How Do I Tone Down My Voice?

[Guest terrydoo73]

I have been told by my staff member that I need to tone down my voice ie I am too loud with children. How can I do this comfortably? I need strategies on how I myself personally can review what I am saying to children, how it is being said in such a way that they pay attention and listen to me without me getting annoyed and possibly going over the top in voice tone? I hope you understand what I mean but I have been pulled up about this a few times and feel now like I am in the principals office when I hear the word "we need to talk about how you deal with x!".

 

By the way I am the leader and the staff member is my deputy!!

[finleysmaid]

cor that deputy of yours does like to tell you what to do do you think your tone is too harsh? if so try to whisper for a while ...it has an amazing effect on children sometimes makes them really listen...if you are too loud then the information will sometimes get lost! also try singing an instruction or information ...make it fun and playful. try recording yourself and see if you think the deputy is correct...how does she do it? can you learn from her or is she just trying to put you down?

also i would always try to go to the child to give information and get down to their level rather than pass info across a room.

Just as a matter of interest have you questioned any of your deputies reactions yet? perhaps you need to examine her practice for good and 'bad' techniques

[mps09]

Well done you for addressing this whether you agree or not!

 

I am a bit the same - and often the children think I'm telling them off when I ask a question, even if I'm not!

 

I get on well with my colleagues and they do give me a gentle ... ssshhhhhh.... when I'm getting a bit loud.

 

I like the advice of not talking across the room, would be worth a try.

 

I wouldn't worry too much though, you don't want to become too self-conscious about working with children

 

Good luck - I look forward to reading other responses,

 

:wacko:

[Guest]

Well done you for addressing this whether you agree or not!

 

I am a bit the same - and often the children think I'm telling them off when I ask a question, even if I'm not!

 

I get on well with my colleagues and they do give me a gentle ... ssshhhhhh.... when I'm getting a bit loud.

 

I like the advice of not talking across the room, would be worth a try.

 

I wouldn't worry too much though, you don't want to become too self-conscious about working with children

 

Good luck - I look forward to reading other responses,

 

:wacko:

we have strategies whether it is children or staff on' raising their voices' ... 'we make a sign and say 'your voice/s is/are this big' (opening our hands out really wide) let's make it 'this big' - we bring our hands closer

[mundia]

Hi terrydoo73, one way of seeing how you respond to you children is to video yourself (or get a colleague to) in action. Although scary to begin with, it will show if you are too loud, and will also show how they respond. Sometimes seeing it for yourself has a much greater impact than someone telling you about it.

 

In time it will also give you something to look back over to see how you improve things over time.

[Fredbear]

Definetly agree with all the advice already, ask your Deputy to model it for you if she is so proficient in this role, but remember you are the Manager of your setting and from some of your previous posts i suggest you remind her of that.

The last thing you need is someone undermining you at every turn.

Its all new still so its possible you are all finding your feet good luck.

[Guest]

Hi, I have done quite a bit of voice training over the years, and what you need to do is make sure you breathe, and that you use your diaphragm voice rather than your neck voice. Do a google search for 'voice training' and 'teachers' and you will find some good sites - voicecare network is good.

 

Also, have a mental image in your mind of a stereo, and imagine turning down the volume button until it is almost too quiet.

 

Often, tension can cause a high pitch, which is mistaken for a loud volume. Aim to deepen your voice, imagine it coming from lower down in your body.

 

Also, aim to add lots of tone - to sound sad, surprised, happy, disappointed.

 

Good luck and well done for being willing to be aware of the issue.

[Guest]

I have to say that unless the children are appearing frightened, jumping out their skin and/or recoiling from you when you speak what is the problem? I'm a naturally loud person, everything I say to my class unless I make a real consious effort is full volume. Yes it results in a noisier class but they're perfectly happy and so am I. They know when I'm cross because I drop my voice quiet and low!

 

What are your deputy's reasons for saying this? I think she needs to give you a full explanation and evidence that it's not a good thing before you take it too much to heart, it does sound a little like she is picking holes to undermine you to some extent.

Edited March 15, 2011 by Guest

[sienna]

Good luck with that . I was recently told on placement that my voice was too quiet. I nearly died of shock. I always thought my voice was loud enough, especially after being recorded and watching it back.

[Guest terrydoo73]

I think she might be correct in some respects but yes I did feel undermined a little - it has happened quite a few times over the past few weeks! One little boy did "jump out of his skin" but as my deputy explained - he was nearly falling asleep sitting at the table just before this incident anyway.

 

We have a little difficulty with one particular child who is extremely excitable but she is the youngest - she just has to get to the bathroom before everyone else and will run, jump, skip etc to be there. Then she pushes all the older children out of the way to get to the sink they are already at. I feel it is all about settling in and reinforcing the principles of no pushing, no running, showing consideration for others etc will take time. I know probably the best method is to say nothing but just quietly go up to her, get down to her level and look her in the eye and ask her not to do things but at present it is not having the desired effect - but my Deputy seems to be winning every time!

 

Last week it was a case of telling her not to pick her nose - every time my Deputy saw her doing this she took her off to the bathroom to wash her hands - I tell you this week she hasn't picked her nose once. She also has this annoying habit of laughing/smiling at you when you are trying to ask her to do something correctly but we think this is a bit of attention seeking - she seems to love us directing our words at her so we have agreed today to lay off her a bit and just give her a look of disaproval at times. After all she knows what not to do (very much so!) and is just looking to us to see what we do.

 

It is a bit difficult for me because I don't seem to be as quick off the mark as my Deputy - probably because of my temperament. I prefer to be quiet but I get a look from my Deputy as much as to say "are you not going to do anything about that?" and when I react as she wants me to I get told off for being too loud - I cannot seem to win!

[suebear]

This deputy of yours is making me twitchy... did she apply for your job and not get it?

 

Does she mean your volume all the time or just if you are beginning to get cross? If when getting cross go quiet, silence with eye contact is always more unnerving! Think I'd be trying that on the Deputy!

 

Also does she give you compliments too or just make negative attacks at you?

 

Anyway enough questions.... A fun one to try is pretend you're a CBeebies presenter, that shocked but exaggerated tone often keeps their attention without any extra volume. x

[suebear]

I know probably the best method is to say nothing but just quietly go up to her, get down to her level and look her in the eye and ask her not to do things

 

Perhaps a bit of positive reinforcement for this child instead. Tell the child what she should be doing not what she shouldn't be. Perhaps a game of Simon Says or follow my leader where she can be in front but is having to think about her speed and the impact it has on her peers.

 

Don't stress, I bet you're doing brilliantly, think of all the good things you do each day too, it's hard not to constantly analyse when you want it all to be a successful, happy place isn't it?

[sunnyday]

This deputy of yours is making me twitchy... did she apply for your job and not get it?

 

I had thought about that too!

Don't stress, I bet you're doing brilliantly, think of all the good things you do each day too, it's hard not to constantly analyse when you want it all to be a successful, happy place isn't it?

Absolutely!

 

Honestly terrydoo this deputy of yours just seems to be determined to 'pull you down'

 

I had to laugh at the 'nosepicking' - does she not realise that noses are just waiting to be picked - that's why fingers fit so well - no I'm only kidding!

Not that I 'rush' any one off to the bathroom to wash their hands every time they touch their nose - just a quick "take your finger out of your nose please"........hmmmm..........perhaps I'm in the wrong there

Edited March 15, 2011 by sunnyday

[Guest]

I have to say that unless the children are appearing frightened, jumping out their skin and/or recoiling from you when you speak what is the problem? I'm a naturally loud person, everything I say to my class unless I make a real consious effort is full volume. Yes it results in a noisier class but they're perfectly happy and so am I. They know when I'm cross because I drop my voice quiet and low!

 

Isn't is funny how totally different things work for different people? I do the opposite to this. I speak quietly most of the time and save my loud voice for if someone's really in trouble!

 

My point is that just because a certain way of doing things works for your deputy, doesn't mean that you have to do things the same. You should do whatever works for you.

Edited March 17, 2011 by Guest

[Guest]

We have a little difficulty with one particular child who is extremely excitable but she is the youngest - she just has to get to the bathroom before everyone else and will run, jump, skip etc to be there. Then she pushes all the older children out of the way to get to the sink they are already at. I feel it is all about settling in and reinforcing the principles of no pushing, no running, showing consideration for others etc will take time. I know probably the best method is to say nothing but just quietly go up to her, get down to her level and look her in the eye and ask her not to do things but at present it is not having the desired effect - but my Deputy seems to be winning every time!

 

I remember an activity that I did as part of Team Teach training a couple of years ago where we were told to stand close to each other stare into each others eyes and question each other. We all ended up giggling nervously, feeling really uncomfortable and not being able to think of answers to simple questions. It really made me think about how I approach children when I want to speak to them regarding their behaviour.

Sometimes you don't need to get eye contact from a child or get too close to them to make them listen to you. Her giggling and silly behaviour could be a nervous reaction. Go with your instinct about how to deal with this child (and the others) and don't let your deputy get you down. If you believe that you need to change the way you do things then fair enough but if you feel that you're doing ok stick to your guns. I agree with the others that it's maybe your deputy who needs a good talking to!