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Negative attitudes


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We have a few parents who have a very negative attitude to their children this year.

One who puts down any achievement of their child (SEN so tiny steps but significant to him) and another who is constantly looking for something wrong with either her children or with everyone around her. In the past few months her son has had a possible heart defect, ADHD and now issues with his legs and feet which may need an operation. We see no issues with him at all except being very young and new to us.

We are constantly trying to put forward a positive opinion but nothing seems to make much difference.

Any ideas?

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Melba I have similar.

I attempted an early help assessment (caf in new disguise) in order to get some more help but mum has turned it down. I seriously am seeing munchausen (sorry bout spelling)

I am documenting all conversations and am asking for letters from doctors with diagnosis. Have also been trying to contact health visitor.

It is really scary all the tests & scans etc the children are being put through. And some of it is believable.

Good Luck let me know how you get on.

Mum with Sen is there any parent classes on child development or could you run something to help. Perhaps within a group she may get to understand how to be more positive.

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I'm afraid there will always be parents like this. A year or two back I collared a Dad to ask why he hadn't come to his child's progress review and he said 'I know he's thick, I don't need you telling me that'. I was floored! His child was actually very bright, and I was excited to share some of the incredible moments with him. He never wrote in the home diary and the child was often brought in in a rush so Dad could escape quickly.

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Thanks for at least making me feel it isn't just us!

 

LKeyteach, local Children's centre tried to sign her up for parenting course. At first she agreed and then had a fit when the course organisers contacted her.

It does feel like Munchausens by Proxy with both of them I have to say.

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You could contact your local Children's Centre and see if they have any relevant courses, the Solihull course in my locality might be of benefit.

To be honest though I think the best approach is just to challenge everything negative that they say. Make sure you big up everything and explain how important positivity is, relating their positive experiences to any relevant child developmen tif possible. Explain how much of an impact on their children all that negativity is having - give them an anology like how they would feel if their boss at work continually picked up on every little thing they did wrong and never once gave them a compliment or a thank you. Don't be afraid to hurt a parent's feelings or they will never learn, and in my eyes, the children come first every single time :)

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It sounds like one of my previous parents, I used to phone HV everytime she said they had been to hospital Etc, as I couldn't believe Her, family already had mast involved. Play sessions, meetings, constant phone calls and so on. But all she wanted was something to be wrong with her child, no positives were ever said from mum I suggested munchausen by proxy syndrome to mast and HV, nothing got said! One year later new mast worker phones up to get history as its happening at school still and she suggests possible munchausen!!! Oh guess now they've suggessted it then it's going to be taken on board grrrrrrrrr.

Anyway all I decided I could do was carry on being mums regulator as that is what we are to most, for the parent to regulate themselves they need someone most days to listen and its blinking time consuming and draining but if supporting parents emotional state supports child then at least I was doing something. Everything else didn't work, parenting classes turned down, talking straight to her (Id built up that much of a relationship that it was easy to do) head - brick wall and breath !

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