.. sorry you missed it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristina Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Feel guilty saying this as some missed it!! But it was a fantastic concert and a few tears were shed when at the end he sang Holding Back the Years and his daughter ran onto the stage and hugged him!! Really glad we went!! I bought the girls a cd each yesterday to say Thank You for being so sensible and well behaved, I did explain that they wouldn't get a treat everytime!! Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Glad you made it Kris! Hope my kids are as sensible as yours when they get to that age. I was sure there was a 'legal' age, maybe that is for baby sitters? Anyway, we didn't make it, no flight so stuck here for Xmas. Oh well, at least it's a white one!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Glad you made it Kris! Hope my kids are as sensible as yours when they get to that age. I was sure there was a 'legal' age, maybe that is for baby sitters? Anyway, we didn't make it, no flight so stuck here for Xmas. Oh well, at least it's a white one!! Oh Suzie - what a shame Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 oh Suzie i'm sorry - i still have everything crossed for my mum and dad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Suzie- I was sure there was a 'legal' age, maybe that is for baby sitters? (I don't know how to do the quote thing!) I thought that too, I was sure we'd been told on safeguarding training that there was no legal age for leaving kids on their own but to babysit they had to be 14, but after a discussion with my sister about her letting her 13 year old babysit for her younger sisters I googled it and it turns out that there isn't a limit. Maybe there used to be and it's changed... dunno! x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I looked into it about 8 years ago when a friend said she couldnt leave her 15yr old home alone yet. The info I found said there is no age restriction. If you leave an under 16 yr old in charge of younger children and something goes wrong you as the parent are responsible. An over 16 yr old in charge would be responsible for any mishaps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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