Putting Things Away?

[Guest]

Ok today is my first day as the manager of the nursery.......ok remember my problems with the Admin manager and that are roles were clarified and defined so as to give me autonomony....well today the team set up the room as per plan for settling in...mark making table set up with pens paper etc....very close to self selecting shelf with more pens glue scissors etc for their independence......my Admin manager walks into the room mid session and clears the mark making table...another member of staff got more things out with a child again....half an hour later the Admin manager comes back into the room and clears it again....and so I say can you please leave the table...she is cross and says that the children need to put something away every time they use it ready for the next child...(Montessori) with all due respect we are not a Montessori nursery and I like the children to be able to move freely around the room - they don't have to tidy away other areas so how consistent is this principle Obviously we all tidy at certain times of the day...and children are encouraged to treat the resources with respect at all times?

My Admin manager left it that we needed to talk as "you are changin everything I have implemented" ( I understand this, but she asked for a manager because she didn't want to do it) I am feeling very deflated - several times she came out of the office and checked the room?

 

I clearly said to her that the committee have made it clear our roles are different the committee's words were "the classroom is yours" (me) and the office is yours (Admin MAnager)

 

 

AAAAAArrrrrrggggghhh again - THIS WAS MY FIRST DAY!

Incidentally other staff present said confidentially that they supported what I was doing - and by the way the children were all fabulous...

 

Any words of wisdom...sorry I keep asking....

Edited September 2, 2009 by Guest

[Guest]

Hello there.

Sorry today was so frustrating. I think that she is finding it hard to let go and this may take some time and alot of patience from you. Your ideas sound great. I have to say that we do encourage children to tidy up after themselves, but not so that it's completely bare; scissors in the right pot, pencils in the right draw etc....which I am sure that you do to.

 

Just keep in gently, but firmly and assertively doing what you are doing and making expectations clear to staff and children. It is no longer her role and if it contines to be a problem, then have a talk to the committee. It IS only day one. Things may well change as she gets into her new role.

Tomorrow is another day.

[SueJ]

Ouch

 

You have my sympathy - what an horrendous start - it very much looks as though Admin Mgr. wishes to be confrontational and undermine your role - have you thought of keeping an incident log for perhaps the first week with a view to sharing it with Admin Mgr when you have your "talk" or even the committee.

 

If at all possible keep log emotion free and factual e.g., times, dates, actions. If you can evidence that your changes (from Admin Mgrs way of doing things) show that your way is better for supporting the children's care and learning even better. No reasonable person would wish to return to a way of working that provided less care and support I would hope.

[Guest]

I have just had a long conersation with her and she has basically said that if I can't change my principles to see it all work as it has done then maybe I am in the wrong place.........all very amicable but would of been nice to make this clear two weeks ago....she has gone to the committee - I think she definetly wants someone to come in do the planning, obs and assessment cycle but keep her ways of how the setting is run...with nothing on the walls too..apparently that made her livid this mornign that I put children's picture up as they done them!

 

I have spoken to the Chair also and they said they back my changes 100%....all sooooo confusing!

 

Edited September 2, 2009 by Guest

[Guest]

Hmmm, if she's coming into the room, 'checking on what's going on' is she doing her job?

 

Doesn't help the situation but just voicing what you might be thinking.

 

Agree, this is just day one, maybe rehearse a response to her actions that isn't too confrontational, ie: Please respect the committee's clarification of our roles, could we compromise here, may I suggest that you try and leave me to it for two weeks, then we can have a meeting and discuss with ALL staff how everyone feels about the changes I am implimenting. I promise to be open to listen to all constructive comments at that time.

 

Hands up here I WAS THE ADMIN MANAGER in my preschool, actually I was the owner but I employed a manager to enable me to carry out the 'business' side of my business during working hours instead of working late on admin every night. I WAS A NIGHTMARE- I would breeze into the setting and change my new managers hard work, I'd state, no, I want it done this way and that way and didn't listen at all to her views. I didn't realise at the time how much I was undermining her and making her working day really difficult. I am admitting this because, we are not all perfect and I totally empathise with the difficulty of LETTING GO, it is really hard to do. And if I'm honest I don't know what my new manager could have done to change my attitude, she told me enough times how she felt, but I wasn't hearing what she said and I was blind to the effect I was having until an outsider pointed it out to me. (Ofsted Inspection). So learning from my mistakes, maybe getting your EYAT in would be useful, to help set up clear communication between the two of you. What is VERY important is that if there is conflict and lack of communication this will cause confusion for the children and other staff members. Maybe getting the admin manager to recognise this could be one of the first steps towards harmony. Also find a way to acknowledge her difficulties in letting go in a non patronizing way, understanding that she may not 'hear' what you are saying for quite some time.

Think of this as a phase to work through that will not get better overnight, but I assure you will improve if everyone can step back, consider and respect each other, and put the childrens needs first before ego's. (which if we are honest we all suffer from sometimes )

 

Good luck.

 

Peggy

[dublinbay]

Poor you Shirel.....hope you have a better day tomorrow.

 

Stick to your guns though. You know what you are doing is right.

 

Maybe she needs more admin work to do.........sounds like she hasn't enough to keep herself busy!!

[Guest]

We crossed posts there.

 

I think what might be difficult for her as well is that the committee were happy with what she was doing, now it appears to her that maybe they weren't or that her way of doing things has been totally demolished, so to speak. I wonder if the committee have had underlying feelings of not liking the way she has done things in the past and you are now the 'scapegoat' the 'problem solver' for issues they haven't had the strength (of knowledge and/or character) to challenge before.??

 

I would hope that the committee are strong enough to say that any future discussions regarding this should be held with both of you in attendence, otherwise they are making a rod for their own backs, encouraging/enabling tit for tat type meetings with indiviuals on a seperate basis, which will undermine the formation of 'the team'.

 

Peggy

[Upsy Daisy]

I agree with Peggy. You need to have a meeting to clarify your roles and that needs to be with someone who can make decisions - either the chair, the officers or the whole committee. The results need to be minuted clearly and then a review date set. If she thinks she is in chargeand you don't you are never going to sort this out.

 

That way you know that the same thing is being said to everyone. It may not be a very comfortable meeting but hopfully things should improve afterwards.

[Inge]

It did cross my mind as to her training from previous post..

 

I also wonder now as to if she would have had to undergo further training to continue her role which is one of the reasons she has side stepped to Admin role.

 

Staff are obviously willing to give changes a go, and in time she may be able to realise that you are not there to undo her work but enhance it and move it forward.. only time and getting committee to ensure she is aware of your differing roles , she will go to committee, and will probably continue to until she accepts that they have employed a new member of staff for a new role,

 

it is hard to let go when you have set something up or worked hard at it. I found learning to sit back and watch others do thing differently hard but I was able to do it, I know others cannot..

 

Perhaps asking advice on a few things may help... making her feel still involved in the children, could be she is finding that side hard... after all the children are what make it all worthwhile for many of us.

 

Inge

[Guest]

Thank you for your replies.. your wealth of knowledge and support is brilliant, thank you.

 

I am holding tight for the next phone call - I am not in tomorrow but am again on Friday and so will see what happens then....can't begin to tell you all how disappointed I am, I have already done so much for the setting and certainly didn't expect this today (I even done their SEF over the holidays as they didn't have one) ... I expected maybe resistance to change and teething problems but I really did try to get everything clarified prior to the first session for the sake of staff and children......I just keep thinking why couldn't she of raised her queries before today, even last night would of been better than my first day.......I think she may have bottled it all up....I had put things on the wall and created a 'Farm shop' at the weekend and she had been in and seen this yet not mentioned how horrified she was about it until today? Mid-session?

 

The children loved the farm shop anyway...

[hali]

oww bless you Shirel - stick with it girl you are right - glad committee said they back you

[sunnyday]

Big virtual hug coming your way shirel!

 

Great advice from everyone as ever!

 

She sounds like a complete nightmare to me do hope you have a much better day on Friday.

[Alison]

deep breath ......breathe out slow ..... count to ten..... and as soon as admin lady leaves the room put it all back as YOU want it

 

if you can find a time to talk/discuss/ debate your different learning approaches then it will help smooth the way and you might beable to learn something from each other but this is possibly more about territory and wanting to keep her mark on the area and it might take time for her to accept you

 

patience lots of patience

[Guest]

After a sticky few phone calls and meetings with all involved...the Admin manager has apologised to me which was really good of her and we hugged and chatted about the future...all good stuff..however we do have different thinking on early years education and she will be putting in her opinions as I think that is just who she is and I guess I need to try to accept it and grow broad shoulders......she has asked me to explain how and why I have changed things....the committee chair said I don't need to and to be honest I don't and this also sets me to thinking all is not completely resolved in her mind but I have typed up a little explanation just to keep the peace and hopefully build relationships....what do you think?

[sunnyday]

Hi shirel....I think that's perfect....and that you are showing her 'due respect' by putting your thoughts in writing as per her request.....

 

Really hope you have a better week.....

 

Sunnyday

[Upsy Daisy]

That is good news Shirel!

 

She has made an effort and you are meeting her halfway. No, you don't have to do what she asks but you will to build bridges and that's great.

 

Why don't you find a way of sharing your reasoning with everyone? That way you are just informing everyone of what will happening in the setting rather than justifying yourself to one person.

[HappyMaz]

I think it is reasoned, well argued and above all makes your commitment to maintaining the highest standards of care and education for your children very clear indeed.

 

Hopefully this week will be better - she's clearly reflected on her behaviour and whilst she may still take some time to the idea of relinquishing power to someone else at least you have the basis for a better relationship to work from.

 

Well done you!

 

Maz

[Guest]

Thank you for your replies....really appreciated as usual you are all my support system....thanks maz for the message...I have removed the upload now as I had inadvertently left the setting name on...oooppsss...I know I coudl re-attach without the name but you have already given me the reassurance I need......thank you thank you thank you...special thanks to you maz....xxx