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Fed Up-roll On End Of Term!


Edlee
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Hi,

Advice please!

 

I have an on-going issue with a parent whose son has challenging behaviour but she just thinks he is 'a busy boy'. Finally they agreed to an IEP. Things going much better since then. Thought all was well.

But.... a parent helper (who has signed a confidentiality agreement so shouldn't have done this) has told her about 2 occasions where she felt I was 'un-necessarily harsh' with her son. One was a 'telling off' at carpet time. The other (which I vividly remember as it is the only time I have ever done it) was when he had to sit out of his playing for 2 minutes on a chair (part of his IEP) because he wasn't being kind to friends. Then (nightmare) I got called to deal with something in the next door room and....forgot about him!!!.

 

Bless him, he sat there for 15 minutes. The parent helper was then in charge of that room (they are part of our ratio) but didn't remind me. When I came back in I gasped , as you would, and apologized profusely to the boy, reiterated that it was my mistake, silly forgetful me, what a good boy for sitting there so well etc., come on let's go and play. The boy was fine about it.

All happened a few weeks ago but parent helper is now stirring things because her son(also challenging behaviour/special needs) has been very physical lately and getting negative feedback from us to parents.

 

These are the only 2 parents who have ever had a problem with me and I feel like they are ganging up against me! Both have been to the chairperson to complain. Chair is very supportive of me and knows the problem is with these parents who both have poor parenting skills (let their children control them)

 

Of course I am sorry about forgetting the boy in 'time out' but I feel that was a genuine human mistake. She says I should have told her about it but to be honest it wasn't a big deal at the time and Mum didn't collect them that day and I am just so busy all the time that I forgot! Is that so bad?

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First I'd get the committee to have a serious chat with the helper who talked reminding them of confidentiality. Its a dreadful thing to do and she should be helped to understand that.

Apologise again to the parent and then her the parent the official complaint procedure and let her get on with it.

Dont feel bad about it, I'm sure we've all forgotten someone at one time or another, I left a girl in the loo far longer than nature would need her to be there! She didnt call out or anything, bless her.

 

End of term's not far off :o

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Definitely need the committee to have words with the parent helper... about breaking confidentiality , it really needs to be stressed the importance of this.

 

and also not bringing something they noticed to your attention.. I would have expected her to remind me about the child I had overlooked...

 

and we have all done it..more than once most vivid memory was I left her in the toilet , got caught up with other children... took another child to ask where her friend was to remind me.. child was happily singing away waiting for me... and no I did not tell parent..

 

actually think what you are doing to help the child must be working if he sat for 15 mins... a positive from the 'guilt' we all feel at sometime about something, on reflection, we could do better.

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These things have a way of blowing over in time, but feel dreadful in the short term. Count down the weeks and by the time the new term starts your confidence will have returned. There might be other crud next year, but it will be different crud.

 

Deep breath, Very best of luck,

 

Honey

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I def think the parent helper needs strong words. She has signed an agreement and it needs dealt with!!!! A staff member would be facing disciplinary over this!!!

 

The rest will wash over I am sure with time

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Agree that the parent helper needs dealing with.

 

I shut a child in the shed once! Not on purpose I hasten to add!!! He asked for something and I didn't realise he followed me in, luckily I worked out quite quickly what had happened and no harm was done so don't feel too bad!

 

Just a thought, something I was asked to do 14 years ago now when my son was in year r, could the parent 'hide' somewhere in the setting and observe her child's behaviour to help her understand the issues your facing? It helped me realise that my boy was no angel at school!!!!

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