Ok Have You Had This One Before?

[Guest]

We have a little girl with who previously enjoyed snacktime with us, but over the last year we noticed she wasn't having a snack at all. I talked to her about what she liked and made sure we included this, discussed with mum and dad, etc but no difference. Then we started lunches with her group and mum approached us with a breakthrough. She had noticed the little girl would avoid eating with other children at all times, and through careful discussion they had established this seemed to be due to her dislike of watching people eat. Adults she could cope with as generally they are more likely to eat with their mouth closed and not speak with food in their mouths. But with peers who are still developing their social skills she finds herself gagging and this has put her off eating with them. Being an only child she has been able to avoid the situation as much as possible, but she is going to school full time in September and will have to eat lunch with other children.

 

We have tried sitting an adult between her and the other children during packed lunches to create a space for her to eat in and initially this wasn't too bad. But now she has stopped eating again. She will sit at the table with the other children although she does look increasingly pale and withdrawn as they chatter away while eating. She swallows a lot during this as though trying to control the urge to be sick and often looks away from the table and up to the ceiling. Obviously we discussed polite eating habits, etc with the group but they are only 3 and 4 years old and I can't guarantee things will be better at school anyway. We are desperate to help her crack this before September as I'm unsure how supportive the school will be as she can't go all day without food. So any ideas anyone?

[HappyMaz]

I'm not usually one to go straight to the professionals, but in this case I think I'd ask for advice from your inclusion team. I've heard of children with eating issues, but not anything like this before. It sounds to me as if this child would benefit from some kind of portage support - someone with a good understanding of the underlying issues might be able to decide an end point (watching children eat without wanting to throw up) and backchain to design a series of activities/experiences designed to help desensitise her.

 

What an interesting case - I'll look forward to other suggestions with interest!

 

Maz

[Guest]

I too would say that this is one that needs to go straight to the professionals. Eating issues can become extremely serious, especially if handled in the wrong way and this is obviously something that needs sorting before she starts school for her own sake. It might be that a professional would recommend her being withdrawn from eating with children altogether until she is more desensitised in case it is making things worse. On the other hand they might not, but what I'm really trying to say is that getting advice from a professional is probably a must with this asap since it sounds like things are getting worse.

 

It might be good if mum could try getting professionals involved from her end as well, perhaps through the doctor or another relevant party? Would mum be willing to do this do you think?

Edited April 26, 2010 by Guest

[Guest]

Thanks for all your advice. I called area team over something else and mentioned this to them too.Their advice was to refer to Health Visitor or ask mum to self refer it to her. Unfortunately the area team person got very caught up with issues arising from the parents which I strongly believe not to be the case as I know the little girl eats really well with adults. Any way that is my plan. If we ever get to the bottom of it I'll let you know.

[Guest]

Have you thought that she might not like other people to see her eating?

 

Don't know if this comes into it but after watching Channel 4's supersize/superskinny program this affect some people.

 

Rachel

[Cait]

I had a staff member who would never go out with us as she couldn't bear people watching her eating. After 5 years we DID manage to finally cure her of it!

[hali]

i watched that one Rachel and was thinking that as i read the post - hope you manage to find the cause or a solution

[Guest]

I also had another thought - what is she like with other messy activities? Is she willing to get messy herself in play? How does she react to other people being messy either through play or just children's personal hygiene (snotty noses or unflushed toilets being two that spring to mind in a nursery!) Have you ever had messy food play, and if so how did she react to that? Just thought it might give some insight.

[Guest]

She does engage in messy play to be honest although not as enthusiastically as some, but not reluctantly either. She isn't keen on snotty noses (who is?) but I have seen her try to help younger ones wipe their noses so she isn't that put off either. She is also quite happy to sit alone with an adult while eating, so I don't feel there is an issue in being watched while eating.

 

I've spoken to her parents and I am getting some written permission to speak to her Health Visitor for some more advice. Hopefully we can get this on the road to being settled before she starts school, but I'll be back to let you know if we get anywhere.

[sunnyday]

Hi Holly

 

I think you have the best idea there.

 

Poor little thing - I have every sympathy for her - it doesn't take a lot to put me off my food either.

[Panders]

I wonder if she is making a link here to children being sick - has she perhaps ever witnessed another child being sick and now associates that children+food+eating=vomitting peoples fears come from quite small beginnings - my own fear of birds began when one fell down our chimney as a child - I know the fear is irrational but it won't go away on its own I would need to be de-sensitized but as it doesn't stop me leading a normal life I've never sought help.