Adice needed re:social services

[Rea]

A lady I know 'B' has asked for advice and I thought I'd come here. Bs partners ex has said she doesn't want their 11 yr old daughter and will take her to social services if B and partner won't have her. B already has a 3 yr old girl and 6 yr old boy sharing a bedroom, they have nowhere for the 11 yr old to sleep but they don't want her to go into care. I don't have any other details but B wants to know what will happen when/if the mom goes to SS. Does anyone have any idea? I've told her SS won't just say ok hand her over, they'd work with the mom, but would they? Would they see a child living in a family hat doesn't want her and think she'd be better off out of it?

Edited May 12, 2014 by Rea

[Cait]

I have no idea, but couldn't read and run. How awful for that girl knowing she isn't wanted, especially right when puberty is kicking in and everything seems much darker anyway. What on earth sort of damage will it have for her self esteem!

What a situation!

[Guest Spiral]

From experience, the pot is usually a lot cloudier than first expected (sorry, its early and my brain is at early morning mode).

 

I would imagine ss would ask why and try to ascertain what the real reasons are underneath. The would usually take the child's opinion into account too as well as looking at extended family for support and considering whether a CAF would help.

 

Basically, why is the mum being so hurtful to the child, is the child safe and could care be shared? My first thought is around the childs safety and her needs.

She could make an anonymous call to social services and run through the situation, they will ask for her name, but she can withhold it.

Good luck, spiral

[Rea]

Thanks ladies, I only know B very loosely so didnt want to advise without comments, I'll tell her to call SS, she said mom doesn't just want rid, she says she hates her and isn't worried about saying loud and clear. Makes you wonder what goes on in peoples minds doesn't it?

[Guest Spiral]

Terrible shame, but its certainly best to get it sorted out now before any further damage is done to the child x

[sunnyday]

Oh Rea - what a sad, sad situation - that poor little girl......

I suppose we don't even know if 'B' is telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth........things can get extremely complicated in these 'split' families - particularly when new partners become involved......

Really hope that all parties remember that at the centre of all this is a 12 year old child.......

[Upsy Daisy]

Based on my limited experience, SS will send someone out to assess what is going on in the family. They will speak to the child on her own and any other family members they think appropriate. As part of this they will decide whether the child is at risk or in need.

They will then decide if the family should be passed on to a social worker for further support or assessment. There has to be a good reason and something they can do to help for that to happen.

Unless the child is at immediate risk of serious harm, all their efforts will be directed at keeping the family together. If they feel that the child should be in foster care they will look to family first.

If they end up paying a foster carer the parents may be asked to make a financial contribution towards those costs.

What a horrible situation for this child and family to be in. I hope they find a good resolution soon.

[Rea]

Thanks Upsy, I'll copy and paste that to her, it'll give her something to work with. :1b

 

Sunnyday, I'm not sure everything is as its told. I've heard things about B that could make me question the drama of this, but if its genuine, I can only hope it all works out in the girls best interests.