narnia Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Time to get on with those written tasks now!! ( and don't forget, your specialist nurse is there to answer all those questions, so don't worry about phoning her, I promise she won't mind!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgirl Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Oh my goodness. I don't know you but everything you have said is exactly what I would feel in your situation. If you can treat triumph and disaster just the same, then, my son, you'll be a man. But sometimes, life stinks, doesn't it. Xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 More thanks for the replies It's good to be able to say exactly how I feel without worrying about adding to family or friends own worries! I am feeling upbeat today. It's not long till Tuesday and then I will know what this battle is going to be about. I am taking inspiration from Narnia (thank you) I MAY HAVE CANCER BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE ME. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froglet Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Just wanted to add my best wishes and good, positive thoughts to the list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbury Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Just wanted to add my best wishes to you. Keeping everything crossed for Tuesday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parish Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Wishing you well and adding my positive thoughts too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 That's the spirit Scarlettangel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Well I may have felt upbeat earlier but just had the most enormous cry and scream here at home. I went on the cancer research web site to find that NICE guidelines for GPs state urgent referral is needed for suspected cancer when patient presents with lump on the neck that has changed size. Even when I saw my GP about the lump growing I was not referred. That was last May. I may have even mentioned it earlier to another GP in the Feb/ March time that I thought it was growing. I am now overwhelmingly terrified to go in for my results and so ANGRY at my GP I could cheerfully do someone some damge. Feeling calmer now after the cry though. xxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I would think that's an entirely understandable reaction! Crying and screaming are a great way to release stress hormones, which you really don't want to try and bottle up.... truly better out than in! Please try to focus on the where now? and what next? Save your energy for the days ahead instead of looking back.... yes, it's wrong that you weren't referred earlier but it happened and you're going to need all your focus and strength for what's still to happen...... when you're better you can tackle what led you to the place you're in now. Big hugs and lots of love Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Bless you .....more hugs are winging their way to you xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I have been thinking about my dear neice and her brush with cancer and wondering whether it would be helpful to share her story with you....... At the age of just nine years she developed a huge lump on her forearm - this grew very, very quickly - she had just had a riding accident (fall from horse) and so to start with everyone (including docs) assumed that it was associated with her accident..........time wore on and despite numerous medical appointments - GP and hospital - nobody seemed to take it seriously - "it's a cyst", "it's a haemotoma" (Sp?) - by the time she had her first op to remove it the lump was the size of a golf ball.......we could then watch it growing again under dressing........obviously, long story short - it was cancerous........what awful dark days they were.......she had a further op with more tissue taken away - but she required no further treatment at all - just regular checks...... She is 30 this year and a wonderfully healthy young lady....... Really hope that this positive story (well in the end) is of some comfort xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Thank you for the inspirational story sunnyday. I know in my head it's over reaction before knowing for sure what I have to worry about, but I can't seem to control the thoughts. Sense will kick in soon I am sure. Stories like the one you shared sunnyday remind us all that life does go on after cancer for lots of people. It's not an end just another battle to fight. Thank you x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocisgood Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Sending loads of positive vibes. Will be thinking about you on Tues. Take a list of questions incase your mind goes blank? Big hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 It's NOT the end.....................in some ways, it's a beginning. This is a new stage in your life and you will find reserves of strength you never knew existed, I promise. Crying, screaming and shouting are all perfectly normal reactions, after all, this invader is taking over your life, for now. You are in the hands of medics all of them strangers whom you have to trust and who have your life in their hands, and it is damned scarey. I had nightmares for several days and had to ask for some help to get a decent night's sleep. Many people think cancer is a death sentence. In my experience, it certainly isn't and I'm not going to let it have me, I have far too much to do yet. So do you...........honours; EYPS, grandchildren; holidays, crazy days and happy days. There WILL be tough days too, it's not going to be easy, but I promise.............I promise, there will come a time when you will have days, then weeks, then months where cancer is something you don't think about at all. Here if you need me x 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jayr Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Just to tell you that I have read your post and my heart goes out to you and your family. Keep think possitive Scarlettangel All the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Some excellent advice, nothing to add but my very best wishes for a happy outcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 I slept for 3 hours and since I woke I cannot seem to get ugly thoughts out of my head Feeling sick and sad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Oh Scartlettangel, you are going to go through a rollercoaster of emotions and rightly so, please try to rest, Tuesday will hopefully tell you all you need to know so that you and your family together can fight this ghastly C.......with the contempt it truly deserves. Sending love and hugs to you all. B X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 and this is normal............................and this will pass.................. once you know exactly what you are dealing with in terms of treatment, you will be more able to deal with it all. Right now, it's Jack Nicholson hiding behind the door with that axe; it's Dracula hiding in your wardrobe; it's all the horrors of the world, because all you have right now is that horrid word,Cancer. On Tuesday, whatever the news, you will know who and what you are fighting, the doctors and nurses are in your corner with you and you will be able to give it a damned good punch on the nose. Right now, if you can't sleep, ask your doctor for some help, you need to be rested, ready to tackle things head on. xxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 The waiting is always the worst Scarlettangel, its when we fill ourselves full of the 'what if's...'. Like Narnia say's, after Tuesday you'll be on a firmer footing and have a direction. Be it good or bad at least you'll know what's next. Sending hugs ((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenfinch Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I just wanted to add my own support and send another virtual hug! We are all thinking about and sending positive thoughts xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 I keep saying thank you and it's not really enough to make you all know how much I appreciate the opportunity to say what I feel here without fear of embarrassment or you thinking I am stupid and daft with my tears and fears. Today I am somewhere in the middle of my emotions. Not up or down just teetering on the edge of an abyss. I went to see my Mum at the cometary (as per usual on a Sunday morning) and I asked her to look out for me. She sent me 3 squirrels in reply! Now this probably sounds mental to you all, but my son was 7 when my Mum died and when we went to the cemetery he always felt better if he saw a squirrel because he said his nan sent them to show she was there and listening. Tuesday is coming and my future will be clearer after that. Tomorrow I have packed the day with things to do and friends to see in the vain hope that Tuesday arrives quicker! I'll be back I am sure, for now though I am off to finish that pesky EYPS work! X x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I know without a shadow of a doubt that no-one on here would think you daft or stupid for being scared. Your squirrels are the equivalent of my mom seeing a robin, if it gives you peace then its not at all mental. We all use what we can to help us through life and I'm sure some of us have got weirder things than squirrels helping us out 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hello Kitty Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Hi, not really any extra advice to offer except to say that PMA has been proven to be a factor in overcoming cancer so keep those positive thoughts going my love. To help you with that, I worked with a lady (well, a teen at the time) and she had exactly the same cancer as you have - that was in 1988. She did have a second tumour removed a few years later from the same place BUT she is definitely alive and well Keep focussed on that EYPS and KNOW you will beat this. Lots of positive vibes coming your way x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 Thank you hello kitty and Rea for recent replies. I am in bed with my head full of nasty possibilities. I hope to get some sleep tonight, got a full busy distracting day tomorrow x x x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickylear Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Dear Scarlettangel, thinking of you, my friend who is a specialist cancer nurse says that low grade means it's been caught early and can be treated and cured, she says that cysts can change and become cancerous and it's best to have them removed. So you're half way there already. I had a cyst in my neck that grew around to my skull....I to had nerve damage but it repaied itself. Fingers crossed that yours will too. Sending you lots of love and hugs, Nicky xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Squirrels? Not daft at all.....................we all have our own personal 'guardian angels', yours just happen to have bushy tales and like nuts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 And I only sent you the nicest, cutest red squirrel. Massive hugs and best wishes from me and do contact MacMillan support.....they are not just there to help people at the end of their fight but at the beginning too. Sue x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 You know what click here Just to be sure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Sue that's the first big real smile I seem to have smiled for a few days!!! Thank you very much x 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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