Funny Things Children Say

[Rea]

My 14 year old has just walked in from school

'Hi Rich, had a good day' I asked.

'Dunno' he mumbled, 'I didnt pay attention'

 

Gawd help us!

[Guest]

We did our concert today - the little boy who was playing a cow today decided he wanted to be a pig - in order to get him to put his costume on i had to pretend i had painted a pigs face on him rather than a cow - then when on stage he had to be the a cow who would take mary to bethlehem as the donkey was too tired - except the he refused to carry mary as he was a pig and pigs backs werent big enough to carry people so there they are these 2 children arguing this out on stage whilst parents are in tears laughing!! I didn't realise 4 year olds could be such divas!!!!!!!

[HappyMaz]

I have just had my last evening as a Brownie Guider, and the Brownies made me a scrap book with messages, photos etc. One Brownie wrote "I am sad you are living. I liked you."

 

Isn't children's handwriting wonderful?

 

Maz

[Verona]

Today I was explaining once again, the reason the children should carry their chairs "sensibly". One little boy, who now happens to be the oldest at Pre-school and goes into the "older childrens" group for part of the morning, started just pushing his chair across the floor. I said to him "Now you are one of the older children you could show the younger ones how to carry their chairs sensibly, couldn't you?" He gave me a big smile and very proudly showed them how to do it properly. Another, slightly younger boy just looked at me and said "I don't have to do that cos I'm not one of the older ones yet, am I?"

 

Sue J

[Jester]

Not school or pre school based but very cute.

 

At his mum and dad's wedding reception I asked my nephew who is 5 to go and ask the band to play a song called 'Galway Farmer' and so he run out to them and shouted very loudly 'Go away Father' luckily the members of the band are friends of ours so they thought it was very funny!

[Guest]

Lots of laugh

But hey get this.....

 

A child brought in a lovely wooden cat on wheels and when you pull it along its body curved like a snake action. it was lovely. It was part of treadsure bag time and whne the girl came up the adult asked her "What is it called?"

 

Girlfrowned looking at adult with her hands outs and replied "its a cat what do you think it is!" looking at the adult as if she was so thick I had to laugh (but when the child wasn't looking of course ) Ha ha

 

Kids are so honest and the answers they come out with are a joy to the job

[Guest MaryEMac]

On Friday we had all sat for a story and just before home time we talked about what day of the week it was and what day came next.Someone came up with Saturday and the children talked about not coming to playgroup on a weekend. One little girl said that it would be better to come to playgroup on a weekend and stay at home during the week. Funnily enough all the staff agreed with her.

 

Mary

[Beau]

Yesterday we had scones for snack at playgroup which led to the inevitable discussion by 2 staff members about how you should pronounce it. Does it rhyme with one or stone? The children picked up on this and they started trying to find other words that rhymed with stone. One of the staff members was giving the children clues to help them. "Something that is in your arm," which was met with blank looks. "What does a dog eat?" she tried again to which all the children shouted "Dog Food!" She asked for that one!

[Guest]

to add to the wedding theme, at a very good friends wedding they had the speeches before the meal, during a pause in the best mans speech my son (then 4) said in a very loud voice "I'm hungry when is he going to stop talking and get the food" it got the biggest laugh of the speeches. Luckily the food came not too long after.

Sal

[Guest]

Just befor xmas, my new-ish nursery nursery gave the children a little present.

 

One boy said 'Do you know Mrs Smith, I'm beginning to like you now!'

 

She asked did he not like her before he got the present, he replied 'No not really, but if you keep giving me presents then I'll think i might like you a little bit more!'

[Guest]

My Nursery nurse had asked the children to produce a detailed picture of themself and spent quite a while modelling what they should do (face, arms, body, hair etc) When I wandered over one little boy announced he was just getting the pink to paint his "tadger" onto his picture. Well she did ask for detail....

[Guest]

Friday afternoon , two girls in the tent

A scream went up, we rushed to the tent

One little girl had bitten the other. After we had calmed the little girl down We asked the other girl why she had bitten her

"I thought she was a cucumber" she said

Well she did have a green jumber on !

[Guest]

We've been fund raising during a maths curriculum week. Baking gingerbread men each day with the help of volunteer parents and donated ingredients plus of course many expert young cooks. We were discussing the daily cooking totals on the way back from the ICT suite today. When I told them that we'd managed to bake and sell 126 men yesterday one of my maths whizzes said: 'Wow, that's even older than my grandma, she's 102" I said we'll have to make her a card to let her know how young she is.

 

AOB

[Guest]

A Reception child came in and announced he had used his phonics at the swimming pool yesterday... it said 'sexy beast' in the changing rooms!! Well done Letters and sounds!!!

[Guest]

Many years ago a friend of mine sent her young daughter intothe next cubicle to her in the town hall ladies toilets while she struggle in the next one with the baby.TThe daughter had just begun to click with sounding out and the daughter started shouted out loudly "MUMMY....do you have a s-x-u-a-l-y tr-a-n-s-m-it-ed d-i-se-as-e cause theres a phone number for you".

My friend said she's never pulled up her pants so fast trying to get to her before the sounding out and saying back happened.

[Guest]

One of my boys at lunchtime the other day said "is this bread orGRANic!"!!!

 

Special bread for pensioners!! Great idea.

[Guest]

Just started on our new theme of Pets today. Our first pet visitor came this afternoon and the children did a great job of finding out information by asking questions. Funniest of the day was 'why does your dog have a little hole at the end of his body' The colleague with the dog just wasn't expecting that, so I decided it was ball in your court time. I said well I think all animals need a little hole like that, I wonder if anyone can help answer that question. A very matter of fact 'so that they can pooh' came back from one of the crowd!

 

AOB

[beth1]

At the trafford centre on our way out there was 2 children, a girl and boy. They were at one of the entrances looking at the loins. The girl was looking at the lions 'balls' and said 'ooh what are theses?' the boy replied 'I have some of them too'. That made a few people chuckle quietly.

 

 

Beth

[Annie-pops]

Feeling a bit depressed today!!

A little girl was experimenting with a hula-hoop today, seeing if she could spin it round her waist! She stepped out of it and declared that it was too difficult!

I said "Shall I have a go?"

She seemed amused by the idea and passed me the hoop. I stepped into it and had a rather unsuccessful go. I lifted the hoop to try again and said "I think you're right, it is very difficult, I don't think I can do it!"

A little voice replied " Is it because you're too fat!!??"

I came home and got straight on the scales!!

[Guest]

not work but home.

 

We recently took our 4 foster children on holiday to Tenerife. Our first time away with them so on outings I walked in front, hubby at the rear so no-one got lost!

 

anyway we were off for a day at Aqualand, I got on the coach, then the 5 yr old, 11 & 13 yr olds, then our 9 yr old ( very small for age and cute), His name's Connor.

 

On the coach, Connor came to sit next to me, then hubby went to sit next to 5 yr old,

Connor got up and asked very loudly "Dave do you want to sit next to your darling?" to which hubby replied yes, he'd love to, and sat with me.

A light refreshment on a very hot, crowded coach, everyone smiled and a few aah's resounded.

 

I'm just happy hubby sat next to me (his darling) and not next to the bronzed German godess in the seat opposite.

 

Peggy

[shazzam]

i had to smile today!

i took a little girl down to the toilet today, previously she needed (or expected) lots of help. today she was confident to do most by herself so i praised her lots telling her she is getting a big girl and how grown up she's becoming etc she then said 'yes i'm getting a big bottom just like my mummy' i really wanted to tell mummy! but couldn't didn't think she'd take it too well!!

[Lyanne]

We had a visit today from the community police (first time they've come to us but I thinkit went down well. Should be better next time when we all know more what to expect), so had group snack instead of our usual rolling snack bar.

 

We have cheese & crackers this week so 1 teacher offered the tub of cut up cheese to Boy age 4½, who took 4 pieces and wanted more, teacher said he couldn't have anymore right now as the other children wanted some. He wanted it all.

 

Another child had her snack, then, when all the children where ready to go outside said she wanted more. I asked her if she could wait till tomorrow for more as it was garden time, and she was fine and ran off to get her hat. (If she'd said she wanted it, she could have had some & stayed in with me & a few others finishing up thier snack.)

 

Boy says loudly, 'No they won't let you have anymore! They just want us to starve to death!'

 

We will miss him when he goes to Reception in September, honest!

[Guest]

Oh I just love all of these!!

 

I've sat and scanned all 12 pages... should go to bed now really ... but I just found them SO funny!!

 

Here's one of mine to add to the masses (rather rude I'm afraid, but that's kids for you!)

 

I was in a mixed reception/year 1 class on placement a few years ago, and the children were getting changed for PE. I was doing my usual rounds when I heard two children having a very animated discussion...:

 

"my dad's willy is this big"

"Well MY dad's willy is THIS big!"

"My dad's willy is so big it sticks out of the bath!"

And so on...

 

Love it! I decided not to alert the dads in question of this one... :-)

 

It's things like this that just make the whole job worthwhile!!

 

xxx

Edited July 8, 2008 by Guest

[Guest]

In the class I'm working in at the minute, we were writing a story as a class. One of the children has such a great little imagination and was full of ideas but was stealing the show. We suggested that he gave somebody else a turn. While the other child was talking, he jumped in an said 'well I know where your going with this but....' - Obviously been listening to the class teacher too much haha! Bless him!

[Guest]

Here is an example of childrens logic thought.

 

My 5 yr old had her first tooth come out about 2 months ago, now she has another wobbly tooth, which she is eager to lose,(tooth fairy and all that ).

I said it would be a while yet before it's ready to come out, as it's not very wobbly. About 15 minutes later she said to me,

"Mum, this is the first time I've never had my next tooth come out" Makes sense to me (I think)

 

Peggy

[Guest]

And some more logical thinking child style........................

 

When my daughter (who is now 20) was little she asked me to "put the dark light on" when I put her to bed. What she actually meant was for me to turn the landing light off!!!!

[Guest]

If there is anyone else from Yorkshire out there, I think you will appreciate this!

 

A little girl and a little boy were playing together with some figures. The little girl said "you're my best friend" to which the little boy replied "You're my best cocker".

 

Made me laugh! :-)

[Guest]

My foster daughters logic again.......

I'm in a charity shop paying for a gift for my mums birthday when my daughter (age 5) says sweetly "I do love you mum", I look at her and reply, "Ah, that's nice, thank you"...then a pause....then she said "Do you know what I'm after?"

 

So her logic says, show love, care and attention and I get what I'm after. (by the way she didn't )

 

Peggy

 

I know many children have learnt this ploy, but for me it was extra special because 1/ she called me mum & 2/ she said she loves me ( all be it for an alterior(spl) motive)

[Guest]

The clocks had just turned back in the Autumn and my 3 year old and I were walking back from the shop and taking the short cut through the local church at dusk.As we approached the building we triggered the newly erected security light.

 

MUMMY ITS GOD!! she shouted and grapped me every tightly. I'd jumped myself to be suddenly flooded in light and knew exactly what she meant!

 

 

it was about the same time as she drew 'measles' on her baby sister's face with a permanent black marker pen so she wasn't that much of an angel!! took a week to get off!

[Guest]

A little 3 year old girl I cared for was decorating a cut out shape of a rabbit

She asked if she could have some eyes for him and after discussion about what sort of eyes opted for those round sticky on wobbly one s you get in packs

After carefully attaching these she asked for another eye to use as a nose -ok fine no problem there and this was duly attached

 

then she requested two more eyes ,when I asked what these were going to be used for she pointed her finger up her nose and said

 

"these things under his nose -his snotrils!!!!!!!!!!"