Toiletting Problems Again... Sorry

[Guest MaryEMac]

Can I run this past you all please. We have a boy who willl be 4 in the summer. He is out of nappies but we are having between 1 and 5 wet pants a day and occasionally a dirty pair of pants. He is totally oblivious to having wet or dirtied. We have been gently reminding him about going to the toilet but this not working. he says that he doesn't need to go and then 30 seconds later he is wet.

His mum has been searching on the internet and brought in some information from the University of Michigan which she wants us to follow.

1 we are not to ask him if he needs the toilet but to send him at snacktimes and lunchtime.

2 if he wets we are not to change him but to leave him wet.

3 we are not to use a reward chart if he stays dry.

 

We are ok with 1 and 3 but we don't feel that it is fair to leave him wet. Also it would not be very pleasant for the other children to have to sit on wet chairs and carpet.

 

Mum says that he is fine at home and has only a few accidents but she has said that he doesn't always wear trousers at home so that if he is desperate it is easier for him.

 

Could I have your thoughts on this please?

 

Thanks, Mary

[Panders]

first thought - could he wear tracksuit bottoms or shorts while he is with you which he can manage easily? We had similar problems with a 3 and a half year old, until mum gave up work to have 2nd baby and she finally spent enough time with him at home to keep him focused over the Christmas holidays and he has been great since our return to school in January, - just one accident.

[Guest MaryEMac]

We asked mum to send him in trackie bottoms but he is still wearing jeans.

 

Mary

[Upsy Daisy]

I don't think you could leave him wet. There are too many hygiene implications. Unless you could find a way to cover his pants with a waterproof layer so the wet stays on his skin and causes mild discomfort. You would have to change him if he became upset about feeling wet.

 

I think I solved a similar problem recently by (genuinely) only having spare trousers which were pink with big flowers on. The four year old boy in question was horrified but it cut down on accidents dramatically.

[Guest MaryEMac]

That might be worth a try

 

Mary

[Beau]

You really can't leave him in wet things as Upsy Daisy says, for health and hygiene reasons.

 

One thing I would suggest is that you get him to change and clean himself, with a member of staff to direct and remind him of what he needs to do. If he is having to deal with it himself, and it is taking him away from his play, then he will perhaps start to become more aware of it.

[diesel10]

Perhaps a long shot, but is there something in the toilets that he doesn't like. Have you for a potty he could use.

 

This must be very time consuming for you and your staff and needs sorting asap.

[Guest]

I think the getting him to change himself sounds like the good idea, with minimum of attention from staff as he does it. No chat or anything, just hand over the change of clothes and then watch him discretely as he changes only talking to remind him of what he needs to do very briefly. It could be that with so many children around he is using pant wetting as a way of getting attention.

 

Also if mum wants you to leave him wet could she provide those pull up pants that are like nappies which he could wear? Hygiene wouldn't be such a concern then and if he wore them over his normal underwear he'd still feel uncomfortable, perhaps you could agree that they only get changed at lunch time or something and again do this with no fuss or anything, just had over the new pants for him to put on himself.

[Panders]

You really can't leave him in wet things as Upsy Daisy says, for health and hygiene reasons.

 

One thing I would suggest is that you get him to change and clean himself, with a member of staff to direct and remind him of what he needs to do. If he is having to deal with it himself, and it is taking him away from his play, then he will perhaps start to become more aware of it.

 

 

Actually, that's reminded me Beau - we had some success with this approach a few years ago with a girl, who had problems, we didn't 'crack' it though and I understand she was still experiencing problems in Reception and they had to call mum in each time to sort her out!

Edited March 2, 2010 by Panders

[Guest]

Aside from the health and hygiene aspect of the situation, I am shocked that a parent would want her child to stay wet after an accident.

 

I can understand if it is a method of attempting to "teach them a lesson" so to speak, but how awful, on many levels for that poor child.

 

There have been some good suggestions here already. I particularly like the flowery trousers idea! Our boys would seriously kick up a fuss if they were the only alternative

[Guest]

i've used pink knickers to sort a situation that happened to us when child when asked said they wet themselves 'cos they like our pants!!!!!' it only took 1 pair and he was cured thank you for the idea of them changing themselves we have had a real problem with a child that we have tried everything with and he is still wetting and soiling too often but i think lots of it is for attention so this may really help us and mum who is also at the end of her teather.

[mps09]

further to one of the other posts.... it could possibly be the toilet area..

 

I've come across this several times and found the child doesn't like the fact there is no privacy!

 

This was solved by them being encouraged to say if they needed the toilet and an adult 'guarding' the door to ensure no-one else went in until the child had finished.

 

Might be worth a try?

 

Good luck!

[Sharky]

After a little incident today with a child, I suggest having spare clothes for staff! My poor deputy had to ask a toilet-trained but slightly under the weather boy if he needed a wee once she felt the warm wee percolating through her jeans!

[Beau]

After a little incident today with a child, I suggest having spare clothes for staff! My poor deputy had to ask a toilet-trained but slightly under the weather boy if he needed a wee once she felt the warm wee percolating through her jeans!

 

Never thought of this! There have been times when I have left work to go shopping and got home to find that I have been walking around with squashed playdough stuck to my bottom but nothing worse than that.

[Inge]

we used to have some spare staff clothes.. several spare uniform tops, and jumpers/ fleece and we had some tracksuit bottoms which were fine for most to wear in emergency... it was a child throwing up all over someone which caused us to do this..

 

and I must admit I always had a spare set in my car... as did one or two other staff.. along with the spare shoes, coat, and anything else you could think of...

 

Inge

[Guest]

Surely leaving a child wet is neglect, I wouldn't agree to this. I can understand that the mum wants to sort out the toileting issues but I don't think leaving him in wet pants is the answer. mrsW.x

[Guest MaryEMac]

Today has been a better day, we didn't mention the toilet except to remind everyone to go to the loo and wash their hands before snack. The child in question went home in the same clothes that he had arrived in. Hope it wasn't just a flash in the pan. (no pun intended).

 

Mary