Thumper Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 A child joined us about 3 weeks ago. Has been to another setting for a year prior to joining us. The child will not pull down or up pants or trousers flatly refuses. Other setting said just did this for child and mum does the same. I'm encouraging child to do own clothing and know child can do clothing when dressing dolls etc. The other day I used child's guiding it to help pull up pants.....after which child pulled them back down and said no you do it! Clearly child can do pants and trousers but refuses. Child is very stubborn. Joins in with everything else really well. I've tried rewards, other children encouraging, other staff taking, encouraged.... I'm hoping one of you lovely practitioners have come across this before and can suggest a way forward? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 tell them the rules are that they need to do it...it's not you it's the rules!! ...is he toilet trained? if so can you let him get on with it....so if you want to do a wee you need to pull your trousers down...kind of thing?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumper Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 Tried it's the rules, all the other children can do it. She is fully toilet trained. Says a need the toilet then just waits for someone to go. If you don't walk that way with her she just goes on and eventually returns to playing. I've tried helping to pull clothes down but not pull them back up but it seems she's happy to just stay in the loo with everything around her ankles. Will sit and usually does huge wee once on loo. Other setting say they just did it all for her..... It's not a challenge I've had before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo43 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Ask the parents to encourage dressing and undressing when using the toilet at home. Hopefully this will lead them to want to do it themselves at preschool. If they use the toilets at the same time as others praise the other children for their independence. You could be a little bit sneaky and ask another staff member to call you away to see when left for a moment if they would forget their stubbornness! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 (edited) How old is she? If still quite young I would probably just help her and so avoid it being a 'big deal':) Edited May 4, 2016 by sunnyday 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumper Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 She's 48 months. Mum says won't dress or undress at home either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Ah that's a different matter then, school this year..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 what happens if you refuse...will she wet herself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumper Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 She seems to have unbelievable bladder control. If we ignore she eventually returns to activities and occasionally mentions she needs a wee. I've requested help from our local inclusion team but as of yet have not heard from them. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo43 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Knowing her age I think It's just a control thing. Treat it like a behaviour issue. Don't give her any attention just take her to the toilet help her in complete silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 She seems to have unbelievable bladder control. If we ignore she eventually returns to activities and occasionally mentions she needs a wee. I've requested help from our local inclusion team but as of yet have not heard from them. I have had one like this ...we just had to wait until she was desperate ...then went with little fuss...once she had done it once it may no longer be a problem!....maybe worth a try???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stargrower Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Knowing her age I think It's just a control thing. Treat it like a behaviour issue. Don't give her any attention just take her to the toilet help her in complete silence. Totally agree with this. I would help her, but give no attention. No talking, no eye contact, never mention it, don't let her hear you discuss it with other staff or parents. In the great scheme of things, it's such a small thing, but she has learned to gain lots of control by doing it. If you have no other concerns about her, I would totally play it down and see if she gives up. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyPancakes Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 I've got a bit of a thing like this happening and it's because she's had accidents caused by skirts not being totally kept out of the way - she's had disappointment shown because of it. Boys have it easy - trousers, pants done, but so often girls have tights and long dangly skirts that are really hard to manage and easy to get wrong. In my children's clothing designs in my head, girls wear skorts or leggings with a nod to a skirt attached. I could bore for Australia and England about girls' clothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Oh dear - think it's one of those scenarios when unless parents are singing from the same hymn sheet you are on a hiding to nowhere!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melba Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 Presumably the school will not help her though. Which might mean the mum has to go in to help in the toilet. That might motivate her to make more effort now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 I despair sometimes!??? This is a new one on me. Again if there are no SEN/health issues it seems to be a control thing and parents need to get on board with this! Consistency between home and setting very important. Ask for easy to pull up pants and leggings/pants and skirt (tights a nightmare!!) I would ignore, wait until she needs to go to the toilet, leave her to it..will she come out of the toilet into the room to ask for help? How long would she wait for someone to help her? Or ignore it and do it for a while and see what happens. Lots of praise to others doing it for themself and when she does it herself. At our setting (3yrs +) children access the toilet independently. They ask to go and of course those training we remind/take and encourage doing it all by themself asap from the word go with lots of encouragement. We are of course aware of how long a child has been in the toilet and keep checking that they are ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumper Posted May 6, 2016 Author Share Posted May 6, 2016 Ive got inclusion officer coming on Tuesday will see what she thinks. All are other potty trained children take themselves off to the toilet no problems. We do send all children to the toilet twice during the morning session, so was hoping she would just join in ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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