Dispute

[Guest]

Need some advise please. I have a member of staff who does'nt seem to get along with a parent who is undertaking her level 3 in our setting where her child attends. To keep the story short the staff member does not want the mother to be part of the staff and included. What I want to know, is the mother a mother or does she count as part of the staff being in placement. Our student placement policies and procedures is based on the PLA but really doesnt say anything about Parents doing placement in their own child's setting. I've spoken to the member of staff about her concerns and that they need to work together for the sake of the setting, but she still keeps going on. What can I do next, this is totally stressing me out. We do have a meeting tomorrow with the mother regarding her role within the setting. Any suggestions would be wonderful. Thank you

[Panders]

What exactly are the main disputes about - disciplining the child with the mother around - is the mother not "working" well with her child around her, or is the child finding it difficult to have mum there? Is it possibly something that has happened outside of nursery that makes this member of staff so against your work placement mum?

[Guest]

I would say- don't put her in the same room as her child (IF you have separate rooms!) when she's a student she follows the same rules and guidlelines as any other student.

When she's not working she's a parent and is treated as such.

 

I'd be looking more at "why" the member of staff has such an issue. If it's personal reasons- tough get on with it. If its work related discuss and see if they are workable or not.

 

For example child plays up when mum is there and mum spends too much time dealing with her own child. Discuss with both how to resolve. Mum slept with staff members boyfriend last week- maybe suggest she finds another placement!

[Guest]

In our setting we include all long term students on placement as staff and they have to do their fair share which means attending staff meetings as well. As others have said if the problem is to do with parent-child interaction in the setting then can this be dealt with as you would deal with it if the parent were actually a member of staff? If it is not this my attitude would be one of tough - the staff member needs to get on with the staff team and it just so happens one of that team is a parent who is doing a placement. I would stand by this whatever the staff member's problem unless the issue was around a breach of policies/procedures, in which case the parent/student needs to be dealt with as you would deal with a staff member in this instance.

 

I'm quite strong on this as I've found in the past that the students are often the ones in first and out last, doing all the rubbish jobs in between like washing the paint pots and making sure all the tables are wiped down after we finish. All this while staff are out the door on the dot. Obviously not all students are as good as this but if you don't have a problem with her in terms of the issues discussed and it comes down to a personal issue then the staff member needs to be professional and get on with it. (rant over!)

[Rea]

If she's on placement I'd treat her like any other student. Include her in staff meetings, give her a role while being aware she might have to do certain things for her course criteria. The member of staff who doesnt want her there will ahve to give very good reasons for her stance. When I was training with teh PLA, our tutor told us to never close the door on a parent, they were our next staff, nobody closed the door on me and I have since always kept it open.

[Guest]

thanks for replying. The issue is nothing major, nothing to do with child, procedures etc. Its more off a personal clash/threat. I did mention months ago to all staff/committee members before all this happened that mum could bring alot of expertise into the setting as she is very good with ICT, rewording things etc etc, which we all lack in and playing with the children, this was put as a comment. Since then staff has totally ignored her and jumps down her throat when she asks for something Staff has threatened to give her notice in if mum stays on after september to finish her course, which is very petty. Hopefully tomorrow my chair will be able to sort this out, find out what mum has to say and work from that. I feel sorry for mum who doesnt deserve to be treated in this way by one of my staff. I did mention about bullying to my staff before when she did the same thing to my younger member of staff, which I managed to sort out.

[Cait]

It sounds to me like you'd be best off without this member of staff!!

[Guest]

Staff has threatened to give her notice in if mum stays on after september to finish her course, which is very petty.

 

 

I agree with you Cait, I think you would be better off without the 'staff' member. Don't be held to ransome, if she wants to leave let her!!

[Guest]

It sounds to me like you'd be best off without this member of staff!!

 

I agree!

 

My sympathies are with your student, what a horrible situation to be in and probably more so when her child attends the setting -it doesn't reflect well on your member of staff, does it? The atmosphere must be pretty unpleasant for everyone?

 

Perhaps you could view this as an opportunity for the member of staff to leave of her own volition rather than than a situation to resolve!? every cloud has a silver lining............

 

Nona

[HoneyPancakes]

Sounds like your staff member is feeling insecure with such a talented student showing them up. Reassuring them that their job is secure while remaining firm about the student's position as a 'staff member' is important. You need to have some complementary points about their work to sweeten your chat at the end. Good old Gordon Brown News Sandwich.

 

Good luck and if you can't sort it and your staff member leaves, you've got an easy replacement. What do you have to lose?

 

Fe (I'm and Aussie too!)

[eyfs1966]

So sorry to hear of your problem. Just a thought, really along the lines of Cait and Fe, but have you considered the "word of mouth" issues that might be going on here? I know that you are seeing the student as a student, but she is also a parent, and if she feels that she is not being treated fairly in the setting, this could cloud her view on the setting as a whole. Disgruntled parents (who then talk to other parents) are the worst publicity for any setting. I think you might need to remind your staff member of this. This is the sort of thing that can easily have longer term repercussions. Is that what she wants?

[HappyMaz]

Actually I'm more worried about the children. Both staff member and student are grown ups and should be able to handle any differences that arise (but what a baptism of fire for the student ). However I wonder if this atmosphere is communicating itself to the children - the member of staff is hardly providing a good role model of how to get along with people is she?

 

If she can't resolve her differences with the student then she needs to be reminded of the importance of behaving courteously towards the student at all times, and if not then there will be trouble!

 

It appears she has a history of this kind of behaviour, so perhaps if she does threaten to resign again you should regretfully accept it and allow her to move on.

 

Life is too short for this kind of nonsense really, isn't it?

 

Good luck - hope it gets sorted soon.

 

Maz

[narnia]

Absolutely agree.....if your staff member cannot behave like an adult and with proper courtesy, then you'll be better off without her. If the mum is doing a good job, without issues, then your staff member needs to grow up and remember that she's there to do a job, which includes showing the children how to behave well. She does sound very insecure, but you cannot possibly allow her to hold you to ransom like this, so tell her that if she wishes to resign, then with regret, you will have to accept it.

[Guest]

Oh this takes me back to a very similar situation I had. The issues and tissues your member of staff probably go a lot deeper than you realise and I certainly think you need to keep a dialogue up probably with both of them at some time together to iron these issues out otherwise they will fester which is not good on any account. I think this is the only way to get to the bottom of the problem but then again you may never get to the issue in hand and bullying other members of young staff is just not acceptable - seems to me that there are some serious issues with the member of staff whether it be self esteem, competence or otherwise and sometimes having that indepth chat of what and why will reveal a bit more. You know your member of staff but I was always suprised by how little I knew about their values and issues when I came to speak to them

Good luck

Nikki

[dublinbay]

Great advice from everyone already. I hope you can sort the situation out before it escalates any further. Good luck!

[Guest]

you lot are so much nicer than me!

 

As far as I'm concerned this is potentially work place bullying and irrespective of reasons its not acceptable. The consequences are far reaching and some have been outlined above.

 

Personally my chat with the staff member would consist of checking what the issues are and having a record of them. Then advising of the consequences of her actions should they continue.

 

zlw

mean and nasty!

[Guest]

my chair and myself had a chat with them both today individally and has told the staff that mum is part of the team and wants to be acknowledge as part of a team while training and that she must be respectful and that her behaviour has been very unprofessional. She told staff while in the setting she needs to be polite and professional, also spoke to her about all our policies regarding staff, parents as partner , student placement (that all individuals are part of a team), behaviour etc etc which she should be aware of and abid by them, as this issue has had a big effect on all my staff, myself and the children inparticular. All information has been documented and signed. She will monitor the staff regularly and take appropriate actions from now on. Our new chair is quite good as her job outside involves personel thank god. Am so glad to have a good chair who I can talk to and assist me in problems that I can't seem to manage. I think next course for me will have to be How to Manage my staff!!!!!! She is in tomorrow all day bless her to play, look and observe attitudes, as I am on training all day. There's not many chairpersons out there who takes there role professionally and seriously, ( please note I'm not being disrespectful to any chairs out there)

 

but anyway thank you all for your support and useful info which I have taken on board Fingers cross Aussie

[HappyMaz]

That all sounds much more positive Aussie!

 

And its great to hear someone saying good things about their Chair, too!

 

Hope you enjoy your training tomorrow!

 

Maz