Guest Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi I was wondering if I could get your thoughts about this. I am presently in the middle of my NQT year, which I am loving! I really like the school and feel very settled there. Before I started teaching I worked at a private Nursery for three years and did an Early Childhood Studies degree. So have experience of working in the early years. However, I am 27 years old and recently got married and would love to have a baby. I have already told my husband that we should wait to have a baby as he has really wanted to have one for awhile now, but I have got to the point where I am finding it hard to say lets wait, as I feel ready to have a baby too. The problem is that I have only just started teaching and am worried that by having a baby I may effect my teaching career. I would only want to go back to work part time, and am not sure my present school would accomadate this. I am also worried that employers may be put off due to this decision. It's so hard as I am constantly thinking about it, being around the children doesn't help either!! What do you think, should I put it off to get more experience? Any thoughts are welcome xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Oh, that's a hard one!! I am not a teacher, but I would agree that so new to the profession might be a bit difficult. However you do also have a life, and it sounds as if you two have been together for some time! Would it strain your relationship to put this off? Maybe you two need to talk again about this, in the light of your developing change of mind? Sorry, it's really difficult advising on this kind of issue when you don't actually know someone. We were 27 when our first was born, it's about the right sort of age (but I would say that, wouldn't I!! ), but that shouldn't sway you in this circumstance. Have I helped at all? Best of luck, anyway Sue x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 There are no easy answers on this one. You can guarantee that you will get pregnant on demand nor that you will ever find things "right" in your career. Make the decision that is right for you both now and enjoy your time as a couple or a family in waiting! Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Susan, that's exactly what I was trying to say!! I'm supposed to be good with words, too!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 There is never a right time apparently. I did the rounds of my firends and colleagues when I was trying to figure out if I wanted children. I think it is only something you and your partner can decide. As someone else mentioned you cannot count on getting pregnant when you want to. I am still on the fence and am 10 years older than you! At the moment I don't want to have chilren so it is a different issue for us both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mundia Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi Nuteleywombat, I don't think Ive welcomed you before, so welcome to the forum. As Susan said, you don't know how long it might take to get pregnant and even if this was fairly immediate, you will have completed your NQT year. Most schools can accommodate someone wishing to work part time and are quite used to women taking maternity leave and then returning part time. It shouldnt make any differnce to your job prospects nor should it put off employers. Only you and your hubby can know if the time is right for you, so if it seems like the right time then it is, and your career will still be there should you want it to be later on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Well said Mundia - I was about to say the same! Even if you were to get pregnant before Easter you would still see out your year - health permitting. Don't leave it too long, if it's what your both want, or it could become an issue between you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest budgie1 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 When is a good time to take a baby break? When you have 1 years experience 2?.....3?......5?.....12?......Answers on a postcard please! Joking aside, I think finishing your NQT year is the most important thing, once you have that under your belt then you can always come back into teaching. We planned carefully when to have our children and once we got round to trying things didnt go to plan and it took nearly three years to get pregnant, colleagues of mine seemed only to have to be in the same room as their partner to get pregnant. I guess what I'm trying to say is babies dont seem to come to order and no one knows how long it will take so when you both feel ready go for it ....and enjoy trying!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wolfie Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Oooh, I'd say go with your heart, not your head on this one - if you feel that the time is right, go for it and don't worry abut your career, these things have a habit of sorting themselves out. I became pregnant just into my second year of teaching and never went back into a school again! You'll be surprised at all the other avenues open to you with an early years teaching qualification if you decide not to, or can't get back into, a school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 The point about the unpredictability of biology is a good one! Pete and I had been together forever, married four years when we decided to have a baby - she took another few years to decide to oblige!! - Son almost took us by surprise - given our record we thought we'd better make it two before we retired - Bingo! Sorry - FAR too much information! Oh, yes, and to echo budgie - enjoy trying Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 just wanted to wish you good luck in your decision Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Oh, yes, and to echo budgie - enjoy trying Ooh I say! Not going to talk too much about family planning here - my daughter may be reading! This is impossible to answer - but whatever you decide, I hope it all works out for you! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Ooh I say! Not going to talk too much about family planning here - my daughter may be reading! This is impossible to answer - but whatever you decide, I hope it all works out for you! Maz I'd have thought there was more than a maybe chance of your daughter reading this Maz!? and I of course meant you can not guarantee when you will become pregnant as isnt family planning all a myth? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'd have thought there was more than a maybe chance of your daughter reading this Maz!? Well she tells me she's getting more selective in what she reads these days! and I of course meant you can not guarantee when you will become pregnant as isnt family planning all a myth? This of course is the million dollar question, isn't it? It is ironic that after all the effort we put into not getting pregnant, when we actually want to it turns out (for some of us at least) that it is really quite difficult to get pregnant. Sometimes our bodies play cruel jokes on us and just refuse to obey orders. So maybe 'family planning' should really be called 'family estimating'... Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 LOL!! But very heartfelt agreement Sue x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I was also just wondering where else could someone post a request for advice/opinion on such an intimate and personal matter which is the flipside of having a professional career? We're lovely on this Forum, aren't we? nutleywombat I'm sorry to have hijacked your thread somewhat! Good luck with making your decision! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sienna Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Some excellent advice here already...just wanted to add that if it was me I would wait until I finish my NQT year and then go for it! I had my children very young, I was 17 when I had my eldest. I had my three boys by the age of 21. Well, I'm 31 now and would love to have baby number four (I never ever thought I would hear myself say that!) I'm on my final year of my BA Hons and hopefully next year I'll do PGCE, then do my NQT year...Like you I guess I'm holding back due to my career. Whatever you decide, I hope you are happy...babies are the most beautiful and precious gifts to be given. I'm worried now, this thread is making my clock tick loudly!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alison Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I just want to echo every one else in saying there is never a truely right moment there will always be a problem to consider but when ever you do decide on the moment then Im sure it will be right and youll work around what ever problems arise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 The advice "go with your heart" strikes a chord with me! Even if you fell pregnant straight away you'd be able to finish your year. My friend took 4 years to get pregnant with her first (at the end of her first year teaching) and then went on to have 3 in 3 years! She went back to teaching part-time after each and full time when they all started school. It doesn't seem to have held her back career wise. ALL of the parents I childmind for say they're better teachers now they are parents, too. It certainly changes your whole outlook! Wonder what the teachers here think? Good Luck, whatever you decide! Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorna Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 You have to do what you feel is best. As many have said once your NQT year is out of the way... then you could take a break. I thought after teaching for a couple of years I was ready for a family and it would happen quickly. Well 7+ years later it still hasn't happened... currently at the end of a long rollercoaster of IVF and hope that we will get what we really want. It never seemed like the right time to start treatment... but I finially had to decide to get on with it. Thankfully my head has been quite supportive... only a few days to go till I know. Good Luck with what ever you and your DH decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jester Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I can relate to this. I work as a teaching instructor and have done for almost 4 years and am looking to do a QTS assessment only route but I decided that at 28 and having been married nearly a year that I wanted to have a baby sooner rather than later. I might seem a bit stupid to have wanted to try for a baby at this point but I got to the point where I didn't want to wait, also my husband is a good few years older than me so that had an impact on our decision to try. I am now 34 weeks pregnant I will still do my QTS assessment only route only it will take me a little bit longer and will be more of a struggle but I didn't want to wait any longer as you don't know how long it will take (for me it only took 3 cycles and bam!) and why put your life on hold. Do what you feel is right, if you are starting to get those 'I really really want a baby' niggles in your head then don't fight them. You seem to be in a pretty secure position as it is (much more secure than me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Lorna, I really hope everything is good for you ((xx)) Sue PS - this is my 4th attempt to post this, computer is sulking, methinks!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Go for it. My first took 4 years, tests and fertility pills, whatever they were, eventually got pregnant the month I went on the Black Hole at Alton Towers, I always swear it was the 'G' forces that kicked something into place! Second was an accident, bless his little cotton socks. You never know how quickly or slowly things will be. And if it turns out to be quicker than you thought, things will find a way to right themselves. The post about having a baby opening new doors is right, my tutor, many moons ago, who used to be a secondary teacher, always wanted to work with adults, through having a baby and going to playgroup she finally made it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Hi I was wondering if I could get your thoughts about this. I am presently in the middle of my NQT year, which I am loving! I really like the school and feel very settled there. Before I started teaching I worked at a private Nursery for three years and did an Early Childhood Studies degree. So have experience of working in the early years. However, I am 27 years old and recently got married and would love to have a baby. I have already told my husband that we should wait to have a baby as he has really wanted to have one for awhile now, but I have got to the point where I am finding it hard to say lets wait, as I feel ready to have a baby too. The problem is that I have only just started teaching and am worried that by having a baby I may effect my teaching career. I would only want to go back to work part time, and am not sure my present school would accomadate this. I am also worried that employers may be put off due to this decision. It's so hard as I am constantly thinking about it, being around the children doesn't help either!! What do you think, should I put it off to get more experience? Any thoughts are welcome Go for it girl - if its right for you - the school must take you back part time its the law - you may find that you are given PPA time to cover but just think of all that experience you will be gaining teaching across the primary age range. But the time must be right for you and your partner - and good luck. I have to say it took me 5 years and 3 years to actually get pregnant - so I had lots of experience and was ready for a bit of family time - still a shock to the system though!! g xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest budgie1 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 "You have to do what you feel is best. As many have said once your NQT year is out of the way... then you could take a break. I thought after teaching for a couple of years I was ready for a family and it would happen quickly. Well 7+ years later it still hasn't happened... currently at the end of a long rollercoaster of IVF and hope that we will get what we really want. It never seemed like the right time to start treatment... but I finially had to decide to get on with it. Thankfully my head has been quite supportive... only a few days to go till I know." Oh Lorna, I have my fingers and toes crossed for you.Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Hi Thank you for all your lovely replies, you are all so supportive on this forum!!! I think that we will wait till Summer to start trying, then as some of you said at least I will have worked my NQT year. And as you say it may not happen straight away! My friend will be relieved as I am her bridesmaid in the summer and I think she was worried about me fitting into my dress !! Thanks again xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Oh forgot to say, I hope it it good news for you Lorna!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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