Warring parents

[amarrian]

Scenario: mother declares that her child must have no contact with its father. Subsequently, father pitches up demanding contact. What is the school's responsibility or obligation? I see some difficulty in denying access to a parent, on the say-so of the other parent, without some legal paperwork or instruction. Does anyone have any experience of such a situation?

[finleysmaid]

there have been discussions about this before (try a search). You cannot deny a parent access unless you have legal paperwork in place. When the children start we have parental responsibility on the registration. If they say X can't have access we will ask for the paperwork then...i make it quite clear that without this then we are unable to refuse.

[Rea]

Warring parents is never good is it?

I'm a bit hazy on this these days but my understanding is without legal paperwork you cant stop either parent from taking the child.

If a child is born after Dec 2003 dad has automatic parental responsibility, previously unmarried parents only mom had automatic PR, if they're married both have it anyway.

A court order must be in place to deny either parent access not just parents say so.

If I were you I'd speak to the mom, explain the legalities of the situation and then try to engage her in a conversation asking why dad cant access and then try to move it forward, help her to see the Its always the children who lose out never the parents.

[catma]

Basically unless there is a court order in place, a school can do little on the whim of one of them. You say what can the school do so assuming you are one I would refer all matters to the HT or person with responsibility for safeguarding. There should be a school policy anyway!

Cx

[Guest]

We always explain to the parent that without legal paperwork we couldn't stop the dad or mum but, if he or she is unknown to us we would use this as a reason to contact the parent we do know because we would not let a child go with someone we do not know without prior permission from the parent we usually see.

 

That is in our safety policy!!

 

Does any of that make sense?!!!

[amarrian]

Thanks all - that is very wise advice and has helped to clear my mind

[emasi8624]

This was a big issue in the setting I used to manage, therefore when I started my own setting I created a policy relating to separated families, Please find this attached. I hope it is useful.

Separated Families.docx

[thumperrabbit]

This was a big issue in the setting I used to manage, therefore when I started my own setting I created a policy relating to separated families, Please find this attached. I hope it is useful.

Thank you for sharing your policy, I've found it very informative.

[wellerkaren]

Thank you for sharing, I hvae a child in a simular situation and this will help me no end .

[Guest]

Hi, can someone just confirm for me. Unmarried parents - does the father have parental responsibility?

Can Mum say Dad cant pick up if they aren't married? ( both named on birth certificate)

We currently have this situation and I would like to be clear of the legalities if the need arises.

Thanks

[SueJ]

This link may help you out:

 

http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/fathers-rights-and-law/unmarried-fathers-rights

 

As others have said most Dads are now on children's birth certificates and therefore have parental responsibility. As such only a court order can change this.

 

Note however if you have parents who are seeking a court order suggest that it is time and locations specific e.g., XXX may not drop off/collect child from XXX early years setting. Or if necessary order should specify who can e.g, only XXX and his/her named representatives may drop off/collect child from XXX early years setting. Having had to call the police out during one episode when separated parents were sending new partners in to "test" an existing court order we have learned the hard way!

[Guest]

Thanks for this Sue - appreciate all the info.

J

[twinthinguk]

just found this post, thanks so much for sharing this, we have a rather nasty situation going on at the moment.